Pilgrimage To A Place Called Love

I had a horrible weekend eating-wise. :( It almost seems the harder I try...the worse I do now. I'm not sure what my approach should be. I do really well during the day...but just lose it in the evenings. I started to talk to my wife about it this weekend...but I didn't want to burden her. She's been under alot of stress lately. I will talk to her...I'll just wait for a better time.

I did lots of reading and praying this weekend...I feel I have made progress towards finding out my "why"...right now I guess it's just one day at a time.

How was everyone elses weekend? If you're reading this, I hope you have a blessed day!

Fit
 
Happy Monday Fit,
I have the same problem with eating well all day and derailing it in the evening. Keeping busy has been working for me - when my mind turns to food I get up and find some house work to do or just open a magazine and get a different thought in my head. I find if I'm watching tv I'm ok while the program is on but as soon as it switches to the commercial I'm thinking about what I could eat - sometimes channel surfing helps but getting up and moving works too. The longer I sit there and think about what I can eat the more likely I am to go get it. Not sure if that helps but something to think about.
Have a good day.
 
chubbygirl,

I think you're right...my mind begins to wander towards food during commercials too. Especially when 97.89% of the commercials are about cheeseburgers, fries and pizza :(

Fit
 
The past few days have been good...I have been doing some things differently in my life...and I can really tell a difference. I have learned and re-learned alot about myself this week.

I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over-complicate things that shouldn't be complicated. I tend to over-analyze...when sometimes I just need to be still...and listen...and be loved.

Love is a powerful...mind clearing thing. And I'm not talking about how my wife loves me...or my kids love me...or my parents...or any other love that comes from the world around me. All of those loves are flawed...and sometimes conditional, but still good. True Love...perfect Love...is cleansing...and healing...and empowering. I am so thankful for Love.

If you're reading this, I hope you find Love today.

Fit
 
fitforaking said:
Yesterday was "today" yesterday. Another "today" gone. How did you do? It was the only Monday, February 15, 2010 you'll ever have. Did you make the most of it? Did you love the people around you? Did you let them love you?

So now...do you know what today is? Well crap, I gave you the answer. Today is "today". It's all you've got. We have no guarantees about tomorrow...can't change yesterday...so why not make the most of today? Aferall, it's the only Tuesday, February 16, 2010 you'll ever have.

If you're reading this...I hope your "today" is a blessed one!

Fit
Click to expand...


Fit,

Thank you. :eek: I'm 27 and have had weight issues for as long as I can remember... and I've always had the "when I'm thin, THEN i'll do _____________" mindset. I've started to let go of that, slowly but surely, now as I'm growing up, but it's always been a challenge to just accept today for the gift that it is and make the most of it, rather than hiding inside myself. So your words really hit home - I'll NEVER have another February 24th 2010, and I AM going to embrace it for what it is and live life to the fullest, today.

Thank you for making my day so much better.
Chantelle
 
Thanks for stopping by my journal! And thanks for being so open about Christ on yours. 10 years ago, I would have been antagonistic about your journal probably. I was wiccan and loathed Christianity. I was very "And harm ye none, do what ye will" but, Christians just bugged me. I even did my World Religions ISP on why Christianity was a false religion. Later that year, I met a group of Christians and we'd debate it. I remeber saying "My problem with Christians is they think their way is the only way." The lady who was my future church's pastor's wife said "It is" and that really rubbed me the wrong way too! Not too much later, just before I had my oldest child, I sat there one afternoon and her little foot popped up and rolled to the other side. I can still picture it in my mind. I knew right then that God had to be real. That only He could create the universe and everything in it. Only he could take 2 things, that were nearly invisible and create the miracle that was growing inside. I first got saved when I was 6, under the ironing board in my friend's basement. I think because of that, I was always tucked under God's wing and he was just waiting for me to come back and also why I fought so hard against Christianity.

Anyway, Good luck in you weight loss. You have a lot of great insight and I'm sure the Lord will help you accomplish your goals.
 
*LONG POST ALERT!!!*

Sara,

That’s an awesome testimony! Thanks for sharing that…

I went to church a few times as a child…usually with my aunt and uncle. They went to a church where if you didn’t go down front during the alter call you were going directly to hell ( I exaggerate). I remember them urging me to go down front…and I did a few times…but I had no idea what I was doing…or why I was doing it. No one took the time to explain anything to me…they just expected me to do it…it was about the act, not the heart. Those moments pushed me away from God. I didn’t go to church again as a child or teenager.

I always thought that there was a God…whatever form he might be in. And I knew of Jesus…and felt like he was good…but just not for me. I felt like a just God would take into consideration that I was a good person…I didn’t drink…I didn’t cuss…I didn’t sleep around…I was a good guy. I just wanted “movie” love with a girlfriend…a good job…a nice house and car. I just wanted a good, moral life…and I thought God would respect me for it and let me into heaven when it came time.

My best friend was a Christian…and he would often invite me to church with him…and I would always say, “I will…I promise…but not this time” I often would say that I was working things out in my heart…and when I was ready…I would be sincere about living for God. That was a true statement, except that I never really intended on being ready.

When I started college, God began using my life experiences, and the experiences of the people around me to show me that nothing on this earth is eternal. Everyone and everything in my life that I put hope and happiness into could let me down. I gave my heart away to girls a few times and it was trampled on and then cut up into little pieces. Found out that I couldn’t put my hope and happiness into people. Everything around me began to crumble. My dad had a heart attack…my youngest sister got cancer at 31…my oldest sister became an alcoholic…the girl I was in a relationship with became chronically ill…one of my best friends was killed in a car wreck…I was trying to hold it all together and finish my degree. My whole world was in turmoil. It was in that moment where everything was turned upside down…and I was in compete despair…God was the FARTHEST thing from my mind. I didn’t need Him making me feel guilty for all of the little stuff I thought He’d nitpick about my life. But it was in the bottom of that pit where God showed up…and whispered to my heart…”I love you…and I will be with you forever”.

It was then that God began the process in me that will only be completed when my life on this earth is over. He began revealing Himself to me…in little doses. I finally decided to give my heart to Christ…from that point on…I began to find peace…and joy in my turmoil. One of the greatest falsehoods about Christianity is that if you follow Jesus your life will be free from trouble. That’s not the case…if anything you may have more…but those will only go to confirm that we can not do this (this=life) on our own. It is in the midst of our trials that we realize that we need Him more than ever.

Since I became saved, I have had the awesome blessing of seeing (in order) my son, my daughter, my oldest niece, my nephew, my youngest sister, my youngest niece, my oldest sister, my mom and finally my dad be baptized. Each one of them has their own story…their own testimony…and each one is awesome! God has done amazing things thru my family…things I never thought I’d see!!!

Fastforward to today…my dad has gone through prostrate cancer, colon cancer and another heart attack. My mom has had a heart attack and a brain clot…my oldest sister (who was the alcoholic) was sober the last 10 years of her life before she died at the age of 41 due to complications that ultimately came from her drinking. I have had close friends die. I have battled through several health problems of my own…I’m married and trying to raise two teenagers.

With all that being said…I am blessed. Today is a gift that I don’t deserve. Being blessed and loved by Jesus has nothing to do with what I do or don’t do to earn His love. No matter how good I act…I am not worthy of His love. It is about loving Him…and letting Him love me. I often write about Love…because that’s what He is…Love. People think, “You do good and God loves you…you do bad and God hates you. I need to get my life straight before I turn to God.” But the reality is they have it backwards…it is only after you give your heart to Christ can your life ever have any resemblance of being “together”. There is nothing…NOTHING that we can do to earn God’s love…it is given freely. And freely we must accept it.

I didn’t intend to write a novel here...but looks like I did. I’ve never written out a testimony…so maybe this was a good thing :) Some will read this and say "good for you"..."I'm happy that works for you". And I get that...I was there. I'm just thankful I cracked the door and let Him in :)

If you read all that….thanks! LOL...either way, I hope everyone finds Love today!

Fit
 
I am so excited! I've been having a really good week. I made some poor choices a couple of times over the past few days, but not what I'd call "bingeing"...and when I did make the poor choice, I no longer felt the shame that I have been feeling. It was just a recognition that I probably shouldn't have eaten that...and then I moved on.

I think the shame that we carry about our eating...and our weight...and our lack of exercise is not good for us. Some may say that shame acts as a motivation for them...but I think over time we become less sensitive to it...almost immune or hardened from a motivational standpoint. It still stings when we experience shame...but instead of motivating, it drives us the other way...deeper into our pit.

Just my thoughts...
Fit
 
Hey there :) Thanks for dropping by my diary and offering the encouraging words. I am glad to hear you have been doing well with your journey, it is always great to hear of someone success :)

Anyway, Good job on everything and I will come back to check on your progress!

Take care.

-Shawnna
 
I really enjoyed your last post - thank you for writing it all out and from your heart makes it even more special. Have a great weekend and keep up the healthy living!
 
chubbygirl,

The fact that you enjoyed reading it made writing it all worthwhile.

Thank you for your kind words! I hope you have a great weekend as well!

Fit
 
Hi Fit,

Thank you for stopping by my diary and leaving such kind and motivating words. You calling me an inspiration really really means a lot to me so thank you for that. You sound like you are off to a great start, losing weight has a lot of high highs and a lot of low lows so I am glad that you have your faith to keeping you going and to help get you fit and healthy. I will be checking in with you! Have a wonderful weekend!
 
Good morning everyone! What are you going to do with your March 3rd, 2010????

Will you dictate how your day goes....or will you allow it to dictate you???

The day is full of choices...I hope you make them...and make them with Love.

Fit
 
A small group I'm in at church has been reading a book the past month or ...we meet on Thursday mornings at 6:15am to talk and discuss.

This morning we talked about our desires. The author broke desires out into critical desires and casual desires. The critical desires tend to be relational (desire for love, respect, security, etc)…while the casual desires tend to be situational (desire for health, pleasure, etc). Because casual desires are situational, they tend to be more easily satisfied.

It got me to thinking about how many times when my critical desires aren’t being met, I turn to casual desires. Casual desires aren’t bad by nature, but we often make them bad when we begin to substitute them freely for our critical desires.

I think for me…food is an idol that feeds a desire. I turn to food to satisfy a casual desire due to a perceived deficiency of a critical desire.

This sounded good in my head…I’m not sure I’m communicating it effectively though.

Maybe this is one of those thoughts that should have stayed in my head ;)

If you're reading this...I hope you have a blessed day!!!

Fit
 
Guided by Grace

Ever wonder if you're blessed? Ever complain about "having" to get on the treadmill? It's all about perspective...

BY JOE STRAUSS
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
03/05/2010

JUPITER, Fla. — Trever Miller will begin Saturday by lacing up his running shoes, not his spikes.

Rather than engaging in clubhouse banter typical of each spring training morning, the Cardinals lefthander will line up for a 10K run that winds through the Abacoa community surrounding Roger Dean Stadium. Fittingly, the finish line is inside the ballpark.

"I've just got to figure out where it starts," he said. "If I was scheduled to pitch in a game that day, I probably wouldn't do it."

Miller is the Cardinals' running man, a veteran of two full marathons who turned to roadwork for both therapy and conditioning.

Saturday will be mostly for fun, since the reliever routinely makes three- and five-mile runs. But he also runs for an underlying, more poignant purpose.

The youngest of Miller's three children, Grace, was born prematurely with an extremely rare chromosomal disorder that left her with two holes in her heart and numerous developmental problems.

Grace will never speak. She will never walk. Her parents will celebrate the day she may sit up on her own.

Shortly after Grace was delivered by emergency Caesarian section, doctors asked Miller and his wife, Pam, if they wanted to discontinue extraordinary measures keeping their baby alive. The couple insisted doctors do what could be done.

Now 5, Grace weighs only 37 pounds and must be fed through a tube. Another device helps her breathe.

Grace's condition is rare enough that it does not have a name. Miller says doctors informed him shortly after his daughter's birth that they could not find another documented case since 1980. Because so little is known about Grace's condition, there is little treatment except to suction her lungs to avoid pneumonia.

"As a father, you see yourself as the one who takes care of things," he said. "If the yard needs to be cleaned up, you go take care of it. If you child gets a boo-boo on the knee, you patch it up. In this situation, there was nothing I could do."

There have been times, many times, Miller couldn't help but ask why.

A Christian, Miller admits he became angry with God. He once threw a Bible. He developed a drinking habit that only brought his family more pain.

Running became a tonic of sorts. "It was the anger," he recalled. Miller pushed himself, trying to sweat out frustration that previously could not be sated. Eventually, Miller says, he came to terms with his daughter's condition and began to appreciate each day with her as its own gift rather than something unjust. Running plays a role in maintaining that balance. Some days Miller will push his daughter on his runs. He even sought permission from organizers to push Grace during January's marathon at Disney World, but was denied. No matter.

"In my heart, she was with me the whole time," Miller recalled of this January's run.

Miller began training for his first marathon after his 2008 season with the Tampa Bay Rays. He advanced from eight-mile jogs to reach 20 miles shortly before the January 2009 event. He finished the 26.2-mile trek in less than 4 1/2 hours, his shirt proclaiming "26 for Grace, .2 for me".

Grace has become her father's inspiration. Though she can't speak, Grace communicates with basic hand gestures. She is playful and smiles often.

"Grace is the strongest person I know," Miller said. "It's a struggle sometimes for her even to breathe, but she loves life. She handles it like her namesake — Grace."

Those familiar with Miller's story remark about the strength he and his wife share.

"Trever's a remarkable guy that you have to admire given what he deals with day to day," general manager John Mozeliak said. "The strength he and his wife show transcend the game. You look at what they've been able to accomplish with what they deal with and you have to admire them."

Miller came to the Cardinals with medical strings attached. An examination of his left shoulder sent up warning signs, causing the club to rework his deal. Miller enjoyed enough success last season, however, to prompt the Cardinals to give him a two-year extension.

"When someone lives the life he lives as a father and a husband, it reassures you when you're considering adding him to your club," Mozeliak said. "You understand what kind of person he is. Not only do I recognize the success he's had on the field and the honesty of how he handled his contract, you realize the commitment he has to both his professional and personal life."

Miller plans to run again Saturday. He will not run angry. He will run for two.
 
Hi Fit. I didn't even realize you had started a new journal. Glad I found it. Sounds like your priorities are straight. God promises us struggles though, don't forget that. They are usually given to us to help us grow.

I never knew that about Trever Miller. That was a powerful article. I feel for him and his family but it sounds like they are a strong family.

Take care and keep up the good work.

Derrick
 
Derrick,

Thanks for stopping by....I can't forget that we are promised struggles, as I deal with them daily. But it is a wonderful thing to have a peace...and a joy during those struggles...knowing that everything will be ok...and that I will never have more burdens than I can bear.

We are blessed to have several Christians on the Cards...Pujols, Holliday, Carp, Waino, Hawksworth, Molina, Miller...those are the ones I can name off the top of my head. Waino and Hawksworth tweet about their faith alot :)

Fit
 
Wow...it's been two weeks since I've posted in my journal...alot has gone on in two weeks, unfortunately not all good. My wife has been sick for two weeks now...she gets better...then worse...then better...then..well, you get the picture. I'm taking her for some tests tomorrow...maybe we can figure out what is going on and get her well.

I haven't felt well either...but I haven't had time to take care of myself. My stress level is up, so I'm sure my BP is as well. I absolutely have NOT been eating well...lots of convenience food...fast food...just not good at all. I'm exhausted at the end of the day...so no energy to workout...and haven't been able to get up early to play racquetball...

BUT...all that being said....we are BLESSED! My wife is sick...but she is alive. It could be worse. There are people in our lives that we know who are worse than she is. I'm tired...but I too am alive! (obviously since I'm typing this!)

God, for some reason unknown to me...has given me another day. I do not have to understand Him to ACCEPT His gifts and blessings. I have air in my lungs, blood in my veins, my mind is sharp, I can walk, talk, feed myself, wipe my own tail, laugh, cry, hug, kiss and KNEEL before my Lord who loves me in spite of myself.

Today, will you focus on what you DON'T have and bitch and moan about it? OR will you rejoice in the things that you DO have??? It's your choice....I've made mine.

<>< Fit :)
 
I pray you and your family have better days ahead starting today! Just wanted to thank you for supporting me and posting in my own journal. Also wanted to say you have a great attitude and faith about you.
 
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