Natsky's Diary: 100 pounds to lose!

[sophia28]

Wow Natsky everything is coming up roses for you, I am so pleased.

Especially about the news that you're no longer diabetic

PLUS your blood pressure has improved and resting heart rate.... ooooooh it's all looking so positive.......!

And last but not least you have this gym which will really motivate you to get social and get some support with the Curves prog, and best of all a swimming pool --- such a fantastic sport, it really is. Plus if you go with your man that's twice the fun, while you improve your muscle tone and burn calories. I am soo jealous cos I love swimming.

I am sooo pleased things are going so well for you ... You just keep aiming for the top of those hills and you'll get to all your goals, I just know it.

Well done also on managing not to eat at night or at least cutting down a bit which is excellent ... I do the same thing. NO food after dinner.

I'd read the Turbo Jam and Slim in 6 'diet sheets' and both had the rule of NO FOOD after dinner -- and it really makes sense, because that is the time when we are most likely to be up and about snacking. And by God do those snacks add up!!

Luckily so far I am succeeding in eating nothing at all after my last meal...... I just started cutting down slowly and you see, eventually it becomes possible & becomes second nature to just go to bed without a snack. If you wean yourself off slowly you can do it too.

Most people don't bed-snack anyway, so I don't feel too deprived when I think of it like that^.

Take care of yourself, glad things keep looking up for you!! {{{ HUGS }}}

 

[Natsky]

Wow Natsky everything is coming up roses for you, I am so pleased.

Especially about the news that you're no longer diabetic

PLUS your blood pressure has improved and resting heart rate.... ooooooh it's all looking so positive.......!

And last but not least you have this gym which will really motivate you to get social and get some support with the Curves prog, and best of all a swimming pool --- such a fantastic sport, it really is. Plus if you go with your man that's twice the fun, while you improve your muscle tone and burn calories. I am soo jealous cos I love swimming.

I am sooo pleased things are going so well for you ... You just keep aiming for the top of those hills and you'll get to all your goals, I just know it.

Well done also on managing not to eat at night or at least cutting down a bit which is excellent ... I do the same thing. NO food after dinner.

I'd read the Turbo Jam and Slim in 6 'diet sheets' and both had the rule of NO FOOD after dinner -- and it really makes sense, because that is the time when we are most likely to be up and about snacking. And by God do those snacks add up!!

Luckily so far I am succeeding in eating nothing at all after my last meal...... I just started cutting down slowly and you see, eventually it becomes possible & becomes second nature to just go to bed without a snack. If you wean yourself off slowly you can do it too.

Most people don't bed-snack anyway, so I don't feel too deprived when I think of it like that^.

Take care of yourself, glad things keep looking up for you!! {{{ HUGS }}}

Actually it was rosy for a day, not so rosy now. But thanks for the hugs. Everyone needs some hugs, especially when trying to lose a large amount of weight. We can get down on ourselves. Thanks much for stopping by hun

always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

"Every day I write the book..."

Listening to Elvis Costello's "Every day I write the book"

Derek doesn't like it. I thought of him when I heard it lol. It says "I am giving you the best parts of my life."

So ugh, he just doesnt know taste sometimes, when it comes to music anyway lol jk ...well I thinkkkk its true. Still getting to know him. Aren't we all always learning about our loves everyday. Something new astonishes me about him. He loves my hair, wierd. He is not like any other guy I have ever been with. He is loving, caring and cleans, even though I have to ask him to clean, but he does it!!! lol

I have been severly depressed. Early menopause will do that to you. Getting the labwork near the end of the month. I have to call the doctor for my lab paper again so I can get it done next week. not the menopause one, but the other normal lab work. Cholesterol, sugar level, etc.

But I am having a physical and discussing early menopause with her, but tomorrow I am getting a script that will put me on the rag after this month. I am so going into depressions and what not. If I could just get the rag over with and get it out of the way and than be normal happy self that would be wonderful.

In May, before I moved to this little city I was happy and walked down the street proud and happy, not so now. I am always thinking about what peeps think about me or my waistline, because I was so teased, my mind was tolled on or taxxed over all the verbal abuse I got from cars and from kids, just walked around me.

The kids are so bad these days!!

But I hope by the end of spring I will be able to walk on my own and walk up the hill at high view. I really need hills to make any mark in the waist line. And I am diabetic, pre diabetic anyway. I am taking metformin with it. The metformin makes the sugar and insulin work right, which actually controls the ups and downs you get with sugars up and downs as well. You can be high as a kite or down so low, you are exhausted and havent done anything...

So back to metformin...

and back to a happier me...

Anyway, I am working on saving for glasses. And we are still possibly planning the ceremony at the apple orchard. Derek wants to do, so willing he is buying the dress, but I think I would rather wear this great tank top with velvet pants. I look beautiful in it. I don't know what to do. So utterly confused ...ugh ..

but anyway ...

Not much up. Probably have gained weight, but havent looked at the scale. Had a break down today over getting frustrated at the hanging rack for not acting as it should, kept falling on me. So I threw myself on the bed and let Derek take care of it. He helped me with the laundry. He is trying to help me get through this hard time in my life. If its menopause, its going to be a long, hard road ahead of me.

ttylater all
((hugs)) to everyone!

always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

"You are what you eat.."

I am what I eat. I eat at night twice or three times, now because of the acid that builds in my stomach. It hurts so bad at night, I don't know what to do. So I am getting Zantac today, because I have used it before. And I stopped eating at night using it. Its the only way I shall be able to stop. My stomach is killing me now, but I am going to force myself to wait until lunch to eat. And than later I am taking the bus down to Dover and hanging with my fiance. We are just going to wander around. It will be fun!!

anyway so I weighed 280.4 this morning around nine am. Which is when I weigh myself. Just in May I weighed 269 pounds. I had finally gotten out of the 270s. I feel like a failure, a total and complete failure. I need to think hard about what I want and what I need to do to attain these goals.

170 pounds is my first goal
Walking outside by myself.
Going to the library on my own.

They have Betrayed up at the front desk for me.

Looking forward to reading that book!! I have been waiting forever for this book. Everybody has wanted it and has it on hold!

I am reading a series about the peeps that were a live in the beginning of the last ice age. The language, etc. They dont have much on them. But this woman wrote a quartet of books, about the dark and the light (nothing religious) and how Bards had these elemental powers and were able to fight off the dark. So its interesting. Just going to keep reading those. They are really good. And reading some manga, among other omnibusses of comics. Dark comics about cute little dead girls, who have slumber parties lmao

wierd stuff
anyway ttylater
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Hello everyone,
regardless of my recent gaining weight. I have decided to get off my duff and do something about it, instead of cry and whine and self loathe. So there is a curves on ten minutes down the road. I am joining it!!!!!! I am so excited. I have only heard good things about it and they tailor your exercise regime to you. Its all calculated and stuff. I think finding this place was the best thing for me.

I have been in a major depression and lapsing back, but I am looking to the future, and when we have our ceremony I want to have my longl luxurious hair back and I want to be at least down to 170, at least. It would be wonderful if I could get down to 250... I have decided I would like it next May. I know we will have been together for two whole years. Enough time for me to plan to ceremony and what not. Enough time to save money for the ceremony. Maybe rent a hall... etc. We have to think ahead. I want to be on that dance floor with my fiance all night and be able to walk around to tables with our thinking about my weight, except knowing that I look beautiful!!
I know my belly is beautiful now. For some odd reason I have grown to love its shape, the plumpness, but I need to lose weight. And it feels strange to be happy with the tummy. When its big, but I do!

but I will love it even more so when I can fit into size 16 again!~ lmao

Right now I am a size 22, but I want to be a size 18 by the end of summer! Heres hoping and knowing it can be done!! Cheers!!

so I am on this path, this road and I have decided to take control. I only ate one thing last night. I took some zantac and it took away most of the acidic pain in my stomach, recent.. I dont know what is going on with the stomach. But I need it to stop eating at night. So thats all good. I think I am going to really rock this spring and summer!

ttylater
love yas
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Ive lost weight!!

Ive lost weight. I was 280.4, and now I am 277.4!! I have cut out most chocolate.

I just had a mini cup of vanilla ice cream with some choco sos in it. My fiance and I shared that with another one of vanilla with strawberry sos.

but no friendlies huge cup or bowl of ice cream anymore, I go small now and only once in a while. I think I might time it out to once or twice a month we go ahead and indulge in some soft serve. And soft serve vanilla is 99 percent less fat than regular ice cream. But these cups were one of those ones you buy in little conveniance stores with wooden spoons. We just sat around in the mail room talking with everyone and sharing our ice cream and sweet tea.

My sugar has been good, but I still need one metformin. But I am a-ok with that. My sugar was 102 this morning, after a ten hour fast. Tomorrow it will be a ten hour fast again, almost eleven. I am preparing for the twelve hour fast I must do before the end of next week. I am going to do it either this Friday or next Monday.

and I made an appointment with Curves. And they are going to show me the ropes. Fun fun fun!! I am so super-excited about my giant leap toward a happier and healthier me. I also get to waver the 199.00 fee for curves, because I am buying a full bag of groceries for the Food Pantry and giving it to Curves and I will just have to pay 39 dollars come next month!! I am just going to have Derek walk me there and I will walk back. I want to do it at eleven in the morning. Take a shower, put the exercise duds on and go work out for a half hour. And than I will come home, rinse off in the shower. I am so excited, wait didn't I already say that!! lol I have heard such great things about Curves, bully for me!!

ttylater
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Hello everyone,

I slept over my mom's house last night. She had chocolate everywhere and guess what. I inhaled most of it. Ugh!!!!!!!!!


But I was able to do a ten hour fast the night before that.

and so I shall do another ten hour fast tonight. IT will be hard going for the first night to more, and endless nights with out food, but I will be happy in two weeks, because the stomach pains will be gone and I will be not eating at night anymore, nore have the urge to eat at night, as long as I have carbs during the day.

I never knew carbs were the key. But eating something, like a slice of bread or a dabble of pasta, actually keeps me going all night. Takes the stomach pains out...its a sweet deal.

so thats why I have lost three pounds so far.

also I have an appointment with Curves next week. I have already started tailoring my diet during the day, its getting good. No more eating out, but tomorrow night I am eating at Friendlies, but no huge ice cream for me. Two scoops only. Thats what I do now. I don't eat much ice cream anymore. I used to have like five scoop ice creams. but now I only have two or a little bar of ice cream once in a while. Slowly cutting out the not so great habits. Portion control is showing, its all good, eating less at dinner, eating normal portions at breakfast and mixing fake eggs with real eggs and the fiance said it tastes fine. So thats all good. More veggies as usual.

well it seems to be working on and working on... the plan of action is starting and my weight loss goals are sure to be a bet!!

love yas
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Hello to whoever takes the time to read my diary, I just wanna say thanks. Sometimes I feel like I am talking with air lol or writing for myself. I do enjoy going on about myself. I have been looking to socialize on this site. Seeing new peeps and hoping to write into their diaries, but they never seem to have a diary. I love the constant chat through diaries, who doesnt?

Anyway,

I have found that the peeps that were writing in my diary, havent even written in their own diary. I really do hope they are ok. When I don't write in my diary or others, it means I am usually getting down on myself about my weight, eating more, less movement and gaining weight. Which usually means I feel to guilty to come on and hold myself accountable. Now that I realize I have reached a dillemma, I plan to fix it. I thought the active price tag, from Curves could work for me, but that is much to organized for me. I am going to start walking up this one huge hill, yes there is one hill in Rochester, NH, its to the high view hotel and leads out of Rochester. Rochester is one flat area of city. No bumps or hills to speak of. So I am planning my attack. Walking to the city limits, which is only thirty minutes away and start the hike up the hill. And maybe everyday I walk up, I will walk further, until I am at the top and walking down the otherside, only to walk back up the hill to come back to Rochester lol

sounds good to me!
so tomorrow its high view, Thursday its Somersworth, where there is a series of hills. My mother lives in my old city, and you had to walk up in order to leave my street, most obviously called Water street, which had been built over the river. Salmon falls river. So now Thursday should be a blast, last time we went, we walked up this wonderful hill and I was so happy to be there. And I will be happy to treck the old area once again, Compared to Rochester its back country lol

but anyway.... so tomorrow high view, today I walked from 11am to 3 pm ... talk about walking and I walked a fast pace, my instep was killing me. I have Juvenile Rhematiod Arthritis, An auto immune deficiancy, which doesnt want me to walk, just sit all day and eventually end up in a wheel chair. Not happening here, or not until I am old and gray or losing my freaking hair ... thats how old I would have to be, bed ridden. lol I will use a walker most likely when I reach my seventies or eighties. Because this summer sometimes I had to use a cane during the thunderstorms. Than I forgot the cane and dealt with the pain. Its the only think I could think of. Because what doth come after a cane. Reliance on objects, crippling objects to depend on to move around, and no way will that be me. I am not going to let myself become dependent, I am going to lose weight and become healthier than that.

Well thats all for now.

ttylater all
love yas
Natsky

 

[kureransu]

you're not alone.

hi,

I just jumped in to say you are not talking to air. its just a little daunting to post in so many threads for some. a lot of people read, but never post. congratulations on all your current success especially not being a diabetic anymore. you are working hard and it is showing. keep it up!

 

[Natsky]

hi,

I just jumped in to say you are not talking to air. its just a little daunting to post in so many threads for some. a lot of people read, but never post. congratulations on all your current success especially not being a diabetic anymore. you are working hard and it is showing. keep it up!

thanks you so much for stopping in Kureransu.. I appreciate it. I keep wandering through this site, trying to find peeps with common goals. I went to the 200 plus club, which I like very much. I saw some of my old friends there. I was on here back in June 2008, since I started my journey, I have lost virtually forty pounds. It was very difficult when I reached my fifty pound plateau at 270. I used to be 320, which when you almost cant get out of a couch, because you are so overweight, than you know you have to change what u are doing and start caring. And now the plateau hit in May and I have gained back some pounds. I hope, no, I know I will come down further.

thanks for your input!

always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Hello all,
Well today has been an ordinary day of sorts, except!! I went with out a jacket and had a tank top on. And the cool breeze would swoosh my hair around a little, and the sun was so warm it seemed to melt my fear of going outside. I shall be walking up to the hospital for a walk and walk around it. Its on a huge hill and I just walk on the sidewalk that leads to the emergency room and go around the whole building and down the otherside. Its nice. Its where my doctors are located. Sometimes I like to stop in, during summer time, to take a break and socialize with the staff. Some have changed, but its nice to see their faces. They are wonderful. Ive known them for the past seven to eight years. They are almost like family, except they are factual and tell you how it is. Actually the reason I started losing weight was because of this certain office. I was 320 pounds and the doc looked at me and said " if you don't do something and start losing you are going to continue to have problems with your pcos and are very good candidate for cancer" cervical and uteran cancer. So I agreed and my mouth was wide. And the words hit me hard and thats when I pushed my butt out the door and starting halling but. I even started jogging, but I have become so unhealthy that I couldn't run on these knees. And I have Juvenile Rhematiod Arthritis, which is an auto immune difficiency. Difficult to walk, when your bones are cranky, but summer is here and regardless of the thunderstorms and rain, I will be out there. I walked through rain last year, this year will be no different.

Thanks for listening, or actually reading!!

always
Natsky

 

[kureransu]

thanks you so much for stopping in Kureransu.. I appreciate it. I keep wandering through this site, trying to find peeps with common goals. I went to the 200 plus club, which I like very much. I saw some of my old friends there. I was on here back in June 2008, since I started my journey, I have lost virtually forty pounds. It was very difficult when I reached my fifty pound plateau at 270. I used to be 320, which when you almost cant get out of a couch, because you are so overweight, than you know you have to change what u are doing and start caring. And now the plateau hit in May and I have gained back some pounds. I hope, no, I know I will come down further.

thanks for your input!

always
Natsky

not a problem. i started at 330 myself this year and i am down to 294. it feels good to be in the two hundreds!! haven't been this low in years. good luck with the walking and just keep it up! when you hit that goal you will be an utter inspiration to everyone!

 

[M_Marie]

Natsky, honey you are amazing! Way to push through those tough things you have endured sucj as the auto immune def. and what not! I mean i have a hard time motivating myself WITHOUT that extra difficulties. To me that is the sign of a very very strong woman!

Keep up the good work hun! And you are not wasting air at all!!!! Kureansu is great isnt he!!!! your words are not a waste... see, im just now reading them.... but they inspired me!


Keep up the good work!!! look at alllll that weight lost!!

 

[AngelicaHope]

hello lovely natsky =]
sorry i have been gone for a bit.
lol even though i went a bit astray...
im happy to say im about 6 or 7 pounds
slimmer even through all the drama... D:

talk to you soon^^ and ice cream in
moderation... thats great!
i believe anything is okay to eat
as long as we arent gorging ourselves on it.

 

[kureransu]

just looking around for you! Everything ok?

 

[Natsky]

not a problem. i started at 330 myself this year and i am down to 294. it feels good to be in the two hundreds!! haven't been this low in years. good luck with the walking and just keep it up! when you hit that goal you will be an utter inspiration to everyone!

Thanks Kureransu,

Its wonderful how far you have come, and yet you keep moving. During the summer I found myself on a plateau and just seemed to give up in more ways than one. But I am walking still. The circulation in my feet is better. And I am feeling better!

thanks for visiting my diary!!

always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Natsky, honey you are amazing! Way to push through those tough things you have endured sucj as the auto immune def. and what not! I mean i have a hard time motivating myself WITHOUT that extra difficulties. To me that is the sign of a very very strong woman!

Keep up the good work hun! And you are not wasting air at all!!!! Kureansu is great isnt he!!!! your words are not a waste... see, im just now reading them.... but they inspired me!


Keep up the good work!!! look at alllll that weight lost!!

thanks Marie,

I know I am strong now. I am very strong, but I do have my weaknesses. I am happy you see me in such a light. I am as you have percieved. I have many more conditions, but I keep them to myself. but I have started doing new and cool things, as well as reading my Manga and walking. I am so excited. I am making a pillow out of rug hooking for my niece Vivian. I dont do it all the time. Most of the day is spent walking, but not fast pace. I wish I could pick up the pace, but my health has declined, but I think I am going to try to move faster. Just will take me a while to find my true stride.

Thanks for stopping by!

always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

hello lovely natsky =]
sorry i have been gone for a bit.
lol even though i went a bit astray...
im happy to say im about 6 or 7 pounds
slimmer even through all the drama... D:

talk to you soon^^ and ice cream in
moderation... thats great!
i believe anything is okay to eat
as long as we arent gorging ourselves on it.

I have actually lost weight myself Angelica... Its awesome how far you have come! Congrats. I shall have to make the rounds too other peeps diaries.

as well as yours.
I hope you have your puter back lmao

talk to you later
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

just looking around for you! Everything ok?

Hey you!
Yea I have def been lost. Sorry for not showing my face. Long days, short nights. Not much sleep. Its about three am right now. And I am trying not to eat anything, but it is so hard not to binge sometimes. I didnt eat a good breakfast yesterday morning, so my sugar was off. So now my schedule is off lol

oh well!

I shall make the rounds to your diaary. I so appreciate everyones kindness in coming to my diary!

always
Natsky

 

[Mikez0rr]

sometimes its hard to do but sleep does you good. its the time when you fast for the longest without even thinking about it.