natalie's first time diary :)

my weight still wasn't shifting on my scales but i went to a spa today and i was 141 pounds which is a few pounds lighter than my scales, dunno why :S i guessed i was about that weigh cause i feel like that i can usually tell by my stomach and things.

I've found the dress for my lbd :D it's quite high at the front with little sleeves, adn its got a tight underskirt with a little skirt which puffs over adn the back is very low with a boy at the bottom it's sooo pretty :D

It's good motivation cause i'll have to be slim to show my back off :D
 
I'm so motivated now got halloween to look forward to, been running twice this week and done my davina dvd, finally done the whole thing and i'm so tired lol.

I'm deciding on costumes

I love thsi one



but i think it's too tarty



think this ones really cute

and i love this one



i've bought some gold tights and black and white over the knee socks taht i cn wear with this one like wear over the knee socks over the gold glittery tightsa and i'ts got wee black n yellow frilly pants lol, just need to lose weight now to look ok in it.

I feel thinner already back to normal at least and not all pudgy :S hopefully i cn lose about 4 pouinds by halloween :D
 
my eatings not been so good today didn't have breakfast because i stayed at my bfs and slept in. When I got home I had some noodles which were about 300 cals, then i had some crips, about 100 cals and a yoghurt about 140 cals. For dinner I had way too much a casseroled steak thing wiht mashed potatoes cauliflower cheese, gravy, yorkshire puddings. When i got in from work i had one twirl finger, 100 cals.

I went runnign yesterday but i can't face excercising tonite, :S i really need to look good in this costume as well :S
 
I've not been amazing with eating but not terrible and my excercisings been good I definately feel thinner, my scales are still telling me i'm 145 :S but i'm pretty sure they're a few pounds out.

I'm really lovin gmy davina dvd, upped from bean cans to pasta sauce :p and next it's kinda big curry sauces we have lol, really need to get a set of weights./
 
Been good today :D had a pancake and some flora for breakfast, not sure its the healthies but low cal and saturated fat. For lunch I had some Tomato and brown lentil healthy choice soup with no bread, and for dinner i'm goign to have some noodles with chicken and sweetcorn.

I used to think i shouldn't eat pasta because it's too carby but i've noticed when i have pasta a couple of times a week i stick to my diet better, probably because it fills me up and it's good and slow burning. I've started eating it a couple of times a week now usually with a tomato sauce, or bolognese or tuna mayo ( i dnt like mayo much so dnt have too much )

i'm feeling good again, my waist looks smaller and my stomach flatter and my arms are getting toned again, and i've got collar bones :D i love collar bones lol. Cnt wait till i can feel hip bones again!!!
 
The scales have finally shifted lol, I musth ave been hanging on to water. I feel a lot better now, feel back to my normal self and not all pudgy. lol. My hands have knuckles again :p not just paws lol, and i have sort of cheekbones. Everythings just fitting me better as well, and i feel sort of sexy again, like i have a waist and hips again not just all straight up and dow, like how i go when i gain weight.
 
NEW YEAR!!!!

My mum got a new set of scales for the new year, :( :( i've put on so much weight over christmas :( now i'm 149 :S i'm far to small to be nearly 11 stone. Partly it's eating too much over christmas but mostly it's because i've been off work and out drinking quite a lot, so i'm missing out on all the excercise i get during work and drinking lots of empty calories.

I've got all my new years resolutions though, i'm going to put them here so I don't forget.


Resolutions:


1. Go to the gym, i've joined a new gym and it's a 10 minute walk or 2 minute drive from my house, so I've really no excuses. Plus I like it it's small and quiet and the guys who work there are really nice and normal, sometimes it's big scary people who just look at me like i'm weird :p or i feel like that at least.

2. Go on holiday, me and my friends are booking a fortnight in Zante :D :D :D A holiday was brilliant motivation for the weight loss the last time I went and i've started earlier this time so i'm sure i'll be in a bikini :p

3. Stop procrastinating :p thats my biggest flaw

4. I plan on finishing my college course in 3 weeks, then getting a temp job but also keeping my part time job on, so i can afford to put away 100 or 200 pound a month, depending on wages, to save.

5. I've got an interview for postgraduate teachign :D so i'm going to put all my efforts into practicing for that!!!! scary scary scary, i've done the interviews before but becausei t's post grad I also have to plan and teach a lesson to 4 other applicants as if they are 5 adn have them participating :S so scary,b ut i think i'll try active learning to look like i know about the school system lol.

6. start being happier and more confident, i'm so much better already, I'm always going to be shy but it's not holding me back so much anymore, i think temping will help because i'll be meeting loads of new people. My college course helped massively, it's the first time I've gone somewhere and just fitted in, more than that, i'm probably the only one who gets on with everyone lol.
 
My first goal is to be at least 143 by friday the 16th of january, my cousin has invited all of my cousins up to edinburgh and I want to be at least a normalish weight by then. Then at least 139 by the end of January, it's definately achievable.
130 by the end of february and at my goal by the end of March. I'd really like to be nearly there in march because thats when my teachign interview is and i'd be more confident if I was slimmer.
 
Thanks :) i wasnt good tonite had a wee munch but i'm meeting my sister and going to the gym 2moro. I lost two pounds over the last couple of days which is good :D
 
:S woke up this morning and i was 149 again :S but i did eat too much yesterday, had a bit too much today cause i went out for lunch but going to do extra excercise. Had one slice of bread with a tiny bit of ham at breakfast, and one slice of brown bread with beans for dinner. For lunch I had a tiny bit of pate and a bit of minestrone(Me and my mum shared starters lol) and spaghetti with pesto and olive oil sauce, wouldn't be too bad but theres a lot of oil in it :S not a massive serving though, apart from that i've had a coffee, tea and tiny handfull of jelly tots.
 
I just weighed myself there because I was bored and i'm 147 again, weird lol, usually i'd be a bit heavier by this time of night. I know i shouldn't weigh myself all the time but every time I stop weighing myself I stop trying.
 
Was still 147 this morning, I did a bit of excercise last night, not enough though, need to get back into the excercising. I was enjoying running but it's just tooo cold here, and slippy with ice.

Back at college tomorrow, my only problem with college is that everyone in my class gets rolls and bacon or sausage at break adn i'm always tempted, but tomorrow i'm definately not, and i'll probably get soup for lunch, the soups lovely and you get quite a lot but I still don't feel like i've eaten far too much.

Today I had a slice of bread with a slice of beef for breakfast, having a weight wathcers meal for dinner, probably just something small for lunch not sure what yet.
 
On the special k diet, i'm fed up of failing and its the perfect kick start for me, means i can still eat lunch out and things, cause i tend to do that a lot and it often ruins my diets. I'm doing my davina video much as possible, it's really good but very hard lol.
 
I was so good yesterday, had lots of water and some special k, and a stir fry for my dinner, no snacking except an apple, this morning I was 146.

Today i've had my special K, can't decide between pasta or sausage rolls for dinner, i love sausage rolls lol.
 
I've got properly started again, i'm absolutely fed of of not feeling good about myself.

I've got a holiday in june and i've been accepted to uni to do teaching postgrad in september :D :D :D

Just now i'm working nine till 5 five days a week, and 6 till 10.30 4 days a week, the nine till five thing has really helped my bad eating habits and i've even managed to cut out my nighttime snacking which has always been a real problem for me as i have a habit of coming in from work and having something to eat then just snacking all nite, now if i really need something i'm just having a cup of tea, if i eat anything it leads to eating more and ending up having a wee binge.

I've been having yoghurt and coffee for breakfast cause thats all I have time for then another yoghurt or some fruit for lunch, it's weight watchers yoghurts their really good. Then for lunch somethin glike a salad, or a pitta bread or sandwich with a bit of fruit or a biscuit. For dinner on tuesday I had a toastie with a bit of cheese and chicken, yesterday I had spaghetti with tomato sauce and mushroom and onion, tonight i've hardly any time to eat, probably buy a ready made salad.

I was back up to 150 pounds, but just this week i've lost 4 pounds so i'm 146. Feeling better about myself, this job really helps cause i have to get myself up and dressed and try to look my best every day. Plus a holiday is so motivating and it's getting to the stage that I really have to do something.

I've joined the gym, Just now i've onlly got saturdays and monday tuesdays to go and sometimes i'm too tired cause i'm not used to working so much, but i'll get used to it soon and be able to go more, I do get ok excercise in my work though, so as long as i'm eating good I should be ok.
 
:S i was so good last week and yet by monday morning i was 149 again and this morning 148 :S

I drank over the weekend and had some chocolate and crisps but my calories were pretty low and I worked all day sunday which meant lots of walking around :S and a lot of dancing on saturday nite :p

I would have expected to have lost at least a pound over the course of the week but last monday i was 149 and this monday I was 149, so annoying.

It's not put me off though, i'm still sticking to it, either going to a class in the gym tonite or doing my excercise video, not sure yet, I'm walking from work to my sisters as well, it's not very far but it's something lol.

I really feel like i'm getting somewhere this time just wish the scales would show it :S my work trousers feel the tiniest bit looser, I know i wouldn't have lost enough weight to make a difference but I must be less bloated which is good. I really hate having this weight on me, at 140 pounds i feel not too bad, but this weight is just horrible, i'm too short and i look terrible.
 
Had a bit of an overeat last nite. Mum had made spaghetti bolognese for dinner, which i love, so I ate too much of that with garlic bread, then she had bough cakes for pudding wee french fancies and i ate two, then later i had another french fancy and an aero :S then a tiny tiny bit of rubharb crumble, but only like 3 spoonfuls.

When I woke up this morning though I was 147 pounds :D so hopefully i didn't ruin it too badly. I've had toast this morning and i've got sandwiches with turkey and salad and a bit of coleslaw for lunch (coleslaw on sandwiches is my new addiction lol, I used to think it looked disgusting till i tried it :p) For dinner i'm having chicken and salad (if my mum buys it, she's not good at buying real food! and if she does she has to have chips or heavy sauce)
 
I'm so motivated now :D i'm going to do an excercise video tonight, I feel so good about this, I think its cause I know i'll have to wear a bikini on holiday and I want to feel attractive and enjoy nights out again!!
 
Managed about ten minutes of my video last nite lol, but i'd been working all day from half 8 till ten with about an hour in between my two jobs so I think it's forgivable lol. I thin i'll just do the arm and tummy bit of my davina vid tonight my arms aren't looking their best and neither is my tummy lol. I feel thinner although I've not lost much weight, my collar bones are coming out again :p and all around my shoulder area feels firmer and theres the tiniest hint of cheekbones my face looks less round.
 
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