Misty's Diary

Err....right some readjustment needed. I went on vacation with family and ate a lot. In fact, I gained weight. So in addition to gaining weight before I left and the weight I gained on vacation I now weight 136.6 lbs- at least that is what my NEW scale tells me. Which is another thing that has happened. I had an analog, but I received a friend's elecctronic scale.

Anyways, not going to beat myself up about it. I know what I have to do. I know my goals. I know I HAVE to do it. I know summer is only two months more. So:

GOAL: LOSE 36 LBS
TIME: 3-4 MONTHS
WHY:
SO I CAN FIT INTO MORE THAN HALF MY WARDDROBE
SO I CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF
SO I CAN REGAIN MY CONFIDENCE
SO I CAN GO INTO A STORE AND NOT BE AFRAID TO TRY CLOTHES ON
SO I CAN SHOW DAVID HOW FUKING WRONG HE WAS
SO I CAN PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I HAVE THE WILL AND THE POWER TO DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR MYSELF
SO I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE HOW BIG MY TUMMY IS
SO I DON'T HAVE TO THINK I LOOK PREGNANT
SO I DON'T HAVE TO HEAR CRITICISM FROM OTHERS
SO I CAN FEEL LIKE I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING
SO I DON'T HAVE TO WHINE ABOUT BEING CHUBBY
SO I DON'T HAVE TO HEAR VAI TELLING ME I'M "VOLUPTUOUS"
SO I CAN TURN HEADS- YES, I'M A ATTENTION WHORE
SO I DON'T HAVE TO TUG DOWN ON MY SHIRT ALL THE TIME
SO I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AND GO "BLAH"
SO I CAN LEAD A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT DISEASES
SO I CAN LOOK MY AGE
SO I CAN GET ON WITH LIFE AND NOT FEEL LIKE THIS IS HOLDING ME BACK!
 
Hiya Saira!

Hope you're doin' okay. Got your message on msn. Missed ya :D Been weird not replying to your emails every morning!

Those are some good reasons to lose weight. Do it for yourself more than anything and to be healthy. You will do it.

Hear from you soon I hope <3
 
Becks, I'm back. Will start with regular e-mails tomorrow. Once again, I'm ready to tackle this weight issue. Weight has been fluctuating but has settled at 135.6 lbs.
 
Well...hmmm, not much to report. My weight keeps fluctuating. TOM? I'm thinking of making weigh-in days Wednesday. I think I'm at 135 lbs- that's the most the scale has shown my weight to be today. The lowest has been 133.4 lbs. I think I shall go with 135 lbs. Let's see what happens on Wednesday.
 
Hey Misty! Just wanted to jump into your journal really quickly and give a shout out ...
135 pounds is not bad ..
You can do this!
and like miracle said .."Do it for youself ..."

Be true to yourself ...
You are a beautiful woman
I am having the same prob with my wardrobe ... one shirt now fits me however .. I am pleased ..lmao

well ttylater hun
always
natalie jo
 
I feel depressed. I feel suicidal. I feel like crying all day. I cried in the stall of a washroom at the mall today. A good 5 minute cry. Came out with red eyes and a red nose. I miss my fucking ex. And I hate him so much for what he has done to shatter my confidence. I feel dirty, cheap, used, broken, weak.

Sigh. I felt stressed today too, had two cups of coffee and a cup of tea so far. And one multigrain bagel with butter. It's 7 pm. I should probably have dinner now but I'm just wanting something to numb the pain I'm feeling. It's got to be my TOM too. Fucking fantastic feeling.

You know what, I give up on guys. I'm done with men.

And as for my fucked up self, I need to start doing things right. I'm fucking sick and tired of my fucking excuses, of my pity parties, of my emotional out-breaks and ups and downs. I do not want to be a victim to my hormones.To my low self-esteem related thoughts. It has to end.

I have an interview tomorrow. The way I'm feeling right now I have a gut wrenching feeling that I am going to bomb it. That's all I need. More bad luck. Yes, i'm fucking pissed and angry and frustrated and sad.
 
Well today I weighed myself mid afternoon. I haven't had a whole lot to eat so not sure if the wieght for today is accurate! This is what I did have:

- 1 banana
- 1 cup of tea
- 1 multigrain bagel with butter
- 1 soft serve cone from Yogen Fruz

I plan to finish off today with a salad and some chicken.

Anyways, right now I've weighed at 133.4- I'm going to leave it as 134 lbs on the ticker. Weigh-in days are going to be every Wednesday.
 
Hi honey,

I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling good. I wish I could make you feel better!

Don't give up on men. Not all of them are tits. Don't give up on love just because of one person.

Don't think that crying is a bad thing. Cry whenever you need to, you need to grieve so you can get over it and focus on yourself!

Don't give up, keep going!!! xxx
 
misty22 said:
I feel depressed. I feel suicidal. I feel like crying all day.
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Please talk to someone if you're feeling suicidal, someone who can help yuo - that's serious business.

misty22 said:
I miss my fucking ex. And I hate him so much for what he has done to shatter my confidence. I feel dirty, cheap, used, broken, weak.
Click to expand...
No one is worth you feeling like that... Why do you feel those things? don't keep it inside -let it out.

misty22 said:
You know what, I give up on guys. I'm done with men.
Click to expand...
Give up on boys -men are worth keeping

misty22 said:
And as for my fucked up self, I need to start doing things right. I'm fucking sick and tired of my fucking excuses, of my pity parties, of my emotional out-breaks and ups and downs. I do not want to be a victim to my hormones.To my low self-esteem related thoughts. It has to end.
Click to expand...
Talk to your doctor about how your hormones are making you feel -there are solutions available you DO NOT have to feel that way.
misty22 said:
I have an interview tomorrow. The way I'm feeling right now I have a gut wrenching feeling that I am going to bomb it. That's all I need. More bad luck. Yes, i'm fucking pissed and angry and frustrated and sad.
Click to expand...
Ever hear of self fulfilling prophecy? beleive that you will get the job and you will dazzle them on the interview...
misty22 said:
Yes, i'm fucking pissed and angry and frustrated and sad.
Click to expand...
talk to your doctor...
 
Thanks for your concern maleficient. I ended an abusive relationship recently and yes, it has been difficult. But I'm doing well today.

If I feel I need to see a doctor, I will. Right now I just don't feel I need to, but the next time I have feelings like that I will seriously consider booking an appointment with a counselor.

The interview went fine. I think I talked too much, lol.

Off to eat lunch.
 
Didn't get the job. But really, statistically, who gets a job on their firt interview? I know where I went wrong. Couldn't really imagine myself working for Bell anyways. On with the job hunt!
 
Didn't get the job. But who gets the job on their first interview anyways? On with the job hunt.

Wasn't right for the company anyways. No interest in selling what they produced.
 
Today i will be job hunting. I need to step it up because I have not been sending out applications the past two weeks. The aim is to apply to at least 5 companies today. I want to keep that up. I hope the internship at ACN I applied to works out for the best. I would absolutely love to work there or at least get a feel for what it is that I want to do there. Ah well, one down, four more to go for today. I will not give up. Well...not that there is a choice really. You either try your best or you don't- and the don't route just leads to disaster.
 
I hope everything works out for you Sai, you deserve it!

Hope you're doing okay with your weight loss too :D x
 
Beeeckkkks, I joined the gym today. But that's all I did. Just joined it. Tomorrow I'm going to go in and work out. It's a bit pricey but I'm hoping to commit to going at least 5 days a week. Let us see how this first week works out!
 
misty22 said:
Beeeckkkks, I joined the gym today. But that's all I did. Just joined it. Tomorrow I'm going to go in and work out. It's a bit pricey but I'm hoping to commit to going at least 5 days a week. Let us see how this first week works out!
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Yeaaaaaah go you! I can't believe it :D I'm jealous, I wish I had the courage and time haha. Even though all I do is just laze around all day.

Let me know how it goes :D Good luck!
 
Work has been exhausting me. I didn't go to the gym today :( However, tomorrow I'm thinking of going straight there from work...I can always pack my gym bag! :D Man, i hate being so tired by 6pm...but I've been getting up at 6 am...so...anyways, let's see how tomorrow goes. Love how the parents commented I was chubby. So. Encouraging. lol
 
misty22 said:
Work has been exhausting me. I didn't go to the gym today :( However, tomorrow I'm thinking of going straight there from work...I can always pack my gym bag! :D Man, i hate being so tired by 6pm...but I've been getting up at 6 am...so...anyways, let's see how tomorrow goes. Love how the parents commented I was chubby. So. Encouraging. lol
Click to expand...

Ignore them!

Good luck and I hope you have energy to go to the gym! :)
 
How come all the guys I've been talking to recently weigh close to what I do? Madness, I tell you!
 
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