My weightloss is now getting negative feedback from my parents

ucdpunk

ucdpunk

New member
I'm 18 years old (turning 19 in about a month.) I'm 5'11'' and I've been on a diet/exercise regimen for some time now.

My exercise regimen consists of:
Running 3 miles a day 5 days a week
Doing 1 to 1.5 hours of strength training (push-ups, crunches, weights) 3 days a week

For my diet, I honestly haven't followed any fad diet period, just made healthy choices such as:
complex carbs (whole grain bread, oatmeal)
lean meats (chicken, turkey, tilapia)
foods low in saturated-fat
foods low in sugar
lots and lots of servings of fruits and vegetables
yogurt
NO fast-food
water ONLY

As a result I've lost over 70 pounds, going from over 230 lbs to 159.5 lbs.
I feel good about how I look...a lot of fat is gone and there's much more muscle definition throughout my entire body... but as of yet I've still continued my above regimen to see if I could lose a little more fat.

The problem is I'm getting some backlash from my parents. My dad's now telling me that I really need to stop losing weight. I asked him "why?" And he replied "Your bones!...You have a big structure! You shouldn't lose anymore!" And then my mom now keeps saying "Son, you're so skinny! You need to stop losing weight! You need more fat on your cheeks! Look at [insert friend name here] he's the same age as you but has more fat on his cheeks and he looks great!"

These comments really hurt my feelings...especially how my mom compared me to someone else. It's really discouraging me from doing anything at all anymore...Thankfully, I'm seeing a doctor in a few days for my annual physical check-up. Hopefully he'll shed some light on what I should do now.

But are my parents right? Should I stop losing weight and try to maintain? I mean last time I checked, I'm still not underweight for my height and age...at least to the best of my knowledge. If I choose to maintain I'll probably keep doing the same exercise regimen, but increase my caloric intake while I'm at it.

What to do????:confused:
 
Last edited:
ok, i have alot to say on this matter....lol

let me start with saying this...i did a bmi check on your height and weight..it put you at 22.10. Healthy BMI ranges from 18-24..so your smack dab in the middle of healthy weight. SO, I'd say that you should maybe concentrate on maintaining your weight...or building muscle if it interests you. also, i suppose if you really wanted to loose some more, thats ok too, but not a whole lot more.

As far as your moms statement about someone having more fat in their cheeks, I totally believe that it is not weight related! not since you are comparing 2 healthy individuals. Some people are just made that way. I am one, I have nice full cheeks, i always have, even when I weighed 115 pds. Its like, saying that so and so has black hair and you have blonde...just the way you are..nothing will change that.

At first when reading, i thought that maybe they were sabatosing (sp) a little...people do tend to do that for selfish reasons...but if your bmi is 22...maybe they are just being caring parents who are worried that you're wanting to loose will become unhealthy?? People go there too... I guess this is a choice you'll have to make...but since you asked for our opinion, i'll go on record as to say that maybe they're right..maybe you should focus on maintenance?
 
Take advantage of all that late teen testosterone and start adding some muscle! Pops just dont want u to be a pencil neck :)
 
same here. My parents are forcing me to stop my diet..... i feel that they really don't understand..... sometimes i really hate myself for causing so much hurt to them.
 
Paents are going to be parents. ALWAYS! So just a suggestion but aybe you could schedule an appointment with a physician and get a good physical and take them with you. This may relieve their worry and pain.
 
hey congrats on your weightloss and learning habits you can live with for a long time. I wish i did that at your age.

Start learning more about body composition. I had the same problem. I lost so much weight that i lost in my face and arms. I looked skinny but still had a belly. You probably have lost some muscle.

I would agree with RJ on this one and grab a solid workout plan. Eat around or a little above maintence and build some muscle. Do this for a while, build some muscle and then slowly decrease your calories and see if you can burn some fat.

Have you talked to your parents? I would sit down with them and discuss you plan with them. Let them know your goals, how you plan on getting there and that you are just trying to be healthy. Communication is the key.

Great job and keep it up!!!!
 
Are your parents overweight at all? Have you been overweight most of your life?

I think a lot of it is that it's really hard for parents to see that kind of change and not react - especially if their own weight isn't at a healthy rate. If they don't understand healthy eating and exercise, they might be projecting that on to you. I would say that you should talk to your family doctor and have him talk to your parents about their concerns.

Sorry you're dealing with that - I can't imagine how stressful and frustrating it must be.
 
congrats on the loss. though at that weight, i see little point in continuing to lose. up the calories a lil bit, hit the iron harder with big compound movements, and start building a lil leanness. You'll look way skinnier from that even if you maintain your current weight. look at my pics in before and after for proof. weight is not the enemy, but shape can be. it's very possible you may have gotten too thin, it's very possible your parents are wrong. The doc should shed a bit of light on the subject. But don't go by the scale, or BMI. They are crap indicators of health and looks. I weight more right now than I have at any point in my life. I look way leaner now than I have at any point in my life. scale means nothing.
 
Korrie said:
At first when reading, i thought that maybe they were sabatosing (sp) a little...people do tend to do that for selfish reasons...but if your bmi is 22...maybe they are just being caring parents who are worried that you're wanting to loose will become unhealthy?? People go there too... I guess this is a choice you'll have to make...but since you asked for our opinion, i'll go on record as to say that maybe they're right..maybe you should focus on maintenance?
Click to expand...

I agree with this.
 
Thank you everyone for the support and advice! I visited the doctor a couple days ago, and she said that I was healthy and in good shape. She even told me that I have a resting heart rate comparable to those of athletes! (49 BPM) I was scared, but she told me that the cardio I've been doing succeeded in strengthening my heart, allowing it to pump more blood or something like that.

Since the doctor's appointment, both of my parents have stopped saying comments about my weight and appearance, especially since the report from the doctor said that my body is very healthy.

After the appointment, I've now become convinced that I'd like to eventually move my caloric intake to maintenance for a while and continue to do my exercise program. Once I'm comfortable with that for maybe a few weeks, I'd like to start building more muscle like many here have suggested for me to do.

I just have a few more questions...this time regarding caloric intake.

I've done some researching online when it comes to calories of certain foods as well as daily caloric needs. I've tried my best to come up with numbers that are very close to my real-life situation:

According to the Harris Benedict Equation, I have a BMR of 1835.3 calories.

I multiplied this figure by 1.55 assuming that my current exercise program qualifies as Moderate Exercise. This gave me a number of 2844.715 calories needed to maintain my current weight.

I went ahead and calculated a typical day of caloric intake through research/labels...

Breakfast:
1/2 cup rolled oats with a small amount of skim milk (about 150 calories)

Lunch:
2 slices of whole grain bread (about 240 calories)
turkey slices (about 100 calories)
romaine lettuce and 2 slices tomatoes (30 calories)
1 gala apple (about 100 calories)

Snack:
1 pear (about 100 calories)

Dinner:
chicken breast (about 300 calories)
a mixture of vegetables such as broccoli, zucchini, onions, etc (about 300 calories)
fat-free yogurt (80 calories)

Total: 1400 calories for the day

NOTE:
This is the FIRST TIME EVER that I've actually calculated this...I've never really calorie counted throughout my dieting/exercising. I simply tried to eat better foods without feeling starved. I've always felt satisfied at the end of the day. I've eaten this way for a few months. On some weekends my calorie count may be a little higher due to events/outings and such, so I upped my daily caloric intake to 1500 for that sake..I know this is still a rough-ish estimate since I'm not using some kind of scientific calorie counting machine.

Obviously this number is surprising to me...but it seems to makes sense. I took my maintenance figure of 2844.715 and subtracted my caloric intake to get my daily deficit, which is 1344.715.

Multiplying this deficit by 7 days a week, I get 9413.005 calories lost per week. Divided this number by 3500 for a total of about 2.68943 pounds lost per week. To be completely honest...this matches the weekly weight loss that I see when I weigh myself at the same time every week. At times it has been even more. I know this is aggressive, which is why I'm now attempting to increase my caloric intake.

My ultimate question is...HOW should I begin this caloric increase? Should I do it abruptly? Should I do it gradually? If I do something drastic will my weight erupt? I'd like to mention once again that the way I eat now has NOT left me feeling hungry/malnourished when I go to bed. I've always felt satisified.

Starting this Monday, I plan to add one whole banana (110 calories) to my oatmeal breakfast, and then a slice of swiss or cheddar cheese to my lunch sandwich (somewhere around 100 calories.) This would bump up my daily caloric intake to 1710 calories per day. What I'll do after that, I'm not sure. Any opinions are greatly appreciated!!
 
It sounds like you're on the right track.

I'd say take it a week at a time. Add 200-300 more calories a week until you get to the point that you're not losing anymore (but not gaining, either). I'd say, based on what you're describing, you could add some more healthy fat to your meals - some olive oil on your veggies, an avocado, some almonds as a snack. That will help get your calories up, and add in some of the fats you need.

When you get to the stage that you want to build muscle, you'll have to raise your calorie level a bit .. you have to be in a calorie surplus to build muscle. But you can deal with that when you get to that point. :)
 
Kara is pretty spot on with her advice. Just a couple of ideas for you.

Maybe add a couple eggs to the morning outmeal. I mix my dry oats with 2 eggs and water then micro for about 4 minutes. Then i add a handful of blueberries.

Also, add a cheesestick or two to that pear.
 
U need to find a right way and stick to it, only by this way can it be

permanent,fast and fit.
U may need a guider to help ur plan, I recommend you try P90X, it will guide u step by step in detail.

Follow the link u may interest:
 
my one recommendation for increasing your calories would be to jump your daily intake of protein and fats up to maintenance to start with while keeping your carbs steady where they are now and slowly increasing them week by week till they also catch up to maintenance. take about a month to do this.

the reason i say this is people can be very carb sensitive moreso than fats or protein. so an excess of carbs might be more easily put back into fat stores if it jumps way up overnight.
 
It's better your parents have noticed the change in your body what's worst is they will never notice it. I think it is advisable to add up muscles to your body and try not to lose anymore weight...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top