New and in need of help!

ParanoiaAgent13

ParanoiaAgent13

New member
I am 21 and over the years I have allowed myself to reach 220lbs. I am ashamed and it hurts even more because I can't seem to motivate myself. This has lead to me and my girlfriend to take drastic measures. As nothing has helped me lose the weight in the past we have worked out an ultimatum to lose 20 lbs before I graduate college, or she will leave me 'til I lose the weight. I have to lose it through exercise and healthy eating so that I build up healthy habits. This has lit a fire under my butt as, A) I don't want to lose her and B) my poor health/eating habits has left her worried enough to even consider such an ultimatum.

So with no one with proper weight loss habits to turn to I came to the forums to ask for help. I need help creating a basic layout for good and bad foods that I can chose from (college has limited food choices) and a solid workout that will not burn me out after a few months as my habit has been to lose weight and burn out after a month due to lack of visible results (this has led to my body weight fluctuating all over the place)

So my question to the forum is:
Where do I start?

I will do anything to lose this weight, so I don't lose anything more.

Thank you.
 
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A few suggestions

Before I make a couple of suggestions, I just want to say that I syampathize with your situation and applaud you for joining this forum and taking action!

Some thoughts about diet...

Eat protein and raw veggies with every meal.

Eat healthy fruit and healthy carbs like quinoa, oatmeal, buckwheat or chickpeas (hummus) only after your High intensity workouts.

Stay away from white stuff...rice, potatoes, bread, sugar etc.

Drink water, tea and limited coffee

take 5 grams of omega-3 fish oils every day...1 1000 mg pill 5 X a day. Make sure that there is at least 300 mg DHA in each pill. Great for heart function, decreases inflammation in the body (anyone more than 20 lbs overweight has increased inflammation in the body), helps with weight loss and fat metabolism.

Exercise cardio 4 days a week, 3 days a week do Hiit...High intensity interval training. Excellent for wt. loss, as well as anaerobic and aerobic health!

ex. exercise bike or recumbent bike 3-5 minute warm up
Increase resistance and tempo go flat out for 30 seconds
lower the resistance and tempo and recover for 3.5 minutes
repeat 5 times...when you get stronger do 8 repetitions
When that becomes easy...slowly decrease your recovery periods.


that should get you started for the next 6 weeks...then you should change it up!
let me know if something needs clarifying.
Mike
 
Might I suggest something better..Start with a food diary. Write down everything you eat for a week then you can make changes in your diet instead of trying to change everything at once. One of the biggest reasons people fail is they try to change their entire life at once.

You have made the right steps. Don't try to think about 6 weeks or any set time frame. Start with today.
 
Thank you very much! I only have a few questions in response.

As far as eating goes, what would be the easiest way to ease into those habits with out being turned away? What tastes best?

What other supplements should I look into, for overall health?

I also don't want to purchase some diet pill by accident.

What simple workouts I can do as a morning routine that won't take more than 30 minutes to do? Just something to jumpstart my day.

Once again thank you very much. I think this is the kind of community that is really going to help me stay on track.
 
You don't need supplements. Just skip that advice.

As far as food..well..that depends on you to be honest. You actually can eat anything you want in moderation. What you need is knowledge about the foods you like to eat and using that knowledge to cut down your calories.
 
If I cut my meals down, I can still have three and a snack or do I need to do the six meals a day plan? Because I have heard that it is a weightloss myth. I hear a lot of things about weightloss, it is rather overloading.
Thank you.
 
Do which one you feel will be better for you to keep you from eating more than your needed calories a day. If you think you will be better with 6 smaller meals, then do that. IF 3 large meals in a snack will work, do that. It is really more about total calories. You can eat more with lower calorie items like veggies. Doesn't mean you can't have a pizza slice here or there or steak or anything like that. If you do a food diary of your normal days and then do some research on the calories in those foods, you can figure out what changes can be made. It really is best if you learn some of this instead of having a meal plan handed to you because this is stuff you want to do for the rest of your life. You are trying to make these changes early in your life and that is a big advantage for you.
 
may I add start walking. your first week try to walk at least two to three days. don't over do it. just like a mile or two keep increasing your mileage and days as you feel comfortable. walking is easy on your joints and easy to stick to. you will also burn some calories and clear your head while doing it. Also when i started i got my BMR and used that as a gauge for my calorie count. I try to hit 1700 calories a day or less.

After a few months of walking you will be a walking machine last summer i could do five miles in a blink so i started running for a bit but went back to walking because i use the walking time as personal time.( me time )
 
I'll have to start walking, even in bad weather, because if I wait until the weather gets better I will definitely slack. Thanks for the suggestion. :)
 
She'll leave you if you don't lose 20lbs :/ Seems a little harsh. Surely there must be better ways to motivate you!
 
I hate to say but if 20 pounds is the factor of staying or leaving in a relationship..it's not too solid to begin with. Ultimatums in a relationship never end well.
 
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May I start with an even better suggestion?
Don't waste your time or love with somebody who forces an ultimatum upon you regarding your weight.
You've made it pretty clear already that you aren't happy at your current weight, but suppose you had been -- what type of person threatens to end a relationship over such a petty reason?
A vain one.

Your weight issue may not be best suited as your primary concern.
I apologize if this was offensive in any way, I'm just put off by how shallow some people can be.

In regards to your weight loss attempts, I know that Weight Watchers' points system has been highly successful for myself, and is a system that is very easy to use with just a couple of basic resources -- being a member of WW isn't even necessary.
I also know that WLF is full of very supportive people with a boatload of different ideas, because every weight loss story is different.
Surf the boards for about 15 minutes; you'll have more ideas than you know what to do with.

Best of luck to you.
 
Welcome!

Looks like Jericho has given you some pretty solid tips about how to start, i.e. making a food diary, that is a really great way to get a grip on exactly what is going into your body, be honest with it, believe me we've seen way worse :) Could I ask a little bit more about you specifically? I know you said you weigh around 220 lbs, but could we get height/weight/sex ? That would make is easier for me anyways, to calculate a base BMR (which we'll explain) which is a number you need to know.
 
Honestly, it is the only thing that has motivated me. We discussed this before hand, and she is helping me meet this goal. We decided this situation together, because losing her is my biggest fear and has already proven to be a huge motivating factor in this process. I told her if I can't lose the weight then I shouldn't see her until I do, she is going along with me on this because she knows losing her is what I fear and its worth getting healthy. 20lbs is just to show myself I can do it. She is not vain at all as our relationship is built upon personality and a close connection. She isn't leaving me alone on this either. It was our decision not hers alone. The decision was made not based on looks, she loves me at any weight, but for health reasons. That being said, I'd like to keep the comments away from my relationship and focus on the weight loss. Which is why I am here. My motivation may seem harsh too but I honestly can't lose weight for myself, I have tried and failed too many times. We are committed to this together, she is even toning up with me, and once I get on track we are getting a gym membership. Any more comments about my relationship will be dismissed as you don't know our relationship and I don't want to get that personal.

To address the other questions

I am female age 21,5'6" and have a family history of heart issues, a factor that should motivate me but doesn't. I also have a possible food addiction as I use it for comfort and binge on food often. Last fall I tried to lose weight for myself and my gf was supportive but I was doing it for me and after two months I stopped and began seeking comfort in food. I have tried before I met her and nothing has worked. This is my fifth time trying to lose weight and deep down the motivation is so I stay around for a long time, but alas, that needs to be backed up with something I fear and death by cake is not one of those things.

For christmas I was given a long board by my gf to help with balance and use of my core as a form of fun cardio but I know for a fact I need to do more. Strength training seems to be a good place to start and I plan on investing in a set in the near future. Right now my current activity level is low, getting up for bathroom and food or going to work, hanging out with friends. All which has lead to overindulgence. My goal for a new activity level is to be active everyday.

I hope this is enough info to get somewhere, and thank you.
 
ParanoiaAgent13

You are correct. It would be too easy for us to misinterpret (because we do not know all the facts), something that was actually done and said with your best interests at heart, as a way of motivating you.

We do need a strong WHY - otherwise there is little motivation to take action.
The experts refer to "towards" and "away from" motivation - or put it another way - we move towards pleasure and away from pain.
Sometimes, to get us moving initially we will react quicker to moving away from pain. However, to keep the momentum going, we need to add in some towards motivation to keep pulling us towards what we do want (rather than continuing to focus on what we do not want).
Otherwise we would take some action, lose a little bit of weight...then the loss might slow down because the "moving away" from pain had diminished.

With this in mind, can I make the suggestion to build upon the earlier good suggestion that you had of keeping a food diary.
At the beginning of the diary, write down all the painful (away from) reasons why you feel that you need to lose weight....then write down all the pleasurable (towards) things that reaching your ideal weight would get for you. Then you can keep referring to both in order to keep you moving in the right direction as you start to move towards your goal.

good luck and best wishes
 
Thanks weightwizard. I see how motivating with only negative or positive motivators can become discouraging. Essentially changing up my motivation will be like changing up my workouts and help me get over those plateau stages. Thanks for the advice.
 
Ok, I'm another one who really knows better due to family history (cancer, heart attacks, sudden cardiac death, high blood pressure & so on)...not to mention my OWN failing health!! Starting at 39 I became almost bedridden, and in HUGE amounts of pain. It took several years but I was diagnosed with severe depression, a rare arthritis, fibromyalgia, neuralgia, and assorted other goodies...on top of SUPER high cholesterol and SUPER high blood pressure. I finally managed to get medicated to the point that I am up & moving again. It started slowly...I could walk shot distances again, drive again, etc. Now I am starting a weight loss journey. My husband BEGGINg me to, for my HEALTH. So, I can relate to you. I was not at ALL motivated. I still have my days. I started at the beginning of Jan (the 3rd). What I did was buy a treadmill, because I CAN walk (weather doesn't matter). I realize you are in college & have limited space. Does the school have gym equipment you could use or a class you could sign up for that'd allow that? Hoe about a local YMCA?
I also joined water aerobics because I cant not have high impact workouts. I can't handle it, and I simply do not bend like other people. So, water exercise is perfect for me. I also HATE being overly hot & sweaty, so it's a super-plus. I signed up at the local swimming pool. I got 4 months of classes for $40. Even a college student should be able to swing that? I'm sure family would help if they are also concerned with your health.
I was discouraged, being on a tight budget...but after enough calling around I found there ARE affordable options.
Also, have your gal walk with you. Why not go to local lakes, rivers, forest, or interesting spots & walk? It doesn't have to be lonely. Offer to walk dogs for people for a few bucks! It's something.... Outdoor malls? Heck, indoor malls if it's ugly out. Especially early or late in the day!
As for food, only YOU know what you like. Creamy sauces usually =bad. Processed stuff= bad. the more "whole" you get, the better. Try farmers markets for fresh fruit & veg at great prices. And walking time! ;) How about flea markets? Swap to water with crystal light in it instead of soda. Ir diet soda if you must. I lost 50 pounds years ago just walking & dropping my huge Pepsi addiction!
Once you get USED to eating low fat & dieting your tastes actually change. Hand in there , the first 5 days are probably the worst with hunger pains & cravings. Eventually (a week or two) the fatty sugary crud will tase pretty bad. Hang in long enough (a couple of months) and it'll actually make you sort of sick. I wind up in the bathroom if I eat a Costco polish after a few months of dieting. Chicen (not fried or breaded), and fish (same) are GREAT sources of protein & are usually on sale somewhere. For snacking I keep fat free yogurt on hand (great for sweets cravings), dried apples, fresh fruit, and Fiber One bars. if you tend to live off this stuff if you have it...Buy smaller packages so you can't gorge. Baked chips are better than reg., but fresh fruit is even better still. walmart has TONS of "free" salad dressing at reasonable prices. Salsa is always a great snack...just use something other than chips with it.
I hope I have offered some help. Remember, this is for YOU, no one else. Maybe visit a retirement home & see how sucky life can be. You'll boost an older person's day by visiting & it'll also make you realize just how good you've got it & how much better it could be.
Just my thoughts....
 
Hey Paranoia,

Using your statistics, (weight, height, age, and sex) I calculated your RMR (Resting Metabolic Rate), the magic number we're looking at for right now is 2188.

What this number is, is a reflection of how many calories you'd need to take in each day, if you layed in bed all day. Another definition of this number would be how many calories your body needs, per day, to stay the exact same weight it is right now.

I've found that this is the easiest, most basic way to start weight loss, if you know exactly how many calories you need to stay the same weight, we can calculate how many calories you need per day to lose weight, make sense?

Most experts agree that you will lose about a pound per week with a 500 calorie per day deficit, in your specific case, you would lose 1 lb per week if you could stick to 1688 calories per day.

You can also subtract calories from your RMR by exercising, say you took in 3000 calories in one day, but also burned 500 calories through walking, running, weight training, etc...that would take your net calories from 3000 to 2500, does this make sense?

Again, the only way you're going to really know how many calories are going in and going out is to write down everything you eat in a given day, there are numerous websites out there that can tell you how many calories are in something, then one I use specifically is , you can make a profile on there and track everything from how many calories are in a specific food/drink, to how many calories you burn during an activity. They also have an app for iphone and droid if you have a smartphone.

Another thing to keep in mind is that as your weight goes down, so will your RMR, so after you lose 15-20 lbs you'll need to calculate a new base RMR to work off of. if you google "RMR calculator" there are tons of links to do this on.

I hope this isn't too much to take in, it can seem overwhelming at first but you'll get used to it, and when you realize that cutting 500 calories per day really isn't that difficult, you'll be well on your way to a healthier you! Let me know if you have any questions on this.
 
Leggedegg, i have a free gym at the school that I will hit up when it opens. Today we looked up simple exercises that can be done without weights and I have found a "Prision Workout" Which is perfect for the dorm space I have. So every other morning I am doing those. I have gotten rid of soda in my diet for 3 years now, can't even drink it unless it has real sugar or my stomach has a fit. It was really hard to admit to myself my family health history. I am hoping this build lasting healthy habits. Thank you for the suggestions I plan on going for walks as often as possible and I will diffenatly look into healthy food alternatives to the stuff I like :)

Fatguy, thank you. I do not have a smart phone, but I will check out the site and do my best to keep up with it.
One question I have is which activity would burn more calories running/walking or weight lifting? I have heard mixed thoughts on the process and am curious, because lifting weights sounds much more appealing to me than running, but if running has greater benefits then I need to consider that too.
 
ParanoiaAgent13 said:
Fatguy, thank you. I do not have a smart phone, but I will check out the site and do my best to keep up with it.
One question I have is which activity would burn more calories running/walking or weight lifting? I have heard mixed thoughts on the process and am curious, because lifting weights sounds much more appealing to me than running, but if running has greater benefits then I need to consider that too.
Click to expand...

You ask a bit of a loaded question there, there are definitely pros and cons to consider when asking which type of exercise is more "benefitial". One golden rule about exercise is that the "harder" it is, i.e. the higher your heart rate gets when doing an exercise, the more calories it's going to burn.

With walking alone you have the benefits of it being "easy" so to speak, it doesn't take a lot of physical exertion to simply go for a walk, walking is very beneficial for people who are just starting and are not used to exercising regularly, the downside to walking is that you have to do it for a long time, comparatively speaking, for it to make the same dent as running will.

Running burns a ton of calories, especially when someone is severely overweight or just starting. A few downsides to running are that it's "hard", you have to do it for a while before you get used to it, it is a high contact exercise, if your body isn't used to it, you can get shin splints (especially when just starting) etc...it's also sometimes difficult to do without the right equipment (shoes, treadmill, etc..)

On both running and walking, your body is naturally going to burn fat and muscle, the only way to maintain the muscle that you have right now is to do some form of weight/resistance training along with your diet. When people use diet alone to lose weight, most of the time they find themselves as what some people call "skinny fat", which is to say, they don't have any muscle mass to them, and even though their at a healthy weight, their body doesn't look like they want it to, due to the lack of muscle.

If you want my own non-expert personal opinion, you need to do weight/resistance training at the very least while in a caloric deficit. I find that some cardio (running or walking) along with weight training to maintain current muscle mass, and a caloric deficit, is the best way to lose weight. The nice thing about resistance training is that you can do it at home without any equipment (pushups/situps, etc).

Keep in mind that you're not going to want to jump into all this head first, the first time you lift weights or do pushups, you're gonna be really, really sore..so I would start out lightly, the same goes for walking or running, go into it slowly, knowing that your new lifestyle is going to take a while to get used to.

When I started, I took things one at a time, I wrote down what I ate, I made sure that I was getting at least a 500 calorie deficit per day through my diet, (which we talked about earlier). Once I got that down I gradually added weight training and cardio giving my body time to adjust at every step, until I was comfortable doing it all at once. This type of weight loss isn't a quick way to do things, but it is the right way to do things.

Hopefully this cleared some stuff up for you.
 
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