Misty's Diary

Okay, so after a 1 month hiatus, I finally made it to the gym. I spent about 42 minutes on the eliptical- doing 2. something miles seemed difficult after not being to the gym in a while.....

I have to check my weight tomorrow morning because I may have gained back a lb or two...grr....they're so hard to keep off. But I'm determined again...100 lbs or bust!!
 
Dilemmas.

Okay...so...I am in a bit of a muddle.

Started work with this place about two weeks ago. I've already taken two half days...and now I got a call for an interview from a place that is likely to pay more.

Dilemma 1:


Another half day? A sick day?
I'd rather take a sick day than another half day. It's just a hassle commuting back and forth.

Dilemma 2:

What to say to management?
Obviously a sick day means calling to say that I am sick. So there's my reason. No explanation needed. Sick means not feeling well.

Can't exactly say I am going to interview somewhere else....boy, would they hate me...


Dilemma 3:

Phone call or e-mail?
I could e-mail management and just tell them I won't be coming in. Call the secretary and leave her a voice mail early in the morning. Call the head for good measure. That would do it. As for work, I would have to stay back the day before and complete everything that I plan to do or everything that needs to be sent out.

Okay. It helps to write things out sometimes.

Dilemma 4:

Not too sure what this new job entails. Have to ask HR what the position is exactly when scheduling interview.

Dilemma 5:

Interview practice. How to beat out the competition? Practice. Practice. Practice. No nervousness.

Okay. Phew.
 
I'm exhausted! I walked 4 miles today...did a bit of weights. Ate relatively healthy. Overall, a good day, thank God.

I don't know what made me tackle the elliptical with such force today. Must be all the motivation from the forum.....

Anyhoo...happy...just hope I can keep this up for the week. My goal is doing at least 2 miles on the elliptical...and spending 3 more days at the gym...at the least. God, I'm tired, going to shower and then it is bed time!
 
I have not been looking after myself properly these past few days. My exercise has been zero. Only went to the gym once last week. I feel guilty for not having gone. I pay for a gym membership every two weeks- for a gym I hardly use. And it is my fault!

The summer went great. I was regular. Now...blah, the winter blues have kicked in as well. Yesterday I felt "fat". Just felt blah.

Anyways, am on my TOM, and hoping that any weight I put on is solely due to water retention. Went crazy with the cravings a couple days back but back onto eating when I feel hungry, Have work tonight so can't go to the gym. Plan on going tomorrow and Wednesday- thinking of skipping out on dinner with a few friends. Why? Because...the last time I saw them I weighed around 127-128 lbs and the pictures came out horrible. I have not lost much since then and would dread seeing pictures of me again. I want to get down to at least 124lbs by the end of this week. I have been recording my weight every morning. It's so frustrating sometimes.

Anyhoo, hopefully I am good to myself this week.
 
I believe I am down to 126lbs....or 125 with luck (weighed with two t-shirts on, dont know if that makes a 1lb difference). The goal for the end of this month is ...around 121 or 120 lbs....that is 4-5 lbs off. Right now, I don't know if I can pull it off. But it's not totally unrealistic either. I have 14 more days- 2 weeks.

The office xmas party is on the 29th- I'd like to look decent for it. Don't even know what I am wearing.

I can do this. Pain is pleasure.
 
Weight for Nov 17, 2007: 126 lbs

Expected weight for Nov 30, 2007: 122 lbs.

Weight loss goal for next two weeks= 4 lbs.

Try and try again until you succeed....
 
So...I walked 5-6 miles. My workout went well- I'll hit the weights tomorrow.

Also got honked by a guy who was impatient to make a right turn while I was crossing the crosswalk. I feel he deserves mention in my diary. The old jackass.

Just thinking...as far as I can remember I have always been judged on my appearance. In one way or another, by someone or another...my weight has been brought up. I really want to change that. No more baggy jeans and chubby cheeks. Tired of it. Have to remind myself.

Anyways, blah, I feel like rambling...what better place. I have never been thin...I think the lowest weight I have been in the past few years is 115lb...I dunno how I came up with that number, all I remember was thinking that a few days ago.

I looked up my ideal weight according to my height and age today and it came to 94-105 lbs--- which makes my 100 lb goal fall in between, which is good. Currently standing at 126lbs...and not liking it. But will not give up. Can't give up.

Also...man, today I was thinking, I'd love to move- even if it is just moving out of the parent's house, and not another country. The snow is depressing me.
 
Walked about 4 miles today. Yayyyyy.

God, I hope I can keep this up. This is the first weekend where I have been to the gym two days in a row. Also, in other news I have an inflammation that is really causing some discomfort. Hopefully the swelling goes down soon otherwise a surgical procedure will be carried out- I don't want it to get to that. The swelling is really bad....

Anyways....productive day today. The doctor told me I need to have more fibre in my diet. That means bran...apples...bananas, pears...veggies. I'll try baked potato this week too. Also, a glass of metamucil....haha.

Okay. Applying to a part-time job now. Wish me luck.
 
My back hurts like hell. Had to take a break from the gym. 125 lbs. Not happy. Goal for this month is 122....
 
I feel like I need to list my short-term and long-term goals somewhere.

Short-term goals are:
January 2008
- 10 lbs of weight loss
- License
- Car
- Computer

Mid-term(??) goal:
Sept-Oct 2008
- Student loan repayment
- Additional 15 lbs lost

Long-term:
2009
- Place of my own
 
One week and the pain has reduced greatly. The swelling still remains- which means hot baths and ointment will continue this week.

With the pain out of the way I think I will hit the gym tomorrow. I am more determined now- I believe I can do this. My weight is the *one* thing I have control over.

Besides, have to prove a certain someone wrong.
 
Hiya Misty,
I am back and I have been slacking, but doing better...
I have read through your journals and I hope you don't have to get the surgery.. I hope the pain stops soon ...
Keep up the good work...
You seem to be doing good .. I love your positive attitude ...
I know sometimes we can get negative tudes ... but just keep picturing yourself thin, healthy and not being to hold back all the hotties...
Keep treacking
love yas
always
natalie jo :Angel_anim:
 
There is a big event coming up on December 18/19. Everyone I know will be there- and I NEED TO LOOK GOOD FOR IT. Oh God, just the thought of showing up at the weight I am right now is depressing.

I have 21 days to look semi-decent...can I do it???

Also...4 birthdays in December...gifts....oh gosh. One going-away party as well....lots of shopping to do. I think I'll get Vai and Knix a body shop gift. For my dad I will likely get a sweater or pant this weekend. Not sure what I would get Jose...I'll think of an idea with Knix....and same with the going-away party.
 
Okay, so vai's bday is on the 18th- I have 18 days to work the lbs away. My weight is hovering the 125-124 lb range.

I think I am aiming for 120lbs by Dec.18. Let's hope this works.
 
Bit worried. Still have 5 lbs to lose and the party is only 17 days away. :S


AHHHHHHH!!!! I can do this! I can dooooo this!!
 
I think I am down to 124lbs. 4 more lbs to go....until the party...on the 18th....sigh. I keep telling myself I can do this...only to come home from work to think God, how can I? No, it's not impossible, if others can do it I can too...then why does it seem like an impossible wall to climb?
 
misty22 said:
I think I am down to 124lbs. 4 more lbs to go....until the party...on the 18th....sigh. I keep telling myself I can do this...only to come home from work to think God, how can I? No, it's not impossible, if others can do it I can too...then why does it seem like an impossible wall to climb?
Click to expand...

It is possible hun ...
just like it is possible for me to lose weight...
Just keep treacking .. you will do it!

love yas
always
natalie jo :grouphug:
 
Thanks Nat. You are a great motivator!

You know, everyday I look at myself and I am unhappy with what I see in the mirror- don't like what I see in pictures either. I recognize the need for change. Change is hard, I know. Sometimes I even wonder if what I want is possible.

I've had enough of myself. I'm not satisfied, I'm not happy, I'm not self-confident. It's a vicious circle. I need to *make* myself happy. I can't depend on anyone else to give me what I want. If what I want is to be successful, thin, and happy, then that is something *I* need to make an effort towards. A conscious effort.

I've had enough of the low-esteem days. I've had enough of the negative chatter in my head. I'm sick of it. I'm need to make things work for me. I need to work on me. The focus should be on me. I have to get my lazy ass to work.

It's been a hard road. This year has perhaps been the worst year in my entire life. That doesn't mean I should not move on. That should be even more of a reason for me to move on- to prove to myself and others that I can change for the better. No game plan, no planning. I gotta do it. Just do it.
 
Still at 125 lbs...what is wrong with me...grrr...the aim for thsi weekend is to go to the gym on both saturday and sunday. A day at a time.
 
misty22 said:
Still at 125 lbs...what is wrong with me...grrr...the aim for thsi weekend is to go to the gym on both saturday and sunday. A day at a time.
Click to expand...

You might not reach your goal by the time you want to meet it, but you will take the weight off soon ..just keep treacking hun .. I believe in you ..if I can walk away from this terrible break up and walk proud four weeks later and walk ... people here are awesome ...
Read Omega's journal ABBAgirl's journal Frankie's Journal ..the people who write in my journal ..they will inspire you .. :driving:

You rock hun
This is possible ...
You go girl ...

love yas
always
natalie jo :seeya:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top