Hi everyone! I'm a newbie, so I'll just introduce myself here and keep on updating as I go along.
Back in Junior High I *think* I was over 200lbs. We never had a scale at home so I weighed myself at a friends house and get a major shock. That was my heaviest ever, and I was only a kid! My mom really enjoyed buying junk food, and that's pretty much all I ate. I got really depressed and was a lot throughout my teen years. When I was a senior in High School I got my first job, which was a chambermaid in a crummy hotel. I worked there for 2 years and was able to drop some weight. Throughout that job I was also taking in a heavy load at art school, but eventually flunked out because it was just too demanding. After a period of absolutely nothing (6 months), I got my current job which I have been at now for almost 3 years. It's extremely physical and I have been able to drop even more weight without hardly even noticing. It's an 11pm-7am job, so I haven't had a lot of time to just sit and eat like I used to.
In September, my dad, my absolute best friend in the world, had a massive heart attack and died unexpectedly. Depression was bad again and I didn't want to live. I don't have any 'regular' friends, so I pretty much just work and sleep. I figured I could take two routes. Let the depression and anxiety kill me, or do something about it, and raise my self esteem because nobody else was going to do it for me. I decided that I was finally going to eat better, count my calories and start working out (more than my 8 hour/day job). I was just sitting at 140lbs and it wasn't budging. I started all of this in the beginning of February and I have been good since. Sure I let myself have a little chocolate here and there (It's Easter time!) but I have been having more fruits, yogurt, brown rice etc. I'm so proud of myself, I used to be a junk food junkie!! I also used to be addicted to Pepsi and would have up to 5 cans a day, and now that's out, and water is in. I find I crave water now, and I love it.
I bought my first elliptical machine (one of those walmart cheapies) 2 weeks ago and I've been using it soo much, burning as much as I can, and really pushing myself. I'm actually in the middle of a workout right now, wearing shorts
And I just feel so good. Right now I'm at 135lbs (the 5 pounds I lost was water weight) but I'm starting to see good definition in my arms from my weight lifting and I can feel myself getting stronger. At work they call me "the machine" and "muscles" 
I don't have a specific weight 'goal', but I'd like to raise my confidence and love the way I look. I would love to be athletic and toned. I do enjoy playing sports, but I was always too heavy and got out of breath when I would try. I used to rollerblade a lot, and this summer I think I'm going to take it up again since we have a lot of paths around my small city.
Ultimately I just want to be happy. I am in a long distance relationship with a guy that I have been talking to for 10 years now, and hopefully we are going to meet soon. I just want to be the best I can be! I'm tired of living in my room and unhappy. I have to push myself even more now that my dad's support is gone. I miss him a lot, but I decided I'm going to make him proud.
Thanks for listening, now back on the elliptical!!
Back in Junior High I *think* I was over 200lbs. We never had a scale at home so I weighed myself at a friends house and get a major shock. That was my heaviest ever, and I was only a kid! My mom really enjoyed buying junk food, and that's pretty much all I ate. I got really depressed and was a lot throughout my teen years. When I was a senior in High School I got my first job, which was a chambermaid in a crummy hotel. I worked there for 2 years and was able to drop some weight. Throughout that job I was also taking in a heavy load at art school, but eventually flunked out because it was just too demanding. After a period of absolutely nothing (6 months), I got my current job which I have been at now for almost 3 years. It's extremely physical and I have been able to drop even more weight without hardly even noticing. It's an 11pm-7am job, so I haven't had a lot of time to just sit and eat like I used to.
In September, my dad, my absolute best friend in the world, had a massive heart attack and died unexpectedly. Depression was bad again and I didn't want to live. I don't have any 'regular' friends, so I pretty much just work and sleep. I figured I could take two routes. Let the depression and anxiety kill me, or do something about it, and raise my self esteem because nobody else was going to do it for me. I decided that I was finally going to eat better, count my calories and start working out (more than my 8 hour/day job). I was just sitting at 140lbs and it wasn't budging. I started all of this in the beginning of February and I have been good since. Sure I let myself have a little chocolate here and there (It's Easter time!) but I have been having more fruits, yogurt, brown rice etc. I'm so proud of myself, I used to be a junk food junkie!! I also used to be addicted to Pepsi and would have up to 5 cans a day, and now that's out, and water is in. I find I crave water now, and I love it.
I bought my first elliptical machine (one of those walmart cheapies) 2 weeks ago and I've been using it soo much, burning as much as I can, and really pushing myself. I'm actually in the middle of a workout right now, wearing shorts
And I just feel so good. Right now I'm at 135lbs (the 5 pounds I lost was water weight) but I'm starting to see good definition in my arms from my weight lifting and I can feel myself getting stronger. At work they call me "the machine" and "muscles" I don't have a specific weight 'goal', but I'd like to raise my confidence and love the way I look. I would love to be athletic and toned. I do enjoy playing sports, but I was always too heavy and got out of breath when I would try. I used to rollerblade a lot, and this summer I think I'm going to take it up again since we have a lot of paths around my small city. Ultimately I just want to be happy. I am in a long distance relationship with a guy that I have been talking to for 10 years now, and hopefully we are going to meet soon. I just want to be the best I can be! I'm tired of living in my room and unhappy. I have to push myself even more now that my dad's support is gone. I miss him a lot, but I decided I'm going to make him proud.
Thanks for listening, now back on the elliptical!!
