Heya 
I'm Pixie, I live in Queensland Australia and have for most of my life. Both parents were over weight when I was growing up and I never really put much thought into my looks until high school. I knew I was chubby but it was meh to me the health risks were "in the future" and therefore not a concern.
When I was 11 my parents split up. I lived with my mum since dad worked overseas and was only home for 2 weeks then was at work for 4 weeks. But I saw him when ever he was home for as long as I wanted. It was a decent split and they never fought in front of me.
When I was 14, Dad had been with my step mum for 2 years and they had a child together. He broke the news to me he was going to be having weight loss surgery. Long story short he more than halved his weight in a few short months 198kg to 90kg and needed the excess skin cut off. He passed away 1 week after my little brothers 1st birthday and I was 15.
When I was 16 my mum was diagnosed with heart troubles. She was also rather over weight about 180kg. After several years on a very strict diet she managed to lose 60kg with no exercise her aorta valve was calcifying and she was unable to cross the street without needing a rest halfway across to catch her breath and when I was 19 she was able to have the surgery to fix the valve. 2 weeks after the surgery she went into heart failure but survived. 11 months after that she had a stroke and I have been her carer since I was 18.
I'm now 1 month away from being 24 and I'm 141kg. I need to lose weight. I need to be healthier. I need to do this naturally and as healthily as I possibly can. Food has been a comfort for me. My journey of a healthier lifestyle started 3 months ago. I started with regularly going to the gym for a minimum of 30 mins a day 6 days a week (it's closed sundays). I got that down without an issue, I find it fun and I love every minute of it. I have found if i don't go I am sad and depressed all day.
My second step was my diet. Before i started this my diet was no water just pepsi max about 2L a day and 2 minute noodles, chips (doritos, smiths, lays) and hot chips and gravy. That would be an average day.
I cut back on the pepsi max I now only have 1 600mL bottle a week as a treat. I also cut back on the deep fried food as well as my first major step with my diet. The headaches and caffeine cravings sucked a lot. Since then I have cut out all dairy, most grains and wheat products, red meat and processed meat.
My goal is by September be able to fit into regular sized clothing. I'm fine with being a large or XL but I want to be shopping in the regular section not the plus size area. Why September? Because I have a beautiful and loving boyfriend. He lives in CA and I will be meeting his family for the first time then. I have met him in real life back in November of last year. He is 6ft2inches and he is thin but muscular and I want to look amazing for his 21st. I don't want to embarrass him by being so big. He loves me the way I am but I don't love me the way I am. He encourages me and is a shoulder to cry on when I need it. After September I have no definite deadline yet to reach my healthy long term goal weight. I'm going one step at a time.
Today has been a really rough day for me. The past 2-3 weeks I have been finding it hard to stay awake past 10am. I wake up at 5:30am-6:00am have breaky then an hour or so later go to the gym come home after an hour working out and once i cool down and stop sweating i was practically falling asleep at my desk. I went to the Dr and she said it was probably related to blood sugar and confirmed my suspicion. A few days earlier I decided to stop eating wholegrain bread and go with rye instead and I cut back on carbs from wheat and grains and started having a better snack post work out and it has helped a lot so far. Today started off with a fast for the blood test i needed to take. Being super depressed from some news I received the night before. I was aching to bury my sorrow and self pity in a huge bowl of greasy gravy smothered chips and alcohol. I made the mistake of telling Mum just before we got to the cafe for lunch that i wanted chips really bad. Trying to help me feel better she orders some for me even after I said don't worry about it I don't want them and went with the chicken tortilla with no cheese and no mayo. about 10 mins later she raised her voice at me and told me i had to eat some. It took every ounce of mental strength i had to say no she pushed further, until I calmly said I'm going for a walk and left the cafe for about 10 mins (I went to a shop down the road and had a good look around to clear my head). After a good cry in my car and writing this right now i can say I'm proud of myself for still being on the wagon and eating healthy all day despite temptation being less than 6 inches away from me. It's currently 1 am I need to get to sleep now I'll continue my diary some more tomorrow.
Goodnight <3
I'm Pixie, I live in Queensland Australia and have for most of my life. Both parents were over weight when I was growing up and I never really put much thought into my looks until high school. I knew I was chubby but it was meh to me the health risks were "in the future" and therefore not a concern.
When I was 11 my parents split up. I lived with my mum since dad worked overseas and was only home for 2 weeks then was at work for 4 weeks. But I saw him when ever he was home for as long as I wanted. It was a decent split and they never fought in front of me.
When I was 14, Dad had been with my step mum for 2 years and they had a child together. He broke the news to me he was going to be having weight loss surgery. Long story short he more than halved his weight in a few short months 198kg to 90kg and needed the excess skin cut off. He passed away 1 week after my little brothers 1st birthday and I was 15.
When I was 16 my mum was diagnosed with heart troubles. She was also rather over weight about 180kg. After several years on a very strict diet she managed to lose 60kg with no exercise her aorta valve was calcifying and she was unable to cross the street without needing a rest halfway across to catch her breath and when I was 19 she was able to have the surgery to fix the valve. 2 weeks after the surgery she went into heart failure but survived. 11 months after that she had a stroke and I have been her carer since I was 18.
I'm now 1 month away from being 24 and I'm 141kg. I need to lose weight. I need to be healthier. I need to do this naturally and as healthily as I possibly can. Food has been a comfort for me. My journey of a healthier lifestyle started 3 months ago. I started with regularly going to the gym for a minimum of 30 mins a day 6 days a week (it's closed sundays). I got that down without an issue, I find it fun and I love every minute of it. I have found if i don't go I am sad and depressed all day.
My second step was my diet. Before i started this my diet was no water just pepsi max about 2L a day and 2 minute noodles, chips (doritos, smiths, lays) and hot chips and gravy. That would be an average day.
I cut back on the pepsi max I now only have 1 600mL bottle a week as a treat. I also cut back on the deep fried food as well as my first major step with my diet. The headaches and caffeine cravings sucked a lot. Since then I have cut out all dairy, most grains and wheat products, red meat and processed meat.
My goal is by September be able to fit into regular sized clothing. I'm fine with being a large or XL but I want to be shopping in the regular section not the plus size area. Why September? Because I have a beautiful and loving boyfriend. He lives in CA and I will be meeting his family for the first time then. I have met him in real life back in November of last year. He is 6ft2inches and he is thin but muscular and I want to look amazing for his 21st. I don't want to embarrass him by being so big. He loves me the way I am but I don't love me the way I am. He encourages me and is a shoulder to cry on when I need it. After September I have no definite deadline yet to reach my healthy long term goal weight. I'm going one step at a time.
Today has been a really rough day for me. The past 2-3 weeks I have been finding it hard to stay awake past 10am. I wake up at 5:30am-6:00am have breaky then an hour or so later go to the gym come home after an hour working out and once i cool down and stop sweating i was practically falling asleep at my desk. I went to the Dr and she said it was probably related to blood sugar and confirmed my suspicion. A few days earlier I decided to stop eating wholegrain bread and go with rye instead and I cut back on carbs from wheat and grains and started having a better snack post work out and it has helped a lot so far. Today started off with a fast for the blood test i needed to take. Being super depressed from some news I received the night before. I was aching to bury my sorrow and self pity in a huge bowl of greasy gravy smothered chips and alcohol. I made the mistake of telling Mum just before we got to the cafe for lunch that i wanted chips really bad. Trying to help me feel better she orders some for me even after I said don't worry about it I don't want them and went with the chicken tortilla with no cheese and no mayo. about 10 mins later she raised her voice at me and told me i had to eat some. It took every ounce of mental strength i had to say no she pushed further, until I calmly said I'm going for a walk and left the cafe for about 10 mins (I went to a shop down the road and had a good look around to clear my head). After a good cry in my car and writing this right now i can say I'm proud of myself for still being on the wagon
and eating healthy all day despite temptation being less than 6 inches away from me. It's currently 1 am I need to get to sleep now I'll continue my diary some more tomorrow.Goodnight <3
