thank you so much, guys! really, your comments are so encouraging and motivating! I literally feel stronger as I read all the positive and thoughtful things you all have written to me .. It makes me wish that everyone in the world could be so kind and supportive!
about a month and a half ago, I lost my very best friend to a genetic, chronic, and terminal illness .. one of the things that we all remember about him was that he LOVED food .. we were both foodies and always tried every new restaurant in the city, no matter the cost .. he truly lived his life to the fullest and enjoyed everything life had to offer .. he ate like a king and traveled like a jetsetter .. after his death, i took the lessons he taught me to the extreme .. i ate everything i wanted .. every other night i tried a new restaurant ... not only did i gain back all the weight i lost and them some (i was at a happy 145 around that time), the fancy restaurants have burned a hole in my pocket!
after reading your comments, I feel motivated again .. thank YOU so much for helping me .. seeing you all rooting for me makes me want to make you all proud .. thank you for pulling me out of this crisis.