Mental weightloss problems?

Twentyfourth

Twentyfourth

New member
Sorry if this seems written shortly, I just hit my back button on my new keyboard and have to type it all again hahah

So I started out weighing 240, very fat I couldnt jog half a mile at first, a few years of cardio and then I started lifting weights as well trying to bulk up but still lose weight, now I run 2-5 miles daily depending on if I'm doing weights also or not.

Problem is, I still feel over weight, I know I'm fat, I'm not happy with how I look, and it makes me self conscious.

Thing is the other day I took pictures, which I've never done before... and they looked nothing like what I see in the mirror, I still feel horribly out of shape.. but the pictures didnt look half bad. Anyone going through anything like this?
 
Im the same. Everyone tells me I'm slim and the scale says so too but sometimes I focus on my imperfections.
You look great and definitely don't need to loose anymore! I wouldn't just say it to make you feel better. If your not happy with your body carry on with or increase your strength training. Thats what I'm doing and my body shape is slowly changing to what I want without having to drop any more weight.
 
It sounds silly and may not help, but it helped a friend of mine realize he had body morphic issues... Kind of the same basic deal as you. Athletic, fit, former fatty. What made him realize it? He for a tailored suit that fit his body style and realized he looked damn good, and everyone agreed. Eventually ended up seeing a shrink for a while, that worked out a lot better for him.
 
Hmm trying to rehost the second image




And thank you both of you, idk if I could ever see a shrink haha, but idk... it can't be that bad because I'm atleast aware of it. It's just really hard most of the time to even concider I might be in shape or attractive.
 
Twentyfourth said:
Sorry if this seems written shortly, I just hit my back button on my new keyboard and have to type it all again hahah

So I started out weighing 240, very fat I couldnt jog half a mile at first, a few years of cardio and then I started lifting weights as well trying to bulk up but still lose weight, now I run 2-5 miles daily depending on if I'm doing weights also or not.

Problem is, I still feel over weight, I know I'm fat, I'm not happy with how I look, and it makes me self conscious.

Thing is the other day I took pictures, which I've never done before... and they looked nothing like what I see in the mirror, I still feel horribly out of shape.. but the pictures didnt look half bad. Anyone going through anything like this?
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Umm, you're really skinny. I don't know how you can think you're even close to being fat, because you're pretty thin. But, maybe you feel like you're fat because you're just so used to thinking that way. Your mentality doesn't change overnight, you know? If you spent most of your life being overweight and then you lose a bunch of weight, it's still going to take some time for your mind to adjust and realize that you are no longer heavy. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I go through the same thing.
 
ChefChiTown said:
Umm, you're really skinny. I don't know how you can think you're even close to being fat, because you're pretty thin. But, maybe you feel like you're fat because you're just so used to thinking that way. Your mentality doesn't change overnight, you know? If you spent most of your life being overweight and then you lose a bunch of weight, it's still going to take some time for your mind to adjust and realize that you are no longer heavy. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I go through the same thing.
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Thank you, I'm thinking that has got to be it, because I don't actually know what its like to be skinny. I was fat early in grade school, over weight in middle school and obese through most of highschool, it was never getting back down to a size for me, this was all new. I started losing the weight around 16-17, and now at almost 20 this is still the best shape I've ever been in, I'm not used to it..
 
Twentyfourth said:
Thank you, I'm thinking that has got to be it, because I don't actually know what its like to be skinny. I was fat early in grade school, over weight in middle school and obese through most of highschool, it was never getting back down to a size for me, this was all new. I started losing the weight around 16-17, and now at almost 20 this is still the best shape I've ever been in, I'm not used to it..
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Back at the beginning of 2009, I weighed close to 280 lbs. Within a few months after that, I lost nearly 60 lbs and dropped down to 221 lbs. Well, I've gained some of that weight back, so I'm heavier again now, but when I was down near 220 lbs, I felt...different. I wasn't used to anything that came along with weighing 220 lbs. I was used to my clothes barely fitting my fat body, not having a ton of extra room to swim around in. I was used to not being able to fit through tight areas, not being able to squeeze into small spaces. I was used to people looking at me as if I was a fat loser, not like they were proud of how much weight I had lost.

Everything was different. The way I felt, the way I looked and definitely the way I thought. I've never, ever, ever been skinny, so I've always been used to being the fat guy in the room. When I lost all of that weight, even though I was still a fat tub of crap, I was no longer the fattest tub of crap. And, I wasn't used to that. It was almost like starting all over again with everything. I'm fairly certain you're going through the same thing.
 
ChefChiTown said:
maybe you feel like you're fat because you're just so used to thinking that way. Your mentality doesn't change overnight, you know? If you spent most of your life being overweight and then you lose a bunch of weight, it's still going to take some time for your mind to adjust and realize that you are no longer heavy.
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I agree with this completely. It is not a change that happens overnight. I have lost a lot of weight, and while I still have a little to go, it is minimal compared to what i have already done. For months, I would look in the mirror and see the same old me. The numbers on the scale go down, the clothing sizes go down, I have energy and can do much more physically as I have lost, but I didn't feel that I looked different. It did scare me a bit, but I have to say that I think things are switching for me these past couple of months. It is a process. And also being overweight since childhood, I tried to tell myself that the mind might need a bit more time to catch up to the body. I think being aware of how you feel is good. Try to keep things in perspective. I still don't always see myself differently in the mirror (although lately, I sometimes walk by a mirror and then walk back to it, thinking, 'whoa, is that me?!'), and didn't at all for awhile, but I have to say for me that looking at pictures has helped me to see myself differently. Look at pics of you before. Look at your pics now. No similarities. You must feel much better physically, and look at all you can do now (i.e. running 5 miles). Give yourself credit.
 
I definitely understand how you are feeling and I go through the same thing myself. I have struggled with eating disorders a lot so I know that I don't always perceive myself correctly. I know that I am not in any way considered obese at 5'4" and 129 lbs, but I think like an obese person. I will be ashamed to go out in public, be shy to eat in front of people, and generally have a distorted image of my body. Last year at this time I weighed 145 lbs, and now I am 16 lbs lighter but I don't think I look any different. Its a shame because I would really like to feel better about my body.

You look really good and you are in no way shape or form obese. You are really skinny and its a shame you don't see yourself that way. I agree that you may just need time to adjust your mindset to your new body. Gaining some muscle might also help you feel more confident with your physique. I know that's my next step when I get down to my goal weight.

Anyways, sorry to ramble. Good luck with everything, and I hope you can start to see yourself differently and be more confident.
 
Thank you, It's weird I'm comfortable now, just like going out to the mall and stuff. But friday night a girl at the bar gave me her number, I didnt even ask hahah and I've see her a few times now, but it still confuses the hell out of me that she might think I'm attractive... that's probably the hardest part of it for me.
 
Twentyfourth said:
Thank you, It's weird I'm comfortable now, just like going out to the mall and stuff. But friday night a girl at the bar gave me her number, I didnt even ask hahah and I've see her a few times now, but it still confuses the hell out of me that she might think I'm attractive... that's probably the hardest part of it for me.
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I know exactly how you feel..A few years back it would be something you always wish would happen, but now when it does you try to think of reasons why it's a fluke. It just shows that when you're overweight for so long you not only need to lose the weight you also need to lose the accompanying attitude too, like ChefChiTown pointed out..For me I couldn't even post pics of myself like you just did..I am still 200+lbs on the inside:sifone:
 
Tamago said:
I know exactly how you feel..A few years back it would be something you always wish would happen, but now when it does you try to think of reasons why it's a fluke. It just shows that when you're overweight for so long you not only need to lose the weight you also need to lose the accompanying attitude too, like ChefChiTown pointed out..For me I couldn't even post pics of myself like you just did..I am still 200+lbs on the inside:sifone:
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Yeah exactly! Yeah that's really it, I have to kill the attitude... And lol well the pictures were taken about 5 days before I posted the thread hahaha I was deciding wether or not I would upload them
 
Tamago said:
I know exactly how you feel..A few years back it would be something you always wish would happen, but now when it does you try to think of reasons why it's a fluke. It just shows that when you're overweight for so long you not only need to lose the weight you also need to lose the accompanying attitude too, like ChefChiTown pointed out..For me I couldn't even post pics of myself like you just did..I am still 200+lbs on the inside:sifone:
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Hi everyone, I totally agree with Tamago: "not only need to lose the weight you also need to lose the accompanying attitude too". I know how it does feel; I've been in the same boat. What I did is begin to love myself the same as my body and accepted myself with love. Every time I would looked at mirror I used to say to myself: "I am changing, I love my changes and my body" Theoretically you can change your mind perception over the night but old fashion way is to do this daily for some period of time. I guess until you accept yourself.
 
We are dealing with internet diagnostics here so... please take my words with a grain of salt but it is pretty common amongst people who have been either overweight or been told they're overweight for a long time to basically make a survival strategy that goes something like preemptively being aware that you look fat which then leads into basically constantly reinforcing the self image of you being fat.

Now... if this keeps being a burden over you the most efficient way of dealing with things like this is, if I am right in thinking that it is a self image behavioral thing, is cognitive behavior therapy, it is the only thing I am aware of that has some efficacy in such things. But.. before doing that.. I'd suggest trying to stop yourself every time you think about you looking fat etc. and sort of go "no i am not" and actually take a look at yourself etc. and.. yeah...

And as an objective opinion.. dude.. you are nowhere near fat.. at all..
 
clever_plant said:
We are dealing with internet diagnostics here so... please take my words with a grain of salt but it is pretty common amongst people who have been either overweight or been told they're overweight for a long time to basically make a survival strategy that goes something like preemptively being aware that you look fat which then leads into basically constantly reinforcing the self image of you being fat.
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That sounds pretty dead on...

clever_plant said:
I'd suggest trying to stop yourself every time you think about you looking fat etc. and sort of go "no i am not" and actually take a look at yourself etc. and.. yeah...
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Yeah been working on that one :) thank you
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If you need help convincing yourself when you're telling yourself that you are actually not fat then go through a list of like factual things. Measure your waist for instance and then to make it easier to actually believe it when you tell yourself you are not fat have like a sequence of thoughts you go through.. sort of like.

"What is my sort of world view? that I am fat"

"What is the evidence for this world view? (go through stuff like "I've been told I'm fat when I was younger and other things that might make you believe this)"

"What is the evidence that this world view is false? (this is where measurement of your waist comes into play, also that people tell you you are not fat etc."

"What is the most realistic worldview irrespective of my emotions and feelings? obviously that you are not fat"

and then tell yourself that you aren't fat. That might give you a sort of.. short pause where it actually makes emotionally sense that you aren't fat. I know it helps a lot of people to go through it logically like that before they try to overpower stuck self-views and such :)
 
I really do think that your head just needs time to catch up to reality, especially considering you've been "chubby" most of your life. I'm sure almost everyone who's lost a large amount of weight feels the way you do to a larger or smaller extent (I know I do!) As long as you're not actually doing yourself harm and you recognize that you're self-image is skewed I would say just let time do its work. Eventually your self-image will adjust to reality.
 
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