Madharri123's BALLOON diary! 100lbs to lose!

M

madharri123

New member
Hi (especially to any fellow ballooners - past, present or possibly future!)

I am a 30 year old community pharmacist from Kent.

Hmmmm - perhaps not the most inspiring of introductory sentences! It's just that for the last 14 years or so I've removed myself from social situations as much as possible so to be honest there's not an awful lot else to tell at the moment.

However, all this is about to change! I have booked myself in for a gastric balloon procedure on Mon 4th January. I wish I could have it done tomorrow!

I am 5'4" and exactly 16 stone (the absolute heaviest I have ever been) and I am under no illusions - it is simply because I eat way too much (a combination of bingeing, secret eating and no will power:banghead: and do no exercise. Sizewise I'm a tight 20. I am absolutely knackered all the time and so embarrassed!:blush5: And without meaning to come over all Victorian - I do worry that the whole marriage and kids thing is not going to be an option for me if I don't sort this out!

I realise I probably sound a bit of a misery :nopity:but actually I'm incredibly upbeat as I know things can only get better! Tomorrow I'm going to look at all the questions that the site recommends you answer as I think this will seem a bit unstructured when I read it back. Anyhoo - I'm sure I'll improve - we've all got to start somewhere!
 
Forum questions - the plan Stan

1. Answer these questions before starting your diary.

-- How much weight do you want to lose?

Well - I weigh 16stone 4 = 228 lbs - 104.5kg and I want to be 9stone 2 = 128 lbs = 58.5kg so I NEED TO LOSE 100 LBS :eek:

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?

Decided to give myself 40 weeks this includes:
3 weeks before the balloon is inserted
26 weeks while the balloon is in place
11 weeks after the balloon has been removed
so deadline date is Mon 20th September 2010

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?

Well Matthew I shall mostly be using my intragastric balloon (which I intend to call Barry) combined with the Lighterlife meal replacement programme. I'm also looking into hypnotherapy and counselling

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?

I have decided to tell NOBODY about this! Made the mistake of mentioning it to a nearesst and a dearest and then had to sit through " Whoa - don't you think that's a bit excessive? Why don't you just try and eat less and exercise more?" :banghead: TWICE!!:banghead: I thanked them both for their insight and understanding, told them they were quite right and went home and booked the procedure. This means that YOU (and Barry) are going to be my support!:hurray:

-- How realistic is your goal?

When one looks back over the steady (sometimes lurching) progress of my journey along the scales of time - the obvious answer is: not very. BUT - I am hoping that the fact that I've lied to everybody I know, secretly flown to Eastern Europe to pay a month's wages to people I've never met to put a balloon in my stomach for 6 months - even though all the literature I've read warns me that I will be violently sick for many days - will spur me on. I've tried everything else - spent thousands - and nothing's worked. Gotta try this.

40 weeks sould be on the upper end of ambitious if I was doing this the old fashioned way with willpower and whatnot BUT I'M NOT and think that all the advantages I@m hopefully giving myself means that the timeline is pretty much on the money.

-- When will you start?

All together now: TOMORROW! :smilielol5:
Monday 20th September is 40 weeks from tomorrow!
 
You go girl, We are the same weight and height and size....I am trying to loose weight and I look forward to hearing all about your journey...so keep posting sister ! Faithybaby xxx
 
Hi Faithbaby!

Hi Faithbaby! Thanks for the support! I'm gonna subscribe to your post - so make sure you keep posting too! I think you're so brave following your gut - I just don't trust my instincts with regards to food: if I'm not on a diet then I'm on a binge. Anyway - lets get cracking on our 1st 5lbs! (or 5%!) Goodnight from across the pond! xxx
 
Day 1 of Stage1

OK. Time to begin. In three weeks I will actually be in Prague having the balloon pushed down my throat! I CANNOT WAIT - it's just a shame I've got to get through all the time before!

I have decided to divide my 100lbs into 20 little chunks of 5 lbs. My weightloss is going to be split up into 3 stages as I already mentioned:

Stage1 - 3 weeks no balloon
Stage 2 - 26 weeks with balloon
Stage 3 - 11 weeks no balloon

Because of the different things happening at the different stages it is not going to be as simple as dividing 100 lbs by 40 weeks and saying that I need to lose 2.5 lbs a week.

I'm assuming that stage 2 is going to be the fastest rate of loss - followed by stage 3 - as hopefully I'll be in a better mindset having shed a LOT of poundage by then and my relationship with food will have improved due to the counselling and hypnotherapy I will have been using. So - I'm starting off at stage 1 - the hardest stage (feeling really bad about myself and no tools acquired yet). I also don't really believe I can lose weight on my own anymore.

Anyway the above rambling means that my goals are:

Stage 1 = 5 lbs (6 actually as I woke up and weighed a lb extra than I thought - 16:5 instead of 16:4:doh:)

Stage 2 =75 lbs (average of 3 lbs a week) [2.885 if being a nerd about it]

Stage 3 = 20 lbs (average of 2 lbs a week) [1.82 if being a nerd about it]

So STAGE 1 that I am on for the next 3 weeks has to mean I lose 2 lbs a week. This will give me a psychological advantage of getting down into the next stone and crossing off one of 20 5lb chunks.
There are 5 rules I think I should aim for right now:

1 - Drink at least 2 litres of water a day (I'm pretty dehydrated and constipated (sorry TMI!) a the moment - will try and have a mug of hot water with lemon every morning and night)
2 - Sleep for 8 hours a day
3 - Stick to 28 WWs points
4 - Go swimming twice a week
5 - Incorporate at least 3 portions of fruit and veg per day
I know that steps 4 and 5 are really quite far below what I should be aiming for - but they're a big improvement for me and they'll give me a springboard to improve again from. I'm not even sure I'll manage step 4 to be honest.

My general plan for today's food intake is:

Shit I've already had 6
Bran flakes 100g 4
Milk skimmed 1
Banana 2
Raisins 2
Pumpkin seeds 30g 2
Ready meal [8 points to play with] - fresh vege soup would be an idea
Mullerlite 1
Blueberries 200g 2

I'll write down what I actually end up having later on when I get back from work (working late tonight - hence the need for a readymeal)

I'm actually feeling positive that I could do this over the next 3 weeks (might even lose more!) now that I have a bit of a plan.

Just had a thought - I've got my works Christmas party on Sunday night. I've just decided that I will drive so I can't drink. I will definitely go over my points allowance (Saw the menu weeks ago) but that does not mean I have to be panic and binge for the rest of the week. From tomorrow - I'll save up 2 points per day to counteract it (and I'll think about only eating half of my very fattening starter and dessert). OK enough talk for now! Either tonight or tomorrow - I'll explain how + why I decided to go to Prague for my balloon as I know a lot of people have been asking that question in the forums.:waving:
 
Day 2 od Stage 1

Morning! Well 1st things 1st: what I actually had yesterday
Bits of crap 6
100g Allbran 4
60g raisins 2
banana 2
30g pumpkin seeds 2
Skimmed milk 1
Thai chicken curry ready meal 6
Muller lite 1
Blueberries 2
Biscuit 3

So - how did I do with the rules?
1 - I did drink exactly 2l of water (none of the hot water with lemon but I'll try that today)
2 - I slept for almost exactly 8 hrs (was tired when I got home from work)
3 - I had 29 points - so was 1 point over what I agreed with myself to have
4 - No exercise - but I'm aiming to go tomorrow(Wednesday) or Thursday and Saturday or Sunday
5 - I had raisins, banana and 2 portions of blueberries

How did I feel? Well - HUNGRY, headachey and bloated for most of the day. I always feel hungry (that's just me - guess I've conditioned myself to feel hungry at anything less than bursting) and that's why a balloon will be really useful for me. Headachey and bloated - I think these 2 go together - I was definitely dehydrated (I'm sure it'll take a couple of days to hydrate properly) and I must have been SO full of CRAP (after my month long binge) - which would account for the headaches and bloating as my system started to move again having taken in the fibre and water after sooo long.

Well I must have been really full of crap - as when I weighed myself this morning I found that I HAVE LOST 4 lbs IN ONE DAY! Now I know this is just water and crap but what a fabulous mental boost. I had thought I would try to get 6 lbs off in the 3 weeks - but I can see that I must reconsider and go for another 5. That would mean that I had lost 2 of my 20 5lb chunks (10% there already) before having the balloon fitted! Must remember that I have Christmas and New Year to cope with - so to be clear - I want to lose another 7 lbs in 20 days (including XMas and New Year!)

Now - do you see how crazy over-excited I''m sounding after just one day? THIS is why I always fail at diets. I've been up and tidied my flat - when I'm depressed and bingeing it has a tendency to start looking like a crack den - and I'm about to paint the skirting boards - before heading off to work. I guarantee before the week is out I will have fallen into a pit of despair - and that is when I binge and the whole cycle starts again. At the moment - I've already thought - "Well - maybe I don't need a balloon - maybe this time I can really do it....NO! I have tried everything - I'm 30 - it's time to try something new. The saying "If you do what you've always done - you'll get what you've always got" strikes a chord with me - an I've always got WEIGHT GAIN!
OK - so my plan for today...
Biscuit 2
100g Allbran 4
Banana 2
Raisins 1
Milk 1
Pumpkin seeds 2
1 slice toast 1
2 eggs 3
Broccoli
Ready meal 6
Blueberries 2
Muller light 1

That makes 26 - pays back 1 for yesterday and saves 1 for XMas party on Sunday

Tomorrow - lose the biscuit (2) and the pumpkin seeds(2) and cut down to 75g Allbran (1) which will make 21 - saves 3 for the XMas party (and gives me 4 to play with).

If anyone bothered to read this pile of drivel - HAVE A GOOD DAY and STAY STRONG! I'm going to wite another post on the balloon that I promised yesterday.
 
Why the balloon - and deciding where to have it done

OK - I'm quite a big girl (upto size 20 now) and this is despite (I think we all know it's actually because) being on a diet since I was 10 years old when my mother 1st told me I could stand to lose a few (My BMI was 24 - it's now 40! Thanks Mum!). Anyway - I have tried it all: WeightWatchers, Slimming World, Calorie counting, LighterLife, Cambridge Diet, as well as all the crazies: Cabbage soup, "Heart Institute," egg and grapefruit and many many more.

I turned 30 and realised I couldn't bear to waste any more time - putting off participating in life as I have done for the last 20 years. I've lost lots of friends and missed out on so many opportunities as I've become more and more reclusive and I decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

I am not ready to go down the road of full-on surgery yet - I don't think I could bear the disappointment of my family. That is why the intragastric balloon seems like the best option for me. My inability to stick to a diet shows how it is my mind that is the problem and I need to work on that - but the fact remains that in the meantime I need to get a lot of weight off quickly as it is affecting my quality of life mentally and causing me physical pain (back and knees).

I assumed that I would have the operation in England, as only idiots go off to Eastern Europe and get dodgey procedures done. I looked at the British clinics and spoke to them - the N.O.C seemed the best - but £5k seemed a lot for a 20minute procedure that didn't require any surgery (and the once weekly phonecalls some of them offered as "ongoing support" didn't really seem to be worth the £100 per 10 mins I worked it out to be [when dividing the excess fees by the no. of phonecalls - explained later] - if I need a dietician I could pay for a few half hour sessions and it wouldn't even be 5% of what the clinics charge) , so I started to look on the web for clinics abroad and visited forums and one name came up again and again:prague Beauty.

I never heard anything but good things and they responded to e-mails and phone calls really professionally (more so than quite a few of the British clinics - I'd say WLS clinic was the worst). But what really swung it was finding out that I would have 2 nights stay in the hospital and not the 6 hours that the British clinics seem to boast of.
They are exactly half the price at £2.5k and that includes EVERYTHING - all accomodation, both procedures (in and out), both sets of flights and transport to and from the airport.

Obviously - I haven't undergone the procedure yet so I might be horribly horribly wrong about it all - but I believe I've done as much research as possi ble and I'm confident in my decision. I'll let you know if I was right!

Like I said - I did a lot of research - so if there's anything I haven't covered or if you have any questions - feel free to ask!
 
Right then - today didn't go as well as would have been ideal (ie I didn't stick to what I wrote out) - but trying to stop this all or nothing nonsense.

Biscuit 2
100g Allbran 4
Raisins 1
Banana 2
Pumpkin seeds 2
Broc
2 eggs 3
Toast 1
Singapore noodle ready meal 6
Pringles (idiot!) 4
Cookie (where was the willpower?!) 5
Total - was 30 - so 4 over what I'd promised myself to have - add that to the 1 over yesterday and I should be aiming for 21 tomorrow (later today now) which will be a bit hard for me - but I'll aim for it.

On the plus side (not talking about my figure):
I had 2 l of water (no hot water and lemon yet - forgot!)
4 portions of fruit and veg
fully intend to get the 8 hours sleep
AND I made headway in sorting out my flat

Plan:
2 eggs 3
2 toast 3
Banana 2
broccoli
ready meal 6
ready meal 6
Blueberries 2
Muller light 1
That gives 23 - so if I can stick to just that - and can do 24 on Thursday - I'll be back on track. Not going to make swimming tomorrow so it'll be Thursday I think.
 
Day 3 of stage 1

Well I just can't bloody believe it - I weigh in today at just UNDER 16st - which is another pound off! And that is after the bad choices I made foodwise last night at work! So that is 5 lb off - which is basically (1 more pound needed in actual fact) what I had aimed for for 3 whole weeks and I've done in 2 days! I know this is the result of coming off the mother of all binges I've been on this last month (I will have put on WAY more than that - I reckon 10 lbs - during that time) but for the purposes of this little project of my mine I'm only interested in how much I lose in relation to my starting weight.

So - I've got my plan for today which I verbal diarrhoeaed about last night/early this morning . For the record - these posts will cut down on waffle soon as this becomes more of an everyday part of my life - it's just that keeping this diary where people can read about my progress somehow makes it real. It's as if I actually for the 1st time am assuming THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN - I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT - I'm not sure I've believed that for a long time - in fact reading over my 1st post - just a couple of days ago - I even said I have no belief that I can lose weight. Once again - it makes me question this whole balloon idea - but then I've been here at least 100 times (no exaggeration). Oh I don't know!

On a surer note - to recap - I've lost 5 lbs in 2 days and by the end of 3 weeks my original goal was to lose 1 more lb - bringing me to 15st 13 - but now it's to lose another 5 lb (6 all in all) to bring me to 15 st 8. I have every right to think I can do this - the challenges to surmount will be work XMas party, XMas day, Kitschmas party, New Years eve.

I'm going to draw up a table (will do a seperate post) of my 5 lb chunks. Once again - apologies to anyone reading this crap - I can be a lot more interesting and don't always feel the need to write down every thought that pops into my head - I WILL start editing! This just seems to keep me focussed!
 
Stuff and nonsense to stay motivated

Start weight = 16st 5 start of stage 1
1st 5% (6) = 15 st 13 [ pyjamas ]
[GCSE german book]
2nd 10% = 15 st 8 = start of stage 2 [ car valet ]
[ balloon ]
3rd 15% = 15 st 3 [ Jewellery mending ]
[duvet day]
4th 20% = 14 st 12 [ Mary Joanna ]
[ amazon spree ]
5th 25% = 14 st 7 [ Body blitz ]
[ key fob ]
6th 30% = 14 st 2 [ veronica ]
[ gym clothes ]
7th 35% = 13 st 11 [ clothes try-on ]
33% = 13 st 9 [ jewellery ]
[ bubble bath ]
8th 40% = 13 st 6 [ hair cut ]
[ duvet day ]
9th 45% = 13 st 1 [ hair colour ]
[ Massage ]
10th 50% = 12 st 10 [ Body blitz ]
[clothes try-on]
11th 55% = 12 st 5 [ GCSE Italian book ]
[underwear set ]
12th 60% = 12 stone [ clothes try-on ]
[e-bay spree ]
13th 65% = 11 st 9 [ Manicure ]
66% = [ Vienna ]
[workout clothes]
14th 70% = 11 st 4 [ Jewellery ]
[ duvet day ]
15th 75% = 10 st 13 [ Body Blitz ]
[ clothes try-on]
16th 80% = 10 st 8 = start of stage 3 [ underwear set ]
[Greg]
17th 85% = 10 st 3 [ clothes try-on ]
[ Hair cut ]
18th 90% = 9 st 12 [ Tattoo ]
[ clothes try-on ]
19th 95% = 9 st 7 [ New wardrobe ]
[ duvet day ]
20th 100% = 9 st 2 [ Body Blitz ]
 
Okey doke - I'm knackered so for once will try to make this brief!

Did fabulously today - stuck to the plan I made last night to the absolute letter - BUT I'M SO HUNGRY! (Just at night - only a few pangs during the day bit my stomach must be so stretched after last night that I'm hoping this will improve after another few days) so I got straight into bed and logged on - God I love this sight!

1-managed to drink 2.5l of water and a cup of white tea (the lemon is not really appealin at the mo)
2 - doing great with the fruit and veg count: banana + broc + blueberries.
3 - stuck to the points today
4 - exercise - supposed to go 2moro
5 - will try for the full 8 hrs

Minor concerns:
1 These are the only f+v I'm fancying at the moment - so will just stick with it until something else takes my fancy.
2 Cannot imagine being arsed to go swimming 2moro - must try to force myself

OK - 24 points for tomorrow and then I'm back to normality. So not worth going over points because it SUCKS having to make them up. At least I'm saving some for Sunday's party so it won't be too bad - although then I'll have to start saving up for Xmas! And then New Year!

So plan for tomorrow:

2 eggs 3
2 bread 3
banana 2
ready meal 6
broc
muller lite 1
half punnet blueberries 1
ready meal 6
muller lite 1
half punnet blueberries 1

Over and out xxx
 
madharri123 said:
I turned 30 and realised I couldn't bear to waste any more time - putting off participating in life as I have done for the last 20 years. I've lost lots of friends and missed out on so many opportunities as I've become more and more reclusive and I decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
Click to expand...

i can identify with the above statement 100%, it's also why i started on my weight loss journey. i told myself i have to stop hiding from the world and have to start LIVING. i'm 29 and not getting any younger and at some point want to be the one actually getting married and having kids (as opposed to watching all my friends get married and being the only single girl i know :(). just wanted to let you know your not alone in your quest for health and happiness. wishing you all the best xoxo
 
Day 4 of Stage 1

Well I've done what I know I shouldn't and I've weighed myself again AND I am now 15st 12 (222 lbs) - that is 7 lbs ie HALF A STONE in 3 days! It's just my body using up the glycogen stores and the water associted with that and of course it's not going to carry on and I know that I weighed less than this 6 weeks ago BUT STILL! As far as my sore back and knees are concerned - 7lbs is 7 lbs is 7 lbs!

Now I'm REALLY not sure what to do balloonwise. I haven't managed to lose any weight by still eating normally etc for so long that I'd convinced myself that I couldn't - and now all it seems I was missing was this forum! Seems to me like I could save myself £2.5k and a whole load of sickness - BUT I really cannot afford to let the ball drop at all this time. If I do - I know I'll just be lost in the wilderness again for a long time and that is not an option if I want my life to start going forward again - AND I DO! The contract arrived from Prague Beauty today that i need to sign.

Just had a little think and I'm doing it. I've really looked into this and I'm going in with my eyes wide open. I was jusyt getting a bit carried away with having manages to stick to a diet for 3 days. I know myself and I know my history - and I need some extra help. This 3 weeks (0nly 2.5 weeks now!) before the operation will help me afterwards not to be so frightened of food and give it so much power over me - and I'm going to seriously think about NOT doing Lighterlife when I have the balloon.

Losing this 7 lbs means that I get to buy myself a set of pyjamas - something warm and sensible as I want it for New Year (for the last 2 years I've had a pyjama party[sit in our PJs and watch telly and eat shite - 1 of these activities will change this year for me!] with a friend of mine - this year there will be 3 of us) and for the "Prague Procedure" - that sounds like a good title for something. And the GCSE book on German as I want to learn and I just know I'm going to have so much more time when I stop obsessing about food all day everyday - and I should use my mind to learn new things - I've got a lot of catching up to do!

OK - enough for now! I've already got my plan that I made last night for today - so I'll drop back in tonight after work.

Have a GREAT day today people! xxx
 
madharri123 said:
Thanks for the supportive message maha! It looks like you're doing brilliantly! Catch you later xxx
Click to expand...



thanks very much. Ya i have joined Fitness studio and doing bike (spinning) at home. It seem to be very good.. and I am also taking small amount of every meal.
 
Just had a really hair-raising not to mention LONG journey home in the bloody snow. Stuck to exactly what I said I would today but come the evening I feeel so hungry! I could easily eat another meal - that's obviously what I have been doing because I can't remember going to bed on anything but a full stomach for a LONG time! I need that balloon. I have to get up to go to work again ina few hours but couldn't go to bed without visiting here 1st. It's so cold in my flat - I would have prepared myself a selection of really fatty foods to cheer me up - but now I'm forcing myself to bed instead. I have not watched 1 minute of Tv since joining this forum - and I was watching HOURS before and eating whilst I did it.

I have 26 points for tomorrow - but won't have any time for breakfast - which is a bit of a killer. Guess I'll have

Sandwich 7
Ready meal 6
Muller lite 1
Raspberries 1
Blueberries 1
2 eggs 3
2 bread 3
Broccoli
2 biscuits

It's not pretty and it needs a shake up otherwise I'll go crazy next week, but I can obsess about that whenI'm not so tired. Wonder wheher I wake up feeling hungry? Night night xxx
 
Day 5 of Stage 1

Snow has stuck around so I missed work - but feel really guilty about it. They've spent all bloody day ringing me even though I've said I've supposedly swapped for tomorrow so should have been left alone! I was stressed and really wanted something to eat and have been clock watching as to when I can eat! Have had to stick to what's in the fridge. So far I've had:

Banana 2
Toast 2
Raisins 2
Curry ready meal 13!!!(but it was delicious!)
Didn't even have any broccoli to have with the curry.
So I've still got 7 points to play with: I'm thinking I'll have
muller lite 1
blueberries 2
in a minute. That leaves me with 4 for my evening meal. Maybe
Can of sweetcorn (2) and can of tuna (1) and 1tbs salad cream(1) which seems a bit miserable - haven't even got any onions or tomatoes or peppers in to jazz it up! Or I could have 2 biscuits!
God I'm OBSESSED with what I'm eating next! I didn't weigh myself this morning but will tomorrow.
Laters xxx
 
I'm mad with myself and ok at the same time! Ok because I stayed to my points limit! Mad becase I went with my joke option and had the biscuits for supper! I also expended no energy whatsoever! When I'm this big I really have no energy whatsoever! My lack of sleep last night can't have helped. I haven't even got dressed today! How shit is that? All I can do is do better tomorrow: really hope the snow is not an issue tomorrow - could do without the stress.

Plan for tomorrow is:
Sandwich 7
Ready meal 6
bluberries 1
Raspberries 1
muller lite 1
Seeing my folks - so 10 points for something healthy

On Sunday - cereal for breakfast and s/w for lunch and XMas party (Assuming that is taken up by the 10 points I've saved up this week)

starter - fried camembert (half portion) 8
main - lamb shank 10
pudd - sticky toffee (half portion) 8
1 glass wine 2
 
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