"People don't see past the weight".

Just for the record, I never said that people who are attracted to a certain visual appearance somebody are shallow (even though....no, never mind). I said people who cannot see past that, and base their entire opinion of that person on one physical feature, are shallow and narrow-minded.

i.e. our good friend msandra, who decided that everybody who is overweight lacks character, which was probably one of the most stupid remarks I've ever seen on this board.

The title of the thread was 'People don't see past the weight' after all, and I stand by my original statement. Somebody who is unable to look past the weight of somebody and judge them based on what they look like, is shallow, narrow-minded and arrogant. And that's the nicer of the descriptions I can come up with.
I'm not talking about looking at somebody and thinking 'Oh, he/she's chubby', or 'Oh, he/she is not somebody I'd want a relationship with', I'm talking about about seeing that somebody is overweight and dismissing that person as a human being and as somebody that should be treated with the same respect as everybody else.
 
San said:
Just for the record, I never said that people who are attracted to a certain visual appearance somebody are shallow (even though....no, never mind). I said people who cannot see past that, and base their entire opinion of that person on one physical feature, are shallow and narrow-minded.

i.e. our good friend msandra, who decided that everybody who is overweight lacks character, which was probably one of the most stupid remarks I've ever seen on this board.

The title of the thread was 'People don't see past the weight' after all, and I stand by my original statement. Somebody who is unable to look past the weight of somebody and judge them based on what they look like, is shallow, narrow-minded and arrogant. And that's the nicer of the descriptions I can come up with.
I'm not talking about looking at somebody and thinking 'Oh, he/she's chubby', or 'Oh, he/she is not somebody I'd want a relationship with', I'm talking about about seeing that somebody is overweight and dismissing that person as a human being and as somebody that should be treated with the same respect as everybody else.
Click to expand...

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that you thought that, I just... think that it is used often as a self-defence mechanism. Which I totally get, I do it too :) I just dislike it about myself.

I completely agree with the judging peoples like... how much they are in control of their life or... how clever they are or.. whatever.. by their weight is hmm.. well shallow.. also it is irrational and somewhat retarded. But I'm sure I do it too unfortunately.
 
Here is a question...

What is a "shallow" person to do if they can't "see past the weight"?

1.) Is it right for us to say that they should stay in a relationship (with a lover or friend) if they are unhappy? Maybe this way the overweight person will never be as happy as they could be with someone who would appreciate them more....idk

2.) Or is it better that they take their leave and find someone that they feel suits them more? This may leave the overweight person unhappy and insulted (unless they don't care) and also the "shallow" person may never realize that weight doesn't matter and that person was a diamond in the rough and the best thing that ever happened to them....

3.) Counseling

Or there could be a whole bunch of other options for a variety of situations like this...

I'm sure there are some "shallow" people on this site. Even ones who are overweight themselves.
What do you think they should do in a case like this?

Either way I think someone will be unhappy but what is the better course of action? You can't always tell someone to "stop being shallow". lol They are a shallow person... and it's not always going to change because we think it should. lol
 
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Emerald said:
Here is a question...

What is a "shallow" person to do if they can't "see past the weight"?
Click to expand...

Admit that they're shallow and move on with their life.

Shallow people are going to be shallow until they decide not to be. Counseling or therapy won't do them any good, because you can't get help unless you want it. And, if you can't admit (or even just realize) that you're shallow, then you aren't going to want help...because you don't think that you need it.

So, if a person is shallow, they just need to admit, "Hey, yeah...I'm shallow", so we can all just move on with our lives.
 
Mind over matter.
The people that mind....don't matter
and the people that matter....won't mind.

Try and put to one side our own judgements on what we think (mindread) other people are saying about us. We cannot do their thinking for them, so why spend energy worrying about that.
Neither can we know what they have gone through or are currently experiencing that is causing them to react the way they do.
What actually matters is what you are saying to yourself inside your head. So forgive those other people and let them go.

Peace of mind and removal of stress will benefit you on your way to your successful weight targets. I wish you success.
 
I agree. The person that can't see past the weight may never change.

"Forgive them and let them go"
 
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