Week in +/-
- kidlet (age 5) has chickenpox
- despite being vaccinated
- and is covered in literally hundreds of pox
- plus she has a nasty outbreak of eczema, complicated by a bacterial infection, on top of the chickenpox, all over the back of her legs
+ she thinks her antibiotic is delicious
- because she's contagious, she's out of camp all week
- but she was also contagious before she had visible pox, so all the kids she was at camp with last week have been exposed
- troublesome stressful thing, ongoing for nearly 2 months, is going to hang over things for at least 2 more months. Lack of resolution is driving everyone crazy.
- I'm staying up way way way too late, because otherwise I lie in bed and toss and turn
- sick kid is up at the crack of dawn, meaning no sleeping in, even on weekends
- so I have way way way too much caffeine, so I can function
- which means I can't sleep the next night, either
- I read LJ at work today, and the combination of outdated browser, un-updated Windows, and lack of virus protection infected my computer with a nasty slew of spyware, because there's a meme going around with a browser exploit embedded in it, and loading an LJ page with someone's meme results was enough to infect my computer
+ scale has remained steady until this week
- despite the fact that I should be in a small deficit
- the scale has gone up this week, when my normal hormone pattern lead me to expect it to go down
- eating fewer calories than maintenance with no scale loss over several weeks makes me munchy
- lack of sleep makes me munchy
- stress makes me munchy
- Blue Bell Candy Jar ice cream is delicious
+ on a good day, I can have my half-cup serving and be done
- on a bad day, I can eat more than half of a half-gallon carton immediately after dinner and feel vaguely ill from too much sugar without ever feeling physically full
- yesterday appears to have been a bad day
+ today appears to be a better day
+ I recorded all of my calories yesterday, so I know that...
+ averaged over two weeks, I'm about break-even calorically
+ so I have a clean slate, so to speak, so ought to be able to eat a typical number of calories today, or slightly less than normal as a natural compensatory eating pattern
- instead I find myself wanting to eat little or nothing, not as a way of counteracting those calories, but more as a way to regain control. On a good day emotionally, I can forgo counting calories and eat at maintenance by paying attention to how I feel. On a good day emotionally, when I'm not paying attention to how I physically feel and not counting calories, if I go overboard and notice it, I can regroup mid-day, walk away from the junk, and be back on track. I'm having a bunch of not-good-emotionally days, and I learned yesterday that emotional upset really disrupts my ability to judge calories by how I feel physically. And it makes me not want to regroup, or walk away from the junk, or get back on track.
+ my tentative conclusion is that if I'm having a bad day, I need to go strictly by the numbers, even if there's a little voice in my head complaining I'm starving
+ I need some better long-term solution, because after a week of bad days, going by the numbers is miserable. This is a + and not a -, because identifying the problem is half the battle
+ I should go eat something nutritious and comforting, but not overwhelmingly sweet or salty, because I'm currently under 450 calories for the day, and that's not enough, no matter how many I had yesterday
+ tomorrow I must make time for exercise I enjoy, because that helped today tremendously
- kidlet is all mine during the cool part of the day tomorrow, and she can't go out in public (being still contagious and all), so I can't do what I really want to do, which is go out for a jog in the early morning. (And even if she could be around people, she couldn't sit in the car while I jogged, nor would/could she jog with me.)
+ Wii-boxing it is, then