New here and wondering where I'm at fitness wise

Hanksty

Hanksty

New member
Hi everyone!

I've been prowling around this site for the past couple months and just recently decided to make an account.

I'm 17 (turning 18 in August) and just graduated High School. Over the past year I have been trying to get myself in shape but I can't really judge myself and I can never really feel too great about how I look. Ever since the fall I have been bulimic and I've only been getting worse. I've tried to stop and almost did, but the urges were too strong, and I was only gaining weight in the time that I had stopped. I was the fat kid almost my entire life until I started playing footabll in high school, where I began to slim up. I am deathly afraid of becoming fat again so I force myself to purge myself of any food I eat. I am currently about 5'6" and 140lbs. I go to the gym about 5 days a week and every day I am there I run at least 7 miles on a treadmill. I usually go swimming after that and then lift weights. I consume about 4000 calories a day, but that's before I purge myself, so I really have no idea whether I am getting 3000 or 1000 calories each day.

Any help for what I could do to make myself look better would be much appreciated.

Here is me as of July 14th:
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I am deathly afraid of becoming fat again so I force myself to purge myself of any food I eat
Click to expand...
the long term harm you're doing to yourself doesnt compare to what you look like.

I would seek i mmedite p rofessional help for your eating disorder - talk to your parents/guardians - your long term health is important...

If you are interested in healthier habits, start reading the stickied threads
 
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Being overweight then losing the weight can be a trigger for eating disorders, as you've found out. The fear of returning to what you were before becomes an obsession, and an illness. The fact is you look great. You're fit and toned and obviously workout. But your life isn't so great I'm guessing because the bulimia becomes a ruling force. Your workout schedule is pretty punishing and you're at risk of overtraining. The purging puts your health at great risk.

Basically, before you can learn to love and accept yourself you'll need to treat the bulimia. It is a genuine illness, and treatment is available. Talk to your parents, or to your doctor. You can't do this alone. It is possible for you to be fit and healthy but not obsessed by your weight or overwhelmed with fear and self doubt. Get some professional help and you'll be on your way :)
 
Thanks for the support.

I've been talking to close friends of mine, but I can't talk to my parents about it. I don't think I could embarass myself like that.

I'm going to try and stop again, but this time I'm going to stay active. The main reason I would eat so much is because I would get bored and just start eating, and then before I knew it I had eaten 3000 calories in one meal. I'm going to rely on my friends to keep me going, and I know they won't let me down. I almost stopped before and I think I can really do it this time. With the new support from my friends and from this site I will be able to fix myself I believe.
 
I know you have heard all of this before, but bear with me. You don’t want to binge/purge, it’s not the long-term answer. Purging is extremely bad for you, your throat and your teeth will suffer a great deal for it, and I can’t imagine it feels good to do.

I understand that you don’t want to gain weight, really I do, no one who has been heavy is ever happy when they put the weight back on. But really, you need to get healthy as your priority. I would suggest that you limit the amount of calories you are eating, rather than purging after overeating. It’s tough, but it beats the alternative; your teeth and throat will thank you for it later.

I think it’s good that you are going to stay active, exercise is a huge key in being healthy.

Good luck to you :)
 
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