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wonderwoman
Guest
oh yeah? whats it called, a divorce? ROFL!!!!!
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wonderwoman
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Christina said:
yikes christina! i'm sorry i ddint see this. the answer is diet green tea and willpower!
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wonderwoman
Guest
kccruz said:
well maybe if i had a JOB and i DIDNT have 3 kids i wouldnt feel so stuck that i couldnt do it.
That is one reason why I left my ex when I did......I didnt want to end up having kids..( making it harder to leave)...plus I did not want some alcoholic, narrow minded man " helping" me..( and I use that word losely) raise our children......Talk about a crappy father figure..he would have won first prize......
Not to get into your personal business.....but have ya tried counciling?....how long have you been married and how old are the kids?
Not to get into your personal business.....but have ya tried counciling?....how long have you been married and how old are the kids?
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SkinnySomewhere
New member
Lisa - How old are you kids? And for how long as this been going ? - not being happy with him and him not doing his share ... of course this is all personal and of COURSE feel free not to answer, I would in no way be offended! Have you 2 ever talked about like a trial seperation or couples therapy ? I'm sure it would be hard on the kids, but also what kind of role model is he for them comming home and doing nothing?
Christina1
New member
Willpower I am learning to have control of..... diet green tea~ I must get some!
I left my ex when I was 5 months preg.... It was very hard... He was no good from the begining but I THOUGHT I was stuck since I was preg w/ his child(2 mnths into the relationship).... But I got the strength when I cought him naked with another woman... thats when I left...
I dont know where I'd be if I would have forgiven him and stayed with him.
He was a terrible person to me, and wished for me and my baby to die while I was still preg...
He still calls (ALOT) and finally pays CS after 6 years... but I have a better life now, and am very happy with my decision...
I was lucky I found Phil when I was 7-8 months preg. Allyson did get the chance to grow up with a "Daddy"...
but I would of rather she had no daddy instead of my ex... He was not father material.. still isnt! now he thinks he can BUY he love...
ANYWAY... what I am trying to say, is that your children will still be happy as long as they have a strong Moma... THATS YOU!
I left my ex when I was 5 months preg.... It was very hard... He was no good from the begining but I THOUGHT I was stuck since I was preg w/ his child(2 mnths into the relationship).... But I got the strength when I cought him naked with another woman... thats when I left...
I dont know where I'd be if I would have forgiven him and stayed with him.
He was a terrible person to me, and wished for me and my baby to die while I was still preg...
He still calls (ALOT) and finally pays CS after 6 years... but I have a better life now, and am very happy with my decision...
I was lucky I found Phil when I was 7-8 months preg. Allyson did get the chance to grow up with a "Daddy"...
but I would of rather she had no daddy instead of my ex... He was not father material.. still isnt! now he thinks he can BUY he love...
ANYWAY... what I am trying to say, is that your children will still be happy as long as they have a strong Moma... THATS YOU!
Christina1
New member
where's the Tuna Recipe? can't find it...
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wonderwoman
Guest
kccruz said:
go figure, our insurance covers everything BUT counceling. he wont go anyway i asked. married nearly 7 yrs. son in kindergarten (5) and the twins are in preschool (4).
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wonderwoman
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Christina said:
thanks christina! the thing is, i'm on social security disability because of my MS and the kids get a little money each month too. if i left i'd have to leave the kids here. ther's no way hubby would leave and since i have no where to go, how can i seperate? its not like he beats me or anything, he's just the laziest most unloving uncaring husband i know. i figure i'm better off waiting til he kills himself with the way he smokes and eats. he is over 50 yrs old. he wasnt like this at all til after i became pregnant with the twins..then it was too late
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wonderwoman
Guest
newbride02 said:
hehe i wish! let the guys live together lol.
SkinnySomewhere
New member
I can imagine what a tough spot you're in ... that has got to be very hard on you when the man you fell in love with somehow managed to disappear over the years. You just have to be strong and do whatever you think is best for you. Of course, the best option would be to move out and seperate - but you're right ... then what. You can't leave your children and have no where to go. Just do what you think is the best for you and your babies rightnow ... and be strong. All of us are here to support you, and you too NewBride =) Sometimes some things in life do not go as planned ... actually nothing ever does! And things don't turn out the way we had imagined ... and that is hard to face. But you ladies are strong and I know will make the best of any situation you are facing.
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wonderwoman
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lol now i know why ellen is a lesbian. maybe i shoulda been one of those instead!
Korrie
Moderator
I don't mean to use up your diary here WW....I'll just respond and move on, lol
I choose to stay with my hubby b/c I do love him, not that i feel butterflies or anything exciting anymore. However, leaving will be harder than staying. Just in different ways. Instead of hearing him yell at me, I'll have bill collectors and babysitters to deal with. I just have had to accept how he is, and that I can't expect a thing from him, so I don't get upset. Sounds awful, but thats the way it is.
I choose to stay with my hubby b/c I do love him, not that i feel butterflies or anything exciting anymore. However, leaving will be harder than staying. Just in different ways. Instead of hearing him yell at me, I'll have bill collectors and babysitters to deal with. I just have had to accept how he is, and that I can't expect a thing from him, so I don't get upset. Sounds awful, but thats the way it is.
4me
New member
I'm sorry about your situation. Be strong and stay on your path. Most men are lazy, they need their Mom's to take care of them that's why they get married. You are the better person and everyone knows it. You never know how your life will turn out. I was in an abusive relationship and I thought that was how it was going to be, I accepted it. But then I left and 9 years ago met a wonderful man and he changed my life. I also didn't have kids so that made it easier. I feel for you (but not the way Ellen would )
Shelley
)Shelley
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wonderwoman
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newbride02 said:
oh NO!, your not using up my diary! in fact, im ashamed to say i have barely been responding and reading in others diaries like i should :::hangs head:::: feel free to read, post, heck even post to other people in my diary lol. i'm not using it much anyway lately except to bitch and moan hehe.
how long have you been married? it sounds like a long time, longer than my 7 yrs? (well almost)
i guess in a way, i still do love my DH. but the way he has changed, how he treats me, and his neglect has made me resent him. you say you just have to accept how he is? why, because the situation is hopeless? my only friend my best friend of the past 17 yrs says i LET him get lazy. but she's one of those "take charge" women that takes no sh%$t from anybody. (she's divorced btw)
i guess i'm just not one of those demanding wives that nags all the time and maybe thats where i went wrong? for instance, my husband doesnt have to "ask" my permission if he wants to go somewhere and i made that clear from the beginning. he actually said thats one of the reasons he married me. i told him as long as HE LETS ME KNOW so i dont think he's in the hospital emergency room or a car crash or something. but i also have that freedom so it goes both ways. all i want is a little freakin respect along the way!
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wonderwoman
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4me said:I'm sorry about your situation. Be strong and stay on your path. Most men are lazy, they need their Mom's to take care of them that's why they get married. You are the better person and everyone knows it. You never know how your life will turn out. I was in an abusive relationship and I thought that was how it was going to be, I accepted it. But then I left and 9 years ago met a wonderful man and he changed my life. I also didn't have kids so that made it easier. I feel for you (but not the way Ellen would
Shelley
i should have known better. this is a man who was a bachelor until 42 when he met me. he had his own apt. over the yrs living with buddies and girlfriends etc. but by the time i met him, he was back living at home with his parents. he bought his own house though a year before we were married. he wasnt used to that much responsibility and was pretty set in his ways by then. but still our first few yrs together were wonderful, how could i have known he would change forr the worse? he has never physically abused me, but i think if i was a much weaker person and if pushed hard enough - i wouldnt put it past him. he has punched many a hole in the wall, door, you name it. everytime he has a "tantrum" and breaks something, it stays broken. i feel guilty in a way, almost as if i have gotten the kids in this situation and now we are stuck. oh well, time to stop feeling sorry for myself. shame on me!
SkinnySomewhere
New member
Well ... first of all ... being a lesbian would ROCK! It would be SOOOO much easier! Girls can be bitchy but at least we understand one another!! and we are not lazyyyyy!!! Or as stubborn .... geeze. haha* the list goes on! I thinK Ellen is on to something ! lol
Be strong - hold your head high. You are never really stuck ... there always is a way out, it's just what options are there after you get out? You have to look at everything and if you do still love him, then there is a possibility. Have you ever talked to him about the possibility of a seperation or that you are unhappy? Is he the kind of guy who just needs a little hit of reality to get his a@s in gear?
Be strong - hold your head high. You are never really stuck ... there always is a way out, it's just what options are there after you get out? You have to look at everything and if you do still love him, then there is a possibility. Have you ever talked to him about the possibility of a seperation or that you are unhappy? Is he the kind of guy who just needs a little hit of reality to get his a@s in gear?
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