Marilyn's food plan and life plan

Hi,

Back to the food plan. The first day of a food plan is difficult. Yesterday I ate cottage cheese and fruit all day, as much as I wanted. The day after the first day of a food plan is usually easier to cope with.

I feel incapable of eating normally. I have to either eat only a few items (such as cottage cheese, pbj, fruit veggies), or I overeat. Thai food, for example. Last week that triggered my off-the-plan eating.

Every time I think about eating, I need to ask myself, "do you want to be thin?" If so, I must support that goal with the behavior that will make it happen.

I gained a pound from my little deviation from my food plan.

I must lose weight. I must look better.

M
 
Back to the plan. Am eating sparingly and it has decreased the hunger/appetite.

I started wearing men's pants about a month or two ago. I had been lamenting at the poor state of my pants (not fitting.) I picked up my hubby's pants thinking they could not fit anyworse, they actually looked better. Fortunately we wear the same size.

He wants to acquire my pants (6-7 new pairs of nice pants) and I negotiated that he can have them after he loses 10 pounds. By that time I should be down a size. It's amazing how easy it is to find pants that fit for men. They're all long enough!! I'm 5'10."

I am getting close to needing smaller pants! What a shock. Wow. I should look at my regular pants to see what I can now wear. I want to buy nice pants. Most men's pants like Dockers etc., on sale they are 20-30 $. I should allow myself to buy 3-4 nice pairs of well fitting pants, even if I might not be at that weight long... I feel guilty spending $ on something that I might not use much.

M
 
Down a size

Hi,

I am on the verge of needing smaller pants!! Now I have to decide if I want to buy men's pants (which fit better), I think I should because they fit so much better. I feel badly about not wearing my old pants. If I buy 3 pairs of pants in the lower size, that is not much $$. I deserve good fitting pants, I'm just going to buy them. I'm not sure why I'm so hung up on not buying smaller pants.......

I am seriously wanting a tummy tuck and a general cosmetic tune up. I'm 42 almost and have never had a flat belly, even when I weighed 125 pounds. (I'm tall.) I might want to put $ in a health care spending account to save on taxes. I will be committed if I put in $$. If I get something done, I should just do everything that I want at one time. I don't think I will do another cosmetic procedure due to risks.

My food is very good. I am super good at eating "nothing" or eating "everything." Right now I am eating about 1000 cal daily. I need to keep dancing because I think it helps a lot.

M
 
more ramblings....

My food plan is going well. I'm on the eating light phase right now. I am so determined to lose weight. I don't care what I have to do to do it.

I'm probably going to buy pants today. (Smaller..... not larger like the past 5 years.) In the past few years, I just bought pants that were larger and kept getting higher and higher numbers.

It is amazing to me that anyone would be interested in my journal, but it is so flattering....1300 people have clicked on my journal. I hope that my writing about my struggles might be helpful to someone. I look forward to journaling. I have journaled since teenhood but have never shared a journal with others. I have had thoughts about people looking on line to see what I write. The content I include is not too personal, meaning I would only tell in my journal what i would say in person, i.e., my little bout with ipecac. (The ipecac story is humorous in retrospect but gross. This posting is back about a year or so ago. Hopefully I won't have to "buy" anyone's silence. :) I do feel a little ashamed of my food issues, especially the serious overeating (like 10 haagen daz bars in 1-2 days) and the ipecac situation. Feeling a little shame is really silly. My problems pale in comparison to others, not that I should measure myself against others. In the scope of my life, my food issues are not my worst problem, unfortunately. It's probably good that I explore these food issues.

I love reading mother people's journals, the ones where people write about life regarding weight/food issues.

This board is super-great.

M
 
Last night I went out line dancing. I had long island iced teas. I drank a ton of calories. I wanted to numb out a bit and decided to drink to help with that. It is not a good idea.

Last week on Oprah, they had several guests who had overeaten and were very overweight. After one person was able to get a grasp on food, she started drinking up to 12+ drinks daily. Apparently sometimes people beat one problem then cope with it a different way.

My hope is that I will not develop a new bad addiction to replace with my food overeating. What I need to do is replace the "rewards" of overeating (relaxation, satiety, gratification) with something positive, like dance.

M
 
Tonight I went to a friend's house for dinner. There were a lot of low cal foods so I did pretty well.

We had fried tofu, I came home and made some more. After looking at how much oil is used, it is not really economical with calorie intake.

Tonight I did a little repetative movement while I watched tv. I do steps forward, then backward. It's easy to zone out to the tv when I do this. I should do this more often.

Currently pineapple cottage cheese is a new staple in my diet. It's tasty and pretty low cal. I like those little one serving cottage cheeses, 140 cal each, they come with fruit to mix in. This is untra easy and no work. Convenience is extremely important to me. Especially when I'm hungry.
 
early day eating

Hi,

I can go hour and hours before eating in the early day. This is not ideal, what I do is to eat strawberries or banana then start real food later. This works for me.

ONe of the things that helps me eat at home is having food already here. I have a lot of frozen meats. Turkey burgers can be bought singly wrapped. Also a pork chop, frozen tofu (crumbled "meat").

I really like the tofu products called meal-starters. I went to Albertsons about 2 weeks ago, they had all their tofu products for 50% off. I bought 5 different products and they are GREAT! If I had known how good they were I would have filled my cart all the way up. At 50% off they are about 2.50 each. Next time.

Late night eating is a challenge for me. I get appetitey and want to eat and eat. It is very difficult to resist.
 
Dance. Tonight some older friends are going to dinner. My dance lesson is at 4:00 which is the time of the dinner. I emailed and told them I canot go but would be interested in meeting after. I hope they meet me dancing. I feel very selfish not going. I burn off so many calories from dance that it is very important.

My friends birthday celebrations are very important to them. I feel very guilty that I'm not going. It is very difficult to watch out for myself sometimes.
 
I have the hungries. I made the mistake of making pasta with marinara sauce and tofu. Since I cooked it I have been craving....I should not have it in the house. It will send my eating out of control.
 
Well, what is today?

I am procrasting food prep today. I have frozen pork chop that needs cooking but am dragging feet. If I am every fabulously wealthy I will have a chef come in twice a week to prepare food, (but not when my masseuse is here), (not when my manicurist is here), (or my trainer.)

I would prefer just to take cottage cheese to work instead of real food. I do need to eat real food though. I need to get off my butt.

I am wearing size 32/32 pants. They are very snug. I have decided to wear tight pants to remind me that I need to get slim enough to wear comfortably.

My old jeans 33/34 are so tight I have to lay on the bed to put them on. :)

I am determined to lose at least 10 more pounds. That will put me at 142 pounds. I don't want to be a purple cow.
 
Hi,

I did well today foodwise. My bottom line is calorie consumption. I did sneak a few hundred of "bad" calories, but still am under with fairly good nutrition.

My mantra is "nothing tastes as good as thin feels."
Will I be happy in an hour, if I eat this? What about if I don't eat it.
It will taste good for 2 minutes, then I'll have to wear it forever.
One meal at a time.
One snack at a time.
One day at a time.

-----------------------------------------------

I decided that I need more things to drive me crazy. I bought a digital scale. I have a perfectly good one with a dial, but I want exact measurements. I am insane. This will drive me up the wall, every day I'll be on the scale. Fortunately, it only goes to 1/2 pound and not ounces. Whew!! I'll probably weigh myself 5 times a day. Just for fun.....:p

------------------------------------------
 
The woes of the scale.

Well, I tried my digital scale. It weighed me at 153.5, which is 2 1/2 pounds higher than my other scale. This is a form of torture. I have been looking at a way to go back into my weight history to modify prior readings too.

Woe is me. My life is so terrible. (This is in jest.)

Sometimes I feel so selfish having such "big problems" when there are people in the world who go to bed hungry. People sleep in the park. People are alone. Some people are dying. Some are disfigured. Others are destitute. Some are slaves. Others are on the verge of killing themselves.

I have such a good life. I am so fortunate for all the things I have (material) and the other things (not material). There are not a lot of things I can do for other people financially. When I go through my life, I try to be as kind and giving as I can.

On the scale of problems, my little weight issues pale when compared to others.
 
I was right. My digital scale will drive me crazy. I'm a pound heavier than yesterday. Water weight and other things affect weight. Probably after a while I will see a down-ward trend and will be ok. I should not even be weighing myself daily. My calories yesterday were about 1000.

From day to day I have thoughts about going off my plan. What helps me the most is to realize that I don't have to worry about tomorrow, just today.

I have been talking with a co-worker who had a tummy tuck, she is very happy and said it is one of the best things she has ever done for herself. I am so on the edge. The one thing I don't know, I can have a healthcare spending account at work and have pre-tax $. I need to find out for sure if this would be something for a tummy tuck or breast reduction, we have "Creative Benefits". Do any of you know? I live in California.
 
Tonight my hub and I are going out for dinner with his family. It will be a precarious journey. Drinks, appetizers, steak, cheese bread.

My plan is to have 2 bites of an appetizer (if there are any). I will have a serving of meat and will ask for a substitute for anything obscenely calorie laden. With dessert, if there is any, I will have 2 bites only. I think I can do this.

It is so funny, I usually love going out for food but I feel a slight annoyance. If I had my druthers, I'd take my cottage cheese with strawberries and have that instead.

I need to lighten up.

I feel myself obsessing again about numbers on the scale. I have got to lose weight before I get discouraged. I know that water weight.....food intake....menstrual changes.....all add up and cause daily fluctuations.

We just got invited for lunch of pizza.....the gauntlet begins. We are going to pass on the pizza. :) Usually I'd be driving like a maniac to make sure there would be some left. :)
 
I have been feeling guilty for eating too much during the day. I am at about 1200 calories so I have no need to feel guilty. I think it has something to do with that darn digital scale I bought. Somehow I expect to see it go down every day, but it only weighss to 1/2 pound increments. Realistically, I should lose 1-2 pounds weekly. My idea of going down daily is very flawed.

Today I feel anxious about not wanting to eat too much so tomorrow I'll see a difference on the scale.

Weighing myself once weekly can be problematic too because sometimes things go up instead of down.

The woes of being heavy...
 
Marilyn. I read through your whole diary. I understand, to a point, how you feel. I have tried and falied many times, and am trying yet again. I've adopted the attitude of Thomas Edison, I believe. It goes something like this: "No, I haven't failed. I just know 10,000 ways to not loose weight and keep it off.". I'm still looking for the right one.

That said, you have to give yourself a LOT of forgiveness. I mean a lot. You have to love you. I know, it sounds like a platitude, maybe it is, but I believe it. I have also come to realize that I have to be in the present moment always.

I get by on my plan 1 meal at a time. I weigh on goal dates. My next weigh-in will be on Thanksgiving Day. Not before!

Yes, sometimes it is very difficult to resist the temptations. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't, but I get back up and try to pull it in line for the next meal. Forgiving my self for the slip. In this way, I don't give up. Sure, I have goals for the future, but once I set them, I execute 1 meal at a time.

A doctor once told me to throw away the scale. He said that if I was satisfied with my body and my clothes fit well, that was all that was needed. He did suggest that I get down to a size 36 waist. I did. I actually got down to 34. That was probably about 15 years ago. Today, I'm a size 48, but looking for 36 again. I've got a long way to go, but all that exists in front of me is that next meal, and then, only when I am preparing it.

Tomorrow, next week, next month, doesn't exist. Give yourself a little lovin' for the small success that you had today or the last meal. Congratulate yourself for the good that you did in preparing "this" meal. Give yourself a big pat on the back for taking the stairs, parking at the back of the lot, walking on the treadmill, or saying no to that evil tempting donut. You need a lot more praise from yourself rather than the lashings that you've been giving yourself.

Weight is simply a number. It does not represent who you are.

Kind regards,

Paul
 
Hi Destination,

Thanks for your comments. You are so right, I have been told that self-love and foregiveness is something I need to improve. The # of pounds for weight should not be a focus....I'm just obsessed with it now. :-(

Good luck to you on your journey.

Marilyn
 
So, what would happen if you let go of the obsession? Would you disappear? Would you dissolve? Would life end? I know that it is not quite as simple as that, but sometimes, things actually are.

I have serious cravings for fatty foods and sometimes, sweets. My son, who is 14, and very muscular and fit, has a nickname: "Cookie Monster". He loves cookies! We keep some in the house, most times. They are on the self. They seem to call me, but I don't partake of even one of them because I know that one will lead to two, which will lead to six, etc.

I just ignore them. When I start thinking about them, I go and find something else to do. So, perhaps when you start thinking about hopping on that scale, find something else to do. Some little chore that you've put off. Perhaps go for a walk, if it's practical at that time. Toss the scale!!!
 
I looked in the mirror today, after my bath. The image in the mirror was not bad. I can really see some differences.

I'm having some marital issues and am having food difficulty. I will go back on my food plan Monday. It might be good to have food holidays to keep my metabolism revved up.

M
 
I am considering a rotation diet. After reading a bit, it seems that metabolism slows after 3 days of very low cal. I know there are things to counteract it. I also read that metabolism slows after 3 weeks. This stuff is so inexact.

A rotation diet was "discovered" about 20-30 years ago. The diet is 600 cal for 3 days, then up to 900 I think for a week......

I am thinking about going to about 1200, then to 1600......and bounce around. The only thing is I have to committ PRIOR to the plan. I think 600-900 cal is a little low.

My favorite food item I discovered is cottage cheese with berries. Fresh strawberries, or frozen berries. I use a packet of nutrasweet to sweeten up the berries. Delicious.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top