Othie's Diary (I think I can, I think I can)

othie

New member
Tomorrow will be my fist official day. Tomorrow I'm meeting with a personal trainer at the gym to help me figure out just what I should be done there. They will also weight and measure me (and probably find me wanting ^_~).

So today I took before pictures. After looking at them I'm afraid I weight more then I thought. It's been a while since I've weighted myself, but now I'm thinking I'm closer to 300 lbs.

Ideally I would like to be 160 (maybe it should be lower, but right now that would be like a dream) however that would probably take years, so for the short term I would like to drop two dress sizes.

I think I'll hold off on the rest until I talk to the trainer tomorrow.
 
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Good for you for starting a diary. It really helps to keep me on track when I have a place to go to talk about what I'm doing.

I hope your meeting with the trainer goes well tomorrow. :)
 
thanks guys

well I'm depressed now. I went to gym and got my numbers. Yeah I was waay off, but atleast I know where I'm starting I guess...

Starting weight: 312 lbs
height: 5"4'
Blood pressure: 131/69
waist: 60"
hips: 65"
thighs R/L: 29.5"/30"
Arms R/L: 20"/20"

Of course today my mother decided she wanted to treat me, and I just couldn't say no. So I had a chicken sandwitch and a big icecream before class. I need to figure out something to eat between classes. I leave for my first class at 2ish and I'm gone until 10 at night and I have no way of keeping anything cool....there has to be something I can use without going out to eat each time...
 
Now you have accurate numbers with some effort and dedication you can start making improvements. You don't have to cut ice cream etc. out of your diet, just make sure to only have it in moderation as a treat and special occasions.
 
Of course today my mother decided she wanted to treat me, and I just couldn't say no.
Why not? Why couldn't you ask your mom for a healthy treat? Why did you have to eat icecream as well as a sandwich? :)

I don't ask those questions to be mean or rude, but to point something out: You are living your life. Life is full of those "I couldn't say no" moments. But those people who lose weight and keep it off LEARN TO SAY NO. :D

It's hard sometimes. Yeah, I want to go out to the pub with my girlfriend and split a plate (or two) of blue cheese chips. I want a burger dripping with cheese and bacon. I want the double chocolate fudge chunk ice cream from Ben & Jerry's. And when my guy offers to take me out for a "treat" ... I want to say yes. But I don't. I say "Aw baby you're sweet to offer, but I can't this week."

If I do *have* to go out (for an office get together or something like that where i have no choice) I make HEALTHY choices. I have the chicken sandwich - with only one piece of bread/bun. I skip the ice cream. I ask for more tomatoes and lettuce. That kind of thing.

Like the person above said, you don't have to give up ice cream all the time. But you do have to lose the mindset that you can't say "no" when you need to.

Why am I so vehement about this? Because really what you're doing when you say "I can't say no" is push the responsibility off on someone else. If they "made" you ... then obviously you're not failing at your diet. Someone forced you ... because you couldn't say no. So you don't have to take responsibility for the choices you made. It becomes "not my fault".

Losing weight is as much mental as anything else and taking responsibility for your own actions and thoughts is vital. You chose to have a chicken sandwich and ice cream. You chose to say "yes". And you can equally choose to say "no". You can always say no. Even to your mom. And you're going to have to, in order to be successful.

Again, I am not saying this to be harsh. I ate myself up to 250 lbs with the "I can't say no" mindset. It's Christmas - I can't say no. My family is in town - I can't say no. It's the office party - I can't say no. My husband really wanted to do something special for me - I can't say no. And I did that until I weighed 100 lbs more than I should.

It requires rethinking lots of things and I'll be honest - for me the mental part was SO much harder than the physical. Always has been and always will be. But it's SO worth it. :)

You can do it.
 
Day 2

KaraCooks, your right, I shouldn't make excuses. I've always had issues saying no, its one of the things I need to work on, that and talking myself into thinking I like veggies.

Anyways, to try and start the day out right...

I woke up at about 12:30 (didn't fall asleep until around 5:30 this morning, I love night classes, so wonderful for a nightowl like me)

I had a bowl of cereal - honey oat something :p

Goal for today, get atleast half way done with english paper for monday, draw atleast two stretches for art class and walk the dog, marking how far I get so I can try and do better next time.
 
Oh I'm with you ... I'm such a night owl. When I was working full time for myself, I'd often work until 3 in the morning or so and then sleep until 10 or 11. That's an ideal schedule for me! :)
 
I am so pleased that you are joining my challenge. I have come down from a similar weight. I was a few pounds lighter at my heaviest - but not many and I am shorter than you (5ft3).

You have to really believe that it is all possible. I can say this because for a long time I didnt really believe it - and that worked against me.

I did (and still do) a lot of walking as my main form of exercise. People said to me that you had to walk briskly for it to be of benefit - but that proved not to be the case. At my biggest I couldnt do anything briskly. I did find that I was able to walk further and I did find that I was able to walk faster. The main thing was that I went out for a walk every day. Now I am pretty fast!

Food control is important too - but exercise was vital. I dont get time to get around to visiting diaries much at all these days - not even my own - but if you have any issues about a long term project there are lots of us here that know what it is like. Feel free to get in touch in the chat thread and ask questions or voice concerns.
 
Day 2 part 2

Thanks Omega! I'm hoping it will help keep me on trace, though honestly I dont think I've ever had a full five in one day, but nows as good a time as ever.

had a piece of pizza, three twizzlers, and a cup of green beans

Goals: wrote 4 pages on the English paper but found out that the book I was getting half my info from was questionable, so I'm back down to 3 pages. So english goal only half way met. Drew one drawing, so drawing also half way met. Walked the dog, so that atleast was finished fully.
 
Day 3

Well today wasn't the best day, but it wasn't the worse either.

for breakfast I had a bowl of cereal, then I had two snacks, one of carrots, and one apple, for dinner I had a hotdog and a cup of green beans. So I didn't quiet hit the 5 veggies and fruit a day goal, but I did alot better then I usually do. I also nibbled on peanuts from time to time.

As far as goals go I got 3 drawings done, just 5 more to go. Walked the dog, only lasted about 15 mins, but atleast I got out there, and I worked on the paper for English.
 
Day 3 part 2

Sometimes not being able to sleep is a good thing.

I went for another walk and the cutest thing happened, my cat followed me the whole way.

I also was able to eat two more helpings of veggies, carrots and snowpeas. I have to say, snowpeas are not my favorite, it felt like eating a leaf.....but the carrots were good. I'm just glad I was able to hit the 5 serving goal.
 
Eh .. I"m not a big fan of snowpeas just plain. I like them sauteed in a stir fry, though. Have you ever eaten edamame? It's one of my favorite snacks. You can usually get them in the frozen food section of the grocery store ... just microwave them for a couple of mins and sprinkle on some sea salt. Really yummy and good for you.
 
Eh .. I"m not a big fan of snowpeas just plain. I like them sauteed in a stir fry, though. Have you ever eaten edamame? It's one of my favorite snacks. You can usually get them in the frozen food section of the grocery store ... just microwave them for a couple of mins and sprinkle on some sea salt. Really yummy and good for you.

Thanks KaraCooks! I'm headed to the store in the next couple of days, is there anything else you suggest? A few things of note: I live in southern Utah, in the summer its almost always high 90s or low 100s, so I'm trying to stay away from the stove or anything else that would heat up the house. The other thing is one of the reasons I'm trying so hard with this is I'm trying to get my mom to join me. She's diabetic and very stubborn on changing her eating or working out, so any snacks that are good for that are a plus.

Sorry if this is to much to ask, if so just say so, it's just nice to have suggestions like this.
 
Oh no problem. I'm happy to make suggestions.

This time of year I don't want to cook much either - it makes the house so hot. I tend to grill a lot in the summer to keep the heat outside. :) I live in Georgia and so I totally understand the heat and humidity thing.

Let's see ... I just got back from the grocery store and here's what I bought for snacks for this week.

Grapes - I love them plain, but in the summer I LOVE frozen grapes. Just wash and dry a handful and throw them in the freezer in a plastic container or a ziploc bag. They're soooo good when you're really hot. They're also good thrown in drinks in place of ice ... and then you can eat them after you finish your drink. :)

Watermelon - I could eat an entire watermelon by myself. Another thing you can do with watermelon (and this sounds weird, but you GOTTA try it) is cut up your watermelon in bite sized pieces and mix it with crumbles of feta cheese. The feta is a really salty cheese with a tangy flavor and when you mix the sweetness of the watermelon and the salty/tangyness of the feta, it's so good. Chill it well and then serve it with just a sprinkle of pepper.

Radishes - I am a HUGE radish fan and they're at the best in the summer. I could just sit and eat them whole, washed and sprinkled with a little salt. But another really great way to eat them is to slice them as thin as you can, sprinkle them with a little pepper and use them to top crackers and cheese. I will spread some laughing cow cheese (it's the only low fat type of cheese that I like) on a wasa cracker and then put a whole bunch of thinly sliced radish over the top. They add a crispy crunchy spiciness that I love.

Grape tomatoes - especially if you can get them from a farmers market, but even the grocery store ones are pretty good in the summer. I don't like the "pop" when I bite into them whole (I'm weird that way) but I will cut a bunch of them in half, drizzle with a little olive oil, and sprinkle with salt and pepper ... so good.

On the same note, you can make a sort of caprese salad with grape tomatoes: cut them in 1/4s, and toss them with some basil and some shredded mozzarella (or chopped fresh moz if you can get it at your grocery store - it's so much better than the shredded kind). Drizzle a little olive oil over and sprinkle with salt and pepper. A tiny drizzle of balsamic vinegar is yummy on it too. This is my favorite ever summer salad.

And .. have you ever eaten gazpacho? It's a cold, raw veggie soup that is to DIE for on a hot summer day. If you have a food processor or a blender, it's super easy to make. The basis of it is 1 regular tomato (or 2 of the smaller vine tomatoes), about 1/4 red onion, 1 cucumber (peeled and seeded), 1 clove of garlic, some olive oil, a splash of hot sauce, some vinegar, and some tomato juice or V8. Whirl all of that in the food processor or blender until it's chunky, then refrigerate it for at least a couple of hours (or even better, overnight). Serve it with a piece of crusty bread and a couple of slices of avocado or a dollop of sour cream. You can add whatever other veggies you think might be good ... I've added zucchini, bell pepper, red pepper, jicama, all kinds of other stuff.

That's what I can think of off the top of my head ... but if I come up with anything else, I'll post it. :)
 
Thanks KaraCooks, thats a huge help! I can't wait to try the grapes for ice cubes, such a fun idea.

Lets see, for today I woke up alot later then I meant to, so instead of breakfast, I had a couple handfulls of peanuts. A couple hours later I went out to eat with my mother. I ordered a club without tomatoes. This sounds like a normal thing, but I'm rather happy with it because for the last 10 years I was sure that I HATED lettuce, so ordering and eating a sandwich with it was kind of a big deal for me. And you know? it wasn't half as bad as I remember it being. Aside from that, I have been snacking on grapes, carrots and an apple all night.

I finally finished my paper for class, now I just need to go over it and proof read and it will be ready to go. I also finished three for drawings, just two more. I also got in a walk with the dog, the poor girl thinks she went to heaven, she's not used to walking everyday like this.

so all in all, its been a good day.
 
Hi Othie, I totally understand how it feels when you get the 'real' numbers' of weight and measurements and find out that they were way different than what you figured. I remember when my doctor told me i was over 350lbs... it was overwhelming yet not surprising. I have been struggling to keep on a regime and I also easily get persuaded to have "treats" like ice cream and such. You have come to a great place for support, and now is the time to teach yourself what good healthy choices are all about. THEN...the fun part is... believing YOU are worth it.
*because YOU are!* :D
 
Welcome, othie, and congrats on both taking steps to change your life, and starting a journal. Many people around here find them incredibly helpful.

Tomorrow will be my fist official day. Tomorrow I'm meeting with a personal trainer at the gym to help me figure out just what I should be done there. They will also weight and measure me (and probably find me wanting ^_~).

But, as you know, you can change your stars! :)

I also was able to eat two more helpings of veggies, carrots and snowpeas. I have to say, snowpeas are not my favorite, it felt like eating a leaf.....but the carrots were good. I'm just glad I was able to hit the 5 serving goal.

I love snowpeas, but I only really like them raw. Even lightly steamed or in a stir-fry, not so much. Everyone is different, hey?

I wish you success in reaching your goals. Glad that you have joined us in the challenge!
If you need any help, advice, or whatever, just ask.
 
Day 5

Thank you Cord and Brazen. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's seem that movie lol I was starting to feel old. Careful Cord I might just take you up on the advise one of these days.

Well for today I have some cereal, three cucumbers and some peanuts. I haven't gone for a walk yet, but I usually walk in the evening after it cools down. I did finishing my drawings finally, not bad, 8 drawings in four days. That will teach me to put things off until the last moment.
 
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