One Last Chance

xorie

xorie

New member
I found this website when I was sixteen, and 235 lbs. Currently, I am 20 years old, and according to the scale, am now at 247 lbs.

Two hundred and forty seven pounds....

If that isn't a wake up call, I don't know what is.

I've come to realize that I have put myself into this rut. Currently, I work at a few private barns, working with horses, and do what I love. However, the whole picture is not yet complete. I would love to actually RIDE the horses I love and take care of. It isn't that I don't have permission, but rather, I am too heavy for the Arabians that I care for. Now instead of me riding, I bring my younger sister up, along with her friends, and give her riding lessons.

I tell myself that I enjoy teaching more than I enjoy riding, but today, I got on a larger horse who could easily support my weight and I realized that I was lying to myself. I love riding, but because I'm so heavy, I can not ride most of the horses. Also, because I weigh so much, I'm afraid that if I fall, I will seriously hurt myself, and it scares me so much that now I don't even want to ride the horses that I can ride.

I've realized that while I hate people who always give excuses, that I'm being a hypocrite. I give myself excuses all the time as to why I'm the way I am. "Oh, my mom's side of the family is heavy, I've just got her genes." And other things along those lines.

What I want to do is basically give myself a swift kick in the pants. I did this to myself, no one else. And the only person who can change that is me.

It is a dream of mine to compete in dressage, however, EVERY book I've read, every video I've watched states that in order for you to really ride, you have to be fit. When your body isn't fit, you can't balance as well, you can't control it as well, and the overall effort is lessened.

Its my time now, and this time, I desperately want to make it work.
 
Having a goal like wanting to ride the horses you care for will be hugely motivational. If you can keep riding the larger horse maybe it'll give you the incentive you need to ride the smaller ones...

you can do it... look at all the others here that are achieving their goals.

The diary is the first step, as trusylver says what is your plan?

Ana
 
thanks everyone.

So far my plan of attack is to reduce intake, and exercise more, moving towards healthier foods, and altogether better everything for myself.

I'll keep riding Lily and Geronimo, so that I can keep my skills up so that when I'm finally there, I can ride Jade, this older beautiful sweet white Arab that I love. :)

Wish me luck for day one back on track. *crosses fingers*
 
hi xorie :)

What an honest diary - it is so difficult when that wake up call happens. We have very similar start weights and goal weights so i know exactly what you are going through! Last year I weighed 248 and lost a whole load...only to put it all on again! I have lost a bit over the last few months but that was more to do with luck rather than effort!

I know that soon you will be so happy that you have made the choice to be healthier and ride all those horses again! Well done for getting back on track :)

sam xx
 
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skinnywishes said:
hi xorie :)

What an honest diary - it is so difficult when that wake up call happens. We have very similar start weights and goal weights so i know exactly what you are going through! Last year I weighed 248 and lost a whole load...only to put it all on again! I have lost a bit over the last few months but that was more to do with luck rather than effort!

I know that soon you will be so happy that you have made the choice to be healthier and ride all those horses again! Well done for getting back on track :)

sam xx
Click to expand...

Thanks :) and about being honest, if I start lying to myself...I'm lost, so I'm trying to keep it real, and just put down what goes through my head. :)

As for today, I watched what I ate, nothing too bad, kept under my calorie limit, and worked my tush off. Cleaned about 29 stalls, ran the wheelbarrow up a giant ass hill, and then rode Lily for half and hour. :) It was good. Going to work as hard as I can tomorrow to be just as good, plus spend a good amount of time on my stationary bike which I pulled out of the shed. :) (a good place for it i know... ) Going to buy a new book, and read while riding. :)
 
Hey Xorie this is a great step to weight loss. You can do it!! =) weight loss is a process and it takes time like anything else. Slow and steady wins the race. Make small changes and make em premanent. Keep updating here, so you have a sense of accountablity!
 
Ok, I'm off to ride the bike. :) Trying to post as often as I can, because i was just going to go sit on the couch and watch tv, but logged on and saw the forum, and said, "No, get your ass on the bike!" So I am. :)
 
You can do it! Its good to have a goal for your weight loss other than a number on the scale or to look better. Horses are awesome!
My motivation is to be able to do pole dance without worrying about the pole falling over and going through a wall. lol
 
oh my god... i just did half an hour on the bike, and my butt hurts so bad it's rediculus... i guess that shows me how much OUT of shape I am... though, I think that part of my soreness comes from riding yesterday... my bum was a little sore this morning, but still, I shouldn't be THIS sore...

Gonna do it again tonight too, but not as hard. maybe just bike a few miles.

Also, I'm upping my water intake, I think I haven't been drinking nearly enough water...whoops:)
 
well tonight was an adventure.

Spent an hour wrestling with a stallion and his daughter. (Mac and Molly) They were getting their feet trimmed, and well both put up a bit of a stink. Molly we expect it from, as she's a brat. (but a sweet one! :)) But Mac usually has better manners! Took a lot of energy from me though!.

Cleaned a bunch of stalls, and about cried when I had to push the wheelbarrow up the hill. My buttocks hurt sooooo bad. But in a good way! :)

Ate too much at lunch, but behaved myself at dinner. Hoping for at least a 5lbs loss this week, weigh in on Tuesday.
 
behaved for breakfast, about to head out to play with my ponies. :) And clean a bunch of stalls. yay...lol

And it's gorgeous out, and only about 65 degrees. Thats what I classify as a PERFECT day. :)
 
Well did well again today...its funny though...

I've had a head cold for a while, and I aboslutely can NOT stand not being able to breath through my nose, so I got one of those nasal decongestant sprays and used it. It totally killed my tastebuds. I couldn't taste anything at all! I could barely tell if something was sweet, or if it was salty or bitter, but that's about it. My coffee? Easily couldve been water, and I wouldn't have noticed! I had dinner, but because I couldn't really taste it, I finished when I was full, rather than eating everything because I liked how it tasted. It was interesting in the fact that I ate a whole lot less then if I had been able to taste it. (baked potatoes are a weakness of mine! :))

Anyway, behaved today, and did some very physical stuff. I had to move and stack hay bales. Three string bales to be exact, each weighing about 130-150lbs each. Thank god most of it was done by the tractor!

Then I rode, and while my legs are sore, I'm feeling better about myself. Knowing that I'm doing something good for myself is really helping in my self confidence. now if I can only keep that up! :)

Weigh in tomorrow. Wish me luck. :)
 
So I got on the scale today....

242!!!!!!!!

5lbs! Woot! :)

That just bolsters me to keep doing well. :) And now my goal is under 100lbs to lose. Next goal, get it down to 90lbs to lose. :)
 
Just got back from a 3 mile walk with my parents and my dog. Its a gorgeous day out, and then afterwards, we stopped at subway. I controlled myself, got a 6"inch turkey instead of a footlong, had the healthier lower sodium chips, and filled my cup with ice before putting the soda in. :) All in all, a good thing. ;)

Hope everyone had a great weekend!
 
...ok, so I had a horrible day today foodwise...

Acknowledged, and now I'm moving on. Will do better tomorrow. And going to workout for at least 45 min on bike too. :)
 
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