MGB's Diary: "Clean Your Plate," they said.

[MsGhettoBooty]

My Crappy Morning

Being as the meteorologist was full of shit last night with her forecast, I was able to drive myself to the gym this morning on a nice, clean road. Fuck you, Ms I Used to Work The Front Desk But Got Hired as a Weather Girl Because My Daddy's Part Owner. BAH!

Alright, so I had two shitty incidents this morning that really made my stomach turn badly. I get to the gym at 6am and there are maybe 10 people. I do the usual walk into the locker room to dress down, put my hair up, yaddah fackin yaddah. It's pee pee time, so I head to the restroom and all 4 stalls are being used. Suddenly a door opens and a lady's about to walk out, sees me, then gets a really surprised look on her face. I just stand there and smile. She takes a few steps back into the stall as if she's hesistant to let me in there. I'm thinking to myself, "Ummm wtf.. get out. I need to piss." She then says, "Oh.. I'm taking Alli." "Ummm alright. Nice to meet you. She suddenly power walks it out of the bathroom. I turn the corner and holy crap! No shit, there was this huge salmon colored oil ring where the water meets the bowl. I damn nearly puked on myself. (Note to anyone even THINKING about taking Alli: Don't do it.) Her name from now on will be Ms. Exxon Valdez.

After a hard workout on the arctrainer, never miss, I always take a wicked pee. (I down 2c during my workout, so it needs to go.) I head back into the bathroom and this time there are 3 empty stalls and 1 taken. I walk pass the mirror, then realize I need to fix my hair before taking a pee. I'm standing there and I'm hearing a buzzing noise and someone "dropping bombs," KWIM? Hey.. if you need to take a crap, then go on right ahead. I understand. However, what I saw made me puke. The bathroom's stinking up and I'm still hearing a buzzing noise. 'Lo and Behold, some broad comes walking out of the stall while brushing her teeth with an electric toothbrush. Ok... who the hell can take a shit and brush their teeth at the same damn time??? OMFG!!! And I thought I was kinky. ICK! Anyways, on to today's accomplishments.

Workout:

-Dancing around my house to Mary J Blige (20 mins)
-Cardio Party #3 Turbo Jam (50 mins)
-Arc trainer- Hill Interval, Level=9) (20mins, 5 mins warmup/cooldown)
-weight training: Triceps, Chest... Abs (50 min)

Meals:
Breakfast:
- whole wheat bagel with 1tb peanut butter with sliced medium banana
-1c 1% milk (575 cal)

Postworkout Snack:
- 1 egg omelette (1c spinach, 1c mushroom) w/ 2tb salsa
- 4 sliced Extra Lean Turkey Bacon (Jennie-O)
- slice whole wheat toast with 1/2 tb light butter and 1tb sugar free jam
(295 cal)

Lunch:
- 2 Sundried Flatout Wraps with turkey (lettuce, onions, 1/2 c goya black beans (rinsed), salsa) (435 cal)

Postworkout Snack:
- 2/3c Kashi Go Lean cereal in weight watchers yogurt with sliced medium pear (290 cal)

Dinner:
- Homemade Portuguese Bean soup (beans, beef, sausage, tomato sauce, cabbage, whole wheat macaroni) (470 cal)

Snack:
-chocolate chip macadamia nut cookie (90 cal)

Total Calories: 2,100 cal (1930-2280)
Water: 12 cups
Notes: Only 8 more days until my ass is on the plane. Damn time is just going by way too fast.

-Sheryl

 

[daiseeangel]

Oh my! You go to a freaky gym!!! What nasty people!

I don't understand how you can brush your teeth while taking a shit.

* Makes mental note: DO NOT take Alli! *

 

[Blancita]

Ewwwwwwwwww. I hope she's not reading these pages . Whatever Alli is, obviously it does NOT sound worth it if you're stuck using the -- eh hem -- facilities in public. Grotesque. LOL.

 

[Trevor M.]

Haha - thats some funny and quite disgusting stuff.

* Makes mental note: DO NOT take Alli! *

There is a youtube video people keep telling me about where a woman who is bowling in a league game completely "lets loose" while on her approach to throw the ball.

She is supposed to be wearing real short shorts and i hear its completely and totally sickening...
Some people I know just can't understand why I don't care to watch it after hearing the description lol...Unlike those people I don't enjoy those types images embedded in my brain lol.

Ohh, there are so many reasons not to take that "crapping" pill...

 

[daiseeangel]

I didn't even know that's what Alli did! I wasn't ever considering taking it, but WOW! Gross!

 

[Trevor M.]

I didn't even know that's what Alli did! I wasn't ever considering taking it, but WOW! Gross!

It generally will only happen if one has a "fatty" meal after taking the pill. By blocking the absorption of some of the fat from the meal it has to literally pass "straight through".
Of course, thats a very over simplification of the process. But, you get the point.

From anecdotal reports it doesn't take much to trigger the affect, though.

 

[daiseeangel]

It generally will only happen if one has a "fatty" meal after taking the pill. By blocking the absorption of some of the fat from the meal it has to literally pass "straight through".
Of course, thats a very over simplification of the process. But, you get the point.

From anecdotal reports it doesn't take much to trigger the affect, though.

Wow! Thanks for the info!

I don't mess around with any of that. I take a multivitamin and natural green tea pills... that's it! And I let my crap come naturally!

 

[Trevor M.]

I don't mess around with any of that. I take a multivitamin and natural green tea pills... that's it! And I let my crap come naturally!

Haha - You're wellcome.

Leigh wrote up a nice article on it somewhere around here a while back. Search for it and I'm sure you can find it. It has a bunch of solid information on Alli.

 

[ummhusayn]

ok so what kind of ghetto gym do you go to???lol jk.... but seriously I cant believe she stopped to tell you she was taking Alli...... that is too funny!!!! And when you talked about the buzzing....my mind went to the gutter.....lol i thouhg tyou were gonna say something else....lolol

Rena

PS damn girl you exercise like a demon!!lol

 

[bikinibound]

ok so what kind of ghetto gym do you go to???lol jk.... but seriously I cant believe she stopped to tell you she was taking Alli...... that is too funny!!!! And when you talked about the buzzing....my mind went to the gutter.....lol i thouhg tyou were gonna say something else....lolol

Rena

OMFG!! I have tears streaming down my face and cannot stop laughing!!

Rena, great minds (or at least perverted ones) must think alike b/c I thought the exact same thing re the buzzing noise!!

Man, you have some sick women at your gym, girl!! Nothing like Ms. Exxon Valdez (LMAO!) ever happens at mine. I guess it's boring.

 

[Blancita]

There is a youtube video people keep telling me about where a woman who is bowling in a league game completely "lets loose" while on her approach to throw the ball.

She is supposed to be wearing real short shorts and i hear its completely and totally sickening....

Ohh, there are so many reasons not to take that "crapping" pill...

That is absolutely revolting .

Do you really believe that video exists? I couldn't watch it either .

 

[James2]

Girls are fackin gross

 

[Steve]

Being as the meteorologist was full of shit last night with her forecast, I was able to drive myself to the gym this morning on a nice, clean road. Fuck you, Ms I Used to Work The Front Desk But Got Hired as a Weather Girl Because My Daddy's Part Owner. BAH!

You know where I stand with meteorologists.

[/I]" She then says, "Oh.. I'm taking Alli." "Ummm alright. Nice to meet you.

Hahahahaha, this had me pissing myself.

And that's freaking gross. I was just talking to a woman who's taking alli trying to get it through her thick skull that's it's a flawed way to go about things.

Her insisted that, "I just want to jumpstart my weigthloss."

That's translation in my world for....

"Dur, I'm a freaking lazy moron."

walking out of the stall while brushing her teeth with an electric toothbrush. Ok... who the hell can take a shit and brush their teeth at the same damn time??? OMFG!!! And I thought I was kinky. ICK! Anyways, on to today's accomplishments.

That's as bad as eating while shitting.... sick as hell!

 

[MidGaGuy]

I had to read that Alli part twice, I thought to myself "who the hell is Alli and where is she taking her ?" *LOL*

Alli= oily grease shit pill ... Doh!


As for the buzzing sound, yeah I admit I thought vibe too. I think her using a vibe would have been better than the toothbrush!

 

[Miss Ladybug]

I guess my cold has me thinking in a totally different frame of mind, because the buzzing noise I was thinking florescent lighting getting ready to blow, see I'm losing it!!

That's TOTALLY nasty about people taking a healthy dump at your gym. I can understand if all of a sudden it comes on and well your having some bad stomach pain, but other than that, ummmmmm let's take our HEALTHY at home shall we?? That's just nasty, and luckily I have yet to see that at my gym, THANK GOSH!

Girl, your a working out machine these days, no wonder your whittling away to nothing. YOU GO GIRL!! I'm super proud of you, no doubt your family is going to be amazed at your appearance and shiat, they probably won't even notice it's you when you step off the plane, seriously, YOU HOT MOMMA YOU!

Work it, Own it, wear that bad girl tshirt!! LUBS YA
Sugar Butt

 

[niapage]

That is what kept me from trying out the NEW ALII ewwwww
oily shit from the ass and all day leakage ummmmmNOT for me!
I would be so embarssed if I was that chick and never come back to the gym lol and for you I could never look at her the smae as thoughts of the OIL RING went through my head lol that is just ewwwwwwwwwwwww lmao!
I hope despite all that nastyness you enjoyed your workout.You seem to really stepped it up and have 1 of a kick ass workout routine going on!ALSO CONGRATS ON THE WEIGHT you have lost since the new challange!Tammy

 

[MsGhettoBooty]

Well damn.... you people are a bunch of sick bastards who obviously love to "shit talk." HA! I'm telling you, I sooooo need to purchase myself a camcorder so I can walk around and just tape shit. Hmm... I may have to pull a Steve and throw down 500 on something out of the blue. HA!! Impulse shopping metrosexual he is.

Tyly- As Trevor pointed out, it's a pill that pretty much makes you have oily shits/ farts. So.... if you're not a big fan of looking like you just sat on mashed carrot babyfood, then pass it along.

Trevor- Look at you, Mr Professional Shitologist over here. HA!!! Oh and I saw that youtube flick and it cracked me the hell up.

Blancita- I highly doubt those 2 broads are on this forum. Reason being, they'd probably be on a botched plastic surgery forum first off. When you're boobs look like someone took 2 tennis balls and placed one near your shoulder and the other near your belly button it's time to beat someone's ass, KWIM? The other girl had a Michael Jackson nose. Obviously redone. Hmmm... maybe that's why she was crapping and brushing her teeth. Her nose is so damn small, she probably loss the sense of smell. Yikes. That's still sick though. Hahahaaa

Rena aka Muslim Mami with the Mega Mammaries- Girl, please. My gym's located in the "snooty rich bitch" side of town. It's either rich bitches or University of Binghamton kids aka Kids with Rich Bitch parents. hahaa! Oh.. and then you have me. HA!

Kimberly- Psssh... you and Rena... you perverts. A vibrator? Bah... it was too quiet to be a vibrator. Duh! HAHAHAAA!!!

James- A vast majority of them are. Especially the ones that rock moustaches over here. Egads!

Steve- Tell that lady who's taking Alli that if she wants to suffer from "Ring Around The Toilet," then by all means go ahead. It's not as fun as "Ring Around The Moobs" that's for sure. Didn't we have that conversation about crapping at eating at the same time? Damn... sick shit.

MidGAGuy aka Paul Dizzle- A vibrator's better than a toothbrush? Ummm errr... did we forget the part where she was taking a dump at the same time? Eeeww, you kinky bastard!! That's some "2girls1cup" kind of shit right there, man. HAHAHAAAAA!! (I know you watched it on youtube, so don't play stupid either. HAHAAA!!!)

MsLadyBug- Flourescent lighting? HAHAHAAAAA! Awww, lovely... you must be really sick if that's the case. And hey... sometimes you just need to crap and I can understand that. However, you just don't go making yourself a target, ya know? Also... thank you so much for the kind words, girl. That was so sweet of you. Jeez 7 more days and I'll be surprising the folks.

-Sheryl

 

[hickgurltx]

Hey Ms. Beautiful.

Have A Super Great Tuesday!

****

Here is the infomercial I wrote/was talkin' about.. Enjoy!

******

On pg. 10 of Cita's diary there was of course some beaver talk going on..

I then I had this idea..

*TeeHee*

*****

I can see the infomercial now...

Hey everyone..Stacy is here to talk about the Eager Beaver- 5,000

Welcome Stacy..

Hello, and thanks for havin' me.

The Eager Beaver 5,000 is just a fabulous product.
Well made - Holds up well through thousands of uses - we have made it to help make the batteries last longer - and it really burns the cals right off ya!

Another important note. It's best to use it as long as possible and as creative as possible to really get that metab running fast.
Get your husband or SO to take part and help as well.
They will really love it and enjoy it as much as you do.

Just listen to these testimonials:

Kimberly:

"I'm just hooked!! The Eager Beaver 5,000 has brought such joy to my weight-loss journey.
I often use mine while also riding my exercise bike."

Sheryl:

"This thing is a facking miracle!
I was pretty skeptical, but gave it a try.
I burned 1,000 Cals an hour w/this baby!"

"Back that ass up!"

Those are just wonderful testimonials.

Get your Eager Beaver 5,000 Today!

Just $19.99

Call:

1.800.Smack That Beaver

 

[bikinibound]

Well damn.... you people are a bunch of sick bastards who obviously love to "shit talk." HA!

Please! Like you didn't already know that--and takes one to know one, Miss I'mAlwaysTellingPeopleToTakeADump.

Trevor- Look at you, Mr Professional Shitologist over here. HA!!! Oh and I saw that youtube flick and it cracked me the hell up.

I've heard that you also have this degree. Please post a link to that video.

James- A vast majority of them are. Especially the ones that rock moustaches over here. Egads!

Speaking of women rocking staches, I was in Subway today getting my lunch, and the lady waiting on me had one any man would be proud of... Talk about ruining my appetite!

MidGAGuy aka Paul Dizzle- A vibrator's better than a toothbrush? Ummm errr... did we forget the part where she was taking a dump at the same time? Eeeww, you kinky bastard!! That's some "2girls1cup" kind of shit right there, man. HAHAHAAAAA!! (I know you watched it on youtube, so don't play stupid either. HAHAAA!!!)

LMAO@Paul Dizzle!! What is this 2 girls 1 cup thing on youtube? I think this link needs to be posted as well.

So I'm sitting here at work reading this post of Sheryl's, and I'm cracking up laughing as usual when the phone rings. It was all I could do to answer it without laughing!

 

[MsGhettoBooty]

Here is the infomercial I wrote/was talkin' about.. Enjoy!


Get your Eager Beaver 5,000 Today!

Just $19.99

Call:

1.800.Smack That Beaver[/I]

Hmmm.. Eager Beaver 5000, eh? My question to you is... does it have a calorie burning monitor on it? I hope that badboy's waterproof. haha!

Kimberly- Aww yes, I'm proud to say that I tell everyone to take a wicked dump. No one wants to be "full of shit," right? Take that whatever way you want. haha!

As for the Subway Stache.. OMG... I hope you didn't find some of that in your sandwich. ICK! God.. remember back when when Jenna and I were trying to get you not to eat the "crab laced doughnuts?" HAHAHA!! Good times!

Ummm as for the 2girls thing... ummm I can't post that, because I'll get kicked off. LMAO!! Besides, you'd probably chuck. HA! Speaking of 2girls... I wonder where Randy aka T2Trucker is. Hmmm... time to drop him a line.

-Sheryl