Misty's Diary

Aug 6, 2008

Starting weight, with no clothes and nothing in the tummy: 119.8

Bit skeptical, but I have been eating healthy these past couple days. Didn't get outside yesterday because it was raining like crazy. Planning to leave work early and get some exercise. Man, I forgot what a long process weight loss was for a bit- gotta be patient.
 
Amazingly enough, I have better control over my eating habits outside than I do at home. I spent the day with a friend today so I didn't get any exercise done. Went to watch "Pineapple Express"- best movie evvverrrr! I heart James Franco and Seth Rogen. I haven't laughed so much in a while. Then went to Montana's and finally a little trip to Starbucks where me and my friend wrote a letter to a third friend- which I have to drop in the mail soon. Good day overall.

However, I am on holidays. Good opportunity for me to hit the gym, and I have no excuse not to. I got in exercise on Thurs and Fri of last week, as well as the weekend. I wasn't as hard core on the weekend as I was on the two week days. My gosh...the more I think of it...the more I realize I am right...I can go to the gym every single day remaining of this week.

Also calculated my body fat....34.something %...not in the healthy range :( Oh well. Working towards a healthy body!
 
I took an hour and a half walk today- I'm not sure ho wmany miles that comes out to. I keep forgetting to take my pedometer. I'll take it tomorrow....or on Saturday- whichever day I go out for a walk.

My sister "tagged" some pics from last year on Facebook. Imagine my suprise when I log on to see "23 pictures of you tagged" pop up. And she picked the worst pictures too! Me at my heaviest weight! So after spending 10 minutes untagging all the pictures I actually printed one of them off and tacked it onto my softboard. Good reminder of the weight I DO NOT want to be at. It has also made me more conscious of the chub on my face, lol.

Anyways, on with the weight loss. I can do it :)
 
I had a heavy lunch and *ice cream* today. However, I did spend an hour at the gym so hopefully I didn't do too much damage.

Today I watched a movie called...actually I forget what it was called, but it was about a girl who put on a fat suit for a social experiment- and the point was to show that fat people were treated differently because of their weight, which I hate to say but is true. Our society strives to move above and beyond stereotypes and prejudices and inequality but it all still exists today.

Anyways, I have been feeling more "fat" than usual these past few days. My little sister has taken to calling me "fatty"- which I hate- and it really shouldn't get to me- but it does.

I have to keep reminding myself to keep my eye on the goal and celebrating small accomplishments.
 
Hey don't listen to your sister calling you fatty. If it makes you feel any berr, pick something that she hates and call her that (I'm all for revenge haha). I have been feeling fat lately too. I fell off my diet alot lately and I hardly have time to workout. I find that as soon as I do workout though my diet and everything sort of falls into place. It's such a great feeling. Hang in there just dig yourself out of the rut.
 
Today I went out with Fred. The issue of weight came up. Fred said I was more "mushy" than muscular- this coming from a guy gifted with the right genes- so obviously that just killed the night for me. I didn't act like it though, acted as if what he said didn't bother me at all, when really I'm thinking...OMG, I just want get out of this car and hit the gym RIGHT NOW. And lose all the weight and tone up. And be like...mushy? Where?

I told him straight up that I was in a healthy weight range, well more like on the border of the healthy weight range and overweight territory. Anyways, he was helpful enough to suggest martial arts to tone up and get all tough-ened up. I also think his last ex was 90 lbs. Anyways, cutting past all the bs I came home and am thinking to myself, I really need to take losing the last 20 lbs and toning up seriously.

I think after losing the first bit of weight my mind has taken to thinking that's it. That's enough. When the reality is, no, I am borderline overweight. If I did gain back the few lbs I'm back into overweight territory. I need to push myself to lose the extra 20 to get to my ideal weight.

I'm just writing down everything going through my head right now. For one, I'm sick of being reminded I'm chubby, fat, mushy, whatever the hell you want to call it. It would be such a relief to not think of losing the weight for once. And to get to that state of mental relief I need to push myself towards this. I won't know what my potential is unless I try. I know I haven't been trin, I've been being easy on myself- and that's the last thing I need right now. I know times are tough, but time doesn't wait for any man.
 
Pictures are such great motivating tools sometimes.

I was going through some pictures of me and my friends this morning- they were from last year. "Ugh"- enough said. Not my friends, me.

Plan of action for today: shower, gym, errands, job huting. perhaps a walk if im still up for it, writing, sleep.
 
August 16, 2008, 4:32 pm

So I made it to the gym today, yayyy! 4 miles in total on the eliptical/ walking. And then I worked on a few on my muscles: arms and stomach basically.

My friend, K, has invited me out for a night on the town. I think I really need a night out but I'm going to say no for the following reasons:

a) Short on the dough with those classes next month
b) I could really do with my nightly walk
c) I usually can't resist temptation and the places we go to don't serve up the most healthy dishes, plus there is always dessert- I don't have the will power to deal with that tonite.

Man, I still can't believe the mushy comment I got yesterday. It's funny- what an interesting choice of words. *rolls eyes*

Going to eat lunch, yayyy!
 
August 17, 2008, 12:54 pm

I didn't go for for a walk yesterday because my workout at 1 pm just sapped my energy- isn't a work out supposed to energize you?

I have two more days of vacation left, today and tomorrow. But really, I have shit loads of stuff to do tomorrow so it won't even feel like the last day of relaxation. Then it's back to work for another month and a bit. Not sure what's going to happen with my life after that point.

DP classes start Sept 2. Scary. No, not really. I just need to work out the financial mess I am in. Actually sit down and make a budget of sorts- a game plan.

Anyhoo...life goes on. Going for another workout today. Wish me luck = )
 
August 17, 2008, 4:08 pm

I got back from the gym. Good workout I think. I went for 2 miles on the eliptical and worked out my arms, shoulder area. The walk to and back home from the gym must be at least a mile- so that's 3 miles of walking in total for today.

Things I've had to eat:
Breakfast:
- Bowl of weetabix and milk ( 200 cal)
- Half a peach ( 30 cal )
Snack:
- Fibre granola bar ( 140 cal)
- Cup of tea

I'm going to have a late lunch/ early dinner and then another snack after that. I think I have enough calories to spend....

Anyways, there's this new philosophy floating around in my head...actually come to think of it it's the Nike slogan...Just Do It. So , really, with some things I shouldn't even think and "Just Do It"....randomness....
 
August 18, 2008, 1:47 pm

Things I accomplished today:
- Booked appointment for Physical checkup: Sept 2
- Sent resume to employment agency: will follow up with them tomorrow

Things left to do:
- Place an order for contacts (here or Square One?)
- Hair cut
- Degree: call university


I can do this...
 
Last edited:
Adeon, sent you a pvt message.

Well today I did crummy in terms of diet. I walked for about half an hour- to and from the hair salon. So...yeah. Back to work tomorrow. I hope I'm not too tired/ have too much to catch up on to not go to the gym. Let's see....

On the upside, this sprut of motivation is a good thing. At least it gets me off my bum, haha.
 
I was doing pretty good these past few days until tonight. Felt frustrated and went on an emotional eating binge...al the wrong foods too...baked fries, like 8-10 breaded chicken fingers and a whole carrot muffin- what is wrong with me?

Hitting the gym tomorrow. No more emotional binging.
 
whoa is me

Sat with the GM at lunch today. Apparently he's on a diet too- and he says it's easy for him to lose weight. I'll be damned if he loses more than I do without even trying.

Anyhoo, Mark said he had lost close to 10 lbs too, and it shows! He looks cuter than he did last year. Ugh, all these dudes losing weight. I need to catch up.

I'm going to see if I can nap today and then go to the gym. Or nap and go for a walk. It's getting colder. I also need to apply to 2-3 places today. I have not been job hunting and I neeeeed to get my act together.

I'm meeting V tomorrow and have signed up for salsa lessons at the end of Sept. They run through till Nov- this should be good for me. I'm prone to SAD during the winter and this should keep me from feeling blah.

,
 
I feel ticked off this morning. I can't point my finger to any one thing in particular though. I don't know why I feel irritated.

10 miutes later...
Feel better now. But I do feel tired.
 
misty22 said:
I feel ticked off this morning. I can't point my finger to any one thing in particular though. I don't know why I feel irritated.

10 miutes later...
Feel better now. But I do feel tired.
Click to expand...

Hey Misty,
Sounds like you have been busy. Salsa lessons sound like a wicked awesome idea. I have always wanted to take some myself. Enjoy!! Sounds like you are doing good...and how cold is it?

ttylater
love yas
your friend
natalie jo :seeya:
 
I went to a friend's tonite. Started reading a book by Dale Carnegie, and I forget what it is called- it's about how to deal with life and your career. I asked V if I could borrow it once she is done. I miss reading. I should do it more often.

Anyways, plan of action for these next two days:
- No junk food of any sort of kind, this includes: coke, sprite, chocolates, ice cream, choc chip granola bars, chips, anything fatty.
- Getting my ass to the gym on Sunday
- Taking a walk on Monday (as gym will be closed)

If I don't commit to this, it will never ever work. No matter how many journal entries I put down here. No matter how much I talk to myself. I need to commit to living a healthy life. I'm going to try to stick to the above for the next *two* days. Let's see how I do. Hopefully there will be no slip-ups. Also, this weekend provides an excellent opportunity for me to apply to jobs and brush up on my interview skills. I can't afford to bomb a phone interview if I do get one next week or week after or whenever. I might hit the library or the coffee shop on Sunday/Monday.

Thank you for dropping in Nat!
Nat, its been cold most mornings now. We're in the twenties (celcius) these days. I think the fall weather will kick in late sept.
 
I'm glad I went to V's on Saturday. I am more determined to make my life work for me. I've decided to take a combination of the transit and GO every Tues and Thurs because it just makes no sense to take the car.

I have been good and take my vitamins and iron pills today. I have been lacking energy the entire weekend. Today I feel better because I got some sleep.


Some iron rich veggies:
VEGETABLES
Asparagus, canned, drained 250 ml, 2.5 mg
Green peas 250 ml, 3.0 mg
Peppers, hot, red, dried, powder 15 ml, 2.3 mg
Spinach, canned, drained 250 ml, 5.0 mg
Spinach cooked 250 ml, 4.2 mg
Tomato juice 250 ml, 2.3 mg

Some fibre rich foods:
wholegrain breakfast cereals and breads, wholewheat pasta, brown rice, jacket potatoes, peas, beans, lentils, fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds.

Tomato juice and spinach sound good...also more veggies in general should be incorporated into my diet.

I took a walk with my sister yesterday, and I'm glad I did. It was great having company. She's only 14 but it was good to get out with someone. I almost always take a walk alone.

I'm job hunting today as well....let's hope I land an interview. As well, brushing up on interview techniques.

I had a disturbing dream last night. I think it had something to do with my ex. I dreamt I was growing up with a foster family and I refused to give my step brother bus tickets- which cost me $52. In anger, he sneaked into the washroom while I was having a shower and changed the temperature of the water to absolutely boiling and wouldn't let me out of the shower until I gave him the tickets. Panicking, as boiling water was being sprayed over me I told him where the tickets were.

Weirdly, I know where the elements for the dream came from. I was watching the Simple Life last night and Paris and Nicole were hiding in the shower- hence the shower scene. My sister was talking about $52 last night- hence the money. And I think the step brother was as abusive as my ex. Somehow my mind tied all three together. Weird.
 
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