Miriam must do this. Seriously.

M

miriamm

New member
note: I'm trying to figure out this diary thing, so forgive me if I repeat posts. I'm trying to get all of my threads onto one diary. Here goes:

REASONS I MUST START TODAY:

- I am a pretty girl :) , even beautiful by many standards. My weight distracts from this. I am doing myself an injustice by being overweight. I truly believe that under this 'fat suit', I have a bangin' body!
- I have a style... but I don't wear it. I wear what hides my insecurities and makes me feel comfortable. This consists of many black shirts, jeans and flip flops. Shopping is not fun when you don't buy what you want, you buy what fits. I am a GIRL, so this is so shameful :(
- Every girl wants to be slightly intimidating to her friends. I know my thinner, prettier friends do not think of me as a threat. I am SO a threat.
-I have not worn a bathing suit in 7 years. Not exaggerating. People say, "Wear a bathing suit your comfortable in." Ok. If I'm not comfortable in a tight shirt and short shorts, what kind of bathing suit would I be happy in? A scuba suit? A baggy scuba suit? Also, wearing a tank top and sofies to the pool (boyfriends 'helpful' idea) just makes me stand out as the insecure oompa loompa among my beach bunny co-eds. No thanks. I'll stay home.
-There are so many things I love or would love to do but choose not to for fear of looking foolish or fat while doing it: dancing, swimming, laying out by the pool/beach, skating, riding a bike, rock-climbing, being a confident temptress in the boudoire...
- I avoid pictures at all costs.
- I avoid mirrors.
- I kind of get a bad feeling inside when I do see a mirror or picture.
-I don't do nice things for myself like getting my hair done, getting a makeover,...because none of those things seem to make a difference when your so down on your body.
- The boyfriend (David) would never say it outright, but he wants me to lose weight. My insecurities cause so many problems in our relationship.
- I want my future husband (hopefully David) to be proud of me. I don't want to be one of those wives/girlsfriends that have 'let themselves go'.
-This is really embaressing to say, but I let people walk all over me and avoid confrontation at all costs because I don't want people to retaliate with a comment about my weight. And I'm just a really nice person

More specifically:
- I have always wanted to get a breast reduction and have finally set up a consultation for one. However, they will obviously want me to lose a good amount of weight before the procedure, to figure out what size I want to go down to. Very excited and MUST lose weight.
- I am going to be in a wedding on Jan. 1, 2010. I want to look and feel beautiful. Plus, two of the bridesmaids are like, gorgeous, and I don't want to be the blah bridesmaid lol
- I am going to visit family up north in December, and want to look presentable.
- I am starting an internship with school in the fall. I will have more energy to put my all into it if I am thinner. I don't want to be one of those dowdy elementary school teachers...I want to be a 'hot for teacher' type of teacher


Everytime I have started or wanted to start a diet (every other day), I go on these types of websites and it is just so inspiring to see other people reach their goals. I want to be one of these people. Seeing other people do it make me want to have a success story. It is so much easier with other people's help and support. So please, if you have any words of advice, let me know. I'd love to hear from you and extend my friendship to you as well.
 
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First of all, I am truly touched by the responses that my first ever post got! I feel really motivated because I don't want to let myself down, of course, and I also want to make everyone here proud as well. All of the posts asked me what kind of goals I have, and offered their advice on diet, nutrition, exercise, etc... I guess when I was ranting and raving on why I MUST commit to weight loss...I forgot to even talk about the specifics. So here goes:

I weigh 225 pounds. I can't even think of the number, never mind type it for the world to see. I can't believe I let myself get to this point. Although I think that women can be beautiful in any form, I can't have that same mentality for myself. I truly admire women who are 'large and in charge' and think its awesome when women can exude sexuality and confidence despite their weight issues...However, I cannot carry this over into my own psyche... For further details with my psyche issues, please see my "MUST START TODAY" thread/diary post

Ok, so for my goals. I think I would really like to weight 150 pounds. This is what I am going to aim for. When I weighed about 160, I was very confident, but you wouldn't catch me dead in a swimsuit. I guess my goal is to finally put on a swimsuit. (see prior post). Although these numbers sound big, especially for a girl, I have weighed this much in the past and look pretty good. Very average and healthy, even if I wanted to be skinnier. It might have to do with my build... even at a the weight I am now, it is pretty spread out into good proportions. I also hold a lot of weight in my boobs, which I'm looking into getting reduced. I have a consultation for a breast reduction in about a month, and before I get the procedure done, I would like to lose at least 50 pounds. Before the consultation, I'd like to lose 20. I know, I know that sounds like a lot, but I've done it before.

So for my diet. I once had a lot of success with Atkins, but thats one of those diets you give a go once, lose weight, and then your just really sick of meat, cheese and eggs. They say your either a 'fats' person or a 'carbs' person. I am a carbs person for sure...I'd rather eat a loaf of bread than a steak. I could live on cereal. I love crunchy things. I'm not going to set myself up for failure by doing Atkins again. I realize that your carb intake should be limited in any diet, and it should be good carbs like whole wheat and such. I will keep this in mind.

And exercise. I'm not going to lie, I hate it. I would rather read a good book and watch TV. However, once I am done sweating and panting and shaking at the gym...I do feel pretty good about it when I leave. I have a membership to a gym, so I just need to do it. But I don't know how hard I need to be working, or how long, so if anyone has any expertise in the matter, I'd love to hear from you.

So I went grociery shopping so I can have loads of healthy foods to munch on, and I am vowing to cut out my restaraunt outings and 'lunch dates' with my girlfriends. Going out to eat is my kriptonite, if you will. So I really need to cut back on this. I'm sure you've heard of the Hungry Girl's recipe book 200 under 200...or something like that. Well, they always rave about these Sharataki Tofu Noodles that are like, only 20 calories a serving (!!!) So I am looking everywhere for these things and I finally find them in the last place I think to look (the tofu section haha) But...they're not normal, dry pasta that you cook...they're like, really pale white already cooked noodles floating in a bag of liquid. Yeah, not very appetizing. I had just came from the Ethnic Foods aisle where I discovered, to my horror, canned/jarred fish and other horrifying foods... so when I found these noodles, I could only think that the noodles resembled some kind of preserved fish/worm/disqusting long slimy thing. Nevertheless, 20 calories for pasta is hard to beat, so I bought it...along with Meatless Meatballs and Boca Vegan Burgers. Don't ask me why....I am nowhere near being a vegetarian. I guess I just got into the tofu spirit. So I go home and fix myself the pasta with Meat(less) balls and marinara. It tasted only slightly better than it looks. So...I guess I should just stick to eating whole wheat pasta in moderation, eh?

For breakfast, I must have cereal. Another reason low carb will not work me. So this morning, I had all-bran with skim milk (with right serving size). I am taking some fat free yogurt, grapes, and fat free tuna salad with wheat crackers to work with me. I work at Chili's, so I can't get hungry while working or I will munch on french fries. One french fry every thirty minutes really adds up. Hopefully thats all I will eat for the rest of the day. I know they say rapid weight loss is not a good idea, but it just really motivates me. If I must eat tonight, I'm going to stick to some slices of deli meat or something.

Thanks for putting up with my blabbering on (typ-ering on?) I really love to hear what you guys have to say. Like I said, if you have any words of advice, I'd love to hear from you, and my friendship is here for you as well.
 
I'm sitting in class right now (four hour science methods class...no fun) and feeling very hungry...yes, i packed a lunch to bring but forgot it. The snack machine is now calling to me...especially since I will be in the library for hours after class ends without a healthy snack in sight.

I need to come up with a fool-proof system of absolutely not letting myself get hungry. When the stomach starts to growl, all hope is lost! I guess I could just get some peanut from the machine or something.

Anyways, what I really need to start doing is exercising. Any tips?
 
My advice is to start small. If you fling yourself into some massive workout routine with heavy weights and intervals/circuits, there is a good chance you will burn out quickly. YMMV, however, depending on your motivation/strength of will/physical ability.

Still, something as simple as going for a daily walk can get you started. You say you don't like exercise - are there any physical activities that you do like, sports or whatever? If it is something that you like, you are more likely to keep doing it.
The more physical stuff you do, the more you wil be able to do and the more likely you are to want to do it. It is a self-fulfilling kind of thing.

Try stuff out and see if you like it. Walk, ride, swim, climb stairs, lift full-grown oxen, whatever. Whatever gets you moving.
Incorporate greater movementin to your daily life. Get off the bus a stop early and walk the rest of the way. park the car at the far end of the lot from where you are going. Take stairs instead of elevator. That kind of thing.

Once you get used ot moving around, and your body is feeling a bit better and looser or whatever, then maybe you can step up into something more intensive.

Resistance training is important, however, if you want to maintain your muscle mass while losing weight. Unless you do strength training, you will lsoe muscle along with the fat, and that's no good. But, you can work your way into that. Rome wasn't built in a day.


All that being said, however, diet is the key to weight loss. Get your diet in order and the weight will come off. Exercise is a bonus, and important for fitness, but diet is what will take the pounds off.

As for the snack cravings during class - drink water. Enough water can curb the appetite, just by filling you up. Ideally bring healthy snacks, but if you forget it, drink water.

Keep in mind that all of this is only my ideas and opinions.
 
I think I did really well today. I am trying to accomplish dramatic weight loss in a short amount of time because I have an appointment for a consultation with a plastic surgeon (breast reduction) in one month and would like to be as close to my goal weight as possible. I am aiming for losing about 20 pounds by that time. I know it sounds like a lot but I've done it before...of course, that was with the aide of a weight loss clinic and lots of unsafe drugs...but nevertheless, I'm going to do my best to do it on my own.

So I've stocked up on foods that I hope will keep me full for long periods of time...lean meats, whole wheat breads, and foods with lots of fiber and protein. I'm aiming to have only three small meals/snacks a day. This morning I had two pieces of whole wheat bread with deli meat and mustard (about 250 calories). Then I had some fat free tuna salad on whole wheat crackers (150 calories) and and then some grapes and carrots.

I'm trying to stay under 1000 calories. I went walking with my mom this evening after work, for about a mile. Because I am SO out of shape, I am sure my heart rate was up the entire time. Although, and maybe you guys can help me out with this one....I am not sure how much I should be straining and suffering while I work out? Should I be sweating profusely, unable to speak, or what?

On a happy note, I was leaving my house to go to class and the UPS guy was walking towards me with a long box. I signed for it and went back inside, opened it, and it was two dozen beautiful longs stem roses from the boyfriend. He is out of the country right now. It just made me think that I owe it to both of us to go back to being the confident, secure and outgoing girl that I once was. About 5 years ago. I'm too young to feel the way I do.

I feel so empowered when I'm on a diet. So in control. All of your support truly truly helps. I love hearing from you guys.
 
miriamm said:
I think I did really well today. I am trying to accomplish dramatic weight loss in a short amount of time because I have an appointment for a consultation with a plastic surgeon (breast reduction) in one month and would like to be as close to my goal weight as possible. I am aiming for losing about 20 pounds by that time. I know it sounds like a lot but I've done it before...of course, that was with the aide of a weight loss clinic and lots of unsafe drugs...but nevertheless, I'm going to do my best to do it on my own.

So I've stocked up on foods that I hope will keep me full for long periods of time...lean meats, whole wheat breads, and foods with lots of fiber and protein. I'm aiming to have only three small meals/snacks a day. This morning I had two pieces of whole wheat bread with deli meat and mustard (about 250 calories). Then I had some fat free tuna salad on whole wheat crackers (150 calories) and and then some grapes and carrots.

I'm trying to stay under 1000 calories. I went walking with my mom this evening after work, for about a mile. Because I am SO out of shape, I am sure my heart rate was up the entire time. Although, and maybe you guys can help me out with this one....I am not sure how much I should be straining and suffering while I work out? Should I be sweating profusely, unable to speak, or what?

On a happy note, I was leaving my house to go to class and the UPS guy was walking towards me with a long box. I signed for it and went back inside, opened it, and it was two dozen beautiful longs stem roses from the boyfriend. He is out of the country right now. It just made me think that I owe it to both of us to go back to being the confident, secure and outgoing girl that I once was. About 5 years ago. I'm too young to feel the way I do.

I feel so empowered when I'm on a diet. So in control. All of your support truly truly helps. I love hearing from you guys.
Click to expand...

Hey, looks like you are on the road my friend!

I can definately sympathize with you in the breast area, although, my view was reversed. I have had small boobs my whole life and I always wanted them bigger... so I got a boob job and have loved it since. I think it's important to feel good in your own skin and if you want them to be smaller for you to have confidence, I say more power to you.... plus, you never know how small they will get once you finally lose the weight....

Also, I do think staying under 1,000 cals is too low for women in general, so make sure you take it easy on your body. You don't want to mess up your metabolism or lose muscle. That will be one of the first places your body will go to for help after your food has been taken for calories.

You should definately be sweating while you are working but not to the point of where you can't even get a word in. You should also be drinking a ton of water to replace what you have sweated out to prevent dehydration, which will ultimately cause water retention.

I'm so happy you feel in control and that is the key.. Stay positive and your boyfriend sounds like a sweetheart! You are definately right, he deserves to have a confient sexy girlfriend, but more importantly, YOU deserve to feel sexy and confident above all else!

Hope this helps and I'll be checking in on you!

P.S. Hopefully, you are taking your measurements, as this is a perfect way to track your progress!!
 
hello miriam!!
good to see u on here, and i'm sure you'll achieve all your goals in no time. just keep going strong, and remember that you'll get all the support you want and more from all of us.
i'll keep a watch on your journal :) so make sure i have something good to see everytime i drop by!! :)
 
Hi Miriam!
I think your goals are great, and I think you are doing yourself a great service by being totally honest on here. This forum is fabulous because you will always get lots of positive feedback from the members on here.
There was one thing that concerned me as I read your diary. You said you are trying to keep your calories under 1000 every day? I know some other people have commented on this, but I'm going to say something anyways.
From a personal perspective, I know that if I restrict my calories to less than 1200 I am good for awhile and then I have a freak out and binge on stuff I wouldn't if I were consistently eating more on a daily basis. Plus, I am grumpier and get headaches that I normally don't get if I eat more. That is just my experience. I hope it helps.
From a more structured perspective, you might want to try and calculate a number for your calorie requirements from a site online that guides you through it.


I don't necessarily endorse this site for everyone and I have no idea of the scientific validity of all this. I just have used it and found it helpful for me.

Good luck on everything! I will be interested to see how things go with you.
Rachel
 
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Don't even want to talk about it.

I really don't even want to talk about how I did today...I mean, I probably stayed within a healthy amount of calories, but I stuffed it all into one fattening meal. I went out to dinner with a friend of mine and had all intentions of ordering off the Guiltless menu...but did a U-eey and ordered fajitas. no sour cream or cheese, but I work at Chilli's, so I know whats in that stuff. 'grilled' does not mean anything (fyi)...you have to specify if you don't want butter or grease used in the making of your food, unless it's already a guiltless meal. (I'm not endorsing Chili's, just letting you know)But that's all I've eaten today, besides some yogurt for breakfast. But I know I would being doing myself a favor if I just ate smaller, more frequent meals.

I came home and saw that my Mom was drinking a huge milkshake. It made me think of two things...one, I would really like a milkshake. And then I thought about how I wish she would stick to a diet as well. She used to be very very over weight (over 300 lbs) and had the Lapband surgery, which was very successful. She is still overweight, but she it is all very well-distributed and looks pretty damn good (She's available guys!!!). She's aged very well and I just think she would feel so much better about herself if she knocked off the last couple pounds. I saw what being so overweight did to her...she wasn't energetic to be the type of mom I know she wishes she was, she never went out, she just gave up on life for a while...now she's a new lady. I don't want her to reverse it.

Another thing I thought would be an interesting topic for discussion (guys, I'd really love your opinion)...Let me preface this by saying that I think women can be beautiful at nearly any size. I do not feel this way about myself, however. On that note...I think the experience of an overweight male is quite different than the experience of an overweight female. Don't get me wrong...overweight guys suffer from low self-esteem and what not, but I think it really is more dramatic for girls. Guys can be the 'funny fat guy' and still be thought adorable by girls. If a HUGE guys is confident and funny, he can have any girl he likes. Personally, I love bigger, burly guys. Don't get me wrong...if he is too overweight and does not have any energy to keep up with me, it would be a problem. But theres something so charming about a guy who is kind of soft around the edges, with nice broad shoulders and a tummy. I don't think many guys would have those same feelings for girls. Riddle me this...most guys try to say..."I don't like skinny girls, I like curvy girls"...Judging from the media and guys I know...they want a girl who is both curvy and petite. In other words, impossible or 2% of female population. Girls like Kim Kardashian and Jessica Alba have been blessed with this body type.

Ok, enough of my ranting. I'm on a diet for a reason. I have a nice shape, which would really be enhanced by shedding a good 40 pounds. Ultimately, 75 pounds off would be tremendous. I'll update you tomorrow.
 
Ok....great idea! i came across these on the internet...Every day I'm going to post a funny quote about dieting and weight loss...i think they're so funny. But today I'm going to entertain you with a couple, just to get the party started!!!

"I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge."
~Paula Poundstone (ha i think thats hysterical)

"Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake."
~Author Unknown (or carbs of any kind)

"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think."
 
Diet is going great today. I got a cruel but effective motivation this weekend while celebrating by best friend's birthday...her alcoholic aunt drunkenly told me how 'beautiful' i was, but i would be 'dead-drop gorgeous' if i were 'thin'. Mortified much? I was so horrified I couldn't even finish my 5-liqueur rum runner :( I proceeded to drink to much excess and pigging out on a late night burrito and doritos (fanastic duo by the way) Hated myself in morning but have been doing REALLY well since.

Before my boyfriend left the country he gave me a kind of motivation speech that really got to me. He's like...you know i think your beautiful and I think you look good at any size, but when you feel bad about yourself you stop trying, it's like you give up, i love when you are confident and put effort into yourself, but at your weight, you just don't try or want to go out or do anything. I don't like you like that...i know the only way you'll change is if you lose weight. blah blah and tears on my part. He's really tried to be subtle and sweet...he even went on a diet with me at one point. Some people think that the guy's a jerk for saying something, but I think men reserve the right to sensitively bring up the topic. It's not fair for women to take advantage of their sweet, dedicated boyfriends/husbands and gain an inexcusable amount of weight. I don't want to give relationships a bad name.

So the school I go to (Univ. of South Flor.) has a huge, beautiful free gym with like 5 fitness classes a day and I have no excuse not to go. So along with my diet (which is going pretty well) my classmates and I are going to take some zumba classes. If you really hate the gym or have a hard time getting into it, I highly recommend these types of classes. They are a total blast, and you are forced to actually work out...your heart rate stays up for the full class. So anyways, starting that on Thursday, so wish me luck!

So far today I've eaten:

a bowl of all bran cereal (100 cals)
fat-free coconut creme yogurt (75 cals)
wheat germ (50 cals)

handful of strawberries/blueberries/rasberries (75 cals)

For dinner I am making David and I:
grilled chicken breasts (110 cals)
corn on the cob (90 cals)
maybe half a potato

A great rule I heard for dieting is NO WHITE AT NIGHT. So, no bread, pasta, potatoes, etc... in the evening. So maybe no potato for me ;)
 
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I know that many of you will disagree with me on this, but I've already made an appointment so....

I'm going to a weight loss clinic. I've had many friends who have succeeded doing it this way. I know I could do it on my own, and I have lost about 10 pounds since starting my weight loss diary. But it's highly motivating to see the pounds go quickly. If I can start seeing results sooner, I will feel more motivated to stick with the diet.

So, if I do this, will I still be welcome to post my results here? Or well I be excommunicated because I am 'cheating'? I hope not :) I have a lot of weight to lose (about 70 pounds). It would be nice to make a dent in that.
 
Why is it cheating to get some help with your weight loss? What kind of diet do they offer at this clinic? Of course we want to hear the results!
 
hi miriamm!

what kind of weight loss clinic? i know some that offer an appetite suppressent pill, but even so, the whole idea of the clinic is to eat yourself some healthy foods which will eventually lead to a healthy lifestyle, not just diet anymore. people i know that have been there said the appetite pill works but when you stop taking it you regain your regular appetite but have formed the healthy lifestyle habits, so you should be able to maintain your weight. i haven't tried it, but it probably does jumpstart your weight. i guess they provide some sort of meal plans and do like a biggest loser contest in the sense of who can lose more weight in a month. at least it's something to work towards.

good luck on your weight loss journey! and heck, if you lose all this weight, maybe you won't even need a breast reduction. :)
 
I have an appointment on thursday with the weight loss clinic!!!

Does anyone have any suggestions for low-cal alcohol drinks? I am a college junior who just turned 21. Kinda hard to stay away from liquor. I'm not a lush, I just want to have something to sip on while I'm out. besides water and diet soda
 
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