MoonGoddess's Path

Hey, I think youre doing great. If you are trying to get 10,000 steps, have you tried those walking dvd's? My mom does those in the winter because she lives in CO, and she loves it. She said that she even gets a good sweat out of it. Have a good day tomorrow! And just do your best. :)
 
Haven't tried the walking DVDs. might have to see if they are on netflix. for now the treadmill seems to be keeping me busy just needed more time for it today. Long day at work & then came home today to let the dog out & spend 30 minutes on it then back to work for a board meeting. Now I'm home & pooped! Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight. I'm going to try anyway.
 
Steps Log

On my way to 10,000 steps a day regularly... :cool:

2/24 - 7884
2/25 - 6697
2/26 - 6181
2/27 - 2584 not such a great day for me movement wise....
2/28 - 12,596 at 9:42pm....not too shabby! Did more than the 10,000 steps today.
3/1 - 3195
3/2 - 4783
 
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Ok so today has been another challenging day at work. Lotsa of people drama & I have to be the one to try & straighten it out, ontop of all the other crap I'm expected to do. Argh. Anyway I ended up making it to 2:30 before even getting a chance to grab anything to eat... beside the small breakfast drink I had had this morning. Then I was so pissed about stuff I didn't even want to eat much. Ended up having some yogurt & a banana. This day has worn me out. I got home took a nap & then had some tuna & pasta with miso mayo, but I'm just not into food today. I know its got a lot to do with the stress levels being so high. I used to deal with it by eating crap from a drive through or desserts. Now I'm trained not to do that & don't even really want anything.

So today was a wash. No energy to workout & I'm just going to bed again. Tomorrow is a whole new day.

Then I will eat right, even if I have to have the whole room stop for 30 minutes while I eat (taking the rest of the tuna salad in with me) & I am going to work out.

My mom is going to come visit me tomorrow late & spend the night, as long as she wakes up tomorrow feeling ok. She has good days where she seems normal & then sometimes the cancer is just too much for her & it zaps her energy. So hopefully she will be feeling good & drive the three hours to my house. I feel guilty sometimes because I kinda dread seeing her sometimes. Its strange to see her not feeling good. I would rather deny it all & pretend that life is fine. Ug. Ok I'm going to bed. Tomorrow WILL be better....expect who know what kind of crap Mom will want to eat... she's a junk food junkie & tends to use the excuse of she is dying anyway so why not enjoy every last minute. How do you argue with that, but I am not dying & need to stay on track, so hopefully we will find some middle ground somewhere. :) We always have seemed to be on opposite sides of thought.
 
Hey you - sometimes I have days like that were I just dont feel liek eating - as for your mom - im sorry to hear abt her and cancer and such - I lived with my grandfather and watched him die of cancer - very hard and sad and it hurt especially when he was such a strong stubborn iron willed man - Seeing some you love and are close to be deathly ill isnt easy to do and actually I have an aunt that is survivng cancer -she jokes all the time abt things that arent funny her humour she takes to it - it is hard and we still have a hard time visiting her - not ot mention she is the one I already dont liek - lol - I hope your mom has a good day and makes it out tomorrow and you will do just fine
 
Hey :)
You know, reading your post, something dawned on me. Alot of us in this forum who are trying to lose weight are taking on too much at work, home etc. You and I for instance:
While I was working, it was the same way. Sometimes I would take responsibility for everything in the office, and everyone would literally leave it to me to fix. But since I quit, I have learned to take time for myself. That has to be the first priority.
You need to take care of yourself. You are going to just run yourself down if you keep going this way. I dont care if you are drowning in paper. You are not going to be able to focus and do your best if you dont have energy.

About your mom; my dad sometimes seems as if he would rather that he could pretend that my granna isn't dying of cancer. I totally understand that you dont want to face it. But sometimes it's best to face it head on, because you will have to deal with it someday. It might be better to do while your mom is still here. I am sorry if I am sounding morbid, it's just that I have had to be SO honest with myself so that I can take good care of my granna, and I believe you need to take care of yourself right now.
 
We always have seemed to be on opposite sides of thought.
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I'm not sure you'd be mother and daughter if you actually did think alike :)

while she makes a good point that since she's dying it shouldn't matter what she eats - but if she ate healthier it might make the time she has left more pleasant...

I hear ya on the people drama... Im ready to move to cave and stay there forever... full body waxes are still an option
 
Yeah I imagine squashing people's heads as they talk sometimes.

I'm the Administrative Director which means its my job to step in & make everyone play nice. Sometimes I just want to send them to corners & say duke it out & clean up the mess when you are done, because this is petty crap & has nothing to do with me. But alas I have to be PC & document everything so they all feel heard. Today seems to be a better day.

I AM EATING LUNCH as I type. Just had to tell someone that no I couldn't meet now, but they can come back in 30 minutes. Gals gotta do what she has to do. Plus I had an EggMcMuffin (no meat) on the way to work. I know I shouldn't have, but I wanted to make sure that I was going to get in some calories today. I can not slip back into unhealthy patterns of losing weight.

As for the mom/daughter thing, I just can't even imagine having a mom that I saw eye to eye with. She wasn't around much when I was younger, so I think its hard for me to respect her views sometimes & hard for her to see why I don't just trust her. We both do the best we can. We are finding ways to connect now that we know time is limited.

She is beyond eating healthy. She will try stuff that I fix but doesn't even fix it herself. Its a novelty. She has been that way her whole life & she won't change. All I can do is take care of myself.

Hope you all are having a great day. I'm back to work... hoping to get some treadmill time in before she arrives after work so I thought I'd stop in now.
 
So stress is great for motivation to exercise! Got pissed after learning that Mom felt great today & decided to go hang out with her friends instead of coming to see me. So typical. I'm over it all. I try. So then she calls at 7:45 & says that she decided she would actually come down after all & was on the way. Whatever. She already pissed me off with the yeah I will, oh well maybe not, nah...ok so yeah Bullshit. Its not longer the lets bond & spend sometime together thing, it feels like I have pressured her into it. So I took the frustration to the treadmill & burned through 6 miles. I will feel it tomorrow!

So now I wait to see if she is going to show up tonight. Then who knows. Hopefully I won't have to eat crap & not walk tomorrow...but we shall see.

All I know is I am so glad I live 3 hours away & there is a buffer between us so I can live my life!
 
Ouch sorry to hear that - that is crap - I hate it when my friends do that to me - I couldnt imagine my own mother - what a cow - sorry but she deserved that - good for you for exercisign out your stress it is amazing and really adds to the work out !!!
 
So she did end up coming down. Got to my place around 11pm, then wanted to stay up & chat... I had to cut her off around midnight & get some sleep (had an eye doctor's appointment at 9:30 the next morning.. always good to go in droopy eyed!). Anyway she apoligized for not being clear with her plans (AGAIN...plus it wasn't that she wasn't clear, she was just plain flakey!.. anyway). I just let it go. We ended up driving over to Jacksonville & going to a quilt shop she had heard about. Was fun & she ended up buying me some fabric I didn't need, made her feel better. I'm glad that now that I'm older I can see things for what they are & refused to take it personally. Hopefully if I ever end up having kids I can know how not to be. She means well I'm sure & I know she cares. We ended up eating lunch & walking around the mall there, so I was able to eat something decent & she could get her crap. It was a sad depressing place. Its a town that is based on the Marine base there & just isn't the happiest place right now with all the deployments. Kinda made me glad for what we had & that we are all safe.

Even made dinner, black beans & rice, peaches, along side broiled tuna for me & chicken teriyaki for her. Not to bad.

She noticed I lost weigh which for a moment made me kinda glad, til she added the "I was really starting to get worried about you".... gr. Always gotta add in the lil jab huh? lol

Oh well. I am now back on my own & can get some quality time in with the treadmill!
 
Hopefully if I ever end up having kids I can know how not to be.
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In my later years I've always considered it a bit of a blessing that I can't have children - so I would never inflict on another what was done to me :) (my mother is not a bad person but she is just like her mother...)
 
& I don't want to continue the cycle of madness. I actually thought my grandmother was my mom for many years when I was little & assumed that my mom had adopted me! lol We were just so alike & my mom & me so different, even down to the hair color.





Ug just dawned on me that I am going to have no way of weighing myself the next few days! I have a work retreat where we go to a beach house to harsh out the planning for the next year & work on any heated issues.

So yuck, group meals... of who knows what & no way to know if I am adding on poundage. & they are out of their minds if they think I'm getting in a bathing suit! Think I'm going to have to pack some stuff I know is good & that way I can just move stuff around on my plate if its too nasty & then eat the good stuff later in my room! lol
 
Hey you - I hope all went well over the weekend with the retreat - that was this weekend right - Ive missed seeing you around - Looking forward to hearing abt your weekend!!!
 
Well I am officially off work & able to check back in!

Still at the house ON THE BEACH.... so nice! The full moon over the water is AMAZING! We watched the dolphins play at lunch. Now is the times I love. We have to turn in the keys tomorrow & I volunteered to stay over & turn in the keys...hehehe which means I have the place to myself! Loving it! I can only imagine a life where I can live right on the beach. With a hot tub, jacuzzi tub, this place even has an elevator to get from the garage floor to the third level. Ahhhh...

But alas I have no clue what I weigh or how many calories I have consumed. Last night we went out to a local seafood spot & I had steamed veggies, garlic red potatoes & some garlic encrusted salmon... & too much red wine. :) We grilled fish & had peel & eat shrimp the night before. Had sandwiches for lunch (dry turkey & cheddar with spinch for me), eggs & potatoes for breakfast. So I don't feel like I have done terrible. Didn't even touch the hidden stash of healthy treats & bars. Haven't been hungry. Passed on the ice cream run last night. So who knows.... its been great. Lotsa stress & work, but then the beach & ocean is so calming & grounding. Just makes it all worth while.

So tomorrow its back to watching the calories & exercising.... but for tonight...I'm just going to kick back with this beer & watch the waves roll in. :)

Hope all is wonderful in your world.
 
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