Maybe a community will help

Leonora

Leonora

New member
Hi, as you may have guessed I'm a new member,

I've tried to lose weight on my own before and haven't succeeded, I'm starting to think that might be the problem. Now I'm sure I wouldn't be comfortable joining a RL weight loss community but this site seems to hopefully offer the best solution!

I can't really remember a time when I wasn't at least slightly overweight, I was certainly a chubby child and sadly it turned out it wasn't "puppy fat" that would mysteriously disappear as soon I hit my late teens, it just slowly and steadily got worse (that little miracle dream always lurked in the back of my mind even though I knew better ;))

I'm aware of the health benefits of losing weight and my doctor has certainly advised I do so as it may help my PCOS symptoms, but sadly I've decided to really try harder this time for one rather shallow reason. I want to look good! I want to be able to go into a clothes shop and always find my size on the rails (although ultimately if I am successful this may be bad for my bank balance, a sacrifice I'm willing to bear!)

Anyway, nice to meet you all, hopefully I get to know some of you better soon :D

Leonora
 
Welcome Leonora :)

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to look good. The main thing is this: you have to have valid reasons for wanting to do this. They have to be valid and have a ton of emotional intensity tied to them.

For instance, saying, "I want to lose weight so I look good" probably isn't enough to drive you to consistently take action, which is required. It's the accumulation of many small steps that lead to greatness in this 'game.'

Rather, saying something like, "I want to lose weight because I can only imagine how great it feels to walk out onto a beach in a bikini completely proud and having people look at me and think 'wow.'"

Organize your focus and your 'whys' in order to generate enough fuel to make a difference.

Also, identifying why your past efforts failed in the long run is critical as well.

Best to you.
 
You make an excellent point about having a more absolute goal - I'm going to give it some serious thought. The same goes for why I haven't been successful on previous attempts.

Thanks for the excellent advice.
 
Yea, an absolute goal is important. I have an absolute goal that definitely helps motivate me. It's something that in truth, I'll probably never reach, but I'm a firm believer of aiming high.

In addition, I'm constantly jotting down emotionally-juiced ideas about why I do what I do and why I want what I want.

I think writing them down is important. Otherwise just as fast as they come, they vanish.

My mood is volatile but over the years I've accumulated enough emotional intensity and enough thoughts to keep me consistent regardless of most anything.

Controlling your internal self-talk is extremely crucial too. Tens of thousands of negative thoughts tend to be pretty unproductive for most. The things we say to ourselves lead to the way we perceive things. Perception is reality.
 
Leonora said:
You make an excellent point about having a more absolute goal - I'm going to give it some serious thought. The same goes for why I haven't been successful on previous attempts.

Thanks for the excellent advice.
Click to expand...
There's a few threads aroundon goal setting.. and your goal is really yours alone -but do try to keep it SMART...

that is
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic/Reasonable
Timeley
 
Ah the great mnemonic strikes :).

I get the S and M of SMART, but how would you gage what is Attainable, Realistic and Timely?

For that matter surely ART should come before Measurable and Specific... hmmm. Maybe it should be TRAMS? Or maybe not... that would leave it slightly lacking in the positive connotations department :biggrinjester:.

Seriously though, how would you know what was an unreasonable goal; whether it's expecting the weight loss to happen too fast, or it's just too mammoth a job to get to the ideal weight and you should settle for a more realistic goal?

I would need to lose 75lb to be my recommended healthy weight (which I would want ideally).... what sort of time frame would be reasonable or should I just settle for something more realistic for the moment?

Whoops sorry my ramble... maybe I should find the appropriate thread for these concerns.
 
that's where expectations come into play and making sure that your goal is reasonable - will you l ose 75lbs in 2 months? Nope... but will you lose that in 7 months? entirely possible...

Generally 1 percent of your body weight a week is a reasonable expectation BUT know that weightis fickle - and doens't always dowhat you want it to... (read some of the stickied threads in on topic - you'll get a better understanding)

Focusing on changing behavior and learning new habits will take you a lot further than just waiting for the result... change the behavior and the results will come...
 
Leonora said:
I want to be able to go into a clothes shop and always find my size on the rails (although ultimately if I am successful this may be bad for my bank balance, a sacrifice I'm willing to bear!)
Click to expand...

Oh yeah, that is a good feeling!

Ironically, I did encounter not finding my size a couple weeks ago, even though I was looking for a more 'normal' (not a plus) size. Go figure.

Welcome!
 
One of my original goals was that i wanted to be able to wear lingerie from Victoria's Secret... that was a fun -and yet slightly dangerous splurge :) goals are personal-and you have to go with what will keep you on the path you want to be on...
 
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