My feelings & Thoughts

A

Amethyst

New member
My name is Amethyst. I am 40 yrs old now. My husband and I have been married for 23 yrs, and we have a son who has just turned 15 yrs old as of Dec 3rd.

I have been over weight for a very long time. I am over 300 pounds right now as I type this. As a morbidly obese lady, I have not been able to run and play with our son like I have wanted to for so long. Now, his little toddler days are over with, and I am the one to blame. Dave is our only son. He has no sisters or brothers at all. He has problems of his own and the kids are not getting any nicer as days go by.

I love my husband and son with all of my heart, soul and mind, yet I am afraid that my weight is going to kill me. I could go through a list of things that are wrong with me, but I am not going to do that. I want to do my very best to look at the positive things in life instead of the none positive.

Years ago I was prescribed weight loss meds to take. It helped while I took them, and I lost a whole lot of weight. 80 some pounds. But, no one can stay on diet meds all of their life. Once you go off of them, sometimes there is a side effect of an irregular heart beat from taking the med all that time. This is what happened to me.

Since then, And that has been many years ago. I have thought about having weight loss surgery, but at that time my Dr told me no that it wasn't for me. My own husband even has fears about me having the surgery done, and I have actually seen him in tears. Our son is the same exact way. He is afraid that something is going to happen to his mom while I am on the table.

Now, many years later, the very Dr. that said surgery was not for me is now telling me that he wants me to have it done. In fact, It really hurts me to say that he has been underhanded with me, lieing to me about why he really wants me to go to another by using trickery to get me there.

He prescribed me a medicine (Meridia) which medicaid will not pay for. I believe that he knew they would not pay for it when he wrote the prescription for it. I believe that it was all a set up to get me into the office of a Dr who did nothing but weight loss surgery. My Dr's reason how ever was that he wanted me to go to him for a "Consultation" just to talk to him about weight loss in general, not the surgery. He knew that this Dr. only did gastric bypass surgery and that was it! Nothing more and nothing less.

My Dr has even told me that my weight was going to kill me. The sad thing is that I have actually had images inmy own mind where I have seen myself laying in the caskit with me the size I am right now.

I do NOT want this to happen to me !! I sit here in tears as I type all of this, because I simply do not know where else to turn. I feel like I am a hopeless case, but I know that is wrong.

Amethyst
 
youu aren't hopeless...

You just hae to start somewhere...

I personally dont beleive that weight loss surgery is the answer for most people - it's an option but one that has too many risks involved...

When I started this expedition - i weighed a lot more than you - i was at 383lbs.. and now am about 188 - took me 19 months to get here and not done yet... but it's been a bit of progress... I'm not gonna s ay if I can do it, so can you because that's bs - everyone is different... but you can find your own way...

Find a different doctor...

Read around the forum and put together a sensible plan for eating with a reasonable amount of calories (not 1500 but more) and start moving... you don't have to run - walking is fine...
 
New Doctor

Yesterday I got a list of Doctor's who accept medicaid. You have to fill out the form and send it back in to them before 10 days are up, so I started typing in the Dr's name on the net and did a search on them. I was able to find them and also read a little about them as well.

Well, they had at least a couple on the list that I wanted to check into, so I did a search on them. The last Dr. that I did a search on was still accepting new patients that has medicaid. When I called them we had a really good chat and enjoyed talking with one another. It was hard for me to believe that this was a Dr's office that did not care about how long they were on the phone with you. If they got a call coming in, they simply asked you if you would hold and then they get back to you immediately after they are done with the other call.

To me, this is the kind of Dr. I need. A place that will take their time with you, and Listen to you and people who are really Concerned about you. I really think that it is about time that people be treated as a person and not just another number, or pay check !

Any ways, I am switching Dr's for myself and for our son. He is 15 yrs old and the way time is flying by he will need to find another Dr. soon any ways. Besides, he has told me that he would rather have 1 Dr. instead of a dozen (or so it seems). I tried to switch him over to my Dr. a while back, but they will not take him.

Our new Dr's name is "Perez" - I am in the midst of talking to my mama to see if she would like to have the same Dr., as they do x-rays and lab work there as well. Finally, No more hospital visits or going to the Lab Corp to have blood work or x-rays done !

Amethyst
 
Feeling pretty good this morning

As usual, I am up very early because I have trouble sleeping . . but all in all I feel pretty good. This is something that I have gotten used to, so it doesn't bother me as bad any more.

Yesterday 12/4/07 I made an entry about finding a new Dr. I also posted in that entry something about letting my mama know about this Dr.

I'd like to say that my mama has a lot wrong with her. She lives by herself and she has no car or anyone around her to help get her from place to place. My mama has heart problems, and is a diabetic, amung other problems as well. Because of her health problems, she has to have a lot of lab work done on her and she has to go somewhere else other than her Dr in order to get this done.

I mentioned our new Dr. to her because not only does she need to go somewhere she can get everything done at one time, but because on certain days during the week I can take her to her Dr. Appointments without her having to worry about trying to find a ride.

Still sound like an Advert to you ??​

I am not the type of person who makes a public promotion of some service or product. I am however one who cares about my mama and her health, and because I do I want to help her as much as I can.

Amethyst
 
Part of the reason you're confusing people is that you keep starting new threads. Just pick one and stick with it - click Reply, not New Post.
 
Amethyst - your threads have been merged -please use the reply function to add to your existing diary and not create a new thread every time.. thanks
 
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