Marilyn's food plan and life plan

Hi,

Today I am sick, have chest pain from coughing and sneezing.

The good thing is that nothing tastes very good so I am having less trouble than average with my food.

I have considered a tummy tuck for a long time. My concern is the operative and recuperative safety. Serious side effects and death are rare. The other thing is that post operative discomfort would be a while due to incisions. Scarring does not bother me. It would be wonderful to have a flat tummy for the first time in my life. I carry most of my weight on my belly. I am losing weight, which I think would be essential for a good outcome. A few days ago I was wanting to have a consult and schedule asap.

I don't think I will ever be happy with my body, even if I looked like a supermodel....I think my body is ok/acceptable. I often compare others bodies with mine. I need to be happy with my body without comparing with others. Big task.
 
I need to be happy with my body without comparing with others. Big task.
Click to expand...

I think that's a big task of mine as well. Can definitely relate. It's a huge self-esteem thing that a lot of us have to work on.
 
One thing that has been very helpful to me has been to "behave my way to success." That is a Dr. Phil quote. Example, last night I wanted to pick up food from a Persian restaurant. Instead, I went to the store and got an already cut up bowl of fruit, cottage cheese, a small skirt steak. The food at the restaurant would have had tons of oil, which tastes great. When I was at the store, I walked by the Haagen Daz and drooled but went away. My restraint was admirable (if I do say so myself.) It is so easy for me to get into food trouble, such as buying a 10 pack of ice cream bars and eating only "one." I have to keep it out of the house with no exceptions.

Sometimes it is easy to stay on the program, sometimes not.

There are not many things that I want more, than to be thin. I know how to do it and must just behave my way.

M
 
To eat or not to eat. I have lost 10 pounds in a month which is exceptional, I usually lose about 1 pound weekly. I have been doing line dancing which I think has helped rev my metabolism. Since I've been in my 35+ losing weight has been such a struggle. I don't know what is so different this time. Can the line dance really help that much?


Line dance is so fun, it makes me happy and makes me smile. I have new friends too which is a bonus.

M
 
hunger/appetite late

Hi,

I can go many hours in the beginning of the day without eating. I always eat something right after I awake, to boost my metabolism. On days when I eat more food early in the day, I am ravenous all night. If I eat sparingly at the beginning and middle of day, I'm usually ok appetite/hunger.

I wish I could find a way to keep my appetite/hunger down all the time. It is difficult.

Last night my husband pointed out to me that we have chocolate chips in the house. I had him hide them last night. I called him at work to find out where they were. I just got chocolate chips and ate an ounce of them today. I know this is not the end of the world but I do not want to put this in my body becuase eating chocholate chips can set off a whole domino effect for my food.

I am good at all or nothing. Moderation is difficult. I know that moderation with everything is more balanced but I am not wired that way.

We have to get rid of the chips or they'll taunt me and I'll eat them. I don't want to throw them away, but it's not good for me to eat them.

Sometimes I am so weak. If I go off my food plan, I'll go back to eating Hagen Daz......chips......candy bars....everything and I'll put on the 10 pounds I have lost.

I cannot afford to slip back. My weight is the main thing that I am unhappy about currrently. I cannot live in this overweight sagging body. I HAVE TO get down to less than 140 pounds. If I do not do so in the next few months, I don't know what I'll do. My body is very unattractive to me. If I were thinner my body would be more acceptable to me.

I feel almost desparate about needing to lose weight I do not feel good about how I look in clothes, or out of clothes.

I think my perception of my body is harsh. Others do not see me the way I see myself. I think I might have a little distortion of how I view my body.
 
overeating

Hi,

The past 2 days I have been craving. Yesterday, red meat. Had steak and hamburger yesterday (with moderate caloric value.)

Today ate everything such as cottage cheese, two one ounce servings of chocolate chips....melon...chicken, grapes.... Did not binge or go crazy with food but overate......

I just have regret that I overate because I know it will slow down my weight loss. Oh well.... I need to be lenient with myself rather than a task-master. I am just so disappointed in my food eating. My agony over the food increase today is so out of proportion to the incident.

Back on target tomorrow. Tomorrow am having lunch in a restaurant. I know I'll be offered food too many times and will over-eat. I feel resentful about the imagined pressure I will feel.

I need to just not eat too much. It's kind of simple.

I feel out of balance with food right now. I feel upset about my food intake. I am sure I didn't eat more than 2000 calories today which is not horrible.

It is late at night and I think I'm just over-thinking the situation. Tomorrow when I awake, I'm sure I will feel more balanced. I think this problem feels out of proportion tonight because I'm tired. I also think I'm so focused on the weight loss that any slight back-step feels huge.

Instead of being focused on the number on the scale, I should focus on feeling good and eating healthily.....

M
 
Today was a better food day. Not as many cravings until now. Still need calories for today. I do not want to eat more, I am probably at about 600 for today....not enough. Better than yesterday.

M
 
My weight is still coming down. I am concerned I will hit a plateau and get discouraged. The first month weight loss has been fabulous, 10 pounds. That is unreal.

My body is changing also. My belly is flatter and my clothes are hanging on me. I'll have to go to my older (smaler) pants again!!

M
 
Getting dressed is better. My pants actually hang a little bit and I need to decide if I want to go down a pant size. This is a nice change.

My food is going well. When I am at work, I eat far less than if I am at home. At work, there are hazards such as candy and pastries. I keep a tight rein on these things.

I feel more positive about my body, it does not look as hideous as it has looked lately.

I feel much better than last week, my flu has almost completely subsided.

My life is so much better today than 5-10 years ago. Maturity and ageing has helped me immensely. A few things that used to bother me, just roll off my back like water on a rain coat. Things do not feel personal as they used to.

Lately I have had a hard time finding food to take to work or to eat at home. I do not prepare food that often. My pineapple cottage cheese is a great, no cook, no preparation mini-meal, and it is inexpensive also. Fresh fruit is a good standby also.

I feel positive and feel good.

M
 
i'm very happy for you. i was reading over your posts and it looks like you were definitely thinking about food way too much in the beginning. doing that is a sure way to fail, because it will cause extreme reactions to the results you do or dont get-trust me i know. i have starved myself to get thin and it worked, but i'm back in the 160's now. i wracked my brain (still do) every day because i was obsessing about how much i was going to fail and how much i wouldnt be able to hold it together. that is what killed me, what i do now is make sure to realize one thing: IT ISNT THAT HARD TO SAY NO- we are just making it into a bigger deal than it really is. people say no-I am not going to have that brownie every day, therefore we can do it. just walk away. plus make sure to realize that one slip does not mean you fall all the way, ya you screwed up, but it is one day in a plan that will last much longer-so keep it up!


by the way are you persian?
 
Hi Fsa,

Thanks for your post and your support. It is so helpful to have others on the team.

I am a caucasian american, but was married to a Persian man for several years in the 90's. Are you Persian? Persian food is dangerous to me and I can't have it in the house because I gobble it up. I LOVE Persian food. Cooking Persian was not something I could pick up despite my efforts.

Today I am concerned that I will plateau with my weight loss. This first month was so successful. I am worried I will get discouraged if I don't lose another 10 pounds in a month.

What I need to start doing now is to dance every night or do my exercise routine in front of the tv. I think this made a big difference for me. My excuse of not having energy because of being sick, is no longer valid.

I can't wait to lose the next 10.

I am considering a tummy tuck pretty seriously. That would be a nice reward when I get to my goal weight.

M
 
Hi Marstro.

Don't get too down about your food intake. Just take it one step at a time. To reduce cravings drink a lot water. Also, as soon as you get a craving put your mind toward something else, you'll be surprised how fast your cravings go away.

And congrats on your 10lbs weight loss!! Don't get too discouraged if you don't lose the same amount next month. Anyway weight loss is better than none at all.

:)
 
Hi Marilyn,
This is the first time I've stopped in at your diary (I don't know what took me so long!)

It sounds like you're doing great - but don't get too focused &/or hard on yourself if you don't lose 10 pounds every month. I've had some great -10lb months, and some where I could barely lose 5 - the point and truest measure is the steady downward progression of that scale.

And even then, it's not the "truest measure"...actual inches lost, how are clothes fit, is it time to buy a smaller size?, our skin, endurance, overall health...I can go on and on...

The pounds will drop over time - just keep doing what you're doing :)
 
Today is a new day. My food cravings and appetite for food have changed a bit. There are some times that I WANT veggies and fruit. What a change!

My cravings have been very mild in general, with a few exceptions.

The thoughts I have about food are different. I think of food as "gas" and now think about what my nutritional needs are, rather than what is fast, inexpensive......

What I can't seem to understand is that 15 years ago, I used to think of food in the way I now do. I ate sparingly for many many years and I was a little too thin then. I did not eat any sugar of any type. I didn't have $ to buy food.

When I finished school and had some money to buy food, things changed. Haagen Daaz, candy bar, frozen dessert, chips.....drive through food.

I am still in a position to buy what I want in the store. Now I usually buy fruits that are a little more expensive, rather than the dessert items.

The 100 calorie snack packs are great (oreos and wheat thins).
Already prepared pudding and yogurt also are about 100 calories per serving.

I am dabbling in tofu. There are some veggie burgers, corndogs, crumbled meat substitutes that I am trying. I also bought edemamme at Trader Joes, it comes frozen, it is boiled in water for 5 minutes and salted. It is a good meal substitute if I don't want to cook.

My habits are becoming stronger.

It is interesting that now I don't understand why I would buy a 10 pack of Hagen Daz and eat all of them in 1-2 days.

This attitude adjustment has been long in coming. It has been a combination of many things. Keeping the environment (kitchen) in condition where it supports goals. Consciously thinking about food as fuel. Consciuosly thinking about nutritional needs.

I am so positive right now, I almost feel high. This is great!
 
It is time for me to eat crow, which I guess is on my food plan....baked but not fried.

Earlier today I was blabbing on about how easy it was to stay on target.....blah blah......how it is becoming a habit....not eating but fueling my body....blah blah.........

Well, I made the mistake of ordering Thai food. I decided to order chicken curry, veggies and pad thai. I had seconds and then thirds. It didn't stop there. I decided that since I had blown it, I should have a snack size little candy bar...then 2, 3, 4.....

Then I decided to make myself throw up. Not successful despite efforts. This is crazy. The urgency to vomit was so strong and persistent. I was not successful. The food is still in me adding little fat cells.

I re-realized that I can diet. I can eat cottage cheese for 3 weeks, can have a peach for lunch. Once I try to eat NORMAL food that tastes good, it all goes out the window. I get so hungry/appetite and I eat and eat, once I eat the ball rolls down the hill it gets too big and I can't catch it.

Why can't I eat moderately and normally? This is a curse. I have struggled with this for 25 years. This is one of the few curses I have been blessed with.

I do not want to weigh myself. I probably put myself back 2 days of dieting. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If only I could get rid of the food in my belly, I would feel much better. I know that this is a bad idea. I know how harmful purging is. I just want to get rid of the food.

Well, I think I'll try to eat crow for a few days, baked not fried. :)

M
 
Marilyn!! Sooo sorry to hear that things didn't go so well tonight.

In terms of dieting you have to think second by second, its a constant battle with yourself to not dive into temptations. But we're all human and we all have setbacks and make mistakes.

I don't think you should eat JUST a peach for lunch or cottage cheese for 3 weeks straight, (if that's what you're planning). Just start normally again tomorrow, eat good food within your calorie range, and move on from what happened. Don't beat yourself up about it, and try not to purge because, as you already know, its not good for your body. :(

Hope all goes well. Wish you the best.
 
Eating my words

All I can say is that I blew it. Tomorrow is a new day.

I am incapable of eating normally. I either overeat or undereat. I probably am bulimic except I cannot physically make myself vomit. I can eat cottage cheese for lunch, a peach for a snack......

When I get normal food like Thai food, Indian food.....I have difficulty with moderation.

Why?? I have food issues.

I want so much to be thin and to love my body. I will never be free of the curse of food.

My last few posts were so self assured that I was easily making it work.

I want to be a "loser" (weight) not a "loser" (failure.)

m
 
Hi Marilyn,
Just wondering how you're doing... I hope better. Food is such a challenge for all of us, but I know you're strong enough to beat it, and triumph, hang in there!!
 
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