Once a Fat Man......but NEVER again.

It's good that you are taking the time to pause and realize all of this now. So many people gain their weight back because they lose sight of what needs to be done after accomplishing so much. And you have accomplished a lot. Remembering that your strength and determination got you to where you are right now is key. Once you set your sights firmly on another goal, it is your strength and determination that will help push you along. We all wax and wane on this journey, whether it be with weight loss, strengthening, whatever. You really have to remember that you are successful and that you have the power in you to succeed even further.

One thing that you can certainly be proud of is the fact that because you worked so hard to change your habits and lifestyle, your son will be healthier for it. He will follow the example of his daddy and eat healthier than a lot of kids do. With the knowledge you have gained along this road your son will not learn the unhealthy habits that some of us learned as children. Hopefully, because of your good influence he will not have to suffer with weight the way most of us on this forum have.

Oh, and what Mal said . . . :p
 
Brian, I just want to chime in here. I remember you writing something about 225 this month, last month, the month before, and so on. Remember that? Now you are writing 214 and stagnant. Sure there is portion control issues. Who doesn't have them from time to time. But the real thing is your activity level. Keep that up, concentrate on building some muscle, the rest will fall into place. Think about the people who are muscled up and eating 3000-4000 cal a day to keep up with the activity levels. Portion control is good, but only to the extent of not hampering your progress.

Don't worry, brother. You're doing better then you think.
 
Bigguy said:
I mean- youve gotten discouraged and pissed at the stagnant times right? I know that this is a bit o the pity party but....
Sometimes you need to look from the outside in and figure out some things.
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my life is one giant pity party :) it's no fun place to be... so I help other people turn theirs into fun parties :)

I meant nothing by my comment - just being my usual self :)

you've accomplished a lot... and the weight is the least of it - look how far you've come fitness wise... that's way way WAY more important that what you weigh... Take your accomplishments and keep going forward :)
 
Oh, yeah, it's so much easier to see the accomplishments of others rather then your own. That's what friends are for. :D
 
about2loseit said:
One thing that you can certainly be proud of is the fact that because you worked so hard to change your habits and lifestyle, your son will be healthier for it. He will follow the example of his daddy and eat healthier than a lot of kids do. With the knowledge you have gained along this road your son will not learn the unhealthy habits that some of us learned as children. Hopefully, because of your good influence he will not have to suffer with weight the way most of us on this forum have.

Oh, and what Mal said . . . :p
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Thanks Angela.
I just hate that i stall like this form time to time and sometimes just need to place some shit out to see where I have come from.
This was not designed to be a whiny, woe is me type of post but more a realization to myself of where i have come.
 
Trops said:
Oh, yeah, it's so much easier to see the accomplishments of others rather then your own. That's what friends are for. :D
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I completely agree with that.
I honestly feel from time to time that I have not accomplished jack shit. I know somewhere deep down I know I am doing something but I just hate that it is a struggle all the damn time.
 
maleficent said:
I meant nothing by my comment - just being my usual self :)
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I know this Mal- and thanks
maleficent said:
you've accomplished a lot... and the weight is the least of it - look how far you've come fitness wise... that's way way WAY more important that what you weigh... Take your accomplishments and keep going forward :)
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I know this too. but sometimes you just need shit pointed out to you again and again.
I have found a hammer is the best way to get through to me sometimes....
 
Bigguy said:
I honestly feel from time to time that I have not accomplished jack shit.
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Put a before picture of yourself on your bathroom mirror... :)


Bigguy said:
I know somewhere deep down I know I am doing something but I just hate that it is a struggle all the damn time.
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Why is it a struggle all the time.. are the expections that you've set for yourself realistic or is what you're doing to stay on track - do-able for the long term?

The rest of your life is a long time...
 
I have often found that a brick works too sometimes...cinderblock could work in a pinch too.

Part of what you need to recognize (and I think that for overweight people who may or may not have confidence issues this is harder) is that you have accomplished a lot more than the average bear. You (and especially you) have lost a significant amount of weight in a relatively short amount of time - and have been sucessful in keeping it off through two 'plateaus' or 'stalls'. For people that have spent years fighing the fat war, this is an amazingly huge accomplishment. You need to recognize that you have done something that most people cannot do.

It would seem from a reading of your post that you already know what the problem is, your issue seems to be with figuring out what to do about it now that you know what the problem is.

Tis hard as shit as you know - it is one thing to know what you are doing wrong and another to pull the solution together. This isn't a race and the time you are spending stalled is showing you that you know how to maintain your weight, which, as you know, is what you will be doing for the rest of your life. That in an of itself is a valuable lesson.

It will always be a struggle for me and it may always be a struggle for you too - most likely for similar reasons, we like to eat too much. I hate that it is how it is but am trying to accept it or I am going to spend the rest of my years pissed off.

Hate it but use that agita to drive you to do what you need to do to see this fucking thing through to the end. I know that you have it in you and that you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

I, for one, am so proud of you for where you were, where you have come and where you are going.

*steps off soap box, curtsies for brian and exits stage left*
 
maleficent said:
Why is it a struggle all the time
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I am not brian (clearly I am missing some of the necessary equipment) but for me, I think it is a struggle b/t what you want and what you know you should have. Even through losing all my weight, I still crave shit that I shouldn't have or amounts of food that do me no good. I personally wish I could have a take it or leave it approach to eating but I don't, hence the struggle. I simply like to eat too much. Given that background I am not sure some days how I have lost anything but the fact that I have (and brian has) shows that you can win the battles, it is just an ongoing war that we deal with.
 
maleficent said:
Why is it a struggle all the time.. are the expections that you've set for yourself realistic or is what you're doing to stay on track - do-able for the long term?
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It is a sturuggle simply because i like food too damn much. I like to eat. I did not get fat for any other reason other than I ate too much.

I do not feel like I am getting enough food. I honestly do not deprive myself of much- if I want it I eat it, in a controlled quantity- but I simply feel hungry a lot.

I honestly feel i am realistic in my expectations. I honestly feel that i am doing a doable long term solution.
 
ali said:
Part of what you need to recognize (and I think that for overweight people who may or may not have confidence issues this is harder) is that you have accomplished a lot more than the average bear. You (and especially you) have lost a significant amount of weight in a relatively short amount of time - and have been sucessful in keeping it off through two 'plateaus' or 'stalls'. For people that have spent years fighing the fat war, this is an amazingly huge accomplishment. You need to recognize that you have done something that most people cannot do.
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see, I am aware of this but I still do not think that i have done well. It is the stalls that frustrate the hell out of me. Why cant I just lose the fucking weight?

ali said:
It would seem from a reading of your post that you already know what the problem is, your issue seems to be with figuring out what to do about it now that you know what the problem is.
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duh :D

ali said:
Tis hard as shit as you know - it is one thing to know what you are doing wrong and another to pull the solution together. This isn't a race and the time you are spending stalled is showing you that you know how to maintain your weight, which, as you know, is what you will be doing for the rest of your life. That in an of itself is a valuable lesson.
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I do hear what you are saying but unfortunately i do see it as kind of a race. Once Erin gives birth I do not know how much time I will have to go whole hog like I have been. I will be able to work out a couple times a week but with an infant I do not know how much time i will have. I really thought i would have been at goal by now.
ali said:
It will always be a struggle for me and it may always be a struggle for you too - most likely for similar reasons, we like to eat too much. I hate that it is how it is but am trying to accept it or I am going to spend the rest of my years pissed off.

Hate it but use that agita to drive you to do what you need to do to see this fucking thing through to the end. I know that you have it in you and that you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.
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i try.
But I aint as strong as some people think i am
but ty
 
Bigguy said:
see, I am aware of this but I still do not think that i have done well. It is the stalls that frustrate the hell out of me. Why cant I just lose the fucking weight?
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Why can't anyone just lose the fucking weight? Because it is a fight with your body and a fight with yourself. Ask anyone who has been successful in losing weight and I guarantee that they will agree with this. If it was that easy sweetheart, everyone would do it. Your body is not going to lose weight at this stage of the game the same way it did back in January (or even March/April). It becomes a harder fight, that's all. I know you like to eat and that portion sizes are an issue for you. I think that there is a solution out there that allows you to have the best of both worlds, it is just a matter of finding it.

You have done well. You need to recognize that what you have done is something special. It is, not many people have done what you have done to yourself. You have done extremely well. It has taken me almost two years to get to where I am. Hell it took me over a year just to get to below the 200 mark. I think you have accomplished so much since January, not just in the weight loss area but in the whole physical transformation you have given yourself.


Bigguy said:
duh :D
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duh you say? don't make me come out there mister... :D

Bigguy said:
I do hear what you are saying but unfortunately i do see it as kind of a race. Once Erin gives birth I do not know how much time I will have to go whole hog like I have been. I will be able to work out a couple times a week but with an infant I do not know how much time i will have. I really thought i would have been at goal by now.
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This is your way of life now. There is no need for it to be a race. I know that you are concerned about being able to work out, etc once the baby comes but I am telling you from personal experience that children are extremely adaptable. You will have more time than you think, you really will. Newborns do very little outside of eating, sleeping and pooping. This child will know whatever life you raise it in. For my daughter that includes being picked up at daycare and going right to the gym with me. I do my workout and she is in daycare and some nights we don't get home until 730 or later. Am I mom of the year? Hell no. Is my daughter learning the importance of sacrificing to achieve a goal. Hell yes. Is she irreparably harmed by a later dinnner. I would like to think not. She doesn't have the Donna Reed existance that some children have but I think she is learning some pretty imporant stuff.

Someone said to me once, what are you willing to sacrifice to reach your goal? Children become part of the routine, plain and simple. I am not telling you how to live your life but I would try to see how much you can keep it consistent by working the little one in. That will be the life he knows and I can't see him being harmed by it. He should be proud to have a dad who works so hard.

Bigguy said:
i try.
But I aint as strong as some people think i am
but ty
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You are stronger. You just need to believe it Brian. I do.
 
Ali- thanks for that.
I am not going to quote the whole shebang but I really do thank you for that.

I know I will need to try to adapt my lifestyle to my child's and that it will work.
Somedays I get frustrated with things, yesterday was one of those days.


Thanks to all who responded. I really appreciate the help that each one of you give to me during this.
Ill try not to whine anymore :D
 
whine away -it's your diary you can do whatever you want...

your thoughts for where you are at hte current time...

but I will always reserve the right to point out that your whining is misdirected, when it is .. :D When know it all like i do... ya know it's m y obligation :D
 
Bigguy said:
Ali- thanks for that.
I am not going to quote the whole shebang but I really do thank you for that.

I know I will need to try to adapt my lifestyle to my child's and that it will work.
Somedays I get frustrated with things, yesterday was one of those days.


Thanks to all who responded. I really appreciate the help that each one of you give to me during this.
Ill try not to whine anymore :D
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Not whining sweetie :) we all go through this at one time or another. That's why we are all here - to get each other through the shit. You are going to be fine, I know it. Thems is growin pains you are experiencing, it happens.

Regarding the adaptation comment, I meant more that you have the child adapt to your life moreso than the other way around (more of a melding let's say) but that's me. Like I said, I'm not winning mom o the year here :D it is just a philosophy I have adopted that keeps me sane (well sort of sane, anyway).
And Brian, you are so very welcome. :eek:)
 
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