Matt's place to vent and babble

usedtobefatmatt said:
So something cool happened this week. I started out my weightloss journey under doctors care in a weightloss program. They did an excellent job and really helped me build a great foundation for when i left the program. After losing my weight I have gone back several times to talk with the new people in the program to show that it can be done. There are no miracle drugs, pills, fads just hard work, exercise and eating right.

I always liked going back because it's just my way to say thanks for them helping me. So i went back this week and was talking to the leader of the program, she said that the people in the program always love when i come in. She has been talking with her boss and then told me they are going to start paying me for my time. So now i will be getting a check everytime i go in. It wasnt my intentions to get paid but it feels good.

Matt
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yeyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! you have that gift matt... you know how to inspire and motivate people when they are at there lowest.. If it wouldn't have been for ur words in the beginning I would have given up.. Thanks matt for all your help in my journey.. I could see why they are paying you.. they don't want to lose an asset.. :party: keep it up my friend.. :beating: thanks take care..[
 
Matt,

I've enjoyed reading through your journal...congratulations on your hard earned successes! Your transformation is amazing and something I'm hoping to achieve myself.

Thanks for taking the time to journal/post in here!

E.
 
Matt-
Its awesome to hear about the offer to compensate you for your time. So does this mean that you're a professional inspiration? :coolgleamA: Hell yeah, man.
 
Karebare said:
howz it goin there mister????????????\\
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Status quo right now, just getting some stuff done so i can on vaca with a clean desk. :smilielol5:

The family is heading to the lakes region in NH for a week. We rent a friends house that comes with all the bells and whistles. I cant wait. It going to be fun and relaxing. We'll as much relaxing as possible with a 4yo and 1yo.

I'll try to keep the eating in check but the drinking will be another story. But it vacation right?

Hope all is well with you

Matt
 
fitforaking said:
Matt,

I've enjoyed reading through your journal...congratulations on your hard earned successes! Your transformation is amazing and something I'm hoping to achieve myself.

Thanks for taking the time to journal/post in here!

E.
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Hey E,
Thanks for stopping by and for the kind words. There is no reason you cant acheive the goals your want. Stay focused and motivated and you will certainly reach your goal. Remember it didnt go on overnight (although sometimes it seems that way) it wont come off over night. Have a good plan, execute and you will be fine. Keep us posted.

Matt
 
steve_harris said:
Matt-
Its awesome to hear about the offer to compensate you for your time. So does this mean that you're a professional inspiration? :coolgleamA: Hell yeah, man.
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Thanks Steve! I dont know if I'm professional or inspirational but like to help out where I can. I can talk till I'm blue in the face it's still the person on the other side that accomplishes everything.

Matt
 
morning matt!!!!

sounding good as usual..and that breathe advice worked out great...I am down on the scale finally

ttyl
me
 
Hey all!

This update is long over due. LOts of stuff going on.

I went on the family vacation a couple weeks ago and had an absolute blast. I really enjoyed myself and relaxed a lot. Planty of beautiful weather, swimming, jet ski riding and yes, drinking. Eating was OK, not the best but happy with it. One week wont kill me.

So I get back to the job last Monday and get called into the office. I have been a little nervous because we are over staffed at my position. The boss sits me down and offers me another position within the company. After being told they weren't going to replace me and strongly advised it would be a good career move i accept the job. Which I'm very happy about, plenty of job security at this time.

One major problem is i will be moving to another office about 20 miles away. No problem with the commute but i won't be able to stay at my current gym which is right next door to my current office. I really liked this gym and felt comfortable. Met some new people and made some friends. I actually took a spinning class today and liked it. I usually hate the bike but I did enjoy it.

So i will be a little sad leaving that gym but will have to get used to a new gym. No big deal, i guess.

My weight is around 219 which is about 20 lbs higher then my low of 199. I am ok with this but no higher. I look and feel better right now. I just completed a 6 week bulk prior to vacation and now would like to lose about 8-10 lbs over the course of a month. Hopefully, no problem but we'll see.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Matt
 
Matt hey buddy

Thats a bummer about the gym change. I hate change. UGH. Grr. But look at the bright side, you can make new friends at this gym. Double the friends, double mint gum, or something like that. :D. Cheers.
Ash
 
Hi Matt, I have been busy too...I am at a standstill but I still have hopes to lose 20 more. I am getting alot of compliments and even had a "come on" from some guy the other night at a bday party for a friend. Thats a nice compliment and to be honest I basked in the praise for a little while....

I am glad they offered you something new..I have been out of work since may now and the only people calling on my resume are scammers (yes you can make a million dollas in 5 days if you follow my advice). You will be fine at the new gym but I know if someone told me I couldnt spin with my instructor I would be bummed....I love my spin class.

TTYL...have a great day/week...
Kare
 
Hi Friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:party: How are you? Was thinking about you other day when watching the baseball game..:) :rofl: :smilielol5: :smilielol5: Glad too see everything is good in your world and that you still have a job.. I know times are tough all over the place but at least they just offered you something new.. Everyone I know is getting laid off it is so sad :cry:... Regardless I guess we will be kicking more BOSTON ass.. Super excited..lol.. Take care my friend.. I'm doing good.. Hanging in there trying to lose 20 more pounds at 2 pounds a week.. For xmas I shall be right around there... Feel amazing but ya know people always want more.. super happy were where I'm at but can't wait to where I'm going.. Keep in touch for sure...xoxo.. :party:
 
It's been a while and actually, It's been too long for me. I sit here with many mixed emotions. I feel my world is spinning out of control. I have been putting on weight lately. I weighed today in at 224. Before I was trying to add some muscle but now I cant seem to focus on my eating. Yes, I am still working out but my eating is affecting my entire life.

My wife has noticed I am not the same, she continously asks what's wrong but I cant bring myself to tell her that my eating has been out of control. I am binge eating and eating in private. I really thought I had this. I lost a lot of weight. I felt great but now I realize I can not get comfortable. I have been eating a lot of the rights foods. I still have not ate my old "binge foods". Still no fried foods, chips or chinese food but just larger portions of good foods and I have developed a little sweet tooth. That's something I have ALWAYS been able to avoid.

This was my worst fear. I always feared that I would gain weight back. I dont know about anyone else but I felt the pressure of losing weight. I dont know if anyone else has ever felt this way but I just feel that I'm the kid that lost weight and people feel they have to talk to me about weight loss. It gets old after a while. It's like people feel they have to talk to me about it. We cant talk about normal stuff, it's always...how's the eating, how's the gym...how much have you lost now?

I have no idea where this is going to take me. I certainly hope i can snap out of this but i dont know if i can. I dont want to go back to where I was. I just wish I could lose ten pounds. What sucks is I know what i have to do, i know motivation comes from me, I know where I came from but I cant stop eating. A little here and little there and that's what is killing me.

I was always fat and always thought that if i lost the weight I would be happy but i guess that is not the case. Maybe I need something else, maybe there are other reasons but I have no idea.....
 
I actually feel sad after reading this last post. I feel almost let down in a way... even though you're really not letting me down? I don't know. It's just that I'm feeling that feeling of being let down. I guess it's almost like the feeling of when the Vikings kicked the Packer's ASS on Monday night football a few weeks ago :icon_bs:

Don't give up... don't give in.... you've come such a long way. Whatever it is that is missing, I'm sure you will find it soon. Stay positive!

~ Sarah

 
Hey buddy, long time no speak!

I understand exactly where your coming from, I put on a few lbs over the last few months, eating has been a little crazy sometimes mixed with recovering from surgery obviously, but still.

I think the only advice I can give is what you already know deep down...dont stress about it!! You know you have the power and the will to drop a few lbs if you need too!

Your a different person to what you used to be, don't beat urself up for putting on weight, you know what to do, get it done!!

I was always fat and always thought that if i lost the weight I would be happy but i guess that is not the case.
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I imagine this is a very common misconception..was for me too.

Hang in there buddy, Im sure things will get better for you :D
 
Hey Matt

I am sorry you are struggling so....its crazy how one day we are "solid" and the next day we have trouble controlling ourselves. I would encourage you to talk to your wife or maybe someone else you trust. What are your reasons for binging? Can you put them into words? For me its a spiral thing and triggers are things like....parties..if i do bad at a party i go out of control....or drinking...i binge when i drink. I am wondering if you can put your emotions into this journal about how you feel during and after? Or come here before you start a binge and mind dump.

I know the frustration. I have not gained but have stayed the same since about July, I just want to lose 20 pounds but its not happening. I am still happy with myself and vow to never go back to that girl I was a year ago. I love my new body even though it isnt perfect....loving myself for what I am now and not for what I THINK I can be helps.

PM me if you need to talk and I will give you my email address.

(((MATT)))

K
 
usedtobefatmatt said:
It's been a while and actually, It's been too long for me. I sit here with many mixed emotions. I feel my world is spinning out of control. I have been putting on weight lately. I weighed today in at 224. Before I was trying to add some muscle but now I cant seem to focus on my eating. Yes, I am still working out but my eating is affecting my entire life.

My wife has noticed I am not the same, she continously asks what's wrong but I cant bring myself to tell her that my eating has been out of control. I am binge eating and eating in private. I really thought I had this. I lost a lot of weight. I felt great but now I realize I can not get comfortable. I have been eating a lot of the rights foods. I still have not ate my old "binge foods". Still no fried foods, chips or chinese food but just larger portions of good foods and I have developed a little sweet tooth. That's something I have ALWAYS been able to avoid.

This was my worst fear. I always feared that I would gain weight back. I dont know about anyone else but I felt the pressure of losing weight. I dont know if anyone else has ever felt this way but I just feel that I'm the kid that lost weight and people feel they have to talk to me about weight loss. It gets old after a while. It's like people feel they have to talk to me about it. We cant talk about normal stuff, it's always...how's the eating, how's the gym...how much have you lost now?

I have no idea where this is going to take me. I certainly hope i can snap out of this but i dont know if i can. I dont want to go back to where I was. I just wish I could lose ten pounds. What sucks is I know what i have to do, i know motivation comes from me, I know where I came from but I cant stop eating. A little here and little there and that's what is killing me.

I was always fat and always thought that if i lost the weight I would be happy but i guess that is not the case. Maybe I need something else, maybe there are other reasons but I have no idea.....
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I don't know from where to start.......but I do know what you feel from inside,a mixed bag of emotions.....and thats very normal and human.....so please take it easy :)Even I do feel it at times this feeling of not sticking to plans and binge eatiing and that guilt that comes over with it .........Oh damn believe me its the feeling that's awful and we might not have eaten that amount of stuff or those calories to be concerned with!But still, we do worry about it and then there is a fear....fear of being what we were PHYSICALLY BEFORE,I mean.....It takes a lot of grit and determination to bring CHANGE in our life....and then the mind starts playing the game along with the guilt conscience........You have already mentioned that you haven't eaten the wrong food stuff
usedtobefatmatt said:
"I have been eating a lot of the rights foods. I still have not ate my old "binge foods". Still no fried foods, chips or chinese food but just larger portions of good foods and I have developed a little sweet tooth. That's something I have ALWAYS been able to avoid."
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So you should be proud of yourself :hurray:Its the way you see things :)And let me tell you you have already learned the art of self control , just don't lose your cool even if you had binged for a while,You have come a long way,Be proud of yourself ,we all are and believe me that's why everyone keeps enquiring about it
usedtobefatmatt said:
It's like people feel they have to talk to me about it. We cant talk about normal stuff, it's always...how's the eating, how's the gym...how much have you lost now?
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I mean to say, everyone admires you for this feat and they know that its a tough job,so they keep enquiring about it and who knows they might be getting a bit of inspirational dose from you ! that's why they keep asking the same old stuff.......

Last but not the least ,"You are more than just what the weighing scale shows you.You are a gem of a person and we all love you for what you are :)"
So please,smile :) and move on, just grab these moments cause life is short so make it sweet :)
Love you :seeya:
 
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To sum it all "Love yourself" That's what's missing dude :)Don't be your own critic to such an extent that you lose the charm in your life...Otherwise you would end up being Anton Ego..remember the character in Ratatouille.....Poor guy takes the job of being a food critic so seriously that he forgets to smile.....I am sure you don't wanna end up being one.....
This might sound insane but do try this....Stand in front of the mirror,Look at yourself and say" I love you" to yourself ......Just try it , with a smile :)
 
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