new to the board, and getting discouraged

A

Artchickliz

New member
I have been trying to lose weight several months and have really seen no progress. My weight has been hovering at my starting weight between 184 and 188 and WILL NOT BUDGE! I gained most of my weight about a year ago, shortly after I got married. I was 20 at the time, a healthy 135 (at 5’6”), I’m now 22 and have gained almost 60 lbs! what makes it especially difficult to accept is the fact that even when I was 135 I felt fat and uncomfortable in my own skin, but now...looking back at pictures of myself then, I would KILL to be back at that! ever since we got married, we have been under an immense amount of stress. my husband is English, and nearly the first year of our marriage was consumed with immigration dealings, but that is a very VERY long story, anyway, that was finally resolved in april when he got his green card, and he was granted a work permit a few months before that, and even though we are now getting back on track, and are very happy with EACH OTHER, it’s like we don’t know how to relax anymore, I feel exhausted all of the time, like I am still recovering from the stress of the past 2 years. I don’t use these things as an excuse, but it’s still the REASON I have gained weight.

So..........with that being said, about 3 months ago I looked at myself and said “you are not going to be like this for the rest of your life”. I have made the utmost effort in exercising 3-5 days a week, from walking/running/jogging, weights, aerobics, etc, in addition to being, generally speaking, a pretty active person. We have a dog that we get a lot of exercise with, and are always busy, ie, we don’t do a lot of sitting around! I’ve also tried to go back to my ‘old’ diet. When I lived at home still with my dad (very healthy and fit) and sister (a vegetarian) we always had tons of healthy food and not much bad. It’s been so discouraging to have to face up to how I have “let myself go”, but now that I’m trying to deal with it, I’m not seeing ANY changes. I’ve been keeping my daily intake between 1500 and 2000 calories (trying not to do the whole starvation mode thing) and my diet consists of things like oatmeal, eggs, whole grains, fruits and veggies for snacks and in meals, almonds, salmon, chicken, skim milk, 2 or 3 meals a week I might have a lean cuisine, peanut butter, hummus, chocolate soy milk when I want something sweet, LOTS of water, and I usually don’t consume any more that 2 alcoholic drinks in the entire week, if any.

Oh, and just a side note, when I was about 16 I lost around 30 lbs to get down to 135, so I wasn’t just ‘born’ skinny, so to speak, I had to work to get there and stay there, and did for 4 years

I just don’t know how I haven’t lost ANYTHING! I’m not complaining because I’ve only lost 3lbs in 3 months or something, I haven’t seen any change at all! It’s just getting difficult. Does anyone have any words of advice they could share? I’m really appreciate it ?
 
Hm. I can see why you're frustrated. :)

There are a couple of things that stood out for me in your post, so I'll comment on them, but correct me if I'm wrong or if there's more to the story.

The first thing that I really noticed is that you said: I’ve been keeping my daily intake between 1500 and 2000 calories . That's a pretty big range, to be honest and it makes me wonder exactly HOW close you're keeping it. At your weight, your maintenance calories would probably be around 2600 and I'm really wondering if you're guesstimating your calories, it's very possible that you're going over. Are you carefully weighing and measuring everything you put in your mouth? Are you counting things you drink? I'll give you an example of when I first started losing weight - I would have a 1/2 peanut butter sandwich on whole grain every day for lunch. I measured my peanut butter out by the Tablespoon (cause that's the measurement that was on the side of the jar). Except I was using a regular tablespoon (like from my silverware set) and I didn't realize that by measurement (35 grams per serving) I was actually eating nearly 2 servings of pb per day. So that was an additional 170 calories I was consuming that I didn't realize. Making those kinds of little mistakes can really add up over the course of a day.

Also even if you eat perfectly on plan for 6 days and then go crazy with a "treat day" or whatever on the 7th, it's possible for that one day to really royally screw up the rest of the week (I can say that for a fact because that's what I've done to myself the last few months of slacking off. ;) ).

I guess my first advice would be to become really strict about tracking what you eat for a whole week - write down and measure everything - and really see exactly what you're eating.

So the other thing that stood out to me is that you said you feel really fatigued all the time. There are a lot of things that can account for that and stress is a HUGE one. Stress will mess with your metabolism. When you suffer a lot of stress - and especially ongoing stress over a long period of time - your body produces more cortisol. Recent studies have shown that kind of stress can suppress your thyroid, mess with your insulin receptors, decrease your muscle and bone density, all kinds of stuff.

I normally wouldn't suggest this right off the bat because most people just need to manage their food and exercise better - but given what you've dealt with the last couple of years, I'm thinking it might be a good idea for you to go to your doctor and have a physical done. Just to make sure everything is running the way it should. :)

And finally, you may just need some downtime to NOT think about losing weight just yet. And I know how hard that is when you've made the decision to do something about it now and when you really want to. But you may just need to give your body some recovery time from the stress you've been through. Getting a green card, getting married ... both of those things are HUGELY stressful - even good stress is bad for you. :) Just take some time to relax, enjoy each other, and just breathe for a bit before jumping into weight loss. Continue to eat healthily and exercise, but don't make it another goal that has to be accomplished or another thing you have to stress about.

Oh and congrats on the green card and work permit. :)
 
thanks for such thorough feedback. :)

i actually track my calories on fitday, and i eat a lot of the same things day to day. like, i have oatmeal and a cup of coffee almost every morning for breakfast. the coffee, i use only a tiny pinch of sugar and about 2 teaspoons of non fat creamer, and i measure it out the same way every day. i pretty much just drink water, very rarely do i ever drink juice or anything else with calories, except, like i said, i drink chocolate soy milk for a 'treat' after dinner, but i measure out a serving. the range of the calories comes from the variations in what i eat. for example, one day i may have almonds for a snack, there's 250 calories, the next day, i may not have a snack at all, or it may be a pack of baby carrots, which is just 35 calories. things like that. it's not from guesstimating.

i also just had a physical about 6 months ago, and besides the weight, i'm actually very healthy. low blood pressure, low cholesterol, healthy heart and lungs (i've never smoked in my life). i went to the doctor because of my weight and the fact that i gained it rather quickly. the doctor i go to is also a weight specialist and he prescribed me phentermine. i took it for 3 months, and i lost about 8 lbs in the first 2 months, but it really stopped working so i stopped taking it. i've kept off that 8 lbs, but i haven't budged past that.

the stress is probably the biggest factor, and i am actually going back to the doctor for a checkup next month, and i'll talk about all these things with him again. i guess i do just need to take things slowly and focus on being healthy and the weight will come off.
 
Hi again.

Ok, so it sounds like you really are on track for the calories. That's good.

My next suggestion would be to start paying attention to your nutrient levels. Make sure you're getting somewhere around 30% of your calories from protein and somewhere around 30% of your calories from healthy fats. The almonds are a good example of a healthy fat.

I would stay off the phentermine or any other drugs for weight loss, myself, so I think it's good you've stopped taking them.

I am really thinking that your body just needs some recovery time from all the stress and I'm kind of wondering if you stop thinking about losing weight and manage to relax and de-stress a bit, if it won't start coming off on it's own?
 
i'm definitely starting to think that by body just needs some serious time to recover. i know how to eat healthy, and i've never been a junk-a-holic. (i just love ice cream, but i never over do it!) and actually prefer healthy food to anything fried/greasy/heavy/fatty/etc. i've been exercising with my sister a couple times a week, and on my own any other days i can. i guess i do need to just focus on being healthy and the weight will come off. reading this forum i think is good for me though, like, keeping weight loss in mind, just not the MOST important thing in my mind.
 
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