My Emotions are Controlling Me

[Brenda's Ready]

Kerry,

I think a problem that I have is blaming myself for my eating habits. When I get into an argument, feel overwhelmed by my schedule, or frustrated with my children, I reach out to food-like an anti-anxiety pill, except mine is a few chips, a piece of bread, a sweet, etc. Then I feel such guilt about it, and tell myself I have no self control. The rest of my life is SUPER controlled and scheduled, and food serves as such a relief, like the one thing I have that is mine. Just typing it helps me realize what has been happening to me.
Like you said, I really have to force myself to be disciplined ( this is what I'm talking about when I say "laziness"-it's not wanting to face what I am doing) and say, stop. Think about what you're doing. Go walk. Count to ten and breathe. The lazy thing to do would be to just dive into that temporary emotion and just eat, because it releives me and it is so easy.
Thank you for sharing with me, as it allows me to feel less alone with this problem. I really appreciate it, and am doing so much better with it now that I have identified the problem.

 

[felici]

At different times, I have noticed myself doing exactly those things you are talking about. I see two different related patterns. One is the "OMG finally it's my time of the night" relaxation binge and the other is the "OMG I hate what just happened" impulse eat (that might lead to a binge as soon as I had time). And then there's the "OMG I'm such a worthless person" reinforcement that follows. Catching the impulse and being aware that it doesn't have to be controlling - often it's just an impulse that you can override by thinking - or as you say, by deep breathing etc - is very helpful. All of those things can be dealt with - maybe not overnight but still they can all be changed. It's great to see you making progress with them.

It helps me too, to be able to talk to other people with these issues, and finding the people to talk to about it isn't always so easy. I don't think we're rare though. I believe many other people, maybe millions, behave in similar ways.

 

[bodymatters]

It can be done

Hi Brenda,
I can so relate to what you are saying and I am so pleased you see by sharing your problem you help other people feel better about theres, its so true when they say a problem shared is a problem halved, I really want to shed light on this emotional eating as I want to unlock the mindsets within me that I dont know about, the only people I can get to grips with are you and Kerry, I feel that undertsanding what we are all doing is helping each of us out, so please dont stop there. I have had a amazing day I went swimming with my 2 girls at the local baths they have been closed for 3 months due to a revamp so I decided to go again but not for a play about with the girls more for a serious swim. I bumped into a woman that is doing 50 lengths every saturday, anyway we got talking and she tells me she has lost 4 stone, thats exactly what I want to lose, it helped me greatly to know that it is possible no matter how hard it may seem, we swam and b4 I knew it I had done 20 lengths, this really encouraged me to carry on today. Best of luck Brenda with the new job. speak soon
caroline
xx

 

[bodymatters]

Let me know your views on your binge voice

Selfish Is As Selfish Does
By becoming an expert in recognizing the binge voice you be able to see it as a mean-spirited, sly enemy that cares nothing for the health, happiness or even the survival of you. The fact that you, the host, the mechanism to go get food, is growing huge, suffering low self-esteem, social embarrassment, back problems, heart disease, high blood pressure, marital conflict, or failure of the joints in no way deters the midbrain’s binge impulse from seeking ever more food to appease its unending hunger.

Dr. Robert Dupont, former White House drug czar and first director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), aptly describes the midbrain’s character by the title of his most recent book, “The Selfish Brain.” As with other selfish people in your life, you must set boundaries and protect yourself. You have a selfish midbrain with destructive tendencies, and you must apply the new knowledge found in this report by setting limits and enforcing those limits.

Your first goal is not to count calories; it is to become extremely self-conscious of any thinking that supports overeating, in both the short and long term. You must practice, rehearse and anticipate “IT” rearing its ugly head, then rehearse and visualize yourself firmly and comfortably refusing rich and colorful incorrect foods, followed by your slideshow of healthy, appropriate foods. Journaling the phrases that your binge voice uses to manipulate you, along with your upset, angry and intolerant responses is an invaluable tool.

Rehearsing in this way to help retrain your brain to think correctly about your eating is supported by clinical research. According to John Ratey, MD, Harvard Neuroscientist, “We now have proof that brain development is a continuous unending process. The brain has a tremendous ability to compensate and rewire with practice. Experiences, thoughts, actions and emotions actually change the structure of your brain.

So, the more we repeat the same actions and thoughts [from saying “NO” to the binge voice, and “YES” to your healthy voice,] the more we encourage the formation of certain connections, then the more fixed the neural circuits in the brain for that activity become.” So, by actually rehearsing the binge and how you will avoid the binge, you are rewiring your brain to work that way.