Me again!

I've been trying SOSOSO hard to not avoid getting on this site and reading journals and staying motivated, its just been so hard. :( TOM hasn't been nice to me, and I'm back up to the start. Go effing figure. Food this whole last week has been just AWEFUL, gym was nonexistent, and mood was basically shittastic. Woo! Awesome.

I've got midterms in my A&P lab tomorrow morning at 8am, I've been studying all day, and nothing is sticking. Crap. I should just go to bed, considering class is in 6 friggin hours, I just feel like I need to keep going. Gaaaah! Why did I decide to go back to classs again? Because I feel like everything is failing all at once: school, work(which I've always hated :rolleyes: ), and health. I need to 100% get my shit in gear in every aspect of my life or I'll be stuck where I am for the rest of it. Need to get a tutor; don't wanna waste my money on school if I'm not gonna do good. Need to get a trainer, because apparently I need someone to yell and scream and make me do the things I need to do in the gym. AND, neeeeeeed a new job. :/ easier said than done on that one... Uggh.

What a depressing post! This should be a GOOD post, I should always have something positive to say, and right now I say eff the positivity. How the hell am I gonna get myself on track for things when I lack the motivation to do any of it??

Uggh.
 
Hey lady!! ToM gets us all girls - so dont worry about it!!! we just have to pick ourselves up and continue!!!
Trainer sounds good - i d love one too. unfortunaltelly cannot afford a personal trainer - but second best thing is to g to classes. You will do it bc you are too embarrassed not to do it!!! & go to the front so you defo gonna do it well - lol - thats what i have been doing it works!

You ll be fine!!! :grouphug: SMILE :)
 
Hang in there jess !!

you know you can always PM me if you need help with your gym program.
 
Hey love! :grouphug: Maybe set smaller more attainable goals daily. What I've noticed about you, is that you always want to go HARD @ at the gym and do insane workouts, or do nothing. Black and white. Maybe you should start showing yourself the grey area now. Do something daily. Even if it is 5 mins of jumping jacks only. But really, why not just do a baby circuit if it's going to be 5 mins only.

50 jacks
50 squats
25 pushups (even girly ones)
50 bicycle abs

~3 sets~ (5, no more than 10 mins there for you with variety.) You can do this Jess!

You can do it, Jess!! I know it doesn't sound like it's going to change much, but TRUST me, throughout time, the one thing that does change is your mind! Your confidence knowing that you can change your life, rock by rock. Day by day. When you look back, you've moved the mountain. Whether that mountain is finding a new job, finding a tutor, doing exercise, eating right.

And your job, ..why don't you apply to one new place weekly. Or one new place every other day? Even if you don't want the job that calls back..you have options, now! How good would it feel to have options!?! :)

You are very smart as well!! You can do it in school too. Maybe find a study budy?

Anyway..love ya girl! GET YOUR ASS ON IT!! You deserve a great life! We all do!
 
Oh yes,...forgot to mention:

YOU CAN NEVER FAIL, IF YOU NEVER QUIT!!! ...So,..that makes you a SUCCESS because you haven't quit on life! You fall, and STAND BACK UP! You are a WARRIOR, JESS! Know that...
 
Thanks everyone :) I'm MUCH better today... I'm not normally a negative person per say, so days like that, its a sort of get it out or stew in it type moment :/ .

Alta- how right you are... I'm all or nothing, and I need to quit thinking like that! I did a light workout at home this morning before work- not MUCH, but like ya said- it all adds up. I appreciate the pep talks from everyone ;)
 
Had today off work, skipped a class :/ yeah yeah, I know, bad. BUT, I've not skipped one class yet in 2 semesters; this morning was just exhausting! Slept in a bit, made it to the rest of school :)

Had some chocolate today- badddd! However, it was the last of the chocolate, and will BE the last of the chocolate for a while. When I buy it, I binge. Can't do that to myself anymore... just feel guilty and horrible afterwards, annnd its not worth it.

So, I have this little mini stair stepper in my room- just a little guy, you can't change tension on it or anything- but I've been working my way up to bigger numbers every day. I was digging in the coat closet today and found my old AbGlide. Anyone remember those?? This little blue spring loaded wheely thing... I've had it for like 10 years, probably only used it a handful of times (go figure!) so I pulled it out and its next to my stepper for little mini workouts throughout the day. Used it for abou 5 minutes this afternoon, and ohhh man. My abs(which are DEFINITELY buried) are achin' a bit now! LOL! I'll take that as a good sign :D

Allllright. Another day down: on to the next.
 
hey you! welcome back!! :hurray:
i think we all skippd our fair share of classes hehe - the worst one was a Friday 9 am Statistics....i think that got skipped pretty much every fortnight...
chocolate..i m sooo grateful for pick n mix - helps me not binge on chocolate or pistachios...i literally put like 10 pistachions & like 5-6 dark chocolate coated peanuts....& it costs like less than 50 cents!!!! hahaha!! so i m satisfied for chocolate!! :hurray:
keep up the good job!
 
Justina said:
hey you! welcome back!! :hurray:
i think we all skippd our fair share of classes hehe - the worst one was a Friday 9 am Statistics....i think that got skipped pretty much every fortnight...
chocolate..i m sooo grateful for pick n mix - helps me not binge on chocolate or pistachios...i literally put like 10 pistachions & like 5-6 dark chocolate coated peanuts....& it costs like less than 50 cents!!!! hahaha!! so i m satisfied for chocolate!! :hurray:
keep up the good job!
Click to expand...

Pick n mix, what a great idea! Literally have never thought of doing that before... gonna hafta start :)
Thanks for the idea!

Ok, so I don't have the internet at the moment, and doing this from my phone is super time consuming, so hence the absence... Just had to get on here and say I'm still working! Minus a few setbacks here and there- like my gym just decided to deactivate my key one day, so I get there at 130am annnnd I couldn't get in. shitty! And my knee has been acting up again, so I FINALLY set an appointment to see an orthopedic dr for next friday. Nervous as hell, but it needs to get taken care of if I really wanna dig in to my workouts... Also got the rest of the house renovations coming up- siding, fence, windows, doors, whole shebang! I'll be paying for it forever, but it'll be worth it :)
Ok, gotta cut it there, my hand is going numb trying to type on this thing!!
 
Tonights workout was rough... I ate a pretty big supper way to close to gym time :/ cardio sucks when ya just wanna lay down and take a nap, lol!!!
tomorrow nights goal: NOT to eat that much, so close to the gym. Otherwise, it was a good day :)
 
still goin strong at the gym! I've been doing 35min cardio all week, and then weights. Tonight, however, was just an awefullllllll day at work, and when I got to the gym I just put it all out there. Did an hour of cardio and then did five minutes on the rower... doesn't seem like much, but five minutes is pretty rough on a rower lol!!

Alright, gonna relax a few min before I head to bed, watching last weeks episode of biggest loser- ugggggh I haaaaate tara :/ - lol.
 
aackkk! Figured out how to pilfer my sisters wifi from across the street, bhahaha! :) its a little bit slow, soooo I may not wanna deal with this often either, kinda like my phone, HOWEVER, at least I can type wayyyy easier with the computer.

Anyway. So- exterior remodel started yesterday! Yayyy! new doors, new windows... beautiful. Siding will be going up in a few weeks; SO excited. The house is gonna look brand new, completely different. :D

Other news: didn't go to the gym last night- decided to make it my night off, which was ok, because I've been going strong for a week with loads of cardio and lots of weights. My knee of course hates allllll cardio- even the cross trainers and arc trainers that are lower impact- and I had an appt today to see an ortho dr. Was sorta just expecting a "your knee hurts because you're too goddamned fat!" speech, but he said he was pretty certain theres gonna be surgery involved :( I have an appt next Thurs to see an ortho surgeon, go over the xrays, see what he says. lovellllly. shoulda taken care of this knee years ago, but I'm doing it now, that's what matters. Just sucks that now I'm gonna have big medical bills on top of all the money we're spending on the house. effffffffff. ahhh, stress, deluxe :/
 
Windows and doors are about done, looks wonderful! Gym tonight was decent. Half hour and 2.5 miles of cardio on the cross trainer, and just under an hour of weights. Feel pretty good! foot and knee hurt a bit, but whatevvs :/ do what ya can with what ya have I guess!
 
good effort :)

how is the knee feeling, I have been through knee surgery so I have a good idea of what your going through.
 
Knee is doing a lot better this week, thanks Tru :)

Dr. says we're gonna try to avoid surgery for at least six weeks- physical therapy until end of June, then he'll see if its gotten any better, and if not, THEN surgery. Here's praying and hoping for good results!
He was a really great orthopedic dr., LOOOOVED him. Totally went above and beyond going over things with me, which was great. He said that while being overweight wasn't HELPING the knee pain obviously, but that it wasn't the only factor involved... he called it something like patellar tendon dysplasia or something? I can't remember, exactly, but he said it was more common in women than men; wider hips cause the knee caps to sorta be in the wrong spot, which then causes knee and foot pain. So, now I know :D
He did ask about what I was doing to lose weight, and I told him. He asked if I wanted to see a dietician, and I said EFF YES! I'd really like to know where exactly I'm going wrong, where I can change things, etc. Soooo glad to have this chance, finally. :)
 
Saw a dietician today... turns out I'm doing basically everything I SHOULD be doing. Eating the right amount of cals, the right kinds of foods... :/ meh. She told me how much fat and protein to be eating, so I'm gonna start counting those, as well. So, now I've just gotta step up my game; work really hard to consciously avoid the bad stuff that I always reach for...I can still eat some of that stuff now and then, but my biggest problem is, and always has been, that I just can't quit, or DON'T quit, I guess. 3 or 4 oreos turns into a half a package without me even NOTICING it, so yeahhhh. NO MOREEEEE!

Saw the physical therapist today, too. He gave me a bunch of different exercises to do at home to use different muscles that support my knees better. He ALSO said that my feet are very flat and I need to get some orthotics :/ meh. Not to happy bout that, lol! I reallllly love my flipflops :( Gotta do whatcha gotta do, I guess!

Alright, off to the gym to get a good burn in :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top