Cohen's Lifestyle New to Cohens

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Hi Nicky

Hope your feeling better after the operation. Yes what Niyah is right and it is also stated in the Cohens plan too. Never skip meals. I remember the first time I did program their were a few shift workers so that had to do the same as you.

Anyway good luck with getting back on board. You will do fine just hang in there.
I am also planning to in corporate some light exercise too...

Keep well - Sam:)
 
Had a rather dismal weekend. Ate dessert along with a bag of chips (crisps). At the current moment all I can think about is the cake in the fridge at work and whether or not to just 'take one bite.' I feel like such an idiot, I don't know why I'm allowing food to control me this way! I mean, I lost 12kg's for crying out loud! Why can't I do it again?! Better still, why do I do this to myself?! I'm not looking for a pity party, don't get me wrong, I just wish I knew what was holding me back. I'm not as strong as I thought I was and it pains me to admit it. I look at all the success stories and think, will that ever be me? I am so obsessed by my weight that I hope I don't just give in completely, only to hide in a corner and eat till I can't anymore.
Here's to hoping that it's only me feeling this way!:nopity:
 
Hi Nicky

I've been where you are too many times to even put a number to. But I just saw how far you have come and you have 10kg left to GW.....I have the same so we can both do this Nicky. Okay you've had the deviatation now it's time to throw out that cake in the fridge. Make an excuse that it fell on the floor or there was something growing on it...or try and make it physically unappealing to you, maybe visualise yourself back at your starting weight..... use anything to regain your focus.
You can do this Nicky....you really can.

I hope I don't sound to abrupt but I really want to see you suceed and have no regrets....like I said I have been there too many times to count and I don't ever want to be there again.

Samxo.
 
Hi Sam,

Can you tell me how you got through it, what you did and how you did it? And what motivated you to get back to the diet again? PLEASE
 
I gained all my weight back!!!!!....and I couldn't fit into my clothes and my skin broke out and I was just sick of the yo-yo dieting that I was doing. And I decided if I was ever going to lose this weight for good I would need to get back on Cohens. 10kg is not alot to lose on Cohens but on any other diet it would be and also I have been trying to lose this for over 2 years Nicky and enough was enough for me.

You can do it and we are all here for you. L-Jay has given me a rap over the nuckles today for doing a taste test and she is right I shouldn't be and also Cate has also had words over a deviation I did awhile back and I snapped at her (sorry Cate) but I can see she is right as well. There will be time enough for me to have these treats in moderations once I have reached goal.
But sticking 100% to plan will see the weight come off quickly.

Take care- Sam:)
 
NickyJ- We have all been there in exactly the same place as you sweetie, so many times, as Sam says too many to count! It may sound crazy but I think that most of us hide behind our fat. I know that I did. Lack of self-esteem is the main reason I think we use food as a crutch & as a way of not letting ourselves get to our goal weight. Being slim brings much more attention. If I asked you now if you truly think that you are worthy of love and are a good person would you answer yes? I hope that you would but I suspect that you wouldn't. Nicky you are worth loving. You will love being slim. It will take getting used to but you will love it! Your self-esteem will soar & you will wonder why you ever doubted yourself. You can do this my friend. Find that determination that you had & focus on giving yourself the love & self-respect that you & all of us deserve.
Only 10kg to go Nicky. I've said it before but I'll say it again. If I can do it anyone can. I really think that you can do this NickyJ. Stop beating yourself up & instead give yourself lots of credit for how far you have come. I'm sending you a very big confident & encouraging hug & a shoulder massage & I'm saying "Go NickyJ! You can do this!"
xo Cate
 
can I have a shoulder massage too Cate:D......

Maybe we should start a christmas challenge....something to motivates us to get to goal.

Let me know what you think, even if it's just you and I who do it.

Hugs from me too - Sam:)
 
Thanks so much for the 'virtual hugs' Cate and Sam, I feel much more loved!!! :coolgleamA:
Cate do you honestly think it's because I don't respect/love myself enough that I tend to not stick to the diet? I always thought that I do...but it makes sense because if I really did, why am I allowing myself to be tempted?

I'm seeing a councillor to help me deal with my father's death, which happened 12 years ago but I buried all my emotions and it surfaced now, strange hey!!
I must admit, pre cohens I would never have thought of dealing with all these issues, but not comforting myself with food ALL THE TIME has prompted me to seek help. I really do miss my dad (first time I'm saying it out loud) and his death is as fresh in my memory as if it happened yesterday...I need to praise my mom for all she's done, she's been my pillar of strength and no.1 fan for as long as I can remember. That's enough sadness for now! Here's to all fellow cohenites who dared to take on the challenge of losing weight! :cheers2:

Sam, I will take you up on that challenge. It's Wednesday 28 October, when would you like to start officially?
 
Hi NickyJ

I lost my five week old son to a congenital heart defect in March 2005. Since then I have had 2 beautiful healthy children. It was only earlier this year that I realised that while I thought I had dealt well with the loss (I had to be so strong for my hubby who literally went to pieces) in reality I ate my way through all my feelings. It was a serious light bulb moment and I think that realising that and acknowledging my emotions was the first step in my journey.

There have also been a couple of other reasons for me finally deciding that I don't want to be fat forever. I have a daughter, and I don't want her to ever remember me being fat, she is almost 2. I grew up with a mother who was so self-obsessed with the most amazing body and she was always on diet and I went to the other extreme, almost punishing her for her attitude, does this make sense? In the end I realised that I was the one suffering, my marriage was suffering and my kids were not being exposed to a healthy mom.

The journey is sometimes easy and sometimes not, but overall I have decided that this is what I need to do. I am getting back in touch with who I am.

Kudos to you for dealing with your father's death, it can't be easy, but know that things can only improve.

Also know that we are all here to support you as you support us. Together we can all do it.

Be kind to yourself.

Sue
 
NickyJ- Pre-Cohen's I wouldn't even discuss seeing a counsellor, let alone see one & open up. It's a complicated but rewarding journey once we decide that we want to change ourselves. I don't let my feelings fester any more. It was quite confronting for me(counselling) & one of the best things I have ever done. Take care. If you need any more hugs, just sing out. I've got lots of spares! xo Cate
 
Hi NickyJ- In answer to your question to Sam-
"Just one question, with regards to your meals, are you allowed to swap from 1 meal (M1) to meal 2 (M2)? If I choose to eat from meal 1, I can only stick to what is listed under meal 1. My meal 3 is to have protein meat for breakfast, lunch and supper! Meal 2 is cheese for breakfast, meat for lunch and supper. Meal 1 is the one I get most hungry on as it's either yoghurt, 50g fish for lunch and egg for supper..."
Eating Plan directions-
"The order in which you eat these meals is immaterial"
Don't vary the weights though or take a meal 2 option but try to come up with what you think it would be size wise if you reduced it to a meal 1 portion. Leave them exactly how they are but switch the order around when it suits you. I sometimes used to have yoghurt & fruit for lunch as it was more convenient for me. Cheers, cate
 
Hi NickyJ- I just want to say I agree with what everyone else has said 100%. I think you can see that we all pretty much feel the or have felt what you are feeling, but for different reasons, but yes the basic reason is our self esteem.
One of the OP's mentioned her relationship with her diet obsessed mum. My mum was the same, but more with exercise. Even now, as an adult the first thing she says to me when she sees me relates to my weight/appearance. I think I used sabotage a lot too. It's like I'm her trophy when I look good. There is more to us than what we look like. We have a brain. I grew up with being teased, and called names. So it took a long time when someone found me attractive, or complimented me, to believe them.
But, the sabotage thing, I find can hit when perhaps we have lost some weight, and start to see improvement. You are around the 1/2 way mark, and it's an easy place to feel comfortable with where you are size wise - afterall, look what you've lost so far! But then the head stuff is still there. And that starts to come to the fore again. All the old feelings. You may question if you deserve this. I don't, but I know I don't care about myself enough. Negative self talk can be such a part of our life that it happens automatically, and we don't realize we are doing it. It affects how we feel about everything. I've been doing pretty good this time round, but yesterday, I swear, I was tempted to have a taste of things I shouldn't. It was real temptation. So, even though I haven't felt like that so much this time, it still happens - to all of us. I've been reading a good book, DR Phil. It's to do with how to cope with the 7 worst days of our life. He really focuses on how we choose react to something. We can't avoid life's trials, but we can choose how to react. Sometimes we need help with that. This is what I got out of it and I thought it might help you and others: To choose how to react, we really have to be aware of how we ARE reacting. (My words not his). Try to listen to the thoughts that are going on in your head, and if they aren't helping you, change them. You have to be your own best friend.
We don't put down our best friend, we build them up.
Here's some more hugs. You're not alone.
 
Thank you to all of you, Sue, Cate, Sam, you've made a difference to how I approach things and I appreciate it.
I really want to reach goal weight and maintain it, I've been sidetracked for so long that I'm actually frustrated and angry with myself for allowing it to happen. I'm taking it one day at a time, and I find myself forever praying that I don't give in to temptation. Haven't weighed myself in a while as I'm scared of what the scales are going to tell me, in fact, I gave the scale away! :willy_nilly:
Sometimes setbacks can help you (i'm hoping) because I no longer want to do that anymore, I hate the 'just this once' voice that's in my head.
Someone told me that eating cheese (mozarella) everyday is not healthy, is this true? Can it affect my weight loss? I stick with my meal 2 as it has variety, cheese for breakfast, chicken for lunch and beef for supper.
GTG, my boss just walked in!
 
Hey Nicky, I think in the program it says to try to limit cheese to 3x a week. It probably speeds things up, but you can still lose eating it more often. I know I do, but I like to shake things up a bit, and lunch time seems to be the meal I find easiest where variety is concerned. Probably because at night I'm limited to poultry or seafood. I'm not a huge fan of seafood unless it's battered and deep fried :rolleyes: or not too fishy tasting. And I haven't ever swapped my lunches and teas around.
For me when I was starting out, you know, to get past the "this is sooo restrictive, too hard, just this once wont hurt" mindset, I had cheese everyday at lunch and lost 4.5kgs in the first week. If I have a week where I'm feeling low, I do that, the reason being that it can be enough just dealing with sticking to the program, as far as weighing food and eating what's allowed, without making yourself eat something you don't really feel like. Having that choice is so important. So maybe a suggestion would be to steer away from the cheese when you're finding the going easier,unless of course you do find it affects your weightloss.
 
Thanks LJay, I just stick to the cheese everyday, as my other option of meal 1 makes me too hungry during the day and meal 3 has protein for breakfast. There was nothing on my meal plan about eating cheese only 3 times a week, what it does say is to have cheese only once a day...
I'm battling to stick to the diet, everyday I start off with the best intentions, but towards the evening I usually nibble on some chips. Yesterday was my mom's birthday and I just went haywire! I feel terrible writing this and I'm not looking for sympathy, because what I did was wrong, I had no willpower and I couldn't or didn't want to stick to the programme. I've lost my drive along the way and I need it back!
I DON'T want to go back to the old me and I DON'T want to eat the way I used to. I hate it. I feel like such a uncontrolled glutton!
 
Hey Nicky

I think the first most important thing you need to do is go and buy some scales. The reason I say this is in the past I have had the same problem trying to stick to Cohen's and I did the same thing- stopped weighing. When you stop weighing once a week you start to fool yourself and think maybe everything is just okay but it's not. Things can really get out of hand and I can speak from experience just putting on about 20kg's from not getting real with myself and aknowledging that I am not eating right. So get yourself some scales and find out what the damager is or isn't and it will help your resolve. I promise you this WILL help and giving away the scales was probably a bad idea as you need the to measure your goal. Remember to stick to a goal it needs to be measurable and attainable. We know that the weight Dr C set's for us IS attainable (even if it seems a long way away) so now you just need the measureable part to kick into gear. I can tell you the longer you neglect weighing yourself the worse it will get, so just jump on the scales, stop making excuses and stick to the program (all said in love as I know where you are right now).

I think the other thing you need to do is change your mindset. Cohen's is only as hard as you make it in your mind. I have found in past attempts I haven't been able to stick to it as I was lusting after the next bite of something and was always so focused on finishing the program. I think when you accept that this is very close to the way your going to have to live your life forever then you will understand that anything ''naughty'' is less apealing as it affects you and how you feel about yourself in reaching and maintaing your goal. I have found it very hard to change how I feel towards myself and start to love myself and in making a step in the right direction to pay some attention to me and the way I feel it has really helped.

I totally feel for you where your at right now and I know how very hard it is to get back on the band-wagon and stick to it. I have seen so many people fall off and not get back up but I know you CAN!!! Start again tomorrow (and not on Monday like I used to do) and just dont think about the past and your failings. Once you start afresh and say from now on I'm commited and no temptation is going to de-rail me then you will do so much better. I know that your probably starting to look really good now as well and that makes it hard as your mind starts to reason and say "I look fine, so I can eat the chips" but if you want to get to your goal then your going to have to be tough with your head. Understand that although 10kg's may seem like a bit to loose it is nothing in the scheme of things. Once this last bit of weight is gone your going to feel so free and happy- can you imagine that as visualisation is a really powerful tool.

Keep going and remember every day is a new day and if you want something enough you will move heaven and earth to get it- I know at some points I have had to do that.

All the best Nicky sweetheart and I hope your feeling more inspired to get with the plan again. I REALLY want you to succeed and your just SO close to your goal you can nearly taste it! Remember you CAN do it!!

Take care and be kind to yourself

xxx nicole
 
Hi Nicky. Nicole is so right about mindset. And yes, please be kind to yourself. No, you ARE NOT a glutton. You do have will power. You ARE NOT uncontrolled. Hon, don't keep saying negative things about yourself. How can you possibly get you mojo back if you are putting yourself down.
Support yourself. Successful people, in any field don't become successful, by constantly telling themselves all that bad stuff. Have a go at telling yourself that you ARE in control, and you have got this nailed. You would do that for your best friend. What about you?? Believe in yourself. You've come so far, you have a track record that tells you, you can do it. You have come too far to be controlled by a chip. Or a biscuit. Craving is only a feeling, and Cohens is not deprivation, it's liberation. Squash all the negative thinking with some postive quotes. Get them off the motivation thread. You need to be your best friend. We believe in you. You have to believe in yourself.
Hugs x
 
Hi Nicky

just checking in to see how you are going???

You've been handed some great advice here.....you can tell we all care and you matter to us Nicky.

Nicky it does say in the plan that cheese is to be had only once a day but to limit it to 3 times a week because it can stall you losing.
Also have you tried having an egg in the morning???
I have either a fried or scrambled with my veg allowance which is usually some mushrooms, tomatoe and I top it on a 2 CB with with cracked black pepper. I find this really fills me up.

Anyway I look forward to hearing from you now.
All the best - Sam:)
 
Hi Nicky, I'm sorry but I was away when you posted last. Nicole, Sam & L-Jay have said it but I will just add something. This is for life Nicky. You have to do whatever you can to change your mindset & feel more positive about yourself. You are not an uncontrollable glutton. Put it behind you & move on. It's time to take control of your life & your body. Do this to be healthy. Food is not good or bad. You are not good or bad for eating something. Don't beat yourself up. Learn by it. You can do it. You want to be slim. It's not that far off. Focus again. Think of why you want to be slim. Keep your eyes on the prize. Sending you support, love & lots of encouragement, xo Cate
 
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