Need your advice guys =(

N

Nightshades

New member
Hey Guys,
I'm 22 years old now, and I've suffered from extra weight long time ago.
My mom tried to help me alot. and each time I lost some weight chances happened to gain them again.
Lately (five months ago) I had an awesome bf and I really loved him so much and so it was a great reason for me to lose weight since I weighed 169.4 pounds . I started dieting and excersise and actually the start was awesome, after those four months I lost 19.8 pounds. sadly we broke up... the last week I realized I lost the motivation and I'm eating again. even going to gym started to be boring and hard for me..
and instead of losing weight, I've gained 1 pound extra the last week.
Any advice of how to regain my motivation again =(
 
Nightshades said:
Hey Guys,
I'm 22 years old now, and I've suffered from extra weight long time ago.
My mom tried to help me alot. and each time I lost some weight chances happened to gain them again.
Lately (five months ago) I had an awesome bf and I really loved him so much and so it was a great reason for me to lose weight since I weighed 169.4 pounds . I started dieting and excersise and actually the start was awesome, after those four months I lost 19.8 pounds. sadly we broke up... the last week I realized I lost the motivation and I'm eating again. even going to gym started to be boring and hard for me..
and instead of losing weight, I've gained 1 pound extra the last week.
Any advice of how to regain my motivation again =(
Click to expand...
I really feel for you and I'll give you the advice I've got. While I've not been in your position, I've got some insight into the subject since I've been into fitness and stuff for quite some time and have gained some experience with weight loss.

The physical part of weight loss is not hard if you have the mental game in order. You don't even have to go to the gym to lose weight, absolutely not. If you don't like going to the gym, don't. Instead, find an exercising method you enjoy. It could be jogging in a beautiful park or taking long walks in the morning. Bringing your MP3-player is an awesome mood booster that can change to whole experience of cardiovascular exercise.

Most importantly, as you've already experienced, is staying motivated and dedicated. This is many times considered the hardest part of dieting as it's so easy to give up. What you need is a strong will and a mind focused on your goals. You need to develop discipline. Imagining yourself having the body you desire is great inspiration. Looking at pictures of people with that kind of body should be motivating too. If they can do it, you can.

It sounds easier than it is but, basically, remember why you do it and what you want to achieve. Write down your goals and always keep them in mind. People say that to be happy, you need to focus on what you have instead of what you want. If you want to lose weight, you might want to consider doing the opposite.

It's also vital to always keep a positive attitude. Bah, I could go on forever typing. This was something I wrote quickly in a few minutes, but my last words are chosen carefully:

You must never give up.
 
Last edited:
Exactly as Stuco says...Don't be motivated to be fit for a guy or anyone else...do it for yourself so YOU are healthy
 
Thanks Guys, your advices have really motivated me.
I guess I need to re-arrange my goals from now on ^_^
and I will post any progressive here in the forum .
thanks alot
 
Hey there! Im 21, and I really know how it feels. Its much different for us even in our early 20's to lose weight when compared to someone after say 30. It can be really rough, with school, life long decisions needing to be made, careers, and all that. But the one thing that is completely true is like they said, you need to do it for yourself and not some guy. :doh:

For years ive tried to lose weight, and everytime ive looked for the magic way to do it, and I did it for stupid reasons. "Maybe that girl would like me if I was skinny" "Maybe that group of people would accept me." Finally ive started doing it just for ME and doing it the right way, healthy eating and exercise. Its made all the difference, and for the first time ive stayed on a diet for over 3 weeks. I have a lot more to lose, so if I can do it then theres no doubt you can. If you do it for someone or something, once that thing is gone, you are just going to stop doing it.

Feel free to PM me anytime if you need a buddy. :hug2:
 
Is it really that effective to "do if for yourself"?

I've always been more motivated by "the higher calling" or "the greater good". I've developed my discipline by strong will and dedication to not just look the way I want, but to make an example of myself. My goal is to motivate and inspire others, so I lead by example.

Of course, people are constantly "doing it for themselves" and it works, no doubt about it. It's a way of motivation oneself. But does it really matter WHY we do it? Does the purpose impact so much on our ability to keep focus on our goals and work hard for it?

I'm not saying you should lose weight for someone other than yourself, I'm just generally asking if the dieting becomes easier by doing so. I'm curious.
 
dnordstrom said:
Is it really that effective to "do if for yourself"?

I've always been more motivated by "the higher calling" or "the greater good". I've developed my discipline by strong will and dedication to not just look the way I want, but to make an example of myself. My goal is to motivate and inspire others, so I lead by example.

Of course, people are constantly "doing it for themselves" and it works, no doubt about it. It's a way of motivation oneself. But does it really matter WHY we do it? Does the purpose impact so much on our ability to keep focus on our goals and work hard for it?

I'm not saying you should lose weight for someone other than yourself, I'm just generally asking if the dieting becomes easier by doing so. I'm curious.
Click to expand...


I know this may say corny, and you may not agree.. but I have found it to be very true that if you don't love yourself.. or you are not happy with yourself. It is very hard or nearly impossible to love and be happy with someone else. Just my opinion . I have had a little experience in that department :[

I think thats why people say to do it for yourself, and not anyone else. To each his own though. :]
 
Well yes I agree with you..
but to be honest, my bf was a BIG reason for me to lose weight.
Well when you know someone loves you and see you as best. you have that determination to be the best. he always said "I'm the best" which made me want to be the best, I've changed alot, I've become alot nicer to my family, more helpful , organized my life and even started a serious diet. even when I played sport I had that weird smile upon my face, staring at my body through the mirror was a real pleasure as watching my self losing weight...
Well seriously after we broke up...everything seem to be dull and meaningless ... like yes I want to lose weight, I want to work hard on my life...but sadly I dont know why anymore
 
dnordstrom said:
Is it really that effective to "do if for yourself"?

I've always been more motivated by "the higher calling" or "the greater good". I've developed my discipline by strong will and dedication to not just look the way I want, but to make an example of myself. My goal is to motivate and inspire others, so I lead by example.
Click to expand...

Thats a noble cause, and I totally agree with it if it works for you! Unfortunately not all of us are like that. We do a lot of things for "the greater good" and sometimes we just need to do something for ourselves. I don't want to motivate or inspire others, if they come to me for motivation or inspiration then i'll sure as hell give it! :rotflmao:

I think that the point I and others were making, is that if you do it for something that is not going to be there forever. Then you have a much greater chance of failing. What your doing is fine and is a great goal, there will always be people to motivate and inspire!
 
Aleeluh said:
I know this may say corny, and you may not agree.. but I have found it to be very true that if you don't love yourself.. or you are not happy with yourself. It is very hard or nearly impossible to love and be happy with someone else. Just my opinion . I have had a little experience in that department :[

I think thats why people say to do it for yourself, and not anyone else. To each his own though. :]
Click to expand...
Nah, it's not corny. Actually, I agree with you. If you don't love yourself, you will never achieve real 'harmony' or balance in life. But weight loss isn't really about loving yourself, it's more about loving your body. It sure can be a good start though. :)

I also have some experience regarding this. When I was younger, I had acne and I was very short. People was always pushing me around, referring to me as Little Danny and my self-esteem was very low. Except when it came to computing and programming, but sitting at a computer 10+ hours a day isn't all good.

As time went by, I took accutane and got interested in training and nutrition. My acne went away completely and I'm now greeted with more respect. I'm not big by any means, just fairly well-trained and in fairly good shape (as well as a lot healthier).

But did all this increase my self-esteem? Not nearly as much as I'd expected. True self-esteem comes from the inside but looking the way you want is a good start. And being able to look upon your body as an achievement is even better.

Todays society is messed up badly. Don't believe that beauty goes from outside to inside. But most of the people in here seem to be very decent to say the least, so I think you know this already.

Thanks for everyones interesting input on my question. :)
 
JayJay said:
Thats a noble cause, and I totally agree with it if it works for you! Unfortunately not all of us are like that. We do a lot of things for "the greater good" and sometimes we just need to do something for ourselves. I don't want to motivate or inspire others, if they come to me for motivation or inspiration then i'll sure as hell give it! :rotflmao:

I think that the point I and others were making, is that if you do it for something that is not going to be there forever. Then you have a much greater chance of failing. What your doing is fine and is a great goal, there will always be people to motivate and inspire!
Click to expand...
Interesting, thank you. :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top