New and having frustration

J

Jeanine2

New member
Hi Everyone,

My name is Jeanine, I am 35 mother of 2. Right now I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life, including at the end of my pregnancies! I am 5'4" and 185 pounds. Thick frame, big bones, butt and boobs, normally, now I am just big all over.

I would say my "natural weight" is about 155-160, though I would like to be thinner than that, I have hovered around the 155 mark for a lot of years and I think I look pretty good at that weight size 8/10.

Over the last 15 months though I had a lot of personal problems, financial problems, overall stress and depression. I was eating too much, drinking too much, smoking too much and not exercising at all.

Well, I got on Wellbutrin about 3 months ago, and it has helped my life overall, and I have quit smoking almost immediately. The other time in my life that I was on Wellbutrin I lost about 30 pounds. This time I have GAINED about 20 in just a few months. I don't think it is the Wellbutrin, I think it is the quitting smoking, but anyway, my eating and weight gain have just gotten out of control. 20 pounds in a few months at my height is bad.

I don't even recognize myself. I won't go out to see friends any more. I don't want people to see me like this. So I have mastered not smoking, now time to take care of my other vices. SALT, and food in general.

I am just really getting frusterated. We joined a gym about 10 days ago, and I have went 9 of the 10 days, every day but Sunday. Sometimes 2x per day. I work out between 1-4 hours per day, an average of 2.5 hours per day. Mostly cardio, some weights.

I am just so upset that I have actually been gaining weight still!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so mad because with all the exercising that I have done at the gym I would have expected to lose at least 5 pounds by now.

It is natural for my body to muscle up quickly and it is hard for me to lose weight, but I am scared if I don't lose the weight and just build muscle, I am going to look huge and manly. I am not that feminine to begin with.

I do drink either beer or rum and diet coke most Saturday nights, and I know that is a lot of bad calories. If I get desperate, guess I can cut that out too, but I do like to have this time to relax once per week.

Other than that, I love food, and I love to salt the crap out of my food. I LOVE salt. I know I have to quit the salt at least temporarily, but it is going to be hard. Can someone be addicted to salt? Because if so.... I have a serious salt problem.

I made a huge pot of "Cabbage Soup" today and I am going on the Cabbage Soup Diet tomorrow up until Thanksgiving. I have lost 25 pound with that diet in the past, and I kept it off for years afterward, so it did work for me, but now I am repelled by Cabbage soup. I am not looking forward to even eating one bowl, let alone living on it.

Since I am actively trying to lose weight and torturing myself with this diet, I don't just want to lose the 20 I have recently gained. I want to be hotttt again. I am going to try to lose about 55 pounds. I would love to see 130 again, but it seems like a long way off.

Thanks for reading my rant.
 
I better get a sense of humor about this, because my scale now says 190. I can't even believe it. I have gained 5 pounds in less than 2 weeks of working out daily.
 
Hi and welcome.

I'm going to cut right to the chase:

I am so mad because with all the exercising that I have done at the gym I would have expected to lose at least 5 pounds by now.
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Exercise means squat if you don't control your eating. An hour of hard cardio (hard, sweating, heart rate up there) will burn maybe 500-600 calories. That's 2 rum and cokes. That's 2 candy bars. That's 1/3 of a salad at Chili's. In other words, it's not much. If you're not in control of your eating and drinking you can exercise until your legs fall off, and you won't lose weight. (Well, except for the legs falling off thing! :) )

It is natural for my body to muscle up quickly and it is hard for me to lose weight, but I am scared if I don't lose the weight and just build muscle, I am going to look huge and manly. I am not that feminine to begin with.
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All of these things are myths. :) First of all, women can't become "huge and manly" from proper working out and lifting weights. In order to become "huge" a woman would have to bust her ass lifting HARD and HEAVY weights, eat a very specific diet, and most likely juice up with drugs. Women simply don't naturally have the testosterone to build muscle like that. And it's highly unlikely that you're really building that much muscle anyway - it's more likely that you're firming up the muscle you have which is pushing the layer of fat over the muscle out. It makes you *look* heavier than you are. If you lose the fat and build (i.e. "tone") the muscle, you'll look a lot leaner.

I do drink either beer or rum and diet coke most Saturday nights, and I know that is a lot of bad calories.
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Yup. See my comments above about controlling your food intake. Alcohol is completely and totally wasted calories. One pour of rum is about 100 calories. You have 3 of those and you've just negated a half hour of working out.

Other than that, I love food, and I love to salt the crap out of my food. I LOVE salt. I know I have to quit the salt at least temporarily, but it is going to be hard.
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If you consume a lot of salt, it will cause you to retain fluids which will make you look bloated and hinder your weight loss. If you don't drink enough water on top of that, it'll make the situation worse.

I would strongly suggest that you register with a free site like fitday.com or thedailyplate.com and start logging what you eat - and I mean log EVERYTHING. If you lick the spoon while you're cooking log it. If you eat one small piece of candy, log it. If you take a SIP of beer, log it. This will let you see exactly how many calories you're consuming and how your nutrients are breaking out - and how much sodium you're consuming each day.

At your weight, you should be consuming about 2500 calories to stay the same weight and about 1800 calories to lose weight. Your sodium should be less than 2400 per day. And you should be getting 50% of your food or less from carbs, with the rest split between protein and healthy fats (more protein than fat, but at least 20% fat).

I know it's probably not what you want to hear - but it's the bottom line. Eating is 80% or more of the battle. Exercise is the healthy gravy on top that helps burn more calories, but exercise alone will not cause you to lose weight w/out food control.
 
Oh and btw, fad diets are stupid and unhealthy and borderline dangerous. Ditch the cabbage soup diet now. All you're doing is creating a situation where you'll lose the weight and then gain it all back when you start eating normally again.
 
KaraCooks said:
Oh and btw, fad diets are stupid and unhealthy and borderline dangerous. Ditch the cabbage soup diet now. All you're doing is creating a situation where you'll lose the weight and then gain it all back when you start eating normally again.
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whew I'm glad someone said it, because I would have probably gone off on a tangent!
 
Well thank you for your honest advice. I did lose about 20-25 pounds on the cabbage soup diet in college. The weight did not come back for years, and then it was another situation where it was more of an emotional eating/depression thing again.

I don't think the soup, being all veggies is going to kill me. I am just using it as a tool right now to let me eat something while getting my calories down. I figure I am still going to eat 1000-1200 calories a day, plus a couple bowls of soup so I am not starving to death. I am going to try to just east some fruit and maybe a small regular meal with meat for dinner. I have got on a site with one of the calorie counters. I started keeping track of my food yesterday. I hope it helps.

I am really hungry, though. All the time and I am kind of fixated on food. Has anyone tried hypnotism? I am half-joking here :)

I have not salted any food for the past couple days, and I am back down to 187 which is still 2 pounds more than when I started working out, but at least I am still not gaining.

As far as not bulking up and looking manly, I don't know that I agree with that. All women have different shapes and body types. If I continue to exercise and not lose weight or if I kept gaining weight, it would be not good.

Take Olympic runners. The sprinters body shape looks a LOT different than the distance runners. Guess what? I was a sprinter in high school. Short, muscly "stocky". I have naturally HUGE legs. I can be in great shape with definition from my ankles to my butt, Rock hard, and they are just huge. Cankles and all. If I weighed 100 pounds will never look like my sister who runs full marathons.
 
I figure I am still going to eat 1000-1200 calories a day, plus a couple bowls of soup so I am not starving to death.
[...]
I am really hungry, though. All the time and I am kind of fixated on food
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Do you see the issue here? Or are you just fooling yourself?

As far as not bulking up and looking manly, I don't know that I agree with that. All women have different shapes and body types.
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Whether you agree with it or not, it's fact. Women do not have the genetic ability to bulk up and become "manly" looking.

Take Olympic runners. The sprinters body shape looks a LOT different than the distance runners. Guess what? I was a sprinter in high school. Short, muscly "stocky". I have naturally HUGE legs. I can be in great shape with definition from my ankles to my butt, Rock hard, and they are just huge. Cankles and all. If I weighed 100 pounds will never look like my sister who runs full marathons.
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That is a genetic factor which will remain the same whether you starve yourself or not.
 
Hi Jeanine,
Can I suggest a long term liveable healthy food plan?
There are plenty of choice out there - but yeah it'll take time.

yeah fit day is great, at the moment I am tracking with excel spreadsheet - KJ, fat, fibre, protein and carbs

My plan may be slow - but painfully I know that when I put my mind to it I can lose weight. Sadly for me - I have to keep it off.

So, am looking at my emotional and other triggers as I go.... and its really great being here at the forum.

Good luck Jeanine :)
 
I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I am used to losing weight very quickly, but the last time I "actively" tried to lose weight was probably 10 years ago. 3-4 years ago, I lost 25 pounds for no reason at all, other than I was happy and busy. No exercise, no dieting.

As my title says, this is very frustrating to me. I don't want it to take 3-4 months to lose a noticeable amount of weight. I don't want it to take 9-12 months to lose my goal.

Another huge problem coming up is Thanksgiving, my Birthday, Christmas and New Years are all coming up in the next 7 weeks.

Is everyone else just going to sit around dieting while everyone else is shoveling in the GREAT FOOD? Eating salad and carrot sticks? I don't know that I could even do that. I will not be around that food and not eat it.

I really don't know what I am going to do. It is stressing me out. I swear to God if I had the money I would do something surgically. Not that I am lazy, I actually enjoy the exercising, it is the not being able to eat what I want that I am having a serious problem with. :banghead::banghead:
 
Jeanine said:
I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I am used to losing weight very quickly, but the last time I "actively" tried to lose weight was probably 10 years ago. 3-4 years ago, I lost 25 pounds for no reason at all, other than I was happy and busy. No exercise, no dieting.

As my title says, this is very frustrating to me. I don't want it to take 3-4 months to lose a noticeable amount of weight. I don't want it to take 9-12 months to lose my goal.

Another huge problem coming up is Thanksgiving, my Birthday, Christmas and New Years are all coming up in the next 7 weeks.

Is everyone else just going to sit around dieting while everyone else is shoveling in the GREAT FOOD? Eating salad and carrot sticks? I don't know that I could even do that. I will not be around that food and not eat it.

I really don't know what I am going to do. It is stressing me out. I swear to God if I had the money I would do something surgically. Not that I am lazy, I actually enjoy the exercising, it is the not being able to eat what I want that I am having a serious problem with. :banghead::banghead:
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ok, so then you're not really looking for advice at all. Good to know.
 
Jeanine said:
I swear to God if I had the money I would do something surgically. Not that I am lazy, I actually enjoy the exercising, it is the not being able to eat what I want that I am having a serious problem with. :banghead::banghead:
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Surgery would not be the answer if not being able to eat what you want is your biggest problem!

Even 3-4 years ago can make a big difference in your metabolism, trust me. When I was in high school I lost 65lbs. in about 4 months, and now I wouldn't expect to lose that quickly. I'm still young, but I know that my metabolism isn't what it used to be even 6 years ago in high school.

It comes down to what you really want. If you want to lose the weight for good, then having it take a longer period of time should be a sacrifice you're willing to make. I honestly think that from what you're saying, if you made sure that you were getting your proper water intake and try to cut the salt out slowly, you'd notice a significant (and likely fast) difference.

If you're worried about Thanksgiving and the holidays, then maybe your goal should be to maintain your weight through that time. I know that the holidays are rough (my birthday is December 11th, so I get that part too!). But if you can maintain your current weight through that time period, you know that you'll be doing something right. The best advice I can offer you at Thanksgiving is to choose the healthiest fruits and veggies and eat them first, then the turkey. Try to fill yourself on the healthier foods first so you're less likely to want the really high calorie foods.

You can do this, but you have to be honest and realistic with yourself and what you're willing to do.

I know that I'm not willing to give up all of the foods that I love and start busting my ass at the gym everyday ... so I am taking it slow, ... I've cut out soda and made a few minor changes to my diet and I've lost 3lbs. in a week ... and I hardly even feel like I've been trying.

Changing your lifestyle requires patience, and a willingness to be understanding with yourself and of how realistic your goals are.

Good luck to you.
 
I lost 25 pounds for no reason at all, other than I was happy and busy. No exercise, no dieting.
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Well you know, our bodies change over time. 10 years ago I could lose weight just by cutting back for a week. Now, it's not that easy.

I don't want it to take 3-4 months to lose a noticeable amount of weight. I don't want it to take 9-12 months to lose my goal.
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Sorry, then you're not going to find anyone here who will help you to figure out an unhealthy way to lose weight too fast. The "I want it now mentality" doesn't fly over here. Healthy, reasonable, and sustainable weight loss - that's what we'll help you learn how to do and achieve. If you want someone to tell you how to drop 10 lbs in a week, then you're not going to find the support you want.

Another huge problem coming up is Thanksgiving, my Birthday, Christmas and New Years are all coming up in the next 7 weeks.
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Yep. That's a huge problem for all of us. It's much harder to lose over the holidays than it is any other time of year. Many of us choose to focus on not gaining any additional weight during this time, rather than losing.

I will not be around that food and not eat it.
... it is the not being able to eat what I want that I am having a serious problem wit
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So let me ask you this: When you see something in the store and you want it, do you buy it NOW even though buying it means you won't be able to pay your electric bill or your mortgage or your car payment or put clothes on your kids backs? Do you spend money on everything you want and say "screw being responsible - I want what I want NOW"?

I'll bet you don't. I'll bet you budget your money and pay your bills and buy what you want when you *can*, right?

So why do you think eating is any different. If you're not willing to be an adult, control your eating, and stop thinking like a toddler who wants what she wants when she wants it and screw the consequences, then you're not going to achieve long term success.

You talked about surgery. Do you REALLY think that you can eat what you want after surgery? Have you even though about the consequences of surgery? Let me explain this to you: When you get surgery, you reduce the size of your stomach down to about 3 oz. That means if you eat more than 3oz at a time you risk pain, vomiting, gastric dumping, and possibly a rupture. You can't drink soda after stomach surgery. You have to severely limit fats or risk gastric dumping. For up to 6 weeks after surgery you're restricted to protein shakes and nutritional supplements. After that you're restricted FOR LIFE to limited amounts of food and nutritional supplements.

So if the inability to control what you want to eat when you want it is the problem - then surgery is not going to fix it for you.

Or are you going to have surgery, and then eat what you want anyway, and ... screw the consequences? And, ultimately, is that REALLY the message you want to send to your children? That it's ok to abandon self control when it comes to food because you can "quick fix" it with surgery and fad diets?

Look, I'm not trying to be harsh or rude, but I am being direct: What you want, you can't have. You can't eat eerything you want and still lose weight. If you want to starve yourself on some stupid fad diet and then gain it all back when you go back to eating whatever you want ... that's your choice. But it's not healthy and it's not reasonable.
 
Hi Jeanine,

Yeah I have to agree - easy does it is best long term. For me I think I can quite easily get into the punish and deprive myself VS eat everything I possibly can to "reward" myself cycle!

So, am finding it quite hard doing without - while everyone else is just going for it AND in my own home too! Hmmm, I have a healthy dose of resentment don't I?

There's no long lasting workable short cuts! No free lunches - like "they" say! Still am hoping that I'm growing up a bit - hope to be out of the toddler territory - when it comes to food - but I too want instant gratification - and hate not having it! Am a person of extremes - so going slowly is really good for me - I can really do with long term consistency and self control!

Am thinking that its important to change my thinking about "great food" to calling it what it actually is "rubbish food" - that label makes it easier for me to say "NO" to!

All the best, m :driving:
 
Well, I'm pretty new as well so perhaps I am not the best person to give advice but anyway.

I kind of started with the same mentality of I want this gone fast fast fast, and admittedly I still greatly lack patience as far as waiting for results goes. However along the way I have resigned myself to the realization that it's a lifelong change. Which for someone who has as much of a problem with instant gratification as myself is perhaps proof that it is doable.

I adored food, my vices were tons and tons of 2% milk and sugar in coffee, and snacking to ridiculous proportions after dinner. I used to not eat breakfast, have a huge dinner, and snack all night. Used to love white bread bologna sandwiches with mustard and that garbage processed cheese as my preferred snack of choice.

The point at which I started was I guess deciding that weight loss meant more to me than food. I don't think I would have succeeded to any degree without getting to that point. So I would have to suggest finding that motivation as a first step, above even exercise.

I thought about it quite a bit afterward as to what would make me able to make that change after so many years of being seemingly devoid of willpower, since many people have asked me about it. The best I can figure is I managed to make it an obsession. I decided I wanted to be normal so bad that I was willing to do anything to get to it, and it worked. I gave up all the garbage foods without any relapse simply by remaining completely obsessed with the gratification of seeing the scale drop. I think I have managed to channel my obsessive compulsive nature that led me to obsess about food in the first place into something else.

Along the way though, there were positive changes aside from weight loss. I started to enjoy the sense of accomplishment of not eating lousy foods, and the gratification of eating junk food was replaced more with a sense of regret of eating too much, and to enjoy exercise and being fit. Even setting weight loss aside being able to run, bike, and do things I thought unimaginable was worth it in itself, and not at all tied to being considered the perfect weight or body shape.

In the end, I don't know that I am the best at giving advice but there it is for what it's worth. I hope you find something that works even if it comes out of the most impatient and unrealistic expectations just like I had as well.
 
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Waste of advice for not noticing the original date just because it was at the top I guess.

At least I don't have to worry if it was good or bad I suppose since she will likely never read it.
 
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