Natsky's Diary: 100 pounds to lose!

[Natsky]

hey hey i took the weekend off. I wasn't around, and no i wasn't offended. its great to be comfortable in your own skin! i am happy for you and all the good things going on in your life. i am sure it is such a pleasure to have someone love you head to toe inside and out. You are working on getting your body to where you wan ti to be, so no worries on the parts you don't like we are all works in progress, one day at a time to achieve a higher standard for ourselves Always a pleasure to read your posts, and no, theya re not offensive.

Hello Kureransu,
Thanks. I didn't want to offend anybody, and I am happy I have not offended you. I know some peeps this it is taboo. But it was enjoyable being top model with my fiance lol Its a great experience.

My body is a work in motion. I am thinking of joining karate at the dojo in Rollinsford. I forget what form it is, but it is beautiful. Just a thought. I am thinking about it.

but anyway, I take days off myself, most likely because I have jumped off the wagon lol

hope you are doing well
and will check into your diary, to hear about your time away!

ttylater
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Hello Everyone,
I am thinking I am going to go ahead and join karate at the Rollinsford dojo, dont know how to spell or say the form, but it would be fun, lots of focus and something to do. And very challenging.

But I am not going to join untiil I lose about twenty to thirty pounds. Than I will be more agile, coordination will be better and I will be ready by than to take on anything.

I would like to lose beyond thirty pounds. I hope to reach 200 someday and maybe go lower, but it is going to be awhile before I reach my ultimate goal of 170 pounds. Right now I am about 280 pounds. A twenty or thirty pound loss would bring up the cheers and slow the depression quickly. The depression is horrid and I keep beating myself about my body, but I am not going to let myself refer to myself as fat ... I think it would give me a better attitude, if I looked at what I think is great with me, than what I find to be problem areas. Tomorrow I am taking a thirty to forty minute walk, fast pace, arms swinging. That works on my back, butt, waist, hips, everything. I look forward to it. And I think I am going to carry my two pounds weights. Good stuff.

well ttylater
will report in tomorrow
love yas
Natalie jo
Natsky

 

[veronandez86]

Hello Everyone,
I am thinking I am going to go ahead and join karate at the Rollinsford dojo, dont know how to spell or say the form, but it would be fun, lots of focus and something to do. And very challenging.

But I am not going to join untiil I lose about twenty to thirty pounds. Than I will be more agile, coordination will be better and I will be ready by than to take on anything.

Hey! That sounds like it would be fun and a great workout! I've been thinking about joining a kickboxing or Karate class. Maybe I will. Than at least I could practice at home since my Man use to do Karate and is in some type of Martial Arts now.

Good Luck on the 30 pounds that you want to lose before you take up on the class.

~V

 

[Natsky]

Hey! That sounds like it would be fun and a great workout! I've been thinking about joining a kickboxing or Karate class. Maybe I will. Than at least I could practice at home since my Man use to do Karate and is in some type of Martial Arts now.

Good Luck on the 30 pounds that you want to lose before you take up on the class.

~V

Thanks Veronica, Hey Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I bet you would kick butt at karate or some type of martial arts. Someone from this form, who lives in okinawoa... however you spell it... told me I should take it up and asked me why I hadnt. I told him
I wouldnt be able to keep up, too fat, but than he said... its not whether you can keep up... so dont be afraid of joining... you know..

He is so right, but they pick you when you are going to go and test. Its like a lottery, you win a lot of katta... and than you test with Master Keysay... the old man from okiniawoa... who is the master of Derek's type of martial arts, or form.

and than you do sparring, some real kick butt stuff. I mean you really do kick boxing moves and do it fiercely, no faking. Ive watched them in their testing ... oy vey .. I would probably get a concussion... no coordination ...lol is lacking ...thats why I am waiting until I am 250 .. I have dropped below 280 .. I am 279.8 ...
I know its only .2 oz ....but its something ...and I have not touched any ice cream for a few days. I eat jello with real strawberries inside .. once my hair has grown in, I am going to put a pic up on my avatar for this site. My hair is getting longer. The people from the place Derek got his hair done, said that to grow long hair quicker than usual, you can use jello... its the nox in jello ... so I eat a half free suger and half suger jello mix ...and I have half frozen fruit in it ..it is so refreshing .. yum .. when I get up to eat at night .. I eat some jello and thats it ... I get so hungry at night ...because my sugar drops tooooo low ...

anyway things are heading in a better place ..
going to talk with my doc about getting on ridlin ...

ttylater
love yas
Natsky

 

[cherrygarcia]

hey natsky,
just read some of your above posts...seems like your doing great! aw, and i thought the post about the pics was sooo romantic, and no way was it offensive, i thought it's really sweet that you and your man both took eh should i call them 'naughty pics' lol!

for now i'm single but when i do get a man i hope i can be comfortable enough with myself and my body to do the same!

will try and read some more of your diary to see how your getting along....all the best xoxo.

 

[ABBAgirl]

Hi, sweetie!
So pleased to know that you and your fella are still making one another happy, and moving forward with your romantic plans. Ain't love grand?

My youngest daughter was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at the end of March, and it has pretty much thrown me for a loop, so I haven't been around the forum much. I am maintaining but never did crack that 150 barrier again.

Love your positive attitude lately, Nat. Did you join the dojo? I am getting ready to do another bootcamp, even though I don't have the energy!

All for now, luv. Take care,
ABBA

 

[GreenAlchemist]

The Burrito Diet

Hey there everyone.

for anyone who wants to lose weight and KEEP it OFF I would recommend the "Burrito Diet". You get to eat a yummy variety of foods that are filling, but portioned appropriately. Combine this with a healthy exercise program, and you will be at the weight you want to be, and Maintain a 10% body fat.

Learn more here -

Hope this helps

 

[Natsky]

hey natsky,
just read some of your above posts...seems like your doing great! aw, and i thought the post about the pics was sooo romantic, and no way was it offensive, i thought it's really sweet that you and your man both took eh should i call them 'naughty pics' lol!

for now i'm single but when i do get a man i hope i can be comfortable enough with myself and my body to do the same!

will try and read some more of your diary to see how your getting along....all the best xoxo.

Thanks Cherry,

It was romantic and wonderful while he and I were taking pics. The lightening was low...it was nice. I am so in love. We have been together for a year. Its nice.

Thanks for stopping in and if you have a diary, I will stop by...

ttylater
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Hi, sweetie!
So pleased to know that you and your fella are still making one another happy, and moving forward with your romantic plans. Ain't love grand?

My youngest daughter was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at the end of March, and it has pretty much thrown me for a loop, so I haven't been around the forum much. I am maintaining but never did crack that 150 barrier again.

Love your positive attitude lately, Nat. Did you join the dojo? I am getting ready to do another bootcamp, even though I don't have the energy!

All for now, luv. Take care,
ABBA

Hey Janice,
Nice to see you!! Yea diabeties is tuff. I am pre. Trying very hard not to head into full on insulin. Right now I am on metformin. Which does take the belly fat off... the lower belly fat. I will be on it for the rest of my life. But its ok. I am happy my doc is on top of things and I am keeping track and trying to get better at reaching a healthy weight and overall good health..

thanks for stopping by hun
love yas
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Hello everyone,
Well it is two am in the morning, nearing the half past mark. My kitten has taken over the bed.

I am hoping to be 277 to 278 on Friday for the May challenge. I think I shall get there. I am at 279.8 right now. My diet is going well. And I have picked up the pace on walking and swinging my arms when I walk...

my goal is 250 for now. Thus about thirty pounds, than I will make a new goal. I am happy to say I am back and happy ...

ttylater everyone
love yas
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

ani_mia

So hello everyone,

Today's subject is ani_mia. One thing I hate is this thing, you could call hating my body, started when I was 16. Regardless of the fact the hottest boy in school thought I was hot. Yet my body was never good enough for my family. I was called "thunder thighs" by my mom. And my grandmother was always on me about my weight, which I weighed a perfectly fine weight than, but my grandmother was anorexic all her life, so not a good lead example. Now the doctors are forcing her to eat. Because otherwise she will die. and she has agreed to eat, but the damage has been done. I was anorexic starting at 16. I would not eat for some odd amount of weeks and than binge. Now when I was in college I went as far as to not eat for three months, just have shakes with fruit. Unluckily I was not taking laxitives so that sortof blew up in my face. Yes I lost sixty pounds in three months, which everybody thought was wonderful, but I ended up in the emergency room due to some complications. My organs didnt like how I was treating my body, by not eating....


now I weigh around 280 and I still binge ... I binge from stress mainly. And the way I stress is dumb. Its over anything. I suffer from depression usually, but the Wellbutrin is finally kicking my attitude up a notch and making me forget about food. But I get stressed over the smallest things or even big things, like having the money to get new glasses and have a exam taken, or getting my teeth done after eleven years... oy vey ...

so I am binging during the day and at night. I thought I was doing pretty good, but now I am binging more food at night and I am at a loss for words. I eat cereal at night. It would be nice to think I would love or could have a food therapist, not enough money unfortunately. But I do have a regular therapist that mainly works with peeps suffering from anxiety. And I think that my main problem...

so what are your thoughts? probably speechless?

well I could throw some more woes in there, but I really only feel like talking about those... the others... well leave those for another day lol

but any suggestions on how to stop stress eating? or to stop binging during the day and night? I am very aware of what I do, but all I think about is now, not the future, like what it will do to my body..

I wish somebody could slap me across the head and I would wake up from this fully aware and know what to do, but .. ugh

so anyone have any advice or been through similar things?


later peeps
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

No binging last night!

So Derek made my jello, of Raspberry and strawberries in the jello. It was so good. I ate the whole thing, luckily its only sugar free and I loved the strawberries. Between last night and this morning it was gone. But a good move. I now weigh less than 280, just because I cut that all out, all the icky food. lol

Hopefully it will work tonight, but we are all out of fruit, so maybe mom will spare some for me. She gives me A LOT of fruit, frozen from the last year of picking. Hopefully she will offer some fruit up today, would be nice!!!! but if she doesnt I will just have to figure out something else. Its sad when you dont have an alternative. I dont know what to do. Jello with out the fruit doesnt cut it. And I have only one more packet off jello. I need to buy more. Icks. Yikes. Well this will go on and maybe I can get some fruit out of mom..

well ttylater
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Seeking and reaching balance!

Hello everyone,
I am trully sorry I haven't gotten to anyone's diaries. I have been absorbed with family problems, fiance problems, about my weight, my body image to myself, gain and loss of weight. I tend to avoid the WLF when I am facing such issues, when I really should be going full speed ahead. But I mope.

but not anymore!!!!!!!!

I now weigh 276.8, coming down from a 289... it feels good to be losing again. I fought the year before last to lose fifty horrible pounds that were making me immobile. Thats what made me move, when I couldn't make it off the couch just about, when it hurt to walk, when my breath ran out from a single step ...thats when I decided to make the journey.... and than in June 2008 I made my way on this forum. And I have found my old thread, but I have decided no turning back. So I am not going back to that thread, I am sticking with the new one, with the brand new me.

My sister resented me for a while, because she had to take care of me, when I was crippled with JRA. This was after she finally had beaten Hodgkins lymphoma. Now I felt bad, and it sucks she never had a childhood, I was nine and I was not in control of who took care of me. My mother was working and we were poor. When we finally came into money, we went nuts. Christmas was a jam packed session with presents all over the place. Now its two presents per person, we have found balance.

Now its time for me to find balance. When I moved to Rochester I had lost the fifty pounds and left behind an area where they were cheering me on down the block. It was nice living in my last place. Hills everywhere, work outs were easy, no need for a gym.

but now I live in my new city, probably for the rest of my life...
its flat, everyone around here are flat landers. I hated being here, people yelled out the window last summer rude things, they yelled I had a fat ass down the side walk, repeating it over and over and over. It was horrible and after all the cheering, when I found all the terrible people making fun of me because of my weight. I was scared to go out, scared, just horribly scared and was back into my social anxiety, like it had never been. I am ok in small crowds, but in large crowds I freak.

but since my weight loss and change of diet I am feeling better and wanted to share with you about my balance. Thats what I am learning about in menopause and family trouble that is now leaving me... my sister has since summer of last year taken back the resentment and calls me everyday ..its good ...but I realized something about this past year, I had no balance, thus no life, thus no happiness...

but I am actually working on this, I am actually becoming happy with my body, even at 276. I think I am sexy. but I will be happier at a lower and healthier weight. I dont want to look like "when I feel I am not fat I will be pretty, people will love my body." Thats not for me. I love my body, somedays is harder than others, but I am not going to beat on myself anymore, neigther am I going to mope. I walked today in the heat, of course in chick little knickers and a sexy top... I am dressing nice during exercise so I dont get laughed at. It actually feels good to walk down the street and not have problems. Plus I am used to the area. I have the commons I am going to tomorrow. Going to bring my music that I used to lose fifty pounds and I want to get down to 250 pounds. That would be a sweet and healthier deal. Taking one day at a time. And loving what the scale says.

I shall get to others diaries soon...

thanks for reading
love yas
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Hello..... lol whoever reads this.

Well what a week. The scale was very kind to me last week, and I havent weighed myself yet. Will be doing that tomorrow morning. I tend to stay away, because I start freaking out with flucuations, so its better to stick with once or twice a week to gve me a general idea of where I am headed. But I didnt check mid week, however I must say, most likely, this will be a not so great weigh in.


There was a birthday at the Olive Garden last weekend. There was a morning, we had breakfast at Friendlies. And there was one time we had lunch at friendlies. I must say however that I am now having a not so great time with chocolate. Since staying away from it, I get a stomache if I have even one bite... go me!!!


How did I find out. Well my mother offerred me a piece of chocolate. Took one bite and I wanted to hurl, so I passed it off back to her and my fiance. Good stuff, no more chocolate. One problem solved or taken care of. I sometimes eat at night, and usually its rarely a huge binge. Trying very hard to cut out the night snacking all together, but its hard when your an insomniac. No sleep unless I take a benadryl. I take a half usually and that lets me sleep half the night, the kitten however finds he must play at all hours of the night, so thats why half the night only. And than I sleep in, miss the sun, and don't go for a walk from being too tired. Love the kitten, but dont want to stick him in the bathroom all night. Want him to roam free, but there are times roaming free means attacking me at night, ugh. No fun, expecially when he lands on my lower abdomen, where my bladder is....

he will go from the side, I will shove him off, or drop him down, and than after five tries, he goes at the head of the bed and jumps on my head and hair and attacks my hair, after that he attacks from the bottom...ugh ...than he crashes between Dereks leg on top of the blanket. He wanted to crash between my legs, but I was tired of being used as a play toy ... lol love him ... but wow we need to figure something out, because this no sleep deal is bad.

In two months he will get snipped ... seriously ...and than he is supposedly slowly going to slow down a little and be a little more calm than a greyhound. I really hope so... lol
Ive had him since he was seven weeks... I would never be rid of him. No one can seperate us. I miss him during the day, but he drives me insane with no sleep at night, alllll night lol

but I play with him during the day, but the little bugger runs off midday and sleeps...and I wish I could make him tired enough to sleep on the bed, instead of attacking me all night on the bed lmao ...but we found some toys he loves. So we played tonight and he seems to be taking a liking to my flowers, oy vey ... I am trying to teach him the word no ... Derek is being listened to, but forget me lol I am a free for all. Any suggestions on obnoxious cat tricks to teaching him the word no would be great, I think I am ready for the speay bottle at this rate lmao

anyway tomorrow going to the commons ... music,... long stride.... heart quickening ...should be good ...

I went down one shirt size.... Im happy... bought tanks tonight to wear while walking, but it has been so cold.. .my mother just keeps reminding me..."its not officially summer yet dear" ..oh well ..sun, warmer weather ... can't wait. I just hope I dont drop from the eighty and ninety degree weather with the humidity on high...lots of water this summer.. its been rather dry recently ...

well talk to you later
love yas
Natsky

 

[cherrygarcia]

hey natsky,
just wanted to say thanks for passing by my diary...seems like your doing great, you've gone down one shirt size? nice! i'm so looking forward to the day my clothes start being loose, but i have to be patient as this journey is a long one.

OMG that kitten sounds like a lil devil...lol! but sounds really adorable too!, i'd really love a pet of my own.

k, gotta go for now, glad to know your doing good, will pass by another time xoxo

 

[Natsky]

hey natsky,
just wanted to say thanks for passing by my diary...seems like your doing great, you've gone down one shirt size? nice! i'm so looking forward to the day my clothes start being loose, but i have to be patient as this journey is a long one.

OMG that kitten sounds like a lil devil...lol! but sounds really adorable too!, i'd really love a pet of my own.

k, gotta go for now, glad to know your doing good, will pass by another time xoxo

Thanks Cherry,
Actually I moved up the shirt size again. It was definitely a dissappointment. But I am saving the tanks I got for when I get smalleer again.

I was 235 and am back down to 279.6... its really hard for me to maintain and move down. I don't know exactly whats going on. I could say I am coming out of the hole I have been in for the past three years. I was definitely in a big old hole with almost no hope it seemed, but now I am doing better and learning new things about myself. I just wish there was more to Rrochester than flat land lol but the commons are beautiful. lol

ttylater hun
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

hey natsky,
just wanted to say thanks for passing by my diary...seems like your doing great, you've gone down one shirt size? nice! i'm so looking forward to the day my clothes start being loose, but i have to be patient as this journey is a long one.

OMG that kitten sounds like a lil devil...lol! but sounds really adorable too!, i'd really love a pet of my own.

k, gotta go for now, glad to know your doing good, will pass by another time xoxo

Thanks Cherry,
Actually I moved up the shirt size again. It was definitely a dissappointment. But I am saving the tanks I got for when I get smalleer again.

I was 285 and am back down to 279.6... its really hard for me to maintain and move down. I don't know exactly whats going on. I could say I am coming out of the hole I have been in for the past three years. I was definitely in a big old hole with almost no hope it seemed, but now I am doing better and learning new things about myself. I just wish there was more to Rrochester than flat land lol but the commons are beautiful. lol

ttylater hun
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

I have planned and am doing!

So I was bleeding, and I was having abdominal pain. I have since gone to my pcp and she says my blood work came out ok. But now I will have to go to the gastro- intestinal doctor and get a full look. A couple peeps in my family have died of cancer and most importantly, colon cancer. Since being on ibuprofen all my life and the higher dosages as the arthritic pain would come back, I never noticed what was going on with my body.

So my arthritic doctor put me on 2400 mg of Ibuprofen a day. At first I just took two and than the stomach pains started happening even worse. And after a while I started bleeding. So I came off ibuprofen, but that wasn't the end of it. The headaches were horrible. And I couldnt sleep. And than with the humidity came the pain. Pain that I havent felt since I was 13 years old. Crippling pain. I was crippled when I was younger. I had to be bathed, fed, fed drinks, etc by my sister mostly and my mother. My mother was working, thus my older sister had no childhood. Sad, but true. And before she was stuck taking care of me, she had went through five years of having stage four hodgkins lympoma... which she actually beat. This is the one that now they have no cure for. This was when kemo first hit and it could take out some major cancers. But my grandfather died of colon cancer. I never knew that.

Well the pain was too much, no sleep led to a b***** natalie. So I started taking smaller doses of ibuprofen, but than I bled more. It was horrible. So I quickly removed it from my system over the past five days and now am in so much pain, but so much happier. The ibuprofen made me an insomniac. I couldnt get any sleep.

I was eating at night, to keep busy. To go to sleep. It had become this ritual where I had to eat three times a night to go to sleep. Than two, than once a night. I have been fighting the addicting eating at night thing for a while. I always lost, until now...

I have not ate at night for four nights!!!!!!!!!!!!!

because I am not on ibuprofen..
does help that wellbutrin has taken over the urges and I dont think of food that often. If anything I have been eating too little, wierdness. But no more snacking at night, sometimes after dinner grab something, but most of the time I go to bed with out a snack and dont wake up to have any.

Now I am being put on celebrex. And I made sure it did not make me bleed and it won't make me not able to sleep. I am happy, really happy, and really losting weight.

I have lost eight pounds so far, since three months ago. I just saw my doctor, or pcp, and I was 291 last time I saw her and I weighed myself last Friday and I was 281.2... so that is about eight pounds. To think Ibuprofen, something that is supposed to help was really doing a lot of damage. My stomach is getting smaller... I can feel it... I take much smaller portions, and they are getting tinier every week. Its not going to happen all at once. I started this whole change quest for a year. But now I am finally seeing results....

and since I am in pain from the arthritis. Its all over. My ankles, my toes, my hands, my knuckles, my hip, my knees, my spine, my neck, everywhere.... its is all over...

and I dont want to be stuck in a wheel chair, so I have some activites planned for my fiance and I that involve walking. The commons, the store for ant bait traps. In all whatever I plan will be a three to four mile walk or more. Its sunny, no rain until later, sounds good to me.

although he is mussing up my day... but maybe he will make it home when I planned for him to be home, four pm. if not, than I guess I take the bus to the natural foods store and do some gardening with Rich and my fiance, Derek and we do my plans afterwords. But I have a feeling my plans might break through, or seep through the cracks. The best made plans might just not happen. Such is life. Right when I thought I could get us going, because he is gaining weight too, we really need to work on this.

well ttylater all
will get around to all, and I mean ALL

diaries..
love yas
Natsky
always **hugs**

 

[Natsky]

Todays plans were bombed, slightly!!

My plan was to walk, walk alot, go have a little ice cream, after all my vigilance in losing much needed lossage of weight. I realize this sounds odd, not really words, but work with me. I am pissed.

My fiance knows of the plans I had today, but he is at Richard's house, helping Rich Garden. Granted rich can't see his feet, and it is sad, but man has he lost a lot of weight. Thinking of asking him what he is doing. U know, but anyway so I had taken the bus down to Dover, thirty minute ride, and my arthritis was killing me in the humidity while I ended up standing for a full hour, before they picked me up. ugh

We got ice cream, but I didn't get my romantic walk. I got farther away than city hall from home and walked the rest of the way. How darn romantic. Walking by myself and he is going to be so late. I was thinking we could take a stroll, nope, I guess I am stuck cleaning the kitchen ...oh well ..

better, hopefully next time the plans will happen... here to hopes and dreams. I love walking with Derek, we walk, while I swing my arms and power walk. I can walk while talking, its wierd, when I breathe out I form a sentence and than
I pause when I breathe in, hey works for me.

next I am bringing music to the commons..
next ten days rain. But hey, thats what they made umbrellas for!!!

love yas
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Im back!! 12-08-2009!

Well folks, I am back, but I missing my peeps from my old diary, nataliejo...

so
I think I may write some folks and tell them how I have been doing and ask them how they have been, and thats where I shall start myself coming fill tilt into the community.


Well, I weighed myself today, and after eating breakfast and lunch, I weighed 280.2 pounds. This is a big loss for me. Last summer I went up to 295 pounds. I have worked very hard, monitering my diet and what not to reach this goal weight. I am thinking, maybe, if I weigh myself in the morning, I may weigh less, like below 280, which would FINALLY bring me into the 270s once again and man would that be awesome!!!


I am doing this, and it feels damn good. I plan to go to a Christmas party tomorrow. I will try to be as good as I can. I guess its supposed to be fun, and other than family parties, I have never been to a real Christmas party. I feel like I am on top of the world. Making friends finally. Heather, this person I met, wants to do things with me, so we were thinking, walking would be an awesome idea. I am so psyched. I like having someone to chat and walk with. Although it is getting very cold here. I live in the New England area of the USA. I live in NH. At least its not as cold as the northern parts, like around the white Mtns. But its still a bit cold. We are getting a snow storm tomorrow, but there is no way I am missing this party.

anyway, things are going good.

love always
Natalie jo