*Mary's Diary*

M

Mary2122

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Ok so people know me from this forum for my desire to become a fitness competitor....i still have a great deal of respect for women (and men) that compete but after doing a lot of research, and realizing my goals geared more towards health and not bulking, i realized that this wasnt for me...but im not ashamed of myself or nething...i like trying new ideas and if its not for me then i just end up learning more about myself :)

So i am starting this new diary and reintroducing myself and my goals. OK so i lost some weight...i was 138 as my highest after a intense binging problem which would then lead me to skip meals often in order to remove some of the guilt i had from binging...it was an evil cycle and it took a toll on my personaity, emotional health, and physical health. I gained 10lbs and lost all of my confidence. Now i am down to 129 :) well i thought i was 131 but i wieghed myself at the gym yesterday and it was was 129 but it may be wrong...but i have a DR. apt tomorrow so we will see :) I am entering the last few semesters before i become an elementary teacher and i amnow happier than ever. I'm in love with my boyfriend of 5 years...we had some rough spots but it just made me stronger. My anxiety has dropped significantly even tho i still have my rough days and i just feel like i grew up a lot.

Goals:
Reach my goal weight of 125 (I am 5 foot 5) good goal right?
start yoga
perfect my vegetarian lifestyle and replace nutrients i am losing from not eating meat
work more with eliminating binging FOR GOOD ( i still have bad days)
and i mainly want to work on my emotional state of mind....i want to have more of a sense of inner peace.

Ok so lets start this diary:
Today i went to the city and i forgot my pedometer but i am sure i walked about 5 miles or more....we walked all over the place. I splurged on the food but i am not beating myself up cuz it was a nice day out and i have been good for a while. I notice the holidays are coming up and junk food is all over the place, i just need to pick and choose what dessert i really want and have that portion and not graze on ALL THE COOKIES AND BROWNIES AND cakes haha.....when i do that i realize that A)its only good on the tastebuds and then it goes straight to the hips :) and B) im treating my body like a trash can...empty calories in high abundance is nooo good

So today im not going to post my food but tomorrow i will start that.....thank u all for being so supportive :) Here is a pic of me and my boyfriend dan in NYC from today :)

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its officially confirmed :) i went to the DR today and they weighed me in at 129. That means 4 more pounds to go :) and also that i lost 7 lbs :) i almost hugged the nurse when she told me haha. ok so today i was supposed to do some yoga in the morning but i hit the Snooze button too many times aaagh. but i have work from 2-6 and then im gonna get some shopping done and then go to the gym. So far for my meals :

Breakfast:
Whole Wheat waffles (2) w/ light syrup.
Coffee
Pinapple

Snack:
About 10 nuts

Lunch:
Egg salad sandwich consisting of 2 eggs with 1tsp light mayo and some light italian dressing w/ cut up celery. on 2 slices whole grain bread with tomato.

then when i get out of work at 6 ill snack on something healthy while shopping and dinner will probably be:

Tofu soup my aunt made me (not sure the recipe but she is a health fanatic so im sure its good)
2 slices (they are very small) spinach pizza from organic store

snack:
not sure
 
Hey Mary, good luck on getting your goals accomplished!

You look very beautiful with black hair :)

Congrats on the loss, and hopes of more in the future.
 
so today im in an amazing mood for some reason....i went to the dentist....and bad news...i need surgery on my wisdom teeth this summer, im kinda scared but o well. But on a good note, i had an amazing workout....40 min of toning and wieghts and 30 min of cross trainer.......i have work tonight for 3 hours where im running around like a mad woman so i should add that to my workout as well haha. ok for food today:

Breakfast:
1 cup kashi heart healthy in 1% milk w/ side of pinaepple and coffee

Snack: 2 rice cakes

Lunch: Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich on Whole Wheat with a glass of milk with some chocolate protien powder in it

Snack:
Baby carrots and hummus

Dinner:
Not sure yet


k gotta run but ill check in later :)
 
Hi Mary!! So glad to see you are back with us! :D Looks like you have some healthy goals in place. Great news! And congrats on your weight loss! My first goal is still a goal, but I'm hoping by my birthday (March) I will have achieved it.
 
yea now that i think of it, wisdom teeth surgery doesnt seem TOO bad. ok so today was just bad, it was my one day off and i was so excited but it was just THAT day where you get annoyed over everything....i was stuck in traffic all day christmas shopping, waiting on line to pay, couldnt figure out what to get anybody, tired, felt disgusting. So today i took a nap, and thats weird of me to do, i never take naps...and i napped to long and then didnt have time for the gym. and then tonight i binged :( on ice cream and cookies and a lot of them. before this week i didnt binge in a long long time....and this week i did it 3 times. BAD. My Mom is a teacher so she is constantly bringing home goodies from all the christmas parties. and we never have junk food in the house so i just devoured them all. im scared because in about a week i have this "model" shoot...not anything big, my friend's company needs models for his products for advertisement. but still....wanna look good for it. How can i beat this before it really begins again??? well tomorrow is gonna be Day 1 of really truly getting serious....
 
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You doing good! Don't let it get you down. Consider those binges your indulgence day and that's it. Get it behind you. Next time you got some more care-package, send it over to neighbor ;)

BTW i will be in NYC for a week in January, I think! hubby going for a bus trip and I just wanna tag along :D

Oooh, Can you post the photoshoot piccy after it's done? :)
 
thanks kiria! your completly right and i needed to hear those words :) so today (bad move) i weighed myself and i went up from 128.8 to 130.4 but i dont think this is REAL POUNDS haha if that makes ne sense, i think its that whole "put on fast, will probably come off fast"....am i right? and i also ate a sandwich like an hour before weighing myself. hmm. idk...but all and all today was a good day...work probably caused me to walk miles and miles and then i went to the gym and had an amazing workout....45 min cardio and 40 min toning. Food was a little minimal today. I had:
B- Kashi with banana and coffee
S- Apple and carrots and a slice of cheese (fatfree american)
L- Peanut butter and banana sandwich with cup of milk.
Dinner- idk...its getting late i dont want nething too heavy....but i NEED dinner.

so i know i need to make big improvements on eating ENOUGH cuz if i dont i BINGE. well ill check back later :)
 
Yeah, don't worry about that 'fast gain' weight. You ever watch MTV food eating contest thing? Where they weigh you before and after you eat TONS of food? (yuch...) I never imagine that food can be so heavy! orz...
 
You're doing great Mary, don't worry about the scale so much and weigh yourself weekly. It makes those fast gain/loss experience not as measurable and gives you a better idea of progress. Also weigh in the same time of day since weight fluctuates incredibly throughout the day.

Missy
 
Merry Christmas Everyone! I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday :) I had a great time with family and i kind of threw away all my rules for 2 days...i baked all day on sunday and i ate alot by testing my new recipes haha and then of course when i figured out that they were good...i had more :rolleyes: but it was a great time and i know ill just hit the gym a little harder and im not going to sit around regretting the extra calories like the old me.

Tomorrow ill be back with my daily diary.....night :)
 
thank u!!!!!

So i was at the gym this morning and i was doing some reps with free wieghts and a woman comes over and informs me that i am not in the right form....my wrists were bent back and i was doing the chest presses over my head instead of over my chest, she then informs me that she is a personal trainer and she cant help but help people out when she sees the wrong form....so we end up talking 20 min about listening to your body and using your own body weight as resistance as a good workout (push ups, dips) and how to eat from the earth and not all that processed junk. In that 20 min i was truly inspired. Then she told me she was 50 years old...and i couldnt believe it. this woman looked 35 at the most and was absolutly beautiful...her skin was so clear and glowing and her body was amazing...and she had 3 kids. i couldnt believe it i was speechless. I mean thats all the proof i need that a clean eating lifestyle and wieght training with cardio is the way to go....she truly inspired me to make changes it was amazing. and i am a new vegetarian which i know is contraversal and im not the type of vegetarian to put down meat eaters...its my choice...as well as its ure choice to eat meat. But the lady said she was a vegetarian and that just inspired me more because around the holidays i got a lot of criticism from family members and friends about not eating meat.

Anyway...my workout was great, i tried to listen to my body more during my workout and i noticed that by doing so, i push my body more....i find myself thinking about everything else BUT my workout and i notice i go more at a moderate pace. I lift weights for the motions and i dont listen to my muscles and i dont pay attention to my range of motion. I need to change this. :)
 
I know a lot of vegetarian said that it helps with the complexion and healthier etc.. but as much as i wanna look as good as that woman (or Alicia Silverstone whome i read in Shape), I just can't let go being carnivores T.T
 
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