Nipping a Family Trend in the Bud

stephiebam

New member
Hello everyone. My name is Stephanie and I am a 19 year old college student. I decided to change my eating habits and to lose weight at the turn of the new year for several reasons. One reason is that I have been overweight for the majority of my life and do not remember what it was like to be in shape. Another reason is that I have a boyfriend now and I want him to see me healthy. The most important reason, however, is that I do not want to be like my mother and grandfather and suffer from the negative effects of obesity. My turning point was when I looked in the mirror and saw my mother standing in front of me. I knew at that moment that things had to change.

My mother is a beautiful woman, however, she is over 300 lbs and has health problems that are caused by her obesity. Her weight has been yo-yo-ing for years. At one point she weighed 400 lbs. Then she lost 245 lbs from Jenny Craig in 1998 and kept most of it off until around 2006. After that point, the weight came back rapidly. When my mom began to gain the weight back, she made me her partner in crime when it came to eating unhealthy foods just as she had once made me her exercise partner when she was living a healthier lifestyle. Thus, my weight has been yo-yo-ing as well. My grandfather, my mother's father, also struggled with his weight and developed type II diabetes. Because he did not control his diabetes, he suffered from kidney failure and had to have both of his legs amputated. He died when I was five.
When I stood in front of that mirror at 5'9 and 250 lbs, the most I have ever weighed in my entire life, I felt sick to my stomach. I knew that if I continued to follow in my mother and grandfather's footsteps, I would end up like them.

Ever since returning back to college, I have completely changed my eating and exercise habits. I have realized that at this point in my life, no one can be blamed for my obesity, but me. I let all of my friends know what I was doing so that they would guide me in the right path if I chose to eat something unhealthy. My dad and my friends have been really supportive of me. My mom, on the other hand, changes the topic or hangs up on me whenever I say anything about weight loss. I think that hearing about it makes her realize her own failures.

My goal at this point is to lose 50 lbs by the end of the year. So far I have lost 8 lbs in two weeks by simply drinking water or milk instead of soda or juice, snacking on fruits instead of candies or chips, and eating a salad or fruit with each meal, as well as exercising three times a week. So, that I won't ever feel deprived, I have allowed myself one dessert a day as well as one sweet drink. But I try not to "spend" those allowances too often. Even when I have dessert, I split it with my friends so that I only eat enough to satisfy the taste. As a result of my lifestyle change, I feel great and am excited to lose more weight! My only hope now is that I can inspire my mom to join me.
 
I calculate your BMI to be 36.9 which indicates that you are wise to be addressing this problem.

The actions that you have taken are a great start.

I suggest that you take up exercise again - just as you did last time in order to support your mother. An active lifestyle helps us to control our weight.

I also suggest that you log your food using a free account from . This not only shows you the calories - but also breaks down your food into the different nutrients that you are eating. If you read the nutrition section of the forum you can determine a number of nutritional targets and hone your food so that you hit those targets on a regular basis. This will allow you to optimise your food for both good health and effective weight loss...

Good luck with your project.
 
Update

I am excited to say that I have now lost a total of 17 lbs. I can definitely see and feel the difference! I have been getting so many compliments! Now my mom wants me to help her lose weight as well. Now my mom and I will work together in my quest to be 50lbs lighter by the end of 2010.
 
Welcome Stephie!

When I started to get in shape my family and friends were sometimes my best support or my worse enemy as well.

Unfortunately it's one of those things that just is in our society. There are always going to be those who support you and those who fight you. I have one client (now one of my best friends) who lost over 125 pounds but in the process she also lost a few friends who were not willing to go along with her and her new lifestyle.

not saying it's going to happen to you but just thought that it's worth mentioning. It's a bit of a myth that everyone in our society wants us to be thin and perfect. In truth there are many who will fight us every step of the way.

Okay, sorry just had to get that off my chest. :auto:

Anyway my tip for you is to seek some sort of progression in your weight loss. I don't mean that you always lose weight (I certainly hope so) but to seek progression in what you are doing. Every change we make will only carry us so far. So keep that food log and maybe a simple exercise diary and each week make a few changes here and there. it already sounds like you know what a good change is so I'll let you take it from here for a while but please E-mail me or chat me up if you have nay questions about what to do next :auto:
 
I encourage you in your goal of losing weight and maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle. The changes you make in pursuing your goal are lifelong changes in what you eat and how you exercise, not just a temporary diet and a number on a scale that you reach. I am doing my best to learn this and incorporate positive, permanent change into my diet, my thinking, relationships, and exercise activities.

I think sometimes we have an idea that being this perfect-bodied God or Goddess will solve all of our problems, and when we do reach that goal and find out that life is still not perfection, we rebound back to our old habits. I've watched my family members gain and lose a great deal of weight, because the changes they made were not maintained in their daily life after the goal was met.

Most of the women in my family are obese. My mother was 5'4" and around 235lbs. for many years. She lost a great deal of weight in the last 10 years of her life, but unfortunately died of breast cancer at age 65 last year. My eldest sister was near 400lbs at her heaviest (height 5'8"), and two more sisters, and my brother, too, have had weight problems. Cancer, diabetes, Graves Disease, senile dementia, high blood pressure, and depression are all in my family.

I believe that making healthy choices everyday will keep me from repeating these family traits, but I also had to get far away from my family and the place I was raised to even begin to live a healthy lifestyle. I can't say that this is true for everyone, as some families truly do get healthy and fit making changes together as a family unit.

I wish you and your mother success!
 
Stephie, your story is very inspirational and can fully understand your motives. Us here at the WLF encourage you to reach your goals and when that is accomplished DON'T STOP! I think one of the biggest reasons so many people are yo-yo's is b/c once they reach that goal they stop. Thinking..."I made it and now I don't have to do that anymore." Then before they know it, they are right back where they started if not worse off.

What works for me, is the old story of making small goals with one large goal in the distance and self rewards. In the past I used to make my reward a "sweet treat like ice cream or soda, but then I'd over do it and get a taste for that stuff again." Now my rewards are different. Not that I'm a materialistic person by no means, but I like to shop. Yes, a man that likes to shop. Or should I say a man that likes to spend money and get new toys. My reward when I reach under 200lbs might be new headphones for my Zune or a game for my PSP. Yes, that might be a lil more expensive then your $5.00 desert but it too will last for a long time. I definitely do not want that desert to stick around. In a sense I would have reached a goal yet failed myself at the same time. But remember this is just what works for me. Maybe it is something that you have thought about in the past, or something you can start today.

Since I have started my healthier lifestyle transformation, I have become much more "aware" of what I am putting in my stomach. But one of the biggest things I have taught myself, slips will come and go, but stay focused on that end goal (or mini-goals) and don't beat myself up if I miss a trip to the gym or get a taste for that treat.

Oh yeah, one last thing...don't take away what you desire most 100%, b/c it's way too easy to get depressed about not having it anymore and completely giving up.

Hope to hear back from you soon...and it would be great if you could post some of your progress pictures for inspiration to all. Nothing speaks louder then a picture for proof.

~Scott
 
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