My diary. My journey.

SpinGirl1981

SpinGirl1981

New member
Hey all! I'm very new here. Just joined today. I will post a brief bio and then go into my story. It's long!

I'm 35 years old, and I am a mom to a great 10-year-old boy. I work part-time for an advertising firm, and also do freelance writing. On top of that, I also work part-time as a spin instructor at the YMCA.

I have been up and down struggling with my weight since I was about 16 years old. That's when I noticed weight started piling on. Before that, I never really worried about it. By the time I was 19, I weighed 238 lbs (I'm 5'6"). My doctor told me I was pre-diabetic, and that scared me, so I started doing a low-carb diet and working out. I still wasn't "healthy" because I smoked, but I did manage to lose about 60 lbs in 5 months! I felt so much better. I slowly lost about 30-35 more, I would say, and then I got married at age 22. Not long after, my husband and I wanted a baby, so I quit smoking. I gained about 35 lbs back. But, I got pregnant, and gained about 60(!) lbs during my pregnancy, ending back above where I was.

Fast forward to having my son in 2006. I was over 230 lbs before I gave birth, and lost about 20 right away. Without trying too hard, I ended up back around 185. I told myself that was "good enough". I wasn't too worried about losing more. Well, when my son was a couple months old, I decided I didn't want to work full-time, so I started working part-time at the YMCA at the front desk. I watched fit people come in and it and never even thought about working out myself. After about a year of that, I finally decided to start taking some classes. I got addicted, and ended up dieting (counting calories) as well, and after another year, I ended up down to 135 lbs.

Next was my marriage problems. I was 27 and very unhappy in an emotionally abusive marriage. I felt guilty for breaking up the family, but after counseling, decided to proceed with a divorce. During this stressful time, I barely ate and used cardio to relieve stress. I got almost too skinny, but I didn't realize it at the time. More fast forwarding, a couple years after my divorce, I met my future husband. When we first started dating, I was eating more, working out less, and gained a bit of weight, maybe 5-10 lbs. well, we've been married since 2013, and I am now back to 171 lbs. I am so unhappy with my weight and I can't seem to stop my cycle of binge eating. I do it mostly when no one is around. I still work out at least 4-5 times a week, but it doesn't help with all the eating I do! I need support from someone who understands, and some accountability! My husband is awesome and loves me no matter what size I am, but I want to do this for me. I want to feel better physically and mentally.

Sorry for the long post. Wanted to share, as I know I may not be obese now, I was at times in my life and I want to get back to a healthy weight so I can feel and look better!
 
Hello and welcome :)

This book really helped me:
Beyond Temptation: How to Stop Overeating and Feel Normal and In Control Around Food

I still reach out to it when I fall off the wagon.

I was on the chubby side all my life until my mid twenties, then lost 3 stone and felt amazing. Then gained 1stone back :D Now trying to get rid of it by eating well and exercising (it's only been 2 weeks for me!). I want to feel fit and in control and happy!!

Good luck with your quest to a healthier life!! I think overeating might be worse for the mind than the body.

We can do it!!! :)

 
Hello SpinGirl1981 and welcome to the forum.

Hopefully, you’ll find advice and encouragement, contained within the forum’s various sections, useful in allowing you to address some of the obstacles that you currently consider to be standing in your way.

Although you’ve found happiness again, I’m sorry to learn of your past, SpinGirl, and the difficult circumstances that may have no doubt contributed towards the position that you currently find yourself.

Despite being happily re-married, it’s more than probable that you still have a number of emotional scars that will not have healed. At times, some of the scars that exist may still lend towards a feeling of insecurity or periods of low self-esteem. When you feel that sense of insecurity, the tendency to binge eat may be the only way you can think of to help you cope with those feelings.

I won’t dwell any further upon your past, SpinGirl, since I don’t wish to re-open old wounds. It’s incredibly unfortunate that you experienced what you did, but it’s now something that’s in the past and you mustn’t allow it to over-shadow your future with your current husband, someone who dearly loves you for who you are and not how you’d wish to appear.

At times, we’re all guilty of being our own worst critic when it comes to our appearance, wishing that part(s) of our anatomy were either smaller or possessed more shape, for example. Equally, thoughts over how our physical appearance may be perceived by others can lead to insecurities.

Those insecurities can, in some cases, lead to the development of an unhealthy relationship with food, as comfort is sought in how it tastes and makes us feel while it’s devoured, not giving a second thought to how we may feel afterwards.

I think, that in order to begin addressing such a relationship with food, it’s important to recognise emotional triggers that may create the urge to binge eat. By recognising the cause(s) behind some of those triggers, you stand a far greater chance of reversing the trend that’s leaving you feeling so unhappy.

Although you seek accountability for your pattern of behaviour, SpinGirl, I don’t think you require criticism from others, since it’ll be unhelpful to your cause. Instead, what you need is support and positive encouragement, since it’ll be more beneficial to you in the longer-term.

From my experience of the forum, supportive encouragement is something you’ll both receive and find in abundance, with very little criticism offered in return. To this end, the messages you’ve received thus far haven’t been of criticism, they’ve only been of support.

Since you’re a spin instructor, I’d suggest that you probably require little education in the mechanics of exercise and its positive effect upon the body. However, if you feel the need to understand more, feel free to reply or drop me a pm, SpinGirl.

However, in the immediate interim, I’d suggest that you consider what causes/creates your episodes of binge eating, since I suspect your problem is more mental than it is physical.

Upon your own recognition and understanding of the above, you can begin to take positive steps towards introducing those changes that you so dearly wish to make.

So long as you don’t give up on yourself, SpinGirl, the forum won’t give up on you.
 
Hey spin girl

Just wanting to say 'hey'. I've just come back to the forum after an absence, so looking forward to losing weight and getting healthier alongside you!
 
SpinGirl1981 said:
Hey all! I'm very new here. Just joined today. I will post a brief bio and then go into my story. It's long!

I'm 35 years old, and I am a mom to a great 10-year-old boy. I work part-time for an advertising firm, and also do freelance writing. On top of that, I also work part-time as a spin instructor at the YMCA.

I have been up and down struggling with my weight since I was about 16 years old. That's when I noticed weight started piling on. Before that, I never really worried about it. By the time I was 19, I weighed 238 lbs (I'm 5'6"). My doctor told me I was pre-diabetic, and that scared me, so I started doing a low-carb diet and working out. I still wasn't "healthy" because I smoked, but I did manage to lose about 60 lbs in 5 months! I felt so much better. I slowly lost about 30-35 more, I would say, and then I got married at age 22. Not long after, my husband and I wanted a baby, so I quit smoking. I gained about 35 lbs back. But, I got pregnant, and gained about 60(!) lbs during my pregnancy, ending back above where I was.

Fast forward to having my son in 2006. I was over 230 lbs before I gave birth, and lost about 20 right away. Without trying too hard, I ended up back around 185. I told myself that was "good enough". I wasn't too worried about losing more. Well, when my son was a couple months old, I decided I didn't want to work full-time, so I started working part-time at the YMCA at the front desk. I watched fit people come in and it and never even thought about working out myself. After about a year of that, I finally decided to start taking some classes. I got addicted, and ended up dieting (counting calories) as well, and after another year, I ended up down to 135 lbs.

Next was my marriage problems. I was 27 and very unhappy in an emotionally abusive marriage. I felt guilty for breaking up the family, but after counseling, decided to proceed with a divorce. During this stressful time, I barely ate and used cardio to relieve stress. I got almost too skinny, but I didn't realize it at the time. More fast forwarding, a couple years after my divorce, I met my future husband. When we first started dating, I was eating more, working out less, and gained a bit of weight, maybe 5-10 lbs. well, we've been married since 2013, and I am now back to 171 lbs. I am so unhappy with my weight and I can't seem to stop my cycle of binge eating. I do it mostly when no one is around. I still work out at least 4-5 times a week, but it doesn't help with all the eating I do! I need support from someone who understands, and some accountability! My husband is awesome and loves me no matter what size I am, but I want to do this for me. I want to feel better physically and mentally.

Sorry for the long post. Wanted to share, as I know I may not be obese now, I was at times in my life and I want to get back to a healthy weight so I can feel and look better!
Click to expand...

Hey SpinGirl, I just wanna start by saying, "You're gorgeous!" And congratulations on making a better choice, the second time around. Your husband sounds like a sweetheart for you :)
Why do us girls have such a hard time managing our weight. The pregnancies don't help it either.
I have a suggestion, how about grabbing the stroller and walking outside for just 20 minutes to start. Then tack on give minutes every couple days until you reach at least 30 minutes every single day, including weekends. That would be a great start!
I've had challenges with resisting sweets and sticking to a regular workout routine over the years, through pregnancies and juggling the kids and my business. But I've come to a point where I'm finally having fun with this weight loss thing. I've put myself through a 30-day challenge and been posting a video every day on my Facebook profile. Today is Day 9. Figure out a way to keep yourself accountable and you'll be well on your way to fitting into those skinny jeans again. Let's keep in touch. I wanna hear more about your progress :) ~ Allison Kodama
 
jessiespano said:
I'm looking to get fit too, I like your story. I was a chunky kid too.
Click to expand...

Hey Jessie, That's awesome that you want to get fit. That's the first step :)
I've recently put myself on a 30-day challenge that I post to my Facebook profile every morning. I've had problems with keeping consistent with eating and exercsing but this is helping. What are you doing to get fit today? ~ Allison Kodama
 
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