Nidda's Diary

nidda.c

New member
How much weight do you want to lose?

I am 5 ft 4.5 in. and 270 lbs so Obesity Class 3 (BMI 45). I want to breakdown my goals into smaller chunks so my goals are to:
  1. Get to 234 lbs (Obesity Class 2 (BMI 35-39))
  2. Get to 204 lbs (Obesity Class I (BMI 30-34))
  3. Get to 174 lbs (Overweight (BMI 25-29))
  4. Get to 144 lbs (Normal Weight (BMI <25))
  5. Reduce my weight until I am a happy and healthy 114 lbs (BMI 18.5<)
Why do you want to lose weight?

As I stated in my introductory thread my goal is to get married and have a child before the age of 35. I am 32 right now so the window of opportunity is very tight.

What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?

I hope to get to at least a normal weight range in one year. So that is about 126 lbs down.

How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?
  • Intermittent fasting mostly with one meal a day as my goal, and no snacking.
  • Choice between: Eating out at a restaurant only once a month OR juice, pop, sugary and fried food once a month. It will be only at the last day of the month to limit over-indulgence.
  • Drinking more water.
  • Walking and 15 minutes of Pilates everyday.
What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss?

I don't have anyone to support me in real life. Everyone eats unhealthy or is not at the best health.
I live with my parents alongside other siblings as well. So for example, when I open the fridge I see cake. When I open the freezer I see ice cream. Our pantry usually has junk food.
At work the staff eats out at least once a week, and since I am an educator I stress eat a lot.
At home we usually make and eat a lot of refined carbs and processed foods.

How realistic is your goal?

It is possible. There are 52 weeks until July 7, 2022. If I work hard that is about 3 lbs per week.
And even if I lose only about 2 lbs per week that is down by 104 lbs.
So I guess my goal is to be about 144-166 lbs by July 7, 2022, and work on it from there.

Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
  • Low self-esteem.
  • Easy access to food - especially restaurants and grocery stores.
  • Rewiring of my brain to want greater levels of dopamine.
  • Stress eating.
  • Depression.
  • Hopelessness about life.
  • Hiding my food and binge eating in secret.
  • Juice.
 

nidda.c

New member
Positive Points:

I lost 2 lbs since I decided to start "water fasting." That is in quotations because it turned into one meal a day every day.
I have been drinking a lot of water nowadays though! :hurray:

Also, I was scared to try on some of my traditional clothes since I gained a whole bunch of lbs. Luckily I barely fit in two of them from the many I tried.

Negative Points:

I failed every day of water fasting :ambivalence: I really wanted to get to this magical phase of autophogy that all these doctors were talking about on Youtube. I also wanted to get anti-aging properties since I have huge eye bags and dark circles.
  • I caved the first day by eating Burger King.
  • I caved the second day by eating homemade barbeque.
  • The third day I gave up because we were going to my cousins house to say goodbye since she's moving to a different province.
  • The day after I caved my eating two plateful's of homemade spaghetti, which I made for the family. =____=
  • Today I caved again by eating some beef curry.
Coming Up On the Next Episode of Nidda's Life:

I decided to change my goal to One Meal a Day and continue drinking a lot of water like I was doing the previous days.

Tomorrow, I have a wedding function to go to, which I am not looking forward to because I have no self-control with food.
 

Cate

Support crew
Nidda, is it possible to see a nutritionist & get help with a healthy eating plan that you could learn to stick with & do this the healthy way? Would your family support you with this?
 

nidda.c

New member
Nidda, is it possible to see a nutritionist & get help with a healthy eating plan that you could learn to stick with & do this the healthy way? Would your family support you with this?

I checked out the Cohen's Lifestyle thing, and submitted an application. I think for now that would be good enough.
But, tbh I've never looked into a nutritionist because I've never seen anyone being effected by them substantially. My friends in high school who stopped going to their nutritionist gained all the weight back.
 

Cate

Support crew
If any of us go back to eating how we used to we would all end up regaining. I did Cohen's & lost my weight too fast (36 kg in 28 weeks) & have struggled with it ever since as my metabolism was drastically reduced. It is very strict & you eat very little food.
 

nidda.c

New member
If any of us go back to eating how we used to we would all end up regaining. I did Cohen's & lost my weight too fast (36 kg in 28 weeks) & have struggled with it ever since as my metabolism was drastically reduced. It is very strict & you eat very little food.

Okay. Thank you for sharing your experience. I have began searching up some dieticians in my area and sent one query.
I would not even have thought of this for some reason until you brought it up. Thank you.
:party:
 

alligatorob

Respected Member
Hey Nidda, welcome to the forum! I think your goals and plans are generally reasonable and achievable. Two pounds a week are possible, but maybe on the high side. Getting this done in a couple of years is certainly possible.

The hard part, for a while anyway, will be getting started. I did that through a combination of very short term goals and posting my food and progress here very regularly.
  • I caved the first day by eating Burger King.
  • I caved the second day by eating homemade barbeque.
  • The third day I gave up because we were going to my cousins house to say goodbye since she's moving to a different province.
  • The day after I caved my eating two plateful's of homemade spaghetti, which I made for the family. =____=
  • Today I caved again by eating some beef curry.
Yep, that sounds very familiar, I had a lot more years of that pattern than you have been alive! To make this work you have to stop the "caving", and stop it today, not plan to do it some day in the future. I did that by making my only goal "doing well today", at least at first. Trying to think out a year did not help me much.

I suggest you consider tracking your calories and posting them here every day, at least for a while, that helped me, I still do it. I think most diets work so long as you take in fewer calories than your body burns. It is that calorie deficit that results in weight loss. Different diets can make that easier for some folks, but you need that deficit to lose weight.

Posting here will get you support, we are all people who share your problem and understand your struggles. I am only an "expert" in this based on my own experiences, that is why I tie my comments back to myself. I also know everyone is different so the best path for you may be different from mine, what we here can do is help you find yours.

You can do this!!
 

liza

Well-known member
HI Nidda
Welcome to the forum--I see you have gotten excellent advice from both Cate and Rob who have done amazing jobs in dropping the weight. I hope you find lots of inspiration and motivation here and develop strong connections to help keep you on track to a healthy life-style. I know consistent posting here has really helped me a lot!
 

nidda.c

New member
Oops forgot to post yesterday. I'm still getting used to the fact that I have to post daily.

Positive Points:

I've continued with the one meal a day challenge. I've been drinking A LOT more water which I am the most happiest about. Since weighing myself first on July 4th I've lost 5 lbs. All things to feel happy about.

Yesterday I did really well at the wedding function I was invited to. From all the options I chose to eat protein (chicken, a meatball and boiled egg), cucumber slices and watermelon for dessert. It was a bit sad that the protein was mostly fried in oil, but I was hoping it was still healthier than binge eating white rice and naan bread.

Negative Points:

I was trying to not eat the watermelon too because apparently it is high on the glycemic index, but I think I didn't eat a large quantity.

Of course, I'm not going to be this restrictive long-term but I have goals to reach such as being able to sit cross-legged again on the ground, being able to cut my toe nails properly, etc.

Coming Up On the Next Episode of Nidda's Life:

Today is a day I'm at home all day so there are no big stressors - at least this is what I think at this point. My family is making dinner and I heard the words "butter chicken" so worried about that a bit in terms of self-control.

If that is the option I'll probably ask them to take out some meat for me separately and bake that to eat.
 

nidda.c

New member
Hey Nidda, welcome to the forum! I think your goals and plans are generally reasonable and achievable. Two pounds a week are possible, but maybe on the high side. Getting this done in a couple of years is certainly possible.

The hard part, for a while anyway, will be getting started. I did that through a combination of very short term goals and posting my food and progress here very regularly.

Yep, that sounds very familiar, I had a lot more years of that pattern than you have been alive! To make this work you have to stop the "caving", and stop it today, not plan to do it some day in the future. I did that by making my only goal "doing well today", at least at first. Trying to think out a year did not help me much.

I suggest you consider tracking your calories and posting them here every day, at least for a while, that helped me, I still do it. I think most diets work so long as you take in fewer calories than your body burns. It is that calorie deficit that results in weight loss. Different diets can make that easier for some folks, but you need that deficit to lose weight.

Posting here will get you support, we are all people who share your problem and understand your struggles. I am only an "expert" in this based on my own experiences, that is why I tie my comments back to myself. I also know everyone is different so the best path for you may be different from mine, what we here can do is help you find yours.

You can do this!!

Thank you alligatorob! I definitely need all the support I can get.

I understand where you are coming from with the calorie counting and I have done that in the past while losing a lot of weight, but it was not maintainable for me in the long term. When I got super busy I would drop it all-together, and it was hard to start again especially when you gain a ton of weight back. It is also something that I don't foresee myself doing for my whole life.

Right now I'm trying to understand the effects of different food on the human body. For example, in the past when I was calorie counting I thought it was fine to eat at a restaurant once a week as long as it was under my calorie goal, which it usually was, but then when I stopped tracking I gained all the weight back. So recently, I just learned that big food chains have whole teams of food scientists working behind-the-scenes to add chemicals to the food that make them addictive so the more you eat them the more you want to eat them again. Before I posted on this forum I was eating at restaurants 2-3 times a week! :eek:

I have always been like that - it is more important for me to understand the "why" and "how does it work" then to follow a regimented process. Some say I think too much LOL. I definitely agree with you about tracking food on here everyday though, and I will focus on that and the emotions behind what I eat regularly.

I've already started making positive change. The thing I'm most worried about is when I hit a plateau because it happens to all of us.
 

nidda.c

New member
HI Nidda
Welcome to the forum--I see you have gotten excellent advice from both Cate and Rob who have done amazing jobs in dropping the weight. I hope you find lots of inspiration and motivation here and develop strong connections to help keep you on track to a healthy life-style. I know consistent posting here has really helped me a lot!

Thank you. I'm so so so so so happy that I found this community!
I was on myfitnesspal before and it was hard to find people who would walk alongside your journey with you.
I think the largest reason I've failed is because I always thought I was doing it all by myself. I would become bitter and depressed and then give up, especially when I hit plateau's.

I'm really happy that this community is so supportive.
 

toodamtall

Active member
Hi Nidda! Just stopping through to offer some support.

Suggestion: Read around the forum for a few of the stickies. There are some truly experienced and smart people that are part of this. I've played with assorted types of weight loss plans over the years with limited success. Ultimately what I'm trying to do now is simply make better choices on what I put into my body, while maintaining a reasonable level of exercise and activity. The other thing I'm trying to do is not beat myself up if I make a mistake along the way.

I don't know about you, but I can't remember how many times I made a poor choice and let it screw up my whole day, week, month... Then we isolate in guilt and shame and do it again. Kind of becomes a vicious cycle.
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
I think the largest reason I've failed is because I always thought I was doing it all by myself. I would become bitter and depressed and then give up, especially when I hit plateau's.
Well pretty much all of us have hit plateaus at some point... But if you stay consistent they always break.
 

nidda.c

New member
Hi Nidda! Just stopping through to offer some support.

Suggestion: Read around the forum for a few of the stickies. There are some truly experienced and smart people that are part of this. I've played with assorted types of weight loss plans over the years with limited success. Ultimately what I'm trying to do now is simply make better choices on what I put into my body, while maintaining a reasonable level of exercise and activity. The other thing I'm trying to do is not beat myself up if I make a mistake along the way.

I don't know about you, but I can't remember how many times I made a poor choice and let it screw up my whole day, week, month... Then we isolate in guilt and shame and do it again. Kind of becomes a vicious cycle.

I need to start exercising, but it is so hard to form new habits. I can't even go to sleep on time because of poor choices, and just learned today that most of your fat burning happens during REM sleep.

I struggle with beating myself up (aka self-sabotaging). I'm worried about when it is going to happen. So far, because I have a community to report to I've been doing pretty well. But, then again it hasn't even been a week yet!

I hope I surprise myself with all the new things I am learning nowadays about food and health.
 

nidda.c

New member
I guess I'll be posting my reflections a day late for a while.

Positive Points:

I was given the task of preparing dinner. I usually enjoy making food with white carbs (e.g. spaghetti or lasagna) when it's my turn, but this time I made baked butter cajun fish and baked mixed vegetables. That is what I ate for dinner.

I've been watching a lot of health videos recently. I really enjoy repeat listening to Kiana Docherty. I also began to listen to Dr. Eric Berg DC as well. I feel like the more health related content I listen to or watch the more motivated I am to keep up my health plan.

Negative Points:

I still have not started any form of exercise. I'm still trying to find the motivation for that.
Also I go to sleep at 2AM every night due to my internet addiction.

Coming Up On the Next Episode of Nidda's Life:

My sisters are going to hang out with some mutual friends and they invited me as well. These friends always eat out though. So, I'm debating whether I should go or not. Do I have enough self-control to say no to fatty foods? TT____TT
 

LaMaria

Well-known member
Can you look at the menu of the place you'd be going to and select something in advance? I find it easier to make good choices when I'm not hungry or distracted. Then when I get to the restaurant I don't have to look at that tempting menu: I can just order as planned.

Also: a short daily walk could be an easy start to exercising.
 

Trusylver

Powerlifting Coach
Staff member
LaMaria's suggestion is a good one, if you go to eat out it is easier to stick to your goals and limits if you have a solid plan before you go.
 

alligatorob

Respected Member
Right now I'm trying to understand the effects of different food on the human body.
Me too, I think it's a never ending quest. The only think I know for sure is if I eat too much, no matter the food, I get fatter. Seriously though it is important to think about and keep an eye on.
I thought it was fine to eat at a restaurant once a week as long as it was under my calorie goal, which it usually was, but then when I stopped tracking I gained all the weight back. So recently, I just learned that big food chains have whole teams of food scientists working behind-the-scenes to add chemicals to the food that make them addictive so the more you eat them the more you want to eat them again. Before I posted on this forum I was eating at restaurants 2-3 times a week!
What you eat matters more than where, my opinion anyway. You are probably right about the chain restaurant thing, when I eat out its mostly at locally owned one of places. I like the food better and feel like supporting the locals is better than some corporate giant.
I was on myfitnesspal before and it was hard to find people who would walk alongside your journey with you.
I use myfitnesspal every day to track food and calories, but agree with you it is not so good as a community thing as here. This forum allows better (for me anyway) personal interaction with folks.
I still have not started any form of exercise. I'm still trying to find the motivation for that.
Keep thinking at it and trying things, it took me a while to get into exercising. Finding something you like enough to stick with is the most important thing.
My sisters are going to hang out with some mutual friends and they invited me as well. These friends always eat out though. So, I'm debating whether I should go or not. Do I have enough self-control to say no to fatty foods?
Only you know the answer to that, but I think you probably can. What I do is order the biggest salad I can get, without dressing, it tends to keep me busy whilst others are eating the fatty stuff. If there is not one on the menu do the best you can with what is, for me the same objective, the most food mass for the fewest calories is what I always order. Its also usually the healthiest thing. And just say no to any desert at all, and to much alcohol or drink with calories, none is best but a single drink won't hurt you. I find most friends and family supportive once they see what I am doing. I think continuing to socialize is important, but stopping for a short time whilst getting started might be for the best.

You got this!
 

liza

Well-known member
I feel like the more health related content I listen to or watch the more motivated I am to keep up my health plan.
That's great Nidda--good to find the things that will help you stay on track!
it is so hard to form new habits. I can't even go to sleep on time because of poor choices, and just learned today that most of your fat burning happens during REM sleep.
Yes it is difficult, but just keep at it. The sleep thing is an on-going challenge for me too. A seemingly easy help for health since we just have to lie there and dream but not always the easiest to implement. I hope you can start to limit the internet to help you get to bed!
 
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