MoonGoddess's Path

I love the Onion!

I will never concentrate with it on.... listening to "Greenpeace releases dolphins into the forest"... too funny.

This also has made me about cry from laughing too hard every time I have watched it...which I dare say is a few times too many!
 
Hey there,jamming in the office eh..?? lol
How have things been on your end?I have been
very extra insanley busy and the weather bites to
freezing on day then warm w/ thunderstorms the next
now tommorow snow geeesh we all are going to be sick.
Have a wonderful day Tammy
 
No kidding. I saw 65 today, but just yesterday was cold. the day before I think the high was like 45... I know I was freezing in layers. But it could always be worse.

So I broke down & bought myself a new pair of jeans. I was trying to wait til I could go down a size, but I am just stuck at the moment. I admit I haven't been as strict with the exercise or watching the calories & sodium, so I'm not surprised by the lack of movement, but it sucks to think I am wasting time that I could be skinnier. I hated getting the same old size, but I needed a new pair. I can't wait to get down a size & treat myself to a nice pair of jeans...til then I'm going with the sale racks & saving up.
 
Hey Moon. The weather here in good ole' SLC has been very cold and yucky. It just keep dumping snow on us, like every other day we have a pretty big storm. Plus it's just a cold bitch outside too. I would kill for 65 right now. I miss the warmer weather so bad.

New jeans, eh? I can relate to that part of your post all too well. I'm currently trying to fight my way out of a 34 into a 32. It's harder than I thought it would be. I have one pair of 32x34 jeans that I keep trying on every week to see if I'm any closer to fitting into them... Right now I'm starting to sell a ton of my designer clothes (mostly jeans and track jackets) that don't fit me anymore on Ebay. Hopefully, once the money starts to add up a little bit I will have enough (with some saving other money too) to go out and buy a new wardrobe... and hopefully by then I will be closer to where I want to be body-wise...

Take Care,
-Sam:)
 
good news of the night..... 10753 steps...

yup there is no craziness a cranked up iPod & an empty house can't cure with the right dance moves.... & aren't they all right ones if no one is watching?

Ok off to the shower! :)
 
I know how you feel about not wanting to buy new close when you are transitioning...I am that way to. However lately I have been buying a few things here and there because I need close that "fit" and fit well. I tend to feel better when I have something new on though...how do these new jeans make you feel?

I found some new motivation yesterday...today is a good day. I hope you are having a splendid day to!
 
yeah I'm pretty proud to be getting my steps in!

I just did over 10,000 steps again today! At 10204 at the moment...
Finally I think I am getting the hang of this. HOPE SO...bought danged time.
 
I am one lazy lass.

I took a later shift today, to give me some recovery time from the super bowl & since this isn't a paycheck week, why not? Nothing pressing to do on a Monday morning.

Well I drank all of 2 & a half lite beers last night & it was paced over about 6 hours, so nope no hangover. I decided last night that I would sleep in a bit then get up, work out, make breakfast, shower & then pack lunch before work.

uh... in plan its awesome. In reality.
well I got breakfast & I did pack lunch. Even showered. But working out, didn't work out.

Whose fault? JUST ME.

Big goober. I think after the boss leaves around 5 I will have to find a million reasons for me to constantly be going up & down the stairs. Might even have to close my door & do some "filing" (er.. marching in place while I file reports.)

Something. Either that or I will be working out at 9pm when I get home. Which might be another option.

All I know is working out right after I wake up doesn't seem to work no matter if I get up early or late. Evidently its just not me.
 
Howdy Moon,
You will get those workouts in,it is so hard to find time
and specially whe things are hectic 24/7 like around here lol.
Well your doing gr8 congratson 181 almost to the lovely 170's!!Tammy
 
So I am feeling shaky today. Got in the 35 minutes walking/jogging last night, but didn't get much sleep.

I have an appointment at 3pm to see a new psychiatrist to get meds & I am really not looking forward to this. I am sick of not being able to do things or be in public longer than 15 minutes, but I really don't want to feel like I have to take a pill everyday to feel normal. My therapist thinks this is the best bet at the moment since nothing else seems to be helping. I do the breathing, the mediation, the visualization, all of it. Just doesn't seem to be working. I really hate this but I want me back.

I need to just bite the bullet & give it a shot, but I just want to be able to handle this on my own.
ggrrrrr.

I want to be able to train for a race & know that I will feel up to being in the crowd that day.

Wish me luck. I am trying to just trust that what ever needs to happen will happen & that there is something out there that has my best interest in mind. I have to quit fighting & trust a little. but dang that is so hard to do.

As it says in Desiderata "And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
 
I am trying to just trust that what ever needs to happen will happen & that there is something out there that has my best interest in mind
Click to expand...
you have your best interest in mind -and that's what counts... you are not sitting in a dark room feeling sorry for yourself -you are proactively trying to better yourself... it will get better... I don't know when but it will...

Don't do yoga -that pretzelness is just annoying and adds stress :)

Sex - lots of it..yeah that's the ticket :)
 
Well as much as weekends & some nights will allow. Unfortunately my man married the Marines before meeting me, so they get first dibs.

You are right I am proactively striving to do something to make the change. As much as I like to stay home, sometimes in a dark room if the the fire place is roaring, I really want to be able to get out & do stuff. I would kill to spend a day walking around the outlets or the aquarium right about now!
 
I hope this mellow for you girl! Sorry to hear the crowds are getting to you. I didn't know that was going on with you. Is it something new that has surfaced? Or something that's been around for a while? I hope the meds help you.
 
I have dealt with post traumatic symptoms since I was 15, typically just panic attacks. In the past year the agoraphobia has gotten intense. I tried just taking it easy, but its not going away. I haven't really talked about it. Course today I have mentioned it to a couple of people & then on here as well & it kinda feels liberating saying it. I shouldn't be so ashamed since its nothing I am doing to myself. ...plus hopefully this will be the trick to send it packing & get me back to me.

Life is all about change & hope we all have changes for the better soon!
 
I once met someone with agoraphobia too. At the time I was helping out at a doctors clinic type thing. I remember he rescheduled his appointment 5 times over 4 months because he just couldnt leave the house. Sounds like you are doing better than he is. Sorry to hear you have been having to deal with that, it must be so hard. I wonder what causes that to happen to people. I sure hope you find the right balance and can lead a normal life. You're a strong woman, you can do it!
 
MissJellyBelly said:
you can do it!
Click to expand...

That I can... just have to figure out how exactly I can. :D

So far I haven't had to reschedule any doctors appointments, but I have hated the last two I went to & vowed not to go back... of course I will, but it sucks. Its really draining to have those massive freakout moments.

Thanks for the support.
 
MoonGoddess said:
\I shouldn't be so ashamed since its nothing I am doing to myself. ...plus hopefully this will be the trick to send it packing & get me back to me.
Click to expand...
there's nothing attached to you that you should ever be ashamed of - your past is what makes you the remarkable woman you are today...

Confession is sometimes good for the soul whether it be with people you know -who won't judge you ( :raises hand: :D or anonymously at places like sometimes just letting it go makes you feel better.
 
Hey pretty lady!

I can't imagine what it's like to have PTSD or agoraphobia. I sometimes have issues with crowds (rarely anymore) and I have had 2 panic attacks in my lifetime. Panic attacks suck. I thought I was having a heart attack, and thought I was going to die right then and there.... Anyways, I know you can get through this. You've already made a huge step by starting to see a professional to get some help with this. Lots of people have struggled with agorophobia, so don't ever be ashamed to talk about it. Hugs:)

-Sam
 
Hang in there :) As if life was not already difficult enough! I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. I wish there was something amazing I could say that would help you but for now just know that I am thinking of you and wish you a speedy recovery.

I love to travel so that is what helps me get over my fear of flying. I hate airplanes but when I finally get to my destination I realize that all the anguish and stress was worth it.

Don't let this keep you from enjoying the big wide world. There is so much to see and do and experience. Do what I do..have a big margarita or bloody mary first...it takes the edge off :)
 
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