....ivette ....it breaks my heart...i love you so much....

...and coco...you know...she is and will always be one of my best friends in life...and it hurts so bad to see her like this...

...i wish with all my heart that she would have chose a different path...but she didn't and for a long time...i was soooo heart broken and hurt and sad...

....cause
whyyyyy again ya know?!!? ...and i loved that she was the old coco...i missed her so much..you have no idea.....you know how i am too....i only really have a select handful of friends.... And at that ...you all are as cooky...as i am and off traveling the world trying to find yourselves, or of on some mission.....
...so when it comes down to it....in reality...all the friends i had was you two...:d!!! ....i mean there are a lot of acquaintances in life, and they are great....but you know that there are only so many people you can bear your soul to without being judged and whom can truly care for you with heart felt words.... And that was you both

..... When coco did this again...you are right...it was a nightmare....the worst of them all....and it left me more confused and sad...cause now i lost her again....

....and now it's back down to one real friend.... But look how fucked up that is....we love our friends...and we hurt when our friends hurt..and i'm so sorry....cause you are hurting right now....and though i did express my sympathy, it's not really until now, that my wounds are healing that i see that yours aren't....and i'm sorry!!!
...i really wrote this right now,...to tell you i'm soooo sorry...

..when i told you all that stuff about coco that day a while back, i know i hurt you when i told you my real thoughts (at the time) about what kind of friend she was (at my work)...and your response hurt me as well....but mainly my friend i ammmmm soooooooooooooooooooo sorry that words can't even explain how much...... Not only because of what i said, but because i failed to really be a great friend and completely step into your shoes and realize that for me it's easier to zip up a wound and run and heal from it....but that for you.....how can you!?!?! She is your blood & your love for life....and your constant pain....i'm so sorry....i should have done a lot of things that i didn't...cause it just hurt too much....
.. I suck...and i just wanted to tell you that....i am sorry and you are one of the realest people in my life...and i love you!! I want your pain to heal, and if you'll take me.....i'm ready to go see coco>>>!!!!
...since sunday's soon will be taken, i can go not this sunday but for sure next!!

!!! I love you amiga...and i'm sorry....i just had to have time to heal a lot of resentments and wounds, and now that they aren't so tender,....i can get close again....!!!

...i know that sometimes, i can be very cold, but it's a defense mechanism...and i'm working on it....but i do have a lot of love as well!!! !....
god blesssss you and your family!!!!!!