Hey everyone my name is Allie and I'm new to the forum. I decided to sign up because I need some very much needed support and idea's in order to get this weight off truly for good. This is my fourth try and I am the biggest I've ever been. I'm now 22 as of now and I've been over weight all my life and I've struggled with it. The first couple of times I tried to loose weight I was in Jr High and highschool, and each time I lost between 30 to 35 pounds.
But I never ever quite got down to the size I wanted and I was doing it for the wrong reason's... (A BOY) But I was young and didn't know any better and the reason for not accomplishing my goals was because I was doing it for me.
The third time I did great It was a year after I had graduated highschool in 2007 and a much wanted and needed trip to Atlanta in the late July 2007 to visit my aunt changed me. Not only did I have the time of my life, but my a good conversation with my favorite aunt left me going home with some much needed words of encouragement. She said to me if I wanted to loose the weight than go for it... but do it for myself and me only. So when I got back home I was truly ready. I just started working out everyday.
I called it my dancercise. What I would do was put on my favorite CD and dance to each song on the album. And that was my hour of workout. My fave's were Ciara the Evoulution, Great CD to work out to its a lot of fast songs that get you wanting to really dance, Rihanna Good girl gone bad, not as fast but she has some great pop songs to dance too or Aaliyah's last album I love to listen to her voice really she is my ab idol, LOL dancing to her songs give me motivation. I miss her.
But anyway I started at around 190 and after a few months I was at 160. I went from a size 16 to a size 6 and I felt good. I remember seeing an old classmate of mine from high school. She was the popular pretty girl in school and when I saw her at the mall I felt a little burst of happiness because I felt like I looked just as good as her, or better. I was in my "Bitch I look good" Mode, LOL I was actually seeing old friends from high school a lot and everyone I saw from my past commented on how skinny I had gotten, Plus I was getting hit on left and right, even by this one cutie I was doing music with and that I was sort of feeling too. It never went anywhere because he had too many things going on like baby mama's and all. But getting hit on buy cute guys was something I was used too, but it felt good to be wanted. I was even going out to the clubs and stuff, its not my scene but when I went I had a great time and I had on bangin outfits that I couldn't wear when I was bigger. I was no longer the biggest out of all my friends in fact I was one of the smallest and standing next to my skinny friends I didn't feel so self concious, because we were almost the same size. 07 and 08 were my years. But I didn't feel complete because I wasn't.
I didn't feel skinny at all.
My biggest problem area that I always wanted to get rid of still was there my stomach. My lower half was small, and my face was smaller but my breast, and stomach was still big. I knew I still had a lot to do but for some reason I just couldn't stay on it. Around in the beginning of 2009 I got tired of my bull ish job and quit, they never gave me any hours and so I wasn't making any money, plus my manager was rude and didn't know what she was doing so I left. The summer of 2009 I started Cosmotology school full time and got a new job that was part time. I would go to school from 9:00 am to 4:00pm and go to work from 5:00pm to 8:30 at night six days a week. By the time I got home I was exausted and didn't feel like working out, I didn't have any time to or least thats how I felt. And so I started eating all those foods I still loved and since I wasn't working out within in the last two in a half years I've gained back all the weight I had loss and then some more. And thats where I am today at the biggest I've ever been in my life.
I lost my job about five months ago and I quit school around the time I lost my job and I've been waisting time. I don't go anywhere anymore because I don't want people to see me and actually the only time I do go somewhere is if I'm driving my mom somewhere or to the store and its just a mess. I feel like I don't have the energy to go hard at it again and I'm so depressed. But I know I have to start because my weight it the center of all my issues. Its why I don't want to go out with my friends anymore, its the reason why I don't take pride in the way I look, its the reason why I've refused to buy anymore clothes because I don't want to except the fact that I am the size I am. My weight is holding me back.
I know I can't fit in my size 6 anymore and everytime I look at them they just remind me of how small I truly was and I miss it. Now instead of loosing the orginal 60 that I should've lost two years ago because of slacking off I have to loose a hundred to get to my ultimate goal. And I plan to be at my goal in a year. I know this is going to be the challenge and the hardest thing of my life. And thats why I need some much needed support.
I want to do what I did last time my dancercise because it did work and it was fun, it didn't feel like a workout at all but I think I also want to buy either the PX 90 or Insanity DVD's or maybe both. But anyway that is my story... I'm ready this time, a little nervous... okay REALLY NERVOUS but I'm ready. Because I'm tired of people commenting on my eyes and nothing else. All I hear these days is... "Aw you have such pretty eyes..." In my mind that means "you have such pretty eyes and thats about it." I want to be considered sexy but not for just my eyes but for my whole appearance, it may sound shallow but I want to look at myself naked in the mirror and love what I see. No fat, no rolls just lean, and sexy. When I'm done I want that flat stomach that I've always wanted... I'm tired of being like this... its time for a change!
But I never ever quite got down to the size I wanted and I was doing it for the wrong reason's... (A BOY) But I was young and didn't know any better and the reason for not accomplishing my goals was because I was doing it for me.
The third time I did great It was a year after I had graduated highschool in 2007 and a much wanted and needed trip to Atlanta in the late July 2007 to visit my aunt changed me. Not only did I have the time of my life, but my a good conversation with my favorite aunt left me going home with some much needed words of encouragement. She said to me if I wanted to loose the weight than go for it... but do it for myself and me only. So when I got back home I was truly ready. I just started working out everyday.
I called it my dancercise. What I would do was put on my favorite CD and dance to each song on the album. And that was my hour of workout. My fave's were Ciara the Evoulution, Great CD to work out to its a lot of fast songs that get you wanting to really dance, Rihanna Good girl gone bad, not as fast but she has some great pop songs to dance too or Aaliyah's last album I love to listen to her voice really she is my ab idol, LOL dancing to her songs give me motivation. I miss her.
But anyway I started at around 190 and after a few months I was at 160. I went from a size 16 to a size 6 and I felt good. I remember seeing an old classmate of mine from high school. She was the popular pretty girl in school and when I saw her at the mall I felt a little burst of happiness because I felt like I looked just as good as her, or better. I was in my "Bitch I look good" Mode, LOL I was actually seeing old friends from high school a lot and everyone I saw from my past commented on how skinny I had gotten, Plus I was getting hit on left and right, even by this one cutie I was doing music with and that I was sort of feeling too. It never went anywhere because he had too many things going on like baby mama's and all. But getting hit on buy cute guys was something I was used too, but it felt good to be wanted. I was even going out to the clubs and stuff, its not my scene but when I went I had a great time and I had on bangin outfits that I couldn't wear when I was bigger. I was no longer the biggest out of all my friends in fact I was one of the smallest and standing next to my skinny friends I didn't feel so self concious, because we were almost the same size. 07 and 08 were my years. But I didn't feel complete because I wasn't.
I didn't feel skinny at all.
My biggest problem area that I always wanted to get rid of still was there my stomach. My lower half was small, and my face was smaller but my breast, and stomach was still big. I knew I still had a lot to do but for some reason I just couldn't stay on it. Around in the beginning of 2009 I got tired of my bull ish job and quit, they never gave me any hours and so I wasn't making any money, plus my manager was rude and didn't know what she was doing so I left. The summer of 2009 I started Cosmotology school full time and got a new job that was part time. I would go to school from 9:00 am to 4:00pm and go to work from 5:00pm to 8:30 at night six days a week. By the time I got home I was exausted and didn't feel like working out, I didn't have any time to or least thats how I felt. And so I started eating all those foods I still loved and since I wasn't working out within in the last two in a half years I've gained back all the weight I had loss and then some more. And thats where I am today at the biggest I've ever been in my life.
I lost my job about five months ago and I quit school around the time I lost my job and I've been waisting time. I don't go anywhere anymore because I don't want people to see me and actually the only time I do go somewhere is if I'm driving my mom somewhere or to the store and its just a mess. I feel like I don't have the energy to go hard at it again and I'm so depressed. But I know I have to start because my weight it the center of all my issues. Its why I don't want to go out with my friends anymore, its the reason why I don't take pride in the way I look, its the reason why I've refused to buy anymore clothes because I don't want to except the fact that I am the size I am. My weight is holding me back.
I know I can't fit in my size 6 anymore and everytime I look at them they just remind me of how small I truly was and I miss it. Now instead of loosing the orginal 60 that I should've lost two years ago because of slacking off I have to loose a hundred to get to my ultimate goal. And I plan to be at my goal in a year. I know this is going to be the challenge and the hardest thing of my life. And thats why I need some much needed support.
I want to do what I did last time my dancercise because it did work and it was fun, it didn't feel like a workout at all but I think I also want to buy either the PX 90 or Insanity DVD's or maybe both. But anyway that is my story... I'm ready this time, a little nervous... okay REALLY NERVOUS but I'm ready. Because I'm tired of people commenting on my eyes and nothing else. All I hear these days is... "Aw you have such pretty eyes..." In my mind that means "you have such pretty eyes and thats about it." I want to be considered sexy but not for just my eyes but for my whole appearance, it may sound shallow but I want to look at myself naked in the mirror and love what I see. No fat, no rolls just lean, and sexy. When I'm done I want that flat stomach that I've always wanted... I'm tired of being like this... its time for a change!