Makaren's diary

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Makaren said:
That's the secret -- self awareness. As long as I eat healthy and don't overeat on junk, I think I'll be okay. And I can jump back on to the tracking for an occasional spot check. The best proof that I'm doing okay is that the scales finally budged this morning and I'm another pound down. Woohoo!
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Oh, well done! :)
 
Congratulations on a pound lost!
 
This week has been less about weight loss and more about handling my feelings about my life in general. I'm ten months from my husband's passing. We were married for 50 years, so it's a very big change in lifestyle. I'm not severely depressed and not able to function. What I'm dealing with is more subtle -- a sadness for what I won't have again. I have people around me who are wonderful support but this is something that I need to work out internally. The fact that I can control my eating at all is a signal to me that I'm moving through it but slowly. I've added meditation to the mix and that seems to be a big help. I can do a lot of positive self talk directly to the brain. It's like the difference between getting an injection into the muscle and one into the vein. I had a session this morning and came out of it feeling more centered and ready to face the day. Sorry for sending this into more of a bereavement thread but that's where I am right now.
 
Please don't apologise for anything that you put into your own diary. I feel this forum is as much about getting healthy, both physically & mentally, as it is to do with weight-loss.
I think it is really admirable that you are controlling your eating & are working your way towards making a new life without your husband. I have been with my husband since I was 18. I can't imagine my life without him :grouphug:
 
Absolutely what Cate said. Please use this place exactly as much and in exactly the ways which are most helpful to you. You are amazing to be able to do what you're doing after such a huge loss. :grouphug:
 
Thank you for your kind support. It's nice to be able to state where I am openly. I think I could do okay if it weren't for the mood swings. I have them so much I should be able to count them for exercise.
 
Makaren said:
I think I could do okay if it weren't for the mood swings. I have them so much I should be able to count them for exercise.
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My younger son would appreciate the humour in that as he has bipolar 2.
Actually, I appreciate that too & will use it soon.
Keep taking good care of yourself, Makaren. I hope the sadness lessens. I'm not even faintly religious, but I feel I carry parts of my sister's soul around with me. She died just over 14 years ago & when I think of her now I smile. She was special. Sending you another hug if you would like one :grouphug:
 
I love group hugs. Thank you. Today was a pretty good day so I guess it all evens out. I know my husband is still watching over me and I see his influence from time to time.
 
I'm still here. The last couple of weeks have been....interesting. I'll leave it at that. Suffice to say I'm concentrating on eating and being healthy.
 
Hi, Makaren. Interesting is an interesting word. What do you think of this or that, you ask. "Interesting" Hmmm:rolleyes:
I'm glad you are concentrating on eating and being healthy whatever is happening. :)
 
:seeya: Just saying hello and sending good wishes. Hope that the eating you're concentrating on has got foods you really enjoy in it!
(Sometimes it can get pretty tricky finding something that hits the spot between:
- really enjoyable
- being healthy
- being affordable, and
- available! )
 
Makaren said:
I'm new to the forum and after several suggestions that I start a diary, here I am. My main goal is to get healthy and take off the weight I gained while being my husband's caregiver over a two year period. He passed away last fall and I find I'm in the situation of finding a new place in this world. We were married for 50 years, so being on my own is -- kind of weird. Years ago I had a bit of a crisis with my Type 2 diabetes and went on a healthier eating/exercise plan that allowed me to lose 110 lbs. Over the two years my husband was ill I regained 50 of them. Now that my knees are giving me trouble, I want to take those pounds back off. I keep a written diary that is very personal but maybe a thread here will help me feel less alone in my efforts.

After I retired my life mantra became "I refuse to do anything that is a pain in the a**". Food preparation falls into that. If I pay attention and do some planning, it isn't as hard as it sounds. I don't follow a particular "diet" because the moment I restrict a food or food type, that is ALL I want to eat. So I cut back, adjust recipes and portion control. At this point I have a limit of 1500 calories a day and I exercise in the pool at the Y three times a week. I've lost 8 lbs so far but have hit a small plateau that has lasted for a week so far. I know I have to just keep on keeping on. So ends my first entry.
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sorry about your husband. pls try to stay focused on your goals. am sure your late husband will be proud of you. God bless you lady.
 
This weekend has been a challenge. I'm kind of in a "see food" eating plan. Tomorrow I'll be trying to get back to it. I'm going through a not wanting to cook phase, which I do off and on. It's a little harder to eat well when I'm grabbing fast things but sometimes I fall back on nutrition shakes and bars.
 
Makaren said:
This weekend has been a challenge. I'm kind of in a "see food" eating plan. Tomorrow I'll be trying to get back to it. I'm going through a not wanting to cook phase, which I do off and on. It's a little harder to eat well when I'm grabbing fast things but sometimes I fall back on nutrition shakes and bars.
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That's tricky, the not wanting to cook - though it's still summer for you, maybe? Could you grab fruit for a quick snack? I was really surprised how much fuller I felt today when I followed my egg-and-toast with an orange (a nice big juicy orange!).
Or there's easy-eating veg, too - carrots are something good to chomp on, as are celery and to a lesser extent green beans.
Good luck with the rest of your weekend - and of course the week to come! :)
 
Makaren said:
I'm going through a not wanting to cook phase, which I do off and on.
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I was born in tht phase and it hasn´t ended yet but I´m practicing not saying/thinking it, hoping my brain will start believing I actually quite enjoy cooking :p I hope you get back to enjoying it, too! Maybe some new recipes could help?
 
I'm sure there would be worse things you could be eating than nutrition shakes & bars. Try not to be too hard on yourself xo
 
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