I_wannaBthin
New member
I wish I would have been more motivated to get out and exercise today! That is so awesome for you!
Hope you had a great weekind!
Hope you had a great weekind!
Phoebe jumps on the bandwagon
- Thread starter allyphoe
- Start date
Three miles walked today; 2 at 16 min with my mom, 1 at 14 min with my dad. Pedometer says to me under 5,800 steps in those 3 miles. A mile has 5,280 feet. So 1,933 steps per mile is 2.73 feet of stride length. Average stride length for a woman is 2.2 feet. I have a 28" inseam, so am not long-legged. Hmm.
I_wannaBthin
New member
I missed the posts about the "mixed" children, my best friend is Mexican...very dark hair and beautiful brown eyes, dark complexion; her husband is what I would call an "average" white guy, not too light, not too dark, all three of her boys are pale white with red hair! I could not believe that not one came out looking like her...no resemblance at all!
My girl looks just like me and my boy looks just like my husband, so I keep reassuring her that maybe if she has a girl she will look like her. But she had 3 boys in 3 years so she's not trying for that girl anytime soon!
Allyphoe, I always wondered how accurate those pedometers were. I mean who would actually check by counting their steps?
Great job with the 3 miles! Keep up the good work!
My girl looks just like me and my boy looks just like my husband, so I keep reassuring her that maybe if she has a girl she will look like her. But she had 3 boys in 3 years so she's not trying for that girl anytime soon!
Allyphoe, I always wondered how accurate those pedometers were. I mean who would actually check by counting their steps?
Great job with the 3 miles! Keep up the good work!
LOL - that was one of the first things I did. Although generally the complaint about pedometers is that they count too many steps - mine only counts too few if I'm wearing pants that fit poorly. Mine tracks time walked for faster walking (and today's walk was definitely faster), and it counted all the time, so it must have counted at least most of the steps.
I_wannaBthin
New member
Sorry about that! I read what you wrote and let out a laugh so loud my boy almost jumped right out of the sink!
Okay, let me explain...my husband and father-in-law have been rennovating our bathroom for over 2 1/2 months now, and my son is too scared to take a shower so I have to put him in the sink. So he's sitting there playing and I'm on my laptop. Wanna know why he's in the bath?
I made my daughter some green beans and she pulled the butter out of the fridge to put some on. Well I went downstairs to do some work and my boy got butter all over the floor, stove, and himself...what a mess!
Okay, let me explain...my husband and father-in-law have been rennovating our bathroom for over 2 1/2 months now, and my son is too scared to take a shower so I have to put him in the sink. So he's sitting there playing and I'm on my laptop. Wanna know why he's in the bath?
I made my daughter some green beans and she pulled the butter out of the fridge to put some on. Well I went downstairs to do some work and my boy got butter all over the floor, stove, and himself...what a mess!
Oh, no! I can't imagine what a mess that must be.
If there's one thing I'm thankful for (besides the obvious big things), it's having a kid who isn't physically curious. She asks a billion questions, but she's never given the cupboard under the kitchen sink (where all of the cleaning supplies are stored without any childproofing
) a second glance. The worst mess we ever had was a yogurt shampoo, and she was in the highchair at the time.
If there's one thing I'm thankful for (besides the obvious big things), it's having a kid who isn't physically curious. She asks a billion questions, but she's never given the cupboard under the kitchen sink (where all of the cleaning supplies are stored without any childproofing
) a second glance. The worst mess we ever had was a yogurt shampoo, and she was in the highchair at the time.
Four miles. Fifty minutes.
Still only 8,000 steps so far today.
Must go die now.
Yesterday or the day before I posted something in response to someone else, and I think it warrants discussion here.
0. Fix your head. What works about being fat for you? Face the benefits and give them up if you want to be slender.
1. Eat less.
2. Exercise more.
3. Repeat
4. Forever.
I spent my 50 minutes today thinking about Step 0. Will be back to comment later this evening if I get a chance. Needs more mental effort than I can scrape up while avoiding work.
Still only 8,000 steps so far today.
Must go die now.
Yesterday or the day before I posted something in response to someone else, and I think it warrants discussion here.
0. Fix your head. What works about being fat for you? Face the benefits and give them up if you want to be slender.
1. Eat less.
2. Exercise more.
3. Repeat
4. Forever.
I spent my 50 minutes today thinking about Step 0. Will be back to comment later this evening if I get a chance. Needs more mental effort than I can scrape up while avoiding work.
0. Fix your head. What works about being fat for you? Face the benefits and give them
So far, I've got a pretty good handle on the "eat less, move more, repeat" bit. But in the last 8 months, I haven't really done anything on the "fix your head." And I've been up and down enough to realize that the key to "forever" lies in the head-fixing.
One of the things I like best about walking is that it gives me an opportunity to think with no distractions. So while I was out today (mom at a client's, dad getting his haircut - I got to walk all by myself), I thought.
So what does work for me about being fat? Honestly, there are a ton of things.
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, I know I'm fat. And being told something I know to be true doesn't bother me. So if my dad (to pick a person not at all at random) says I'm getting fat, I can cheerfully agree with him. When I was 115 pounds and he said I was getting fat, and I was still a dependent child living at home, it did bother me.
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, I've chosen to be fat. I have control over what I eat, and I've made the choice not to be someone (like my dad) who lives off of saltine crackers and Diet Dr. Pepper and ice cream, who exercises constantly and obsesses about gaining weight even when it's muscle weight.
- If I weight nearly 200 pounds, I can always choose to be skinnier, with relatively little effort on my part. (I've always been able to lose fast when I really wanted to, and the first 25 pounds this time came off without any particular effort beyond the desire to lose them.) If I'm already at or below a healthy weight for my body, and I still think I'm fat, even a steady diet of nearly nothing doesn't make the pounds drop away.
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, and I buy clothes, the clothes I buy are loose and concealing and comfortable, with a little room to grow into. That's what I bought at 165, too. And at 145. At 115, the clothes I owned looked loose and concealing (what better way to hide all that fat?), but they all had tight, tight waists, because I've always had a skinny waist, and figured I may as well show off what I did have. So at low weights, my favorite clothes felt a bit too tight from normal water weight fluctuation, even if I wasn't gaining weight. At high weights, nothing was ever too tight unless I'd gained 20 pounds or more. (I have several pairs of pants that fit me comfortably through a 50-pound range. That makes it really, really easy to ignore gains.)
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want. And I'll look more or less the same for weeks or months on end, even if I'm gaining steadily. Ten or twenty pounds isn't nearly as visible on that kind of base as it is on a 120 base. Plus that extra weight gives me quite a few more calories at maintenance - nearly 400 extra calories I can eat every day without worrying about gaining weight. And if I do gain, no one notices, including me.
- I can be nearly 200 pounds and still feel healthy, because I've always had good stamina for walking even when I was at my heaviest, and I've never been good at any other physical activity even when I was at my lightest. One of the main things that triggered this loss was the realization that this wasn't true anymore, and that my weight was (literally) crippling me.
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, that's an excellent excuse for being uninterested in sex, whereas "something's wrong with the relationship" tends to lead to messy late-night conversations.
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, that's an excellent excuse for not dressing up (something I hate doing anyhow), and for avoiding social situations where I'd be expected to dress up (another thing I dislike). Don't have any size 18 dress-up clothes? Silly to buy some when you might not be in a size 18 very long? Let's just not go, or rationalize going wearing clothes that are really too casual for the event. Heck, I didn't own *shoes* that fit that were nicer than Crocs.
Lots of good things about being fat. It's easy to be fat. You can always be skinnier tomorrow, but for today, let's be fat. You can't control the scale if you're trying to be skinny, but what's 5 pounds of fluctuation when you're fat? Food that keeps you fat is delicious and plentiful and requires no forethought or planning or effort. Lack of exercise that keeps you fat fits right into the schedule. Want to be fat? You need have no doubts that you will achieve your desired goal. Forever is a long, long time to give up all of that.
I may need to revisit these in more detail at some point, but in my experience, identifying the underlying issue is the bulk of the battle. At least for short-term battles. And a long-term battle is just a short-term battle, repeated. Forever.
So far, I've got a pretty good handle on the "eat less, move more, repeat" bit. But in the last 8 months, I haven't really done anything on the "fix your head." And I've been up and down enough to realize that the key to "forever" lies in the head-fixing.
One of the things I like best about walking is that it gives me an opportunity to think with no distractions. So while I was out today (mom at a client's, dad getting his haircut - I got to walk all by myself), I thought.
So what does work for me about being fat? Honestly, there are a ton of things.
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, I know I'm fat. And being told something I know to be true doesn't bother me. So if my dad (to pick a person not at all at random) says I'm getting fat, I can cheerfully agree with him. When I was 115 pounds and he said I was getting fat, and I was still a dependent child living at home, it did bother me.
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, I've chosen to be fat. I have control over what I eat, and I've made the choice not to be someone (like my dad) who lives off of saltine crackers and Diet Dr. Pepper and ice cream, who exercises constantly and obsesses about gaining weight even when it's muscle weight.
- If I weight nearly 200 pounds, I can always choose to be skinnier, with relatively little effort on my part. (I've always been able to lose fast when I really wanted to, and the first 25 pounds this time came off without any particular effort beyond the desire to lose them.) If I'm already at or below a healthy weight for my body, and I still think I'm fat, even a steady diet of nearly nothing doesn't make the pounds drop away.
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, and I buy clothes, the clothes I buy are loose and concealing and comfortable, with a little room to grow into. That's what I bought at 165, too. And at 145. At 115, the clothes I owned looked loose and concealing (what better way to hide all that fat?), but they all had tight, tight waists, because I've always had a skinny waist, and figured I may as well show off what I did have. So at low weights, my favorite clothes felt a bit too tight from normal water weight fluctuation, even if I wasn't gaining weight. At high weights, nothing was ever too tight unless I'd gained 20 pounds or more. (I have several pairs of pants that fit me comfortably through a 50-pound range. That makes it really, really easy to ignore gains.)
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want. And I'll look more or less the same for weeks or months on end, even if I'm gaining steadily. Ten or twenty pounds isn't nearly as visible on that kind of base as it is on a 120 base. Plus that extra weight gives me quite a few more calories at maintenance - nearly 400 extra calories I can eat every day without worrying about gaining weight. And if I do gain, no one notices, including me.
- I can be nearly 200 pounds and still feel healthy, because I've always had good stamina for walking even when I was at my heaviest, and I've never been good at any other physical activity even when I was at my lightest. One of the main things that triggered this loss was the realization that this wasn't true anymore, and that my weight was (literally) crippling me.
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, that's an excellent excuse for being uninterested in sex, whereas "something's wrong with the relationship" tends to lead to messy late-night conversations.
- If I weigh nearly 200 pounds, that's an excellent excuse for not dressing up (something I hate doing anyhow), and for avoiding social situations where I'd be expected to dress up (another thing I dislike). Don't have any size 18 dress-up clothes? Silly to buy some when you might not be in a size 18 very long? Let's just not go, or rationalize going wearing clothes that are really too casual for the event. Heck, I didn't own *shoes* that fit that were nicer than Crocs.
Lots of good things about being fat. It's easy to be fat. You can always be skinnier tomorrow, but for today, let's be fat. You can't control the scale if you're trying to be skinny, but what's 5 pounds of fluctuation when you're fat? Food that keeps you fat is delicious and plentiful and requires no forethought or planning or effort. Lack of exercise that keeps you fat fits right into the schedule. Want to be fat? You need have no doubts that you will achieve your desired goal. Forever is a long, long time to give up all of that.
I may need to revisit these in more detail at some point, but in my experience, identifying the underlying issue is the bulk of the battle. At least for short-term battles. And a long-term battle is just a short-term battle, repeated. Forever.
I_wannaBthin
New member
That is a really interesting perspective. I've thought about why I want to be thin, and what I hate about being fat, but never really what works about being fat. I mean that is the reason I got this fat...I could never get below 170 or so (in recent years) so I figured why give up on all those yummy foods I love so much and bust my butt exercising, when I could just do what I want? Yes, I'm sure that is why I got so fat.
Well, being fat must not work for you Ms. 147! Good job getting your weight under control, I am so happy for you!
Well, being fat must not work for you Ms. 147! Good job getting your weight under control, I am so happy for you!
Oh, being fat totally works for me. I've been either overweight or obese for all but about 6 months of the last 11.5 years. And by "6 months," I mean "the last 4 weeks, plus maybe a couple of months when I was on a very restrictive diet for non-weight-related medical reasons, before I figured out how to gain weight on a very restrictive diet." Every pound I've lost this time I've lost at least once before, which means I've gained it at least twice. The particular pounds I'm losing now haven't been lost very often (maybe twice before now?), but the ones between 145 and 165 have come and gone many many many times.
I'm really good at losing weight. I have yet to be really good at keeping it off long-term. And it's because being fat works for me - I'm good at it, and when it becomes a problem, I'm good at solving that problem. The state of being on a diet works for me (I'm really good at it, I get lots of positive external feedback, I get to be in pretty much complete control, it gives me excuses for avoiding situations I want to avoid, etc.).
Maintaining any weight that doesn't fall firmly into the category of "too heavy" does not work for me. It's too associated with negative emotions, it's effort without reward, and it doesn't give me any convenient excuses. Would I like to lose down to 127? Heck, yes. I'd lose down to 117 (which is not a healthy and sustainable weight for me, and it wasn't when I was a skinny teenager) if I thought I could. Do I want to stay there, with all that staying there implies (as opposed to having the skinny-Phoebe fairy wave her magic wand and make maintaining effortless)? You know, now that I think about it, I really don't. I want to be able to say "I could maintain that weight if I really wanted to." But right now, today, I don't really want to actually maintain it.
Thank you. That was actually a really helpful comment. Now I have something to work on the next time I get to walk alone.
I'm really good at losing weight. I have yet to be really good at keeping it off long-term. And it's because being fat works for me - I'm good at it, and when it becomes a problem, I'm good at solving that problem. The state of being on a diet works for me (I'm really good at it, I get lots of positive external feedback, I get to be in pretty much complete control, it gives me excuses for avoiding situations I want to avoid, etc.).
Maintaining any weight that doesn't fall firmly into the category of "too heavy" does not work for me. It's too associated with negative emotions, it's effort without reward, and it doesn't give me any convenient excuses. Would I like to lose down to 127? Heck, yes. I'd lose down to 117 (which is not a healthy and sustainable weight for me, and it wasn't when I was a skinny teenager) if I thought I could. Do I want to stay there, with all that staying there implies (as opposed to having the skinny-Phoebe fairy wave her magic wand and make maintaining effortless)? You know, now that I think about it, I really don't. I want to be able to say "I could maintain that weight if I really wanted to." But right now, today, I don't really want to actually maintain it.
Thank you. That was actually a really helpful comment. Now I have something to work on the next time I get to walk alone.
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lanadefemme
New member
It interesting that you point out that it is somewhat safer to be overweight in the mental sense. There seems to be a sense of security hiding behind a wall of fat.
Personally, I thought the only big benefit of being overweight was larger boobs. LOL.
Personally, I thought the only big benefit of being overweight was larger boobs. LOL.
3 miles slow with my mom today. Legs sore from yesterday, so I was happy to go her speed. Maybe 50 minutes total.
Yesterday I said that I didn't really want to maintain a low weight. Today, I'd like to refine and expand upon that idea. I don't want to maintain a low weight using the (physically and mentally) unhealthy techniques I've used in the past. But that doesn't mean that I want to maintain a high weight as the easy way out, either; that's every bit as physically and mentally unhealthy. Just in a different way. Which, when it comes down to it, is really just the same way.
I don't want to try to be skinny in the sense of "just a few pounds lighter than you are now, regardless of where you are now." But the opposite of that isn't to be fat. It's to be satisfied with a reasonable, healthy weight, and a reasonable, healthy level of fitness. To avoid falling off one extreme, I ought not go to the other extreme. Find a balance in the middle, where I don't have to expend all my energy maintaining both ends to avoid tipping over.
So what works for me about being fat? It gives the appearance of breaking old patterns, all the while maintaining those patterns. I can say I'm doing things differently, doing things my way, without ever giving up the familiar comfort of the way things have always been. Truly doing things differently is uncomfortable, and hard, and takes a lot of practice, and the first umpteen times you get it wrong. It's easy to keep slipping back into the deep-worn ruts, and it's hard to keep climbing out of them.
I think for the short run, the goal is to keep losing. Where I am right now, not technically overweight but higher than I ought to be given my frame, is low enough to trigger emotional reactions, but high enough that if I tried to maintain here, I'd end up just a few pounds heavier (back in "safe" territory) as if by accident. I need a big enough margin that my weight could fluctuate or I could put on muscle or I could gain back a bit and I would still be at a reasonable, healthy weight. My current goal (another 15 pounds down) puts me about in the middle of the medium-frame weight range on the insurance charts (which even their detractors say do a decent job for medium-framed people of slightly below-average height, which I am). So I think that's not a bad place to start.
And for the short run after that, the goal is to practice maintaining within a couple-pound range. No gaining. No losing. I'd like at some point to work on adding muscle (nothing says sexy to me like a woman with muscles, and it may as well be me), so I'll have to think about how to incorporate that. I just need to pick a place and say "This is good enough" and live with it for 6 months or a year or two years, and then re-evaluate whether I want to be there or somewhere else. I've spent 11.5 years at a weight that is not reasonable or healthy. Spending 2 years at a weight that is reasonable and healthy but perhaps not ideal will not do one bit of harm. I do not need to be absolutely 100% perfect all the time any more than I need to be absolutely 100% imperfect all the time. Good enough is good enough.
Yesterday I said that I didn't really want to maintain a low weight. Today, I'd like to refine and expand upon that idea. I don't want to maintain a low weight using the (physically and mentally) unhealthy techniques I've used in the past. But that doesn't mean that I want to maintain a high weight as the easy way out, either; that's every bit as physically and mentally unhealthy. Just in a different way. Which, when it comes down to it, is really just the same way.
I don't want to try to be skinny in the sense of "just a few pounds lighter than you are now, regardless of where you are now." But the opposite of that isn't to be fat. It's to be satisfied with a reasonable, healthy weight, and a reasonable, healthy level of fitness. To avoid falling off one extreme, I ought not go to the other extreme. Find a balance in the middle, where I don't have to expend all my energy maintaining both ends to avoid tipping over.
So what works for me about being fat? It gives the appearance of breaking old patterns, all the while maintaining those patterns. I can say I'm doing things differently, doing things my way, without ever giving up the familiar comfort of the way things have always been. Truly doing things differently is uncomfortable, and hard, and takes a lot of practice, and the first umpteen times you get it wrong. It's easy to keep slipping back into the deep-worn ruts, and it's hard to keep climbing out of them.
I think for the short run, the goal is to keep losing. Where I am right now, not technically overweight but higher than I ought to be given my frame, is low enough to trigger emotional reactions, but high enough that if I tried to maintain here, I'd end up just a few pounds heavier (back in "safe" territory) as if by accident. I need a big enough margin that my weight could fluctuate or I could put on muscle or I could gain back a bit and I would still be at a reasonable, healthy weight. My current goal (another 15 pounds down) puts me about in the middle of the medium-frame weight range on the insurance charts (which even their detractors say do a decent job for medium-framed people of slightly below-average height, which I am). So I think that's not a bad place to start.
And for the short run after that, the goal is to practice maintaining within a couple-pound range. No gaining. No losing. I'd like at some point to work on adding muscle (nothing says sexy to me like a woman with muscles, and it may as well be me), so I'll have to think about how to incorporate that. I just need to pick a place and say "This is good enough" and live with it for 6 months or a year or two years, and then re-evaluate whether I want to be there or somewhere else. I've spent 11.5 years at a weight that is not reasonable or healthy. Spending 2 years at a weight that is reasonable and healthy but perhaps not ideal will not do one bit of harm. I do not need to be absolutely 100% perfect all the time any more than I need to be absolutely 100% imperfect all the time. Good enough is good enough.
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I_wannaBthin
New member
Hey, I relized that I typed 147 last time, but I meant 142. Those 5 pounds probably didn't lose themselves!
I am glad to read your last post because you were getting me a little worried about you! I know that you will be able to maintain your weight loss, the goal is just to take small steps until it becomes like a second nature to you.
All of my successful clients at Inches-A-Weigh say that the reason they stay successful is because they have truly made a lifestyle change, it was not just a diet. And the people who finish the nutrition program and lose the weight, but continue on years afterwards doing just the exercise rarely gain more than 5 to 10 pounds back...which is usually over the holidays and lost again by spring.
I also used to be really thin in high school, and I have been at an uncomfortable weight for about 2 years now. I guess one of the big reasons I want to lose now is that I don't want it to become 5 years or 10 years.
Thank you for being such an inspiring person! I know you will get your 15 pounds off and that you will maintain it.
I am glad to read your last post because you were getting me a little worried about you! I know that you will be able to maintain your weight loss, the goal is just to take small steps until it becomes like a second nature to you.
All of my successful clients at Inches-A-Weigh say that the reason they stay successful is because they have truly made a lifestyle change, it was not just a diet. And the people who finish the nutrition program and lose the weight, but continue on years afterwards doing just the exercise rarely gain more than 5 to 10 pounds back...which is usually over the holidays and lost again by spring.
I also used to be really thin in high school, and I have been at an uncomfortable weight for about 2 years now. I guess one of the big reasons I want to lose now is that I don't want it to become 5 years or 10 years.
Thank you for being such an inspiring person! I know you will get your 15 pounds off and that you will maintain it.
India1
New member
Interesting thoughts in your last posts. True, fat can be safe. And being on a constant "I'm on a diet" state of mind can be even more comfortable. I reflected upon this many times and I haven't found an answer yet to why it is so good for me to be always thinking "I should lose weight".When I really get near there all of a sudden all my good motivations just disappear. And I gain all my weight back again. I'm working on this and I hope to solve this problem, sooner or later. I'm glad there are other people struggling with this, I like exchanging opinions on the matter.
Pretty much any honest thought is a productive one, because the faster I realize my brain is in the wrong place, the faster it'll get to the right one.
The post you found worrisome wasn't me saying "I give up," it was me saying "What I originally identified as my goal isn't where I want to be." And that's still the case - the number on the scale hasn't changed, but the reasons why that's the number, and my desired attitude toward that number, have changed. And for me at least, reasons and attitude matter much, much more than the number.
For me, the goal is to fix my head. Working on maintaining by rote until I can maintain by habit is a tool to achieve that goal, but the main goal is to fix my head. Otherwise, it's just a matter of time before I'd gain the weight back.