Marissa's Diary

I don't know how many calories that came out to be because the sub I ate had no calorie content on it. I just feel like I've really messed up for the day. Maybe I haven't. But the feeling is still there. Gaining doesn't help the situation any either.
 
it's one day - keep going forward... and just make better choices your next meal... :)

a 12 inch roast beef sammich at Subway is only about 600 calories... so your sammich might not be as bad as you think...
 
I was just thinking that maybe I haven't messed up for the day, maybe I actually didn't do too bad. Its sooo possible. maybe today is a good day. I think what is really bothering me is that I don't have any calorie content on it so I don't know what I really had. Its crazy but its seriously bothering me. I should end the night in a good way and start again tomorrow. See where that takes me. What do you or anybody really do for exercise? I've been walking.
 
good for you for the change of mindset :)

walking has always been my exercise of choice... it's cheap, it's easy, and it's effective :) is a cool l ittle site that youo can map out your area to walk in - and it will tell you exactly how far you've gone...

in the exercise forum - there's also a really good thread entitled Workout - that gives a workout with weights that you might want to checkout
 
Pretty Grand...

So after my slight derailment yesterday, Today was surprisingly not too bad! I'm actually proud of how I did today. The true test is can I keep this up for the rest of the week, or forever for that matter. I know there are going to be days when I have dinner out. I know this I just wish the weight would come off alittle faster. Its such a slow tedious process. So far today I've had the following:

Cake w/ strawberries 185cal.
Slice of cheese 80cal
Hotdog with macaroni and cheese 480cal
Steak
Baked Potato 858cal

For a grand total of 1603 CALORIES. Yay! lol

I plan to have a slice of cheese for a snack later which would put me at 1683.

Today was a pretty good day I would say.
 
D-day Pt. 2

SO last night I slipped off the boat again. I ate a sandwich before I went to bed. I'm so depressed right now, only because I'm finding it so hard to stay motivated. To stay in tune with my diet. I don't want to exercise, I don't want to diet anymore but I want to lose weight how is that possible? I want a reward but don't want to work for it. Its sad. Very sad. Today I had about 1800 calories. But I've done no exercise. I have weights but I don't really know how to use them so they're usless to me. I know what to do with them I just don't know how many. Usually I stop when I feel the burn in my arms. But I never wake up with that ahh I had a good work out I can feel it in my arms sensation. Its really hard to stay motivated right now, I don't know why. I don't feel that well, I'm tired. I don't want to do this, but then again why throw away the weight I've already lost? What can I do?
 
Take a deep breath and relax...

I totally understand the frustration....

as for the weights question - pop into the harsh truth section and ask the question there - or check out the Workout thread in the exercise forum - that question might be there.

the weighs I use - depending on wat I'm doing - i will do 2 -3 sets of 8- 10 reps... making sure form is as important on the last set and i"m not wobbling.. :D


Don't diet... get rid of that word from your vocabulary - Diets fail.. you are changing your lifestyle -that is forevever and it wil take some time and patience to find that rhythym and what works for you -- slip ups are going to happen.. so what... keep going forward - don't beat yourself up for one slip up... just get back on track...

One step at a time -one meal at a time - just keep going forward

When I was at 383 - my daily calories were at about 2200 or so - sometimes more -sometimes a little less - and i still lost... so don't get too hung up on 1600 -t hat might be too low a number.
 
The frustration is horrible. I figured someone would understand. Its so tough but you're right, I have to take it one meal at a time. Thats actually a good idea I usually just think about the day as a whole and don't break it down. Its tough and I'm worried I'm going to keep gaining I weigh in weekly with a nutritionist who has me keep a food diary. I've been under a lot of stress lately my dad had a massive heart attack and so thats weighing on me. He's alright thank god. Maybe that has something to do with it. I don't know........
 
oh beleive me I absolutely do understand - i think the majority of people do.. :) it does get easier as time passes...

and stress does play a huge factor - is your nutritionist also having you write down your moods when you are eating - it might really give you some insight into why you are eating... and give some ideas as to work around it.
 
maleficent said:
oh beleive me I absolutely do understand - i think the majority of people do.. :) it does get easier as time passes...

and stress does play a huge factor - is your nutritionist also having you write down your moods when you are eating - it might really give you some insight into why you are eating... and give some ideas as to work around it.
Click to expand...



She does have a section where I can write my moods down. I usually don't though. No reason why, I actually should start writing my moods down. I know I usually eat when I'm depressed I think thats why I'm panicing as much as I am because I know that now I'm depressed I'll eat, I'm definately an emotional eater, and its a vicious cycle once I get started. So I have good reason to be alittle on the uptight side. I have to learn to control it some how.
 
Nope you don't have to learn to live with being uptight -:) Im an uptight pain in te ass trust me youo don't want to be like that :)

but a way of chanelling those emotions into something positive would be better and way of dealing with and getting rid of the stress - without eating...

that can be a hobby youo find relaxing, going for a walk, getting one ofthose paddles with the rubber ball attached to it and smacking the crap out of it :) lots of things - even coloring or playdough - somehing to keep your hands busy and allowing your "inner child" to come out and play.
 
I surprisingly like to color.. lol thats funny I'm sure that won't scare any one in the house I'm 20 years old and coloring like a fiend.. but hey its better than eating! Thats for sure.. you're full of wonderful ideas! I like to see you reply to my post because I know there will be useful information. :)
 
When I travelled - I always had in my suitcase a handful of coloring books that were designed for adults (amazon sells them and has some really cool ones) and colored pencils -I always wondered what the housekeeping staff owuld think when they'd come in to my room adnt ehre'd be a containe of playdough, coloring books, a yoyo and a few other toys :) I know airport security used to be not amused :)
 
Today....

I had an alright day. I think. I had pizza today that was a bigggg no no, but I'm working through it, I'm actually wondering if I should just wait until monday and start on monday. Maybe then I would have two days to clear my head figure out whats holding me back. It seems like every time I want to have a good day I always eat something I'm not supposed to like pizza. I've done so well so far why the sudden fall off the weight loss train. This war is so tough. I say that everyday but its the truth at this point. I need a 12 step program OR something!
Oy vey! I need something I need motivation to do this! I'm going to go look up motivation. Here's what I ate today:

Banana for breakfast 109 cals
pizza for lunch 800 cals
Cube steak for dinner 800 cals
swiss rolls for a snack 220 cals

for a grand and I do mean grand total of 1929 calories. Too many.
but not as overboard as I thought.

I try to keep my calories between 1200-1800

thats a big median but some days I might only eat 1300 calories and other days I eat 1800. So what can I say. Today was just okay!

some one give me some motivation!
 
well i think you actually did good in calories :) and you should probably stick to that higher level. as for pizza, you can have pizza, just plan it and try not having it too often. don't deny yourself any food.
 
Hey Marissa,
I am sure you can do it! I am one of the people that don't even weigh the weight you want to lose, but I think it is soooo impressing that you have already lost so much weight, that although you have an injury you still keep going and that you really want to change. I think I would not be able to do that. I am changing my lifestyle now, because I am afraid of BIG things, so a small change will be easier for me, but I admire everyone like you, that is not afraid of trying hard and change!

I think you can do it, maybe find yourself some food you didn't know but learn to love (I was not a big fan of cucumbers but I know they are almost all water and good for me and now I have learned to like them) and tryo to exchange food you know is not good for you for the one that is.

My new trick is, when I see something I feel like eating (especially in the shops or in the streets) I pinch my fat. That reminds me why I am doing this!
And remember: you can do it!! If you already lost 58 pounds, then you have showed yourself and everyone else that you can!!

Love, xxMilaxx
 
Sunday 4/15/07

After reading some of my book "Love Hunger" I'm begining to understand the reasons why I overeat. I'm doing well today. I've stayed in my calorie range. I've measured everything I've eaten. Its been a really good day. I'm happy with myself for once. I've also been inspired to stay in my range because I'm Insulin Resistant (any one else?). Weight loss can change that. I'm learning a little bit about myself daily. So today I've had:

Breakfast:
2 eggs
sausage
hashbrowns
english muffin
total: 590calories

Lunch:
Reeses Snack Bar
Cantaloupe
total: 167calories

Dinner:
Pork Roast
Mashed Potatoes
Green beans
Cantaloupe
Roll
total: 569calories

For a grand total of 1326calories, 41g of fat

I think I did pretty good today. I'm really excited, hopefully tomorrow I can do the same thing keep on track!

My BMI went from 74 when I was 448lbs, down to 64 now at 390lbs. wooo thats a lot it pains me to type those numbers......good that it went down though. lol
 
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Old Stories...

I've been really thinking about a few months back. I had gone to get an x-ray with my boyfriend. He was the one actually getting the x-ray. We went and sat down in the waiting room, and a couple of girls and guys were all in there together. Well as soon as I walked in they start snickering making rude comments about me. I felt so belittled,embarassed and most of all scared. Ever been scared by someone making snide remarks about you? My boyfriend who said he'd always kick someones butt if they made remarks about me infront of him he sat there with his head down. Sometimes people have told me I'm imagining it that its not really happening, and he was one of them, you're imagining it they're not talking about you. But finally he saw that I was never imagining it that it was the truth. Of course by now after 20 years I'm used to the jokes and the remarks about how fat I am. I'm used to it. I was made fun of all through school,finally my mom took me out and I was homeschooled. I guess you never really get used to it, but all I can do is just cry about it. And that helps me none but makes me depressed. I'm depressed today, thinking about that I've brought it on myself but I've been working with a psychcologist (sp?)about moving on but I guess today is just a bad day. I know I need to get up and exercise but I just don't feel like it, I just don't feel like doing anything really. I really needed to put this down and maybe this might help someone else. I guess this has no relevance to anything but it makes me feel better. I'll write later about how my eating went today. THE DAY'S NOT OVER YET! I just might get some exercise in after all........................
 
Today...pt.2

Today is going okay.

I had a minor slip up but otherwise Okay, I'm not getting down on myself about it I need to keep on trucking on. I had:

Breakfast:
Eggs
Bacon
Toast
Calories: 340

Lunch:
Pizza

Calories: 600


Dinner:
Sloppy Joes
Fries
Calories: 559

My slip up was half of a steak and cheese sub, which I had before dinner.
I don't know what the calories are thats why I didn't put it up there.
Oh well tomorrow is a better day. *Hopefully* Short one today guys, don't have much time but I wrote a huge entry earlier hopefully that makes up for the lack there of.........
 
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