MrsWoods, I'm ok, I guess. I'm alive anyway. I'm picking up the pieces right now from a major failure of a weekend. I need to get refocused. I think that starts with catching up on everyone's diaries so that's my goal tonight. I need to get inspiration from somewhere.
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I had a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE weekend of eating.

I'm so sick and tired of not having any will power. I want to lose weight more than anything in the world right now, but that little voice inside of me just won't stop telling me to eat, eat, eat.
Saturday started out ok until I picked up a bag of cookies and cream santa claus chocolate bars for WORK. I had no intentions of opening the bag at home, but in the end I did. I had a bar or two here and there throughout the day until I reached in the bag and felt nothing but air. I ate the whole damn bag in one day! That's 1600 calories alone! Then for dinner we decided to order out so I got a medium fry and an asiago ranch chicken sandwhich from Wendy's. I'm sure that comes out to well over 1,000 calories. My mom, who didn't know I ate all that chocolate, also surprised me by getting me a banana strawberry shake from Burger King. At least that was a small.
Yesterday wasn't too too bad. I had some french toast for breakfast (dad made it) and then I didn't eat again until dinner. Dinner was a larger than usual steak with some mac and cheese. The steak was HUGE so I cut it in half and split the other half between the dogs. They were psyched at least!
New game plan. I'm not buying anymore chocolate unless it's a flavor I don't like. I can safely keep whoppers and any chocolates with coconut. And, if I DO buy chocolates that I like I'm giving them to my mom to hold on to so I can't binge on them. I honestly can't believe I ate the whole damn bag! I'm surprised I didn't go into sugar shock!
One good thing about yesterday is that I decided to call this weekend a wash and I got a bottle of A&W Cream Soda. I LOVE this soda and that's what I used to drink all the time. Well, I cracked the bottle open and realized that it didn't taste as good as I remember it. I only drank half before dumping the rest. At least I'll have an easier time fighting that urge.
My weigh ins over the weekend. I was 196.8lb Saturday, 198lb yesterday, and 198lb again this morning. Another good thing about this weekend is that I got Taebo in Sat and Sun so hopefully that'll help make the damage not so bad.
Ugh... I just feel like a total failure right now. I HATE this feeling. Why oh why do I always give in when I KNOW damn well I'll feel like this after the fact?
