NewLeaf said:
But remember.. we've gotta have some reason behind it.
I totally agree... I guess I'm hoping that book might help me figure that out.
So far today this is what I've eaten:
Three eggs with ICBINB and a glass of milk (didn't have any yogurt at home)
Snack was an apple and a protein shake
Lunch was tuna with mayo and wheat thins
I'm now due for a snack and I don't know what I'll eat yet... something to go with my protein shake but I don't have any artichokes.
EDIT: So it was fritos or tuna and wheat thins again so I took the tuna and wheat thins. So far, I've done really well. The kid who gives us free pizza for tans just came in but I didn't ask for pizza... just gave him his free tan for the day.
So far today what I've WANTED to eat:
Goldfish crackers and fruit snacks (just because they're there)
Yogurt from McD's (don't know where that one came from)
Fudge striped cookies (Josh had some)
Sunflower seeds (eating those now just because)
One of those slushy fruit drinks from Taco Time (don't know where that came from either, just popped into my head)
Pizza (just cuz the pizza boy came in)
Have you seen the Popeye cartoon where Whimpy sees everyone as hamburgers? I think everyone and everything remind me of food!
THIS POST IS VERY LONG SO DON'T FEEL OBLIGATED TO READ IT... JUST THOUGHT IT MIGHT HELP ME TO GET IT OUT.
So I'm borrowing a post from NewLeaf's Diary. I don't think people understand that Compulsive Overeating is really an eating disorder. After all, we're not starving ourselves and we're not throwing up so what's the big deal? Well the big deal is that food controls our lives and we will do very extreme things to eat it. I, like Dana, get the candy bar at the grocery store and eat it before I get home or get the fast food and eat it when I'm alone so no one will know. I often finish my kids plates for them without thinking twice about it. If I get into my car, I immediately start thinking of all the places I could stop to eat. Something sitting in the fridge, freezer, pantry, where ever, will call at me constantly until I eat it. It's like the only way to "silence" the food is to eat it! And I can literally eat all day, until I feel sick and yet still continue to stuff my mouth! I really thought I had it under control but it's like any other addiction I think, once you've been addicted, the ability to fall back into the addiction is always there. So because I "fell off the wagon", I'm essentially "detoxing" again. I want to eat everything on the planet the same way an alcoholic "has" to have a drink... but I won't. I only have 2 1/2 days until my cheat day and I WILL GET THERE! And I will get to a point where I'm satisfied eating right during the week and allowing the cheats on the weekend.
Anyway, here's Dana's (Newleaf) post (thanks Dana):
Ok.. so this is for Paula. I wanted to share with her, my ultimate confessions of food sin. Well at least those that I can think of right now!! Partly this is just an idea that stems from the book "It was Food Vs. Me..and I Won" but, I also hope that if I have the courage to share this, others will too!
I used to to be a day-care provider in my sisters in-house day care center of twelve kids. We kept after-lunch snacks for them there. Gummi bears, sweet tarts, etc. During their nap our I'd have down time. If I was alone, I'd munch on those all the time. Sneaking here and there. I wasn't hungry. I just wanted them!
If I was dying to have ice cream, or something fattening, and it wasn't in my house because I was trying to eat healthy. I'd drive out to get it. NO matter how late. I'd go to Burger King or the 24 Grocery store and pick it up.
I would eat because I wanted to. I was not hungry. I would eat when my stomach hurt, I would eat when I was so full I could of thrown up. I would eat because it was there. I would eat left over donuts the kids had at breakfast, half eaten on their plates. I don't recall doing it, but I wouldn't even put it past me of picking it up out of the garbage.
Even worse.. Living with my fiance for the past year and half. Going to go on my binges is not so easy. I still manage them. I'd look forward to when he was going to be late at work sometimes, because it meant I could binge on the left over ice cream in the fridge. I would buy a candy bar at the end of my grocery shopping trip so I could down it in the car and hide the wrapper before I got home. I'd buy a regular soda on the outing because he wouldn't be there to give a disapproving look. I run to starbucks, after I drop him off at work, and..don't bother to mention it to him, because I want to indulge in a fattening 500 calorie scone or muffin. I'd pack a lunch, so he wouldn't know that I was going to hit McDonalds or some other fast food joint on my break to eat instead.
Don't get me wrong..its not like he, or my mother in the past, would scream or shreik or even scold me for these bad habits. That's not why I hide or hid them from them. I did because if I had to own up to them, I have to own up to ME. And that's the hardest part... but c'mon now. When you're hiding food from people, uh, lets see.. THERE IS A PROBLEM! But its a one day at a time process...and each day I get a better grip. I hold on a little longer than the day before..and I'll get this.. and so will all of you..
So I share now.. just to, let anyone else who secretly does this.. know that they're not alone!! 
