Mishi's adventures!

Howdy Miss Mish,
I am so excited wedding books dresses woohooo.It is so much fun at 1st then as it gets closer the stress kicks in because you want everything to be perfect.I paid $699 for my dress at Davids Bridal and I was wanting to do a renewal of the vals either 5 or 10 year anniversary and I want to wear the same dress but have it altered or go buy the same dress because I didn't do the whole cleaning thing afterwards and it is so stained at the bottom.
It is a size 22 so I don't know the cost of cleaning and altering lol.

You are doing so good and I still would like to do a water arerobics class,I am going to ask the lady I babysitt for if I can tag along once to the YMCA so she can maybe show me around.Well gal keep motivated ,stay strong,you rock,have a lovely day Tammy
 
More stress:(

Seriously it is summer and my life should be a breeze right?? WRONG!!! I hate stress. I dropped my little one off to his dad's last night. He starts crying and hanging on to me (he's 5) and says he doesn't want to go. I am so stressed but I hand him off to my ex's girlfriend (who is a good person) and leave. I find out later that my ex wasn't even there. I wanted to go pick my little one up but my boyfriend said that wasn't being fair to my ex because it was his night and also it was our night and he felt like I didn't want to spend time with him. So I am crying and just upset and pissy. I eat my dinner which was healthy and then I dig into the ice cream bars. They are lower cal 150 each, but I still had 2. Then I had chips and salsa... then I was sick. I hate being so stressed. I hate not being able to do anything about my son. I hate it!!!!!! I feel guilty because I do want to spend time with my boyfriend but sometimes I feel so smothered by him. I am not sure if it is him or just the way I am interperting his words but I feel like I always need to be home. It sucks. I am not sure what to do about it. I am so emotional that if I bring it up with him I may start crying or yelling and I don't want to do that. I am not even sure if it is an issue or if it is just me going off the handle. sigh. I am off to get gas and do stuff lol. I did flip through the wedding dress magazine and there were some gorgous dresses!!! I am excited to be able to try them on. Grown up dress up:D I am having a good day so far. Calories are good and I had a great dance aerobics class this morning. I was so lost but it was fun to jump around and the teacher is so funny:) I really like classes like that. So lets see if I can keep up the good work today.
Tammy- you will love the Y when you are more comfortable. When you get involved in the classes and start to get to know the people, at least by faces, it is so nice. Like coming to your friends house to play. I love my gym and am really starting to enjoy going every day! I have picked a lot of fun classes that really get me going and work my muscles, coordination and get my heart rate up. I love it!!! There's a dimple in my butt now that is a muscle dimple lol!!!! I have never had that kind of dimple before!!!! I have the same dimple on the back of my shoulders too:D yay!!! So it's a bit slow but the results are awsome from working out!!!!
That's neat you get to take in the dress for your renewals!:) My first wedding dress was a 22 or 24. I can't remember. It is in a box in storage. I need to sell it. Or burn it;) lol not sure if I can sell a bad ju ju wedding dress to someone. I would feel guilty!
Hope you all have a good day!
 
mishi said:
Seriously it is summer and my life should be a breeze right?? WRONG!!! I hate stress. I dropped my little one off to his dad's last night. He starts crying and hanging on to me (he's 5) and says he doesn't want to go. I am so stressed but I hand him off to my ex's girlfriend (who is a good person) and leave. I find out later that my ex wasn't even there. I wanted to go pick my little one up but my boyfriend said that wasn't being fair to my ex because it was his night and also it was our night and he felt like I didn't want to spend time with him. So I am crying and just upset and pissy. I eat my dinner which was healthy and then I dig into the ice cream bars. They are lower cal 150 each, but I still had 2. Then I had chips and salsa... then I was sick. I hate being so stressed. I hate not being able to do anything about my son. I hate it!!!!!! I feel guilty because I do want to spend time with my boyfriend but sometimes I feel so smothered by him. I am not sure if it is him or just the way I am interperting his words but I feel like I always need to be home. It sucks. I am not sure what to do about it.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry last night was a rough night for you mishi - it really sounds like it sucked! It sounds to me like you should have a talk with your boyfriend about where he's coming from with the he-felt-like-I-didn't-want-to-spend-time-with-him response to your wanting to pick up your upset five-year old. Sounds like you & your boyfriend made the right call not picking your son up, since it was his night with his dad and the girlfriend is a good person. But, imo, your boyfriend did not make a good call by making you feel guilty for wanting to pick your son up. If you feel a little smothered now, it might end up being even more so when you're officially his wife. I'd try to clear it up with him now, so that he knows that your impulse to care for your son doesn't mean you don't want to spend time with him. There's only so much of mishi to go around, and sometimes - a lot of times - the little guy will shoot straight to the top of mishi's priorities, no matter what else was planned. We moms simply don't have enough energy to feel guilty for being this way, right? Our energy has go towards being good ourselves, our kids, and then everyone & everything else we love. I hope your boyfriend is understanding and there for you 100% Maybe it was just an emotional night to put behind you, maybe you guys should do some talking . . . you'll make the right decision.

Meanwhile, you're doing such a fabulous job taking care of yourself with your eating (even with a brief spurt of emotional eating in there) and exercise. You're so positive about your gym and your exercise. Congratulations on the muscle dimple on your rear! :rotflmao: That's so great!
 
Mishi, you have interesting diary here. A lot of power for your small deals with life. I am sure, I will return and will read more from your diary.
 
Good Morning all!

Thank you Slimmom for your advice. We did have a talk yesterday morning and tried to clear the air a bit. I agree that not picking my son up was the right thing to do. It's just so hard when I want him with me all the time!!! My boyfriend and I worked out some of our issues and I know where he is coming from and he knows for me as well. I am so glad to have him and love him very much. I love the fact he is open to communication which is something I have a problem with a lot of the times! So we are ok. My little one is back home and everything feels right with the world:)
Today is my best friends birthday so I will be spending the evening with her family for dinner:) I will have to be careful as we are going to this fantastic new mexican resturant called sadies. They have my favorite salsa and last time I was there (Sunday) I ate 3 baskets of chips!!! I will do better tonight:)
Going to the gym for the water aerobics. I have been to the gym every weekday for 3 weeks!! I am proud of that!
Hope you all have a great Thursday!!
svajdlenka- good to meet you. I am glad you find my ramblings interesting:) There are rough spots in everyone's lives. Just trying to do the best by my son:)
wooooo hooooo it's Thursday:jump:
bye y'all!
 
Sounds great mishi! My husband and I get on each other's nerves a fair amount :doh: , but we've learned to talk it out pretty quickly and easily (usually) . . . so it works! Have fun tonight & congratulations on getting to the gym every day for 3 weeks! That's awesome! I did my first water aerobics class at the gym last week. I'd say the median age in the pool was 65, and at first I was afraid I wasn't going to get a workout out of it - but I found that if I kept up with everything the instructor was suggesting I was definately working! Have a great weekend!
 
Howdy Mish,
I wouldn't be able to handle a situation like that for one I would want my kids all to my self I know it doesn't sound fair but you and your kids get used to a routine and each other example I fix the meals give baths we go places I tuck them in I couldn't stand an empty house even tho it gets hectic with all the kids going at it lol I would take that anyday over silence lol.So me and hubby are stuck with each other for a LONG rime haha.
You will do great tonight I HOPE you enjoy dinner and congrats on getting your workout done early so you can enjoy the rest of your day.HAVE LOTS OF FUN,TAMMY
 
Just spent 3 hrs at the gym and I am PUMPED!!! LOL

Hi all! So yesterday I knew was going to be bad food-wise. It was my bestfriend's birthday and we went out to dinner. I had two lite beers and 3 cups of chips and a healthy main course of salad and pinto beans with no cheese:D and then I cracked and got Dairy Queen on the way home. Over 2000 calories I am sure. So today I hit the water aerobics class for an hour. Walked 2 miles for 30 minutes and then went to the weight training/cardio class for another hour. I feel really tired but I feel good:) I feel strong which is a nice thing to feel. I have made a dent in the calories I have consumed and if I can be decent tonight it shouldn't be a total loss. I am at 160.0 today and I changed my ticker to reflect that. I am missing that 157 but if this 3lbs is muscle than I am proud of it. I have been working so hard at the gym and I am hoping it will pay off and maybe someday might balance some of my bad days:rolleyes: I am getting used to this new concept of liking myself. I have always liked myself but since this weight loss thing has started I have recognized that I need to improve and that has unfortunatly led me down this path of just not being satisfied with myself. Several people on my before and after pics have commented that I still look very "vivacous" in my heavier pics. I was. I wasn't satisfied with myself but I also didn't really think about it a lot. I just enjoyed life. That is missing from me now. I am so obsessed with what I eat it is hard to enjoy it. I am stressed about making good decisions everytime I go out!! I scrutinize myself in the mirror every morning, afternoon, evening, in shop windows.. etc, etc, just looking for minor improvements and thinking about what I would like to improve. I don't feel as happy and carefree as I used to. Some of that is life but also some of that is this way of eating I have chosen. I am in desperate need of a balance so that I can enjoy my food!! I need to learn to accept myself for who I am and be proud of the body that I have right now because I worked really hard for it!!! Usually while I am looking in the mirror I am thinking about what body part to improve and how I wish that was less squishy and those would perk up more and that other thing wouldn't just hang there, etc. I need to stop and readjust my thinking. Being skinny is going to suck if I am not comfortable with myself! I might as well be overweight again as I generally felt better about myself than I do now. How strange is that?? So I am working on letting things go. I dropped out of the 2 lbs/week challenge becuase it is just not going to happen. It is not my focus right now. I need to get my head right or else when I get to the weight I want it won't matter because I won't be satisfied or happy. I have some internal searching to do;)
Slimmom- I am in total agreement with the water aerobics. I was skeptical too but those instructors really make you work!!! I love it!
Tammy- I am glad you and your hubby are stuck together for a long time!! That is as it should be and I would never want these kinds of issues for anyone else. It is terrible to have a family apart. Even though I am better off without my ex and I have a new wonderful boyfriend that I will marry someday... families are supposed to be together. That is my firm belief!!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I am going to try to enjoy myself a little more!!! :hug2:
 
Mish hey gal!! WOW 3 hours at the gym I would pass out in 1 hour lol.
Don't worry about the bad day,they come and go and we bounce back stronger than the last time.You can do it girl just stick with your plan and stay PUMPED!! Have a gr8 weekend,your in my thoughts Tammy
 
Hello Beautiful Mishi; sorry for the upset this week with your dear little 5 year old. Of course you miss him when he's gone. I remember how little they are at that age. I'm so glad you are comforted to know the girlfriend is good and kind to your son. It's great for our kids to learn there are other people who can care for them. What's the saying...? It takes a village to raise a child...

I fell off the wagon 2 days in a row now. Won't even tell you what I ate. My problem is I must get to the gym, no matter what stress is occuring. It never ceases to amaze me how that stress is lessened when I go to the gym. The one thing I comfort myself with when I misbehave on food, is that tomorrow is the gift of a new day, to do things the way we want, eat right, exercise, drink lots of water. You are a fantastic teacher, a good mother, a good friend. And your boyfriend wants you all to himself because you are just so lovely.
 
mishi said:
I need to stop and readjust my thinking. Being skinny is going to suck if I am not comfortable with myself! I might as well be overweight again as I generally felt better about myself than I do now. How strange is that?? So I am working on letting things go. I dropped out of the 2 lbs/week challenge becuase it is just not going to happen. It is not my focus right now. I need to get my head right or else when I get to the weight I want it won't matter because I won't be satisfied or happy.
Click to expand...

I guess I've always dealt with not being happy but certainly always thinking about it at every weight I've ever been at. I'm surprised that you're less confident right now. It makes me very sad, but you are going to work on that and though it won't be a quick process, I think that your self-worth and happiness is much more important than weight. My cousin said something to me last night actually, she said something about 'well it's better to be fat and happy than to be skinny and sad!' in this upbeat tone, because we were talking about how I was working out and how she had gained a few pounds too. My immediate response was 'I'm only happy when I'm skinny' and then I wished I hadn't said that and realized just how stupid it was, and honestly, untrue. I've always been eager to shave off a few pounds (like most women). I hope you are able to come to peace with all of this, and revel in your success. Good for you for forgoing the June 2 lbs./week. I don't know how much good it does anymore, because I do feel pretty bad when I can't make it. Oh :hug2: Thanks for letting me vent in your diary...you'll be able to overcome the negative feelings.
 
Oops I did it again...

lol Brittany Spears cracks me up:) I actually like her music though. My dirty little secret of the day. But yes I did do it again and again... lots of calories, no will power. Just get into this no-care attitude and eat and eat. Yesterday I didn't even eat real food and I am suffering for it now:( I have been sick all weekend! I can't believe I eat these things that make me feel so bad. So today, again I recommit and am determined to throw the chips out. I ate all the ice cream so I don't need to worry about that:rolleyes: sigh. I am working on my previous issue and I am trying to focus on myself instead of the weight and all this dieting. That is partially where the no care attitude comes from but that is not a good direction because I am making myself sick. Still looking at a balance so that I can find some of my self confidence. I am assuming this will take awhile so wish me luck!!! I am going to do well today and eat more natural foods. I would like to stay away from carbs today too as that is all i have had and they are making me feel icky:(.... thoughts of pregnancy always freak me out but I just finished TOM last week and I should be fine..... most likely going to get a test just to make sure. I freak out so easily and it has never happened but it is nice to be sure:confused:
Thank you all for your wonderful comments!!
Hi Nia!! I will have to bounce by your diary! I am excited to see how your weekend went! Hope you are hanging in there!!! Yeah and a side note... 3 hours at the gym is great but make sure you are fueled for it. I brought the wrong snack bar that didn't have enough to get me through and felt weak and tired after the posting high came down!! Just need to make sure to keep my body fueled up if I do that again!!
2skinny- It does take a village! but no one seems to ever have that attitude. Everyone needs to take care of their own. I get into bitter stints that make it hard for me to even want my son to have any contact with his father. I know that is not the right course of action but I it's hard to help feeling that way sometimes! You are so wonderful! Thank you for all your sweet comments and I hope you have had some success getting to the gym. That is the one thing that has been easier for me but the summer break is half over and I will need to readjust for the school year when there will be less time to go to the gym!
Howdy James!! Hot damn look at that ticker! Good job! I am glad all your hard work is paying off! Nice to see you!
Lukewarm- vent anytime!! I used to say it's better to be fat and happy and that was when I was fat and happy and yet not happy with my wieght. I am going to work on my issues and hopefully will feel better. I am not down on myself all the time but through out the day so much thought and energy goes into what I need to do to lose weight that I am not enjoying my day as I should! I am working on refocusing and I am thinking 2skinny's planning arguement is going to backed up by the fact if I planned what I was going to eat I would already know how my day would be going and I wouldn't have that on my mind.... definatly something to think about. I am off to do piles of laundry and lots of cleaning. My apartment looks terrible and I hate clutter so I am going to clean it damn it. I am missing the gym for this and I better finish it!!! Hope you all have a wonderful Monday!!
 
Howdy Mish,
Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement you left in my diary.I wish I could stay pumped like you are even with the slip ups.You will bounce back you are doing great in my opion even with the bad days.I was wondering the same for me but tom came and went about 2 weeks ago and you would think he is still here with the way I feel and crave weird month!
Well it can only get better,have a nice day Tammy
 
I admire how honest you are Mishi. I have been making the worst choices lately. When I say "food was ok" that usually means I ate junk, but didn't eat too much. I wish I could crave only healthy food. I also love Brit. shhh Ok, so back to being serious, Here's to a healthier week for both of us! Cheers!
 
Going to fix my matoblism

Ha ha I swear I can't spell for anything! Hi y'all! I am in a good mood today. I have started to shift my thinking about food and because I don't want to restrict my calories for the rest of my life I am trying to eat more. From all the reading I have done here I have come accross the idea that restricting your calories so much will cause your matabolism to slow and you will lose a lot of lean muscle. I had my body fat percentage measured before I started to watch what I ate and it was 30%. I had it measured several weeks ago and it was still 30%. That tells me that I haven't gained any muscle. So I went to work at the gym. I am feeling the muscle come back but I am STARVING a lot of the time and so stressed about food! When I am hungry (not emotional hunger) I want to be able to eat but I have been more hungry and have had a really hard time keeping my calories at 1200. I definatly havn't been eating the best either so I won't say I am all an innocent weight gainer from working out too much:p lol However I do need to be eating more and more healthy. Steve talks about bouncing your diet up and down... which I am taking to mean going from higher calorie one day to lower calorie the next and back and forth to keep my metabolism on it's toes. I am hoping I am thinking right. I went to a website to calculate how many calories a day I need. Right now to maintain I would need 2335 calories a day. That's a huge number!!!! Recommended cut is 20% which would be about 1800 calories. Still a wonderful amount of food! So my goal is to bounce between 1300 and 1800 calories. Yesterday I had 1300 calories and the day before I had 1600 calories. I am trying to eat all healthy non processed foods.. though I don't always stick to that:rolleyes: . My weight was 158.6 today so it's going in the right direction but I am not leaning on the scale too hard. I just need to get somewhere where I won't eat myself back to where I was. I hope this is the track I should be looking at. I want to eat more in my day. I hate feeling weak from being hungry. I have gotten used to it but that's stupid. We shall see. It is time for a major overhaul in the way I am approaching eating. If I am going to do this for the rest of my life I need to get used to eating right now... and eating enough!! We shall see how it goes. I am assuming it will take a few months to start seeing a good amount of loss. My days of a pound a day lost are just gone. I'll be lucky to get a pound a week!!
Thanks MJ and Tammy for your posts!! Hope it's a good week for all of us!!!
:hug2:
 
WHen I had a personal trainer, they too had me eating more calories, not less. I also have a book called "the Metabolism Breakthrough" that talks about how bad these low calories diets are and how it slows our metabolism down, but that it can be fixed through a better diet and more calories.

I just read yesterday that unless you lift weights and put on muscle while you exercise, that you do burn muscle from just cardio. I have to step up the weight training too. You can do it!! Sounds like you are on the right track.
 
I'm happy I read in here tonight. I think that cyclical calorie approach sounds like a fantastic idea. If and when I begin to plateau I'm going to do exactly what you're doing Mishi. I also like Miss Jellybelly's comment about lifting. I think you'll be much happier allowing yourself to eat a bit more, and it works for lots of people so I'm sure you'll see good results. It's great that you have realistic and patient expectations :) After all, you're nearly there. I know that I can't wait until I'm allowed to eat at maintenance. :dreams of the day that is possible: Knock off the last pounds Mishi, you can do it girl ;)
 
Howdy Mish,
Wow way to go on 158 you totally ROCK!!
Good for you for rethinking and recalculating a plan that you can
live with,you have great knowleadg in that department.I promise ya
I will be back stronger than before...I already have agame plan,I just
know too much teptation right now that eventually I am going to have
to deal with but there is a b-day party sunday camping Mon-tues then
the grill our/fireworks weds 4th july.I will be back to visit ya more often
you keep that positive attitude up and have a gr8 HOLIDAY WEEKEND
Tammy
 
Hi Mish; i'm right there with you...re-thinking a new way of approaching healthy lifestyle. For me, it's not just calorie reduction and exercise...there's so much more involved ... including learning effective ways to deal with stress, and feeling confident, etc. I read in one of your posts about feeling more confident when you are eating whatever you want and having a larger body. I'm very much like that also. In fact, I am much more cheerful when I eat whatever I want, because fat stores estrogen and I love that hormone. I'm trying yoga now because it is supposed to balance hormones. Yay!! I'll let you know if that works for me. I wanna tell you I always, ALWAYS, appreciate your honesty in your diary. That honesty is what will carry you all the way to the success you want. I know you flirt with the notion you might return to your old eating ways...so do I from time to time...but that's just obstacles talking...you will overcome each and every one.
 
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