Melody's Diary

Yeah I know that feeling.... I hates it. lol. I just don't wanna job where people can see me ya know? Plus where I live there's lots of hills and I know I need to start off on flat ground. I could always go to the park nearby but... people go to the park, lol. I guess I'll just have to get over it and do it at some point. How far can you jog before you have to stop? I swear I probably can't job for more than a min, I'm so incredibly outta shape when it comes to that, I've never been a runner, ever...lol.

Oh, I get measured and stuff tom, I'll post my heaviest measurements I have and those ones on my diary at some point tom, I'm so excited to see the difference!
 
update

well I'm still at the same weight (boo) but my muscles are sore all over and that feels great. I've been happier and people have been noticing it...well except for some hormones *men flee in fear*. I'll be happier in the long run though!

gotta run :)
 
Yeah I totally know about being at the same weight! It sucks, but if we keep putting effort into it, we will lose the weight!

I also agree with sore muscles feeling good! You know you worked them and it's awesome! I'm glad that you've been happier too :) Keep up the awesome work!
 
dramatic

I've been fighting cravings. No, not for crack or shopping, not for alcohol or star wars themed stamps. No, I've been craving french fries, great seasoned ones. I've fought it off for now but it has an ungodly hold of me, as if the seasoning were somehow calling my name. In my daze it is my body that is saying either "oh hey, you need salts and carbs" or "hey you, I'm trying to sabotage your attempts at health!"

One of those

We will see if I survive

dum dum dum



:p
 
LOL, that was so funny! Ha... crack... star wars themed stamps... man! Too funny! Your cravings sound like mine. When I get a bad craving it just doesn't go away! The only way it goes away is if I wait long enough and have to go to bed and get to sleep, or, I just eat it :p Usually I just end up eating it. So I know how it is! Hopefully you survived through your craving! Maybe on your cheat day/rest day whatever you wanna call it, have some. That's why it's good to have those kinda days, that way every so often you can still have an item or something that you love and it makes it easier to stick to your healthy eating the rest of the time knowing that you can have a treat soon :)
 
Hi everyone!

How has everyone been doing:)? I've been out due to a big pain in the...back. I strained my back pretty badly, to the point where lifint anything hurt, but I'm feeling so much better now. Gah I was on some medication that gave me a sore throat and warned that it would be "normal" if I peed green/black. Really? Normal? I dont think so. But just like me I just *had* to get my art work done and the pain persisted (and persists) but I'm trying to take it easy *cough*whenIremember*cough*whichiswhenIfeelthepain*cough*.

Luckily though I've lost some weight! 171.5>168. Not much but it means I broke that barrier and I'm twice as energized. Also, I went to Trader Joes and found the greatest little thing for my skin. It's the "blemish touch stick" from desert essence and it really did clear up my skin and I'm just like wow. Losing weight, clearer skin, mmhmm oh yeah I'm on a mission.

Oh and is anyone else a religous receipt checker? A cashier got some things wrong on my last purchase and she insisted that I must have been confused! She must have been looking for a :boxing: but it was with the wrong cutomer! Eventually I called a higher up and had it fixed and even though it was only $8, they were my $8 :)
 
Nothing like finals to make you want to eat bad food. I've been so excited about a project I'm working on, so luckily that's kept my mind/stomach occupied. Oh and I've been craving pizza and everyone around me has been having it or telling me they have, what a bunch of evil friends! I think I might give in and have a slice before it drives me bonkers though.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your back! I'll not be able to do much exercise with my surgery coming up, but I do plan on walking and that should be ok. I'm soooo happy for you that you lost weight! You caught up to me, woo! I haven't lost anything yet and I'm sooo angry. But to be truthful I haven't been putting in the amount of effort I could be, so yeah.

I'm not an avid receipt checker, but I should be cause I don't trust people to not make mistakes! lol... Hey, if they made a mistake you have the right to get it corrected :D

Oh, and if you want that slice of pizza go for it! Just go to a place where you can buy it by the slice so that you don't have leftovers! That way it really is just a treat, hehe.
 
hi:)

yeah having a whole pizza around is just a late night hunger sin waiting to happen.

And you'll lose the weight, you've come so far already! My friend has been losing weight like nothing and I'm so jealous. Apparently stress makes him lose weight, if that were the case with me I'd be close to poofing into sand.
 
LOL, I don't think that stress being the cause to losing weight can be that healthy. I mean some people don't eat when they're stressed hence the weight loss, but that's not healthy. So the way we're doing it is much better, so what if it's slower at times!

Yesterday my sis and her bf came over and he brought a pizza (cause he had a free pizza and all he had to do was call) and it was good, cause there was the 4 of us (my bf included) and so we got 2 pieces each and it was kewl. That way there was no way to overeat it because that's all there was!

I hope you're doing well. I can't exercise much (just had a little surgery to remove a cyst and I can't do my cardio kickboxing for 2 weeks) so starting next week I'll go on walks during my lunch hour at work.

How has the eating and exercise been going for you?
 
Hi , there again. Gah I'm so sporadic on this site I know I know. I really should check in more.

The eating has been going well and the excercise...not so much. I've continued with my crunches, pushups, and other excercise but jogging has dropped off. Though, I did just sign up for the schoool gym and am looking to start with that after the orientation this saturday. Oh and I'm thinking of joining in on the "Fat Smash Diet" to get some structure in what I should be eating. It looks like that diet plan would work well with being vegetarian. I'm excited but it's been a struggle for every pound that comes off, but it's worth it!

Thanks for dropping by, I appreciate it :)
 
writing

I felt like I needed to write more

I've never been thin, I've always had some curves on me, but I've always been conscious of my weight. I can remember back to elementary school and a tiny me thinking "I don’t like my legs, they’re fat." and I was ashamed of them. I feel uncomfortable in the body I have now, as if it were one of those sumo suits I put on and cant take off for the life of me and the person I was fighting in the ring were no other than myself. I could say that I started feeling that way after I gained the 60 pounds from a medication (that saved my life), but I always felt that way. During high school I simply would not wear anything that would show my legs, it took me years to get used to wearing shorts and thankfully I now do. Losing weight has been a journey of learning to love myself and be proud of myself, whatever weight I may be, for whatever imperfections I may think I have.

I think I've put off putting my all, my every last drop of sweat, into this because I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed that a so called woman of reason let it get to this and that a woman of reason can't always see through the idiocy of thinking I'm not good enough. I'm also embarrassed because I feel like a failure, and I know I shouldn’t, being sick and having to take time off of school was not my fault but I still feel like it was. I'm bitter about it and I still blame me. Actually, it hurts to even talk about it. I may not actively think this but somewhere in me I keep whispering to myself that I'm not good enough to wear this or that, to speak up louder, to achieve what I want, because of all of the above.

I'm here to put an end to punishing myself, to hating myself, to all of this ridiculousness. I'm here to lose weight for my health and for my mind. I am going to do this.
 
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Hey! Good job on getting that pedometer, I'm sure it'll really help keep track of things. I hear you're supposed to do 10, 000 a day... I wonder what mine would be! lol Not nearly enough unless I went on a planned walk, lol.

I can understand complete parts of what you said. I have never been thin either. I was always the overweight one in my class, always the one picked last in gym, always the one made fun of. I look back but I can't say, I should have been happy being thin then, because I never was. I mean, I have been thinner than this, but still at my lightest could have lost about 20 more pounds. I always regret not doing it back then. I also feel like a failure at letting myself get as bad as it got. I had promised myself not to go over 160 and I went well beyond that.

I don't remember the last time I wore shorts and I still don't. I do wear skirts every so often but they're the ones that go down to the knees. So I can also understand how you feel in that aspect too. I'm so proud of you that you are wearing shorts now, because that's something I still can't do. I plan on looking for some in the upcoming weeks maybe so I can bike to work in them for the summer, it'll be too hot to wear jeans while biking.

I applaud you for getting your feelings down even though you feel embarrassed. I think it really helps to be honest about feelings and intern that'll help you move beyond it. I think you're already moving beyond it by taking the step to wear shorts.

I wish you luck in trying to stop punishing yourself, hating yourself, etc because it's not an easy thing to do and I admire you for really putting in that effort. I know I need to do the same thing, and you writing your feelings has helped me see my own that I never really wanted to admit.
 
Thanks Christina, for reading and sharing a bit about yourself also. I just felt I had to get all that out there and out of me and looks like it helped. I'm at 166 today :)
 
Great job! You've surpased me! Once I'm more healed I'll give you a run for your money! lol
 
OH! Up for the challenge are ya! Just you wait until I'm healed... boy oh boy! LOL... I can't do anything serious yet until at least next weds. And that was the minimum. So I'll have to see how it is by then, and then see if I can do anything more than walk, lol.
 
lol there is no challenge, you've got to get better, I've got to be not sick, and we all just have to support :)

I was sitting in bed today, drinking my water and blowing my nose, and I was and am just so tired of being inside. There's sunshine to run around in out there, so immune system do something already!

So I just sat around and thought of things like songs having to do with weight loss (I only got to "you dont want to lose weight, yeah you want to lose mass, so come on girl, and get off your #ss" lol) and then I thought of wedding things. Weddings are waaay too expensive and site rentals are just annoyingly high in price, it's only one day geez. Thankfully our honeymoon will be close to free with all of our hotel points and airline miles! Mhmm

Okay back to the tissue box
 
Hehehe, there's nothing wrong with a healthy challenge. I find challenges help motivate. It's not about winning or losing or anything like that, it's just about trying to push each other to do the best we can. But in any case, I wasn't making this anything serious or anything, just to let ya know, hehehe.

I hope you do get better soon. My incision is healing nice, although it is still sore. My stomach isn't feeling too well the past couple days, so hopefully it's good by tomorrow so I can go for my walk at work on my lunch hour.

Good luck with wedding plans and all. It is really expensive just for one day. I wish it wouldn't have to be so. I'm not getting married for a long while so I don't have to worry about it anytime soon. However, maybe I won't get married due to the fact of how expensive it is. I dunno, we'll see, lol.
 
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