lost 3.5 stone and now my confidence has been ruined because of a boy!

emmaroo91

emmaroo91

Member
i have never had a boyfriend really, and then with the weight loss i began to start loving myself , dressing fashionably and feeling comfy in my own skin.

with all this postiveness a guy came on scene about 3 weeks ago , we went to the same college and had never met before. every night we spoke for at least 2 hours he knew everything about me ( including that im a virgin , and also the weight loss ) then we bumped into each other 3 times in college when finally he invited me on a date.

i assumed the date had gone really well, he payed for everything , we kissed on the cheek at the end of the night and he thanked me for a nice time that night and i was meant to be stopping over at his on wednesday i told him i would do however i wasnt willing to do anything sexual as im a virgin and hadnt known him that long.

afterwoods he stopped speaking to me , then 5 days after i saw him in the canteen with about 7 of his friends.. i saw him look up and he just blanked me and his friends sniggered and laughed, and as we sat down they shouted 'boom' i felt like crying , Although he looked up twice to smile at me as if he was to embarresed to actually say hi.

about 30 mins later the group of boys were outside of my teaching block and as me and my friend walked in they called out "HES FREE TONIGHT IF YOU WANT A PIECE' :(

one i got home i went onto msn and he asked if i was okay, i tried to ignore him but he then went on to say the whole its me not you phrase.

'your the most lovliest, geniune down to earth girl i have ever met and are to good for me '
im just not attracted to you and dont want to lead you on. blah de blah.


i thought everything was finally beginning to make sense and i felt good about myself for once, now he has told me how he feels about me i feel like an ugly, in-adaquate girl (although i should of realized how he was, seeing as he has like 600 girl friends on facebook)
 and i have done nothing but eat all week as my appetite is out of this world!

everyone i know is telling me im a 1000 times to good for him , but i think thats just a biast opinion they have,
 
I really hope that you are able to start feeling as you were before (loving yourself, feeling comfortable in your own skin, etc.)...I know it is hard to not take those type of comments and behavior personally but try your best not to let it affect how you feel about yourself.

Confidence is sexy, maybe that's why this guy gave you attention in the first place? If the weight thing bothered him that much, he would not have asked you out...I'm not sure how old you are, but it sounds like this guy is just immature and is listening to his buddies. If one of his friends said sumthing about your weight, maybe this guy doesn't feel confident enough himself to tell them to mind their own business. Some guys just can't seem to get past what their buddies say, and they feel like they have to listen to their buddies to be part of the group. Acceptance is important to everyone, and while that does not make his behavior right, it might explain it a bit and help you cope with the emotions this brought on. Perhaps this guy is a man whore too...that may girls on his facebook, etc. Maybe he realized that your prob looking for more of a relationship whereas he may just be looking to hook up...something he is not guaranteed to get from a virgin. Any guy that will not accept you for who you are is not the right kind of guy for you...its all about finding someone who is looking for the same thing as you are.

Binging is a hard habit to get out of (still working on it over here!), especially when your an emotional eater. Remember how good you felt before this happened because you were eating better and losing weight? Just keep that feeling in mind when you have the urge to overeat. You have done an awesome job so far and you deserve to be feeling confident and more comfortable with yourself!
 
Grrr. Guys can be so stupid sometimes, really. It probably is more to do with you not wanting to be sexual yet than anything else. What idiots to say "if you want a piece", when that's exactly what you said you didn't want. I reckon he's got hurt pride just because you didn't want to go there.
Don't let his stupid friends beat you! You are on an amazing path, and they are insignificant germs in your way. Stay focussed. You deserve success after you've worked so hard...don't you dare let them ruin what you have achieved.
You will get over the pain, and there will be other, more self assured guys who will like you for who you are.
 
Honey, that happens to everyone whether they're underweight,overweight or perfect. You're lucky to be out of that situation sooner than not. Don't settle for a douche bag.
 
LowFatMilk said:
Honey, that happens to everyone whether they're underweight,overweight or perfect. You're lucky to be out of that situation sooner than not. Don't settle for a douche bag.
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Yep, something similar happened to me a long time ago. :iagree:

Want to know a secret?

Guys like that aren't worthy enough to even lick dog crap off your shoes. They sure as hell aren't worth destroying all your hard work over with overeating.

Besides, do you really want to waste time on a jackass that can't keep his big mouth shut on your personal details to his buddies?

Best revenge is to keep up on your weight loss, get smokin' hot, project that confidence you have started to feel, and he'll see what he missed out on.
 
His opinion shouldn't mean jack. He obviously has some issues he should get over with himself. Keep up what you're doing and in no time - instead of just repeating to yourself that he's not worth it, you'll know he's not worth it.
 
oh hun, i'm sorry you had such an awful experiance. men can be such children sometimes...at any age. Don't let this get you down! If anything use it to fuel your fire!

My favorite saying is this "No one can make you feel inferior without your concent"
 
Don't feel bad, from the information it seems to have little to do with your personality/looks. In fact, if all he was interested in was one thing, that means he found you appealing in the looks department. I would chalk that up to a win.

Its all about the sex. Which is awesome BTW and you should take the gentleman up on his offer. BE SAFE THOUGH CAUSE YOU DONT WANT A BABY. Those things are aweful.
 
jeffisbig said:
Don't feel bad, from the information it seems to have little to do with your personality/looks. In fact, if all he was interested in was one thing, that means he found you appealing in the looks department. I would chalk that up to a win.

Its all about the sex. Which is awesome BTW and you should take the gentleman up on his offer. BE SAFE THOUGH CAUSE YOU DONT WANT A BABY. Those things are aweful.
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Ok, it could possibly be viewed as a compliment in a fucked up and backhanded sort of way that seems to suit wankers that only think with one part of their body.

Take him up on his offer? Please tell me you are joking. If somebody treated me like that, the only way I'd touch them is to punch them in the neck. He's a jackass that doesn't deserve to be rewarded for his actions.
 
jeffisbig said:
Don't feel bad, from the information it seems to have little to do with your personality/looks. In fact, if all he was interested in was one thing, that means he found you appealing in the looks department. I would chalk that up to a win.

Its all about the sex. Which is awesome BTW and you should take the gentleman up on his offer. BE SAFE THOUGH CAUSE YOU DONT WANT A BABY. Those things are aweful.
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'A GENTLEMAN'
are we on about the same fella?
 
I dont even know anything about you, but from what you say, you ARE worth so so soooo much more than that prick!

Dont beat yourself up over other peoples issues.

Live your life, be happy, you'll find your Mr Right and look back at 'Gentlemen' like this and laugh yo ass off!

Keep your chin up :)

:seeya:
 
Hey Girl - I tried to get a boyfriend all through high school, and it didn't happen until I was 20. It was in high school that I got burned by a few in that point-blank way like you were, while just innocently looking for a good guy who might want to date me.

You took this guy into your confidence - you gave him the secrets you are most insecure about, and he just stomped on them. That happened to me too. It makes me very angry to hear that it happened to you

He has no right to your self-respect. You are very valuable, and what he did was demoralize you to gain respect among his friends. He USED you. I wouldn't have anything more to do with him. Don't look at him or talk with him. Avoid him, and any sort of attention you bestow upon this rodent of humanity should be hard earned. While he may seem to have tried to be nice while letting you down, he was using you to gain points for himself.

He may grow up someday, but don't stand around for it. Move on, and keep looking until you find someone who will listen to you and you find interesting as well. From afar, he may or may not see what he has lost, but you will have long forgot about him.

And are those guys who listen in confidence and are considerate of your feelings out there? Most definitely, yes. I am dating one right now!
 
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That guy sounds like a right tosser, and his friends even more so. It may hurt now, but you'll get over it and realise that you're better off for it not having gone any further.
 
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